How Will I Know

Disclaimer: I haven't written anything for a while… on the computer, at least. But that hasn't changed where I stand in the long, long line of people waiting to see a council to determine if they may own a small fraction of InuYasha. (I'm # 3,459,004, if you're wondering.)

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!!! I laughed. I cried. I kept writing, my inspiration renewed! Thank You all! (Especially you, Inuman! If it was meant to be insulting, it actually inspired me to get off my butt and do some research into this story of mine! Thanks!) Ok, without further ado, here's the story:

Chapter 15: How Will I Know

InuYasha kicked at the ground in frustration. They'd been here for three days waiting for some whisper or hint of Naraku's whereabouts. They'd gotten nothing. At all. InuYasha growled deep in his chest, barely making a sound through his lips. Not only had Naraku vanished, leaving no trace except the bareness of the mountainside, but Kagome was still acting like he didn't exist. No… she was acting like he existed, and she hated him.

Every time he'd tried to apologize, or ask what he'd done wrong, or just try to comfort her, she'd sat him. It was a regular occurrence now; it didn't have to be, but he didn't want to leave her side. She hadn't told him how he could make up for… whatever he did, so he came up with his own idea: never let her out of his sight. For the last three days, the only time Kagome hadn't been seen by or able to see InuYasha was when she took a bath. Of course, as soon as she was clothed, he'd heard and come right up to her again, back on his routine. He'd follow her like a puppy, most of the time on two feet, but when she was particularly angry or sad, he'd follow on all fours. She seemed less likely to be angry when he did this, and he was 'sat' less often.

Also, every time he talked to her, she would watch him as if she saw straight through him, with acute focus and anger or sadness. After he finished his first sentence ('Kagome.' 'What have I done wrong' 'Are you alright' and 'I'm sorry, please; Kagome' being the most common sentences) she would usually say 'Sit.'

Of course, this got tiring and made him sore, but he never really paid attention to that. As if the 'sits' weren't enough, Kagome cried herself to sleep. He could smell it, and the sting of salt burned his nose and heart. Yesterday, though… he smelled her tears when a soul collector came out of the forest. He watched it, and then the scent of tears filled the air. Kagome was turned mostly away from him, but the corner of her eye was on him, and he knew it. He walked away from the collector towards Kagome, and ended up swatting at it when it wouldn't leave. It hissed at him and retreated to the forest. Kagome said nothing, and walked away. InuYasha, of course, followed, but he didn't receive a sit command this time.

Miroku and Sango hadn't been blind to this behavior; they watched InuYasha and Kagome day in and day out, thinking of anything they could do to help. They tried talking to them individually and together. Nothing seemed to be able to snap Kagome out of her 'trance-like' state, and the only thing InuYasha was interested in listening to was Kagome, or the surroundings for danger.

In the evening of the third day, Miroku and Sango sat with Shippou, planning. The kitsune had taken to Sango when Kagome had become unresponsive. Now, as Kagome lay in her sleeping bag and InuYasha crouched next to her, about five feet away and silently focusing all his attention on her sleeping form, the little fox whined and began to think.

"If only InuYasha and Kagome weren't so stubborn! Then we wouldn't have to worry about them." Shippou complained.

"It's not just their stubbornness; I think it may be that they're too embarrassed or shy to do any soul-searching or really talk to each other." Miroku added.

"Well then…" Sango began, "Shouldn't it help if we left them alone for a day?"

They paused to consider this. If they left InuYasha and Kagome alone for a day… would they help each other? Maybe it would get worse… but there were no other options at this time. They couldn't continue at this status, and it hurt them to see their friends so down. But what purpose would they have for leaving that could take a whole day?

"We could leave... to find Ekonika. She hasn't returned yet. I've wondered where she is." Sango volunteered after some time. Miroku nodded.

