Everyone changes with time. A day, a week, a month, a year... they all count. So how much can a group of rag tag 4th graders from P.S. 118 change with junior high, high school, and a whole bunch of history between those seven years? A whole lot.
Years Later
The Funk
It was girls' night at 1422 L Street.
A night that was strictly celebrated by the younger Pataki sisters, Helga and Hilda, plus one Phoebe Heyerdahl, but it wasn't this Friday night. This Friday night it was strictly a Pataki sisters event, Phoebe was being forced to attend some charity ball with her parents ("Just because I, in quote out quote 'chopped off my hair without permission...' Since when have I ever asked them for permission for anything since I entered junior high? They are both freaking workaholicing arghalicious baboons!" "You do realize workaholicing is not a word right?" "Shut up, you arghalicious baboon!" "I guess I should be grateful that I'm not a workaholicing arghalicious baboon, right?" "Oh, just shove it!").
Pumping in the background was loud music of the 70s, 80s, 90s, and even some music from foreign countries were thrown into the music, all in all, reflecting Helga's very unique and all over the place music taste. Luckily Bob was out working late at Big Bob's Beepers, so there was no need for Helga and Hilda to worry about the noise level of the loud stereo system.
Helga had just finished painting Hilda's fingernails and toenails purple when the 1st grader decided that she wanted to jump up and down on Helga's bed. Helga knew that the pretty flower design on the little girl's toenails was virtually a goner, but Helga didn't mind– in fact she joined her. A timer went off on Helga's dresser and Helga jumped off her bed and landed on the ground gracefully.
Hilda stopped jumping to clap for Helga. "9.8."
"What happened to the .2?"
"Your execution was not up to par," Hilda smirked "But not everyone is a grand champion gold medal winner at the Bedapult." Hilda in turn, did her own jump off the bed, and then bowed at her waist. "And that's how you get a prefect 10.0."
Helga rolled her eyes and playfully shoved her younger sister. "You mean perfect... and I dare say that you need to stop talking to Phoebe and Sid, I see their vocabulary and cockiness are rubbing off on you."
Helga walked out into the hallway with Hilda trailing behind her. "By Scot, I think you're right... has anyone ever told you that you should be a detective?"
Helga looked down at the petite girl with a mixture of amusement and shock written on her face.
Hilda raised an eyebrow, unconsciously, although there was a rather large percentage in Helga's mind that she was doing it consciously, mirroring one of Helga's infamous looks. "Ye—es Helgs?"
"I shudder at this brainwashing of my own sister. I'm going to kill Sid... and maybe Phoebe too. Probably not her, she does serve some purpose, plus after I'm arrested and sent to jail for first degree murder, someone will have to take care of Hilda," Helga muttered to her self as she opened the bathroom door.
"I can hear you. Are you going crazy?" Hilda said as she danced around her sister's legs.
Purposely ignoring her sister comment, Helga walked into the bathroom. "I'm gonna wash my hair alright Pixie, so you go back to my room and if the alarm for the pizza oven goes off, turn off the oven and leave the pizza, if the doorbell rings, come and get me. Don't answer the door."
"Alright!" Hilda bounced off to Helga's room happily— after all, she knew exactly where Helga hid her large chocolate stash.
Helga proceeded to wash out her hair. Afterwards she pulled out a blow dryer and dried her hair before she got a chance to see the finished product. Her hair was basically pink with only her bangs being a few shades lighter than her normal blonde color– it sort of leaned towards platinum blonde. The pink was a mix between the two colors Helga normally bought for her hair– Bodacious Bubblegum Pink and Nearly Neon Pink. Satisfied she went back to her room to see one Hilda Pataki sitting on her bed playing with Pink Chocolate with a pepperoni and extra cheese pizza pie on a large plate with one slice missing next to an opened big bottle of Sprite and dozens of chocolate wrappers on the floor.
All Helga could do was stare.
She didn't know what to address first.
Putting her priorities in order, Helga decided to deal with the Pink Chocolate issue first.
Hilda was plucking at the strings of Helga's maple pink and brown Fender Jag Stang guitar nicknamed Pink Chocolate, the guitar was her second oldest and was the only one out of her three guitars she had actually bought herself. Her rosewood red and white Fender Stratocaster USA named Cherry Swirl was a gift from Phoebe and Sid on her 14th birthday and her black Dreadnought Maple Ibanez V70— her only acoustic guitar— was given to her by her mother.
Pink Chocolate was making a horrible "twing" sound, instead of her normal "twang" sound, every time Hilda plucked a string and all Helga could do was grimace.
"Pixie?"
The small first grader looked up at her sister with an innocent smile. "Hello."
"I'm just going to take a wild guess here and say that you were just checking to see if Pink Chocolate was in tune." Helga asked with one raised eyebrow. Ever since the beginning of the summer, checking was Hilda's excuse every time Helga found her trying to play her guitar.
Hilda nodded vigorously.