"But we'll also need to gather more food soon; if we stay here much longer when and if the plan fails, we can't live off Kagome's Ninja food much longer. Now we have two excuses." Miroku sat up, smug. Well, now that we have that figured out, let's get some rest and pray for our friend's happy reunion tomorrow." He lay back and fell fast asleep in no time. Sango looked at him, stunned.

"Well, we should pack a little, but not much. Also, we can't forget to bring anyone and anything besides InuYasha and Kagome. We can't have anything keep them from talking to each other, now, can we?" Sango yawned and lay down, soon falling asleep with Shippou in her arms.

Kagome woke and rolled over. InuYasha was dozing on his knees, and she could tell he'd been watching her. She sat up slowly, and was greeted by her friend's faces.

"Good Morning!" Shippou called, smiling. Kagome sat up and hugged him, smiling slightly back. InuYasha jumped slightly when Shippou's voice woke him. He stood and looked around.

"Are we going somewhere?" He looked at the small packs Miroku and Sango carried.

"Yes, we are, but you aren't. Sango, Shippou, Kirara and I are heading out to look for Ekonika. Also, we need to find more food. Some breakfast is over there. See you tonight!" Miroku waved and began walking off. Sango giggled at the expression on InuYasha's face. He looked happy (to be alone with Kagome-but that changed shortly when he remembered that she still 'hated' him), but also very confused. When she looked back, he was looking sideways at Kagome, who was looking sideways at him, both kind of sadly, but mostly conferring their confusion on their friend's actions. Good, she thought. They're beginning to talk to each other again, even if it's only through glances.

Miroku and Sango disappeared down the road, and Kagome sat where she was. Shippou ran after them, soon disappearing too. She looked around, seeing first InuYasha, then the breakfast. Well, I don't know what they're trying to pull, but leaving me alone with InuYasha probably won't help this… it'll make us get along horrifically. Kagome walked over to the food and began eating. She was followed by InuYasha, of course, and they ate a silent breakfast. Afterwards, Kagome walked over to the forest nearby. They'd discovered a stream in there, almost a mile from camp. As she walked over to it (the long way), InuYasha walked silently next to her, still refusing to leave her sight or leave her out of his.

Kagome's vision became blurry with tears when they were halfway to the stream. Now she cried because she was tired of crying. She couldn't stand to be at terms like this with InuYasha, even if he had confessed his love for someone else. She thought of a way to tell him what she'd seen, because, although she was angry with him, she couldn't stand to see him not know what he'd done. He wasn't that thick, right? Besides, he probably doesn't know that after you kiss someone, they expect loyalty and love…

They approached the stream just in time; Kagome's tears spilled over. She collapsed to her knees by the edge of the stream, and splashed water into her face. It cooled her long-heated eyes, and washed away all the tears. The water was cold and comforting as she held it up to her face, letting it soak. InuYasha stood by helplessly, trying to comfort her again. He reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, which made her gasp.

"Sit." This time, it was surprised, and mostly habit. Each time he touched her, she felt pain, and anger. She kept washing her face, thinking not much of it. Soon, her eyes ceased to be warm, swollen, or red. She sighed, and looked around for something to dry her hands and face with. InuYasha offered the sleeve of his haiori, and it sent her into tears again.

Why do I cry so easily?! Kagome berated herself.

InuYasha spread his arms in another attempt to comfort her. He was surprised when, this time, Kagome flung herself into his arms and hugged him. He sat back against a tree, cradling her against his chest in his lap. If she needed comfort now, he was more than happy to give it. He was happy just that she was allowing him to touch her. He'd longed for it ever since she was kidnapped, but now was probably not the time to kiss her. After a few minutes, Kagome's crying softened and she began to breathe normally, but a sob still escaped every now and then.

As Kagome clutched InuYasha's haiori, she slowly looked up and saw his face. He was looking straight ahead, trying with all his might not to look at her lest he incur her wrath.

"What's wrong?" He asked, so softly that Kagome almost missed it. She sucked in her breath, surprised, and seemingly herself again. After another minute of silent crying, she began to speak.

"InuYasha…" She said his name to test herself, seeing if it would open the flood of sorrow as it had before. Nothing happened, and she wondered if it was because she was sitting in InuYasha's lap. No pain came so she continued. "There is – a half demon I know. I was in trouble not too long ago, and he- he was coming to rescue me. When he was on his way, he suddenly went to pursue another priestess. I can't understand why he- why he did such a thing. After all we'd done together, and all the four days that we'd spent alone together and… everything." Kagome broke off and started sobbing lightly into InuYasha's chest. He hugged her tightly, but something about her told him that what she'd just said wasn't the main problem.

"What did he do to hurt you this much?" He said, playing into her game of third person. Kagome collected herself, but wrapped her arms around his neck, needing his presence to comfort her and give her the strength to talk.

"This Hanyou… well, first of all I was in Naraku's castle, chained by my hands and legs, and tired with a wound on my side that hadn't healed. I was getting used to my surroundings, and then Naraku walked in. He carried with him and orb that was crystal clear, and at first I refused to look at it, thinking it was going to harm me. Naraku left, and the orb floated over to me and in front of my eyes. I wanted to turn away, but in it there was a picture… of the half-demon… walking along a path." Kagome paused to see how InuYasha would take the fact that she'd spied on him. She felt suddenly guilty.

InuYasha was surprised, but he was so glad to just be talking with Kagome and holding her, and even if she'd spied on him and Kikyo, there was nothing that he would be ashamed of. Nothing that I can remember, anyway. He held Kagome closer, comfortingly. She continued; it felt like courage was coming to her from her surroundings.

"He… pulled out a bottle of jewel shards, and then put them away after inspecting them. Later, soul collectors flew from behind his friends and over to him, calling him to the priestess. He sat in the path, and his friends became angry and left without him. As he thought, a merchant with a wagon came along, and I was scared he would hurt the man, but he left him. Then, he stood and bounded into the forest after the priestess. When he came upon her… she asked if he'd considered going with her to the underworld, and he said no… he said he didn't want to go."

Kagome was remembering the scene she'd fought to forget, and it seemed to flow to her now.

"The priestess asked if it was me that made him say no, and if he would go to the underworld with me if I asked him to. He said I wasn't going there. She challenged that, and the Hanyou began to say if Naraku hadn't come, then… and she said 'if Naraku hadn't come then what?' Then he said her name, and she walked over to him and hugged him…then she… she – kissed him." Kagome whispered the last words, and began to cry again.

InuYasha wished she wouldn't… it made him uncomfortable, and to see her so sad made it worse.

"Then… he asked her why she'd done that… and then he hugged her again… after that, he said… 'I can't take this anymore! Kikyo, I l-lo-lo-ve you." Kagome stuttered, and then started sobbing into InuYasha's haiori, her heart left out in the open, for him to read and either mend or destroy forever. After a while, when InuYasha had not responded, she looked up at his face. Her anger flared, but was shattered by her grief. He was smiling. That jerk was smiling!

"Is that all you're upset about?" He asked her, and then realized he'd crossed whatever line Kagome had set. She glared up at him.

"Yes, mostly that's all I'm upset about. But, since I ran into you again you've just been a big- a big jerk!" InuYasha was taken aback, but he wasn't about to let her go on being mad at him over that petty misunderstanding.

"Look, Kagome; first of all, I didn't say 'Kikyo, I love you, it was something different. Second, remember a few days ago, you said you hated me? Well, it felt like my heart had been torn out and brutally, torturously murdered." His smile grew and he hugged her again.

"Then- what did you say, if it wasn't 'I love you'?" Kagome finally asked, a minute later.