Helga rolled her eyes and went to go pick up Noir, the black Ibanez, and sat down next to Hilda on her bed. She placed Hilda's small hands and fingers in the proper position before her own hands held her guitar in the same exact way, something that just happened automatically. "Let me show you some techniques on how to check for the proper tune."
(Y/L)
On Monday morning, by the time sixth period rolled around, Helga was used to the stares everyone was giving her and her hair.
You would think by now they would be used to me dying my hair.
Helga took her usually seat and waited for Phoebe to arrive from her French class and Sid to come from his locker.
Phoebe from the right entrance of the cafeteria and Sid from the left.
Almost as if by cue, Helga could see the doors on the left and right doors of cafeteria open to reveal her two friends as they walked across the cafeteria to throw down their books on the table before they both ceremoniously plopped themselves down in their appropriate chairs.
It did not take long for Sid, who was known by many as 'The Bottomless Iron Stomach', to notice that Helga did not have a lunch tray in front of her. "You on some diet?"
Helga shook her head no. "I just don't want to find out what's in the Monday Surprise... somehow I'm sure it's probably grade D meat mixed with some gym mat stuffing for extra flavor."
Phoebe wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Sounds absolutely appetizing."
"Doesn't it? So I'm guessing today's a vending machine day. Eh?"
"Since you're such a genius, Mr. Gifaldi," Helga took out her wallet and held out three dollars in front of Sid's face. "Can you buy me a can of cream soda, a bag of sour-cream and onion chips, a chocolate bar, and some chocolate chip cookies?"
Sid took the money without a single smarmy comment, he simple stood up before turning to address the other female sitting at the table. "Any request from you Miss. Phoebe?"
"Actually yes. I want two bags of chips, doesn't matter what kind, three packs of cookies, and water." She handed Sid some money. "That should about cover it."
Sid looked at Phoebe for a moment or two before he left the tables to go to the long line in front of the vending machines, knowing that his status in the school and town would prove very advantageous today.
"I'm so glad you're having such a healthy lunch Pheebs." Helga said as Sid walked away.
Phoebe rolled her eyes. "What can I say, I'm watching my girlish figure... plus I didn't have breakfast and missed the freaking bus."
"Then how'd you get to school on time?"
Phoebe dug into her pockets and pulled out a keychain with the Ferrari insignia on it. "I decided that using my mom's car wouldn't be such a bad alternative… I'm pretty sure she won't notice that I did anyway, so it's a win, win situation for me."
"Nice, what color?"
"Strawberry red... I swear that she's obsessed with that color. When she had her non-mid-life crisis she almost dyed her hair that color."
Helga simply raised an eyebrow before she actually opened her mouth to say something. "I don't really know how to respond to that so I'm going to use the ever so famous option and say, hmm."
"Why do I even bother?"
Helga pouted and winked at Phoebe. "Because I'm so darn unbelievably lovable."
"Some how, I don't quite think that's the answer I'm looking for."
"Whatever. Do you realize what tomorrow is, Pheebsie?"
Phoebe rolled her eyes knowing exactly what tomorrow was, but decided to play dumb. "No. Enlighten me."
"It's our eleventh anniversary of being friends."
"I suppose that's supposed to make me happy, yet somehow, I can't help but feel very depressed that I can't find a replacement for you… especially after eleven years of torture. Whelp, there is always next year."
"Shut up and say something positive."
"You realize that's an oxymoron right? How exactly does one shut up and say something at the same time?"
"Y'know what, eff this, I'm trading you in for a better model and getting me a new best friend."
Phoebe raised an eyebrow. "For what? A Phoebe v2.0? That is definitely not as good as the original."
"No, of course it's not...but the Millennium Phoebe v3.0 is. I hear it even gives you the answers for a test three days before you take it."
"Why that is simply ridiculo–"
Phoebe stopped in mid sentence when she was bumped from behind when a person walked past her chair. Both Helga and Phoebe turned around to see Lila, Kamelia, Kaylia, Rhonda, and Nadine standing there.
Kamelia glared at Phoebe, who glared right back. The two females had never liked each other, especially after junior high. "You need to watch where you're going Heyerahld."
"The name is Heyerdahl and I wasn't the person to bump into someone else."
"Listen you snub nosed, short little bitc–"
Helga stood up from her chair and stood at her full height to look down at Kamelia. "Short little what? I dare you to finish that fucking sentence Alba."
Lila snorted. "And what will you do if she does?"
Phoebe pinched the bridge of her nose, looking at the underlying disaster that was just waiting to explode. "Helgs this isn't really necessary."
"No, no, Heyerdahl," Rhonda said, one out of the only two in The Fabulous Five knowing how to actually say Phoebe's last name right... after all they had been stuck in the same classes since preschool. "I would like to see what Pataki is going to do."
Phoebe looked at Helga's gleeful face, with her blue eyes already highlighted in what Phoebe had dubbed combat mode, and Phoebe immediately gave up, she knew Helga G. Pataki was not going to let this opportunity simple float away… so Phoebe G Heyerdahl did the only thing she could do in this type of situation.