"I said 'I can't take this anymore, Kikyo, I love Kagome.'" Kagome gasped, stunned. She wanted to believe it, and make this whole thing one big misunderstanding. She looked into his eyes, and they smiled truthfully; there was no doubt or deceit in them at all. She was confused, and happy, and angry, and many other emotions. She squirmed out of InuYasha's lap and sat a few feet away, chin resting on her knees. She knotted her fingers together and tried to sort out her mind.

InuYasha let her go grudgingly, but he somehow knew she needed to sit by herself. Instead of doing anything, he just sat and watched her, trying to decipher what she was thinking. If she chooses to hate me forever… I can't bear it, but I must be prepared. Please, Kagome, believe what I've told you! It's true! After another few minutes, Kagome raised her head from her knees and looked at him apprehensively. She had stopped crying, and was not hollow; he could tell she was far from it.

"Listen, I said 'I love Kagome'. That's all. Kikyo wanted me to come with her, but I couldn't, not with you in my life now. Kagome, trust me, ok? I'll never take back what I said."

Kagome returned her gaze to the floor in front of her, and InuYasha could tell she was still doubtful.

"I thought I loved Kikyo, in the past. Now I love- someone else." He couldn't say 'I love you', it was just too hard right now.

"I've realized that with Kikyo, it wasn't really love. Not on my end, anyway. I don't know about her. In the past, I liked Kikyo because I had been on my own for so long, and she was the one who finally accepted me, after all those years. The acceptance made me think I was in love. But now… it's so much different. I don't know what this could be besides love. It feel like- I could live forever with just this one person beside me; as if I could face anything."

InuYasha has spaced out during his explanation, and found he'd been mostly explaining to himself. He knew now that what he'd spoken was true. He watched Kagome, and when she didn't move, he sat next to her, not touching her but so close that if he moved he would. She sat still, then:

"How do I know you aren't lying?" Her eyes had a tint of hope in them.

"I promise, Kagome. I'm tired of hiding myself from you. I'll stay with you forever, if you'll let me. I want to."

"What about Kikyo?"

"I'll never go near her again… not if you don't want me to." Kagome could hear the hesitation in his voice, and laughed once, disbelieving.

"I mean it, Kagome! If you don't want me to, I'll never even look at her again!" This time there was resolve in his voice.

"How will I know you will… uphold that promise?" Kagome stared at the dirt floor in front of her. After a minute, there was no reply from InuYasha. She looked up suddenly, to find him studying her face. He leaned in swiftly and smoothly, and placed a single, soft kiss on her lips. When he pulled back a second later, Kagome was crying again. InuYasha hugged her, not knowing what else to do.

"I'm so sorry InuYasha, you probably hate me! I've been so cold to you in the past few days, I'm so sorry!" InuYasha watched Kagome carefully, accepting her apology immediately.

"Of course not, I'll be fine. I deserved a few days of punishment for going to see Kikyo." Kagome kept crying. InuYasha pulled her tighter into the hug. Kagome calmed down eventually and sat up, thinking.

"I won't make you stay away from Kikyo. However: would you please not touch her anymore?" Kagome looked up hopefully.

"Alright, but-"

"And, one more thing. Don't ever leave me!" Kagome laughed, and hugged InuYasha with such an impact that he fell over. InuYasha laughed slightly back, and sat up.

"I was going to tell you that!" He exclaimed, and hugged her. He then promptly picked her up around the middle and smiled at her. She turned herself slightly, and he picked up on the cue. He shifted to carrying her bridal style, and laughed at all that had transpired. Kagome joined in.

"Some misunderstanding, hm?" Kagome asked from his arms, her own arms around his neck.

"Yes, let's make sure there isn't another one." InuYasha laughed at his response; suddenly everything seemed so funny and light. It was as if a weight and been lifted from his shoulders, and he was free. He couldn't stop laughing or smiling, and Kagome couldn't either.

"So… what did Kikyo do after you told her?" Kagome brought up. Normally, it would have thrown him off, but today it was all natural.

"Well," He grinned, smirking, "She said she'd give me time to reconsider, then left. She looked calm, but I could tell she was fuming. When she comes, you and I will be together, no matter what she says!" InuYasha's smirk grew. Kagome pulled her face up to his and kissed him on the cheek. InuYasha growled happily. It was such an odd noise that Kagome began giggling, and InuYasha did it again. This time, he took off into the air. They broke through the canopy of the trees, and both beings felt whole; complete and ecstatic. It was as if none of the Naraku incident had happened, but they did, and would, always remember.

InuYasha landed by the stream near camp. He looked down at his 'prize' in his arms, and his triumphant, almost evil smile made Kagome somewhat scared and she started laughing. InuYasha leaned down and pressed his mouth to her stomach where her shirt had been pulled slightly up, revealing a few inches of skin. Kagome squeaked before he even did anything; she knew what was coming. He zerberted her stomach, which sent her into fits of giggles, and she squirmed. InuYasha dropped her into the stream, realizing too late what he'd done. After the splash cleared, Kagome was sitting in the stream, soaked and glaring. He whined and jumped back a step, fearing her wrath. She puffed up her cheeks and… shot a jet of water at him. It hit him square in the forehead, and Kagome laughed her head almost off. InuYasha looked at her as a mother would look at her child that'd just played in a mud puddle but was too cute to scold.

Kagome stood up, done laughing, and didn't see InuYasha on the bank. Suddenly, she heard a large splash behind her and spun around to face a wall of water. She wiped her eyes clear, now soaked, and saw InuYasha standing there, dripping wet from the knees down. He growled at her playfully and swung his claws through the water, sending it at her. Kagome ducked to the best of her ability, and then began to throw water back.

"InuYasha, you're soaked."

"Not as much as you. You were soaked from when I jumped in."

Kagome and InuYasha were laid out on a patch of grass, gazing at the sky. They argued, but knew it was a petty argument, and were just in it for the fun of it. They had continued their water fight until InuYasha noticed the sun had descended some. Now it was about two hours from sunset, and they watched the clouds roll by, content. (A/n- if you've ever seen the picture where InuYasha and Kagome are lying on their backs, one upside down to the other with InuYasha's hands behind his head and Kagome's hands clasped on her stomach--- imagine that here.)

Kagome rolled to her stomach, now looking directly at the top of InuYasha's head. He rolled to his stomach in place, so he was looking directly at Kagome. He sat up and she did the same. Both were still damp, but the afternoon sun had cured them of their dripping.

"What a day today was, huh, InuYasha? I hope there are others like it… well, the last part, anyway." Kagome moved over to his lap. She'd missed being with him like this for so long. InuYasha hugged her around her waist, still sitting. He rested his head on her shoulder and sighed.

"I'm glad to have you back, Kagome. I missed you so much." He said as he nuzzled the side of her neck. Kagome giggled, and they soon fell asleep, exhausted physically and emotionally.

Miroku and Sango returned to camp with Ekonika. It was dark, so they quietly laid out the food where it could be easily watched and looked around for InuYasha and Kagome. They found them lying out in the grass, one of InuYasha's arms behind Kagome, and she was tucked up against him. Sango brought over a blanket, and when she laid it on them, felt that their clothes were wet. She shrugged, figuring she'd ask tomorrow. Miroku, Sango, and Shippou settled down for the night, and Ekonika and Kirara set up a watch. Everyone drifted into peaceful slumber.

NOTE: Zerbert- blowing air onto bare skin, producing a tickling sensation and a noise like a motorboat. - So cute… you all know, I'm sure. Parents did it when you were a kid… something like that. Well, I'm glad I got around to this chapter: I missed being able to write romance! Well, enjoy, I'll start chapter 16 as soon as I think of something. Oh, and I greatly dislike Kikyo. I heard she eventually dies (for real this time). Lol… I'll have to see it to believe it. Well, I won't start rambling, so please R+R! Thanks!