She gave Helga her blessings.
"Helga go ahead, have a ball." With a deep sigh Phoebe settled in her seat, just waiting for the real show to begin. She could already see the other people in the cafeteria taking a highlighted interest in the happenings around the Pataki-Gifaldi-Heyerdahl table, it didn't take a quantum physicist to figure out why.
"You really wanna see, huh? Well maybe I shouldn't..." Helga paused for a moment.
Lila looked smug. "So you ain't gonna defend the–"
Helga's right fist landed dead on Lila's nose, sending the cheerleader reeling backwards into her friends. Helga smiled smugly as she saw the red head test out her now broken nose. "...And maybe I should... I've been waiting a long time to do that."
Lila screeched and ran at Helga with her hands stretched out in front of her. As Helga and Lila fought, Rhonda, Kamelia, Kaylia, and Nadine watched in horror, while Phoebe rested her head on her fist with a very subtle smirk on her face. It was just like they were back in junior high, there was no need for Phoebe to step in, after all the trouble Helga got herself into back in those days, there was one thing Helga learned from those days long past, and that was how to handle herself when it came to a fight. A crowd gathered around and made a circle around them, calling out, "Cat fight!", "Beat her up, Pataki!", or what seemed be the most popular with the crowd, "Go Lila!"
The onlookers were either shocked, upset, nonchalant, or amused. Shocked, because of the violence displayed by the perfect Lila Sawyer. Upset, because Lila Sawyer, one of the most popular girls in the school, was getting beat up by Helga Pataki, a nobody. Nonchalant, because it was well known that neither Helga or Lila liked it each other and it was only time before they actually got involved in a physical fight. Amused, because while Lila slapped and scratched at Helga, Helga was swinging at Lila with her left and right fists.
Sid fought through the crowd and dropped the lunch he had just bought for Helga, Phoebe, and himself. He quickly grabbed Helga and pulled her away from Lila. Unfortunately, no one was there to grab Lila, which led to the red head smacking Helga across the cheek, leaving four gashed along the blonde's cheek. Helga touched her right cheek and once she saw blood on her fingers she tried to lunge for Lila, but Sid had too much of a hold on her.
Finally, Arnold, along with Gerald, Harold, and Wolfgang pushed through the crowd. Arnold pulled Lila to the opposite side of the circle and kept a hold on her arms as she tried to lunge for Helga. It was obvious to everyone in the crowd that Helga was victorious in the fight. Sure, she had scratches along her arms, neck, and face, but Lila had a bleeding nose, a busted lip, and then there was the fact that she would be sporting two black eyes very soon.
Helga smiled. "Sid, if you let me go and let me finish off what they started, I'll buy you lunch for the rest of the school year."
Sid hugged Helga around the waist and rested his head on her shoulder. "As tempting as that is, I can't. You'll get expelled and where would I find my entertainment?"
"What's going on here?" Principal McNielson shouted as he made his way through the crowd. Once he took a look at Helga and Lila, his cheeks turned tomato red in annoyance. "You two, in my office now! Gifaldi and Linshaw, escort them!"
(Y/L)
Helga played with her nails as Principal McNielson took his time to reprimand her and Lila. She actually didn't care, while Lila played the innocent and nervous card, nodding in agreement with whatever McNielson said, as if she were some type of marionette or dummy— although Helga was inclined to want to believe this assumption, Helga knew how devious the red head was, in other words, she was no dummy. Helga, on the other hand, had been in this type of situation one too many times in junior high to care. Back in junior high, she got into fights frequently and always forced to visit the vice-principal, who at the time was McNielson before he got promoted to the position of principal at Crinshaw High School.
The seating arrangement was Lila, Arnold, Sid, and then Helga. That way, if either female decided to attack the other, there would be at least two people there to stop them. Too bad Helga didn't care to attack; she already did her damage, and she was currently smirking at her lovely artwork. She especially enjoyed looking at the areas where two black eyes would form by morning time.
"And what is that smirk about Pataki! Liking how you're reliving junior high missy!" McNielson shouted with his cheeks flaring out as if it were a squirrel's cheeks full of chestnuts, a squirrel with very red cheeks of course.
"Now, now, now, McNielly, remember how close pals we were back then? I look back to those memories fondly with a smile."
"Well, I'm sure you won't be smiling about this–"
Mr. McNielson was cut off by the sound of George Michael singing, I Want Your Sex.
It was Helga's phone ringing.
Helga held her palm. "Hold that thought McNielly," The blonde made no hesitation about picking up her phone. "Hey Ian. I'm about to be suspended because I got into a fight." Pause. "Yup, just like junior high! I know, can you believe it?" Pause. "No, I'm not joking…really!" Another pause. "About two minutes." And yet another pause. "Good." Yea, and another pause. "Alright, bye love." Helga hung up her phone and placed it back onto its clip before she smiled at the extremely furious principal. "As you were saying."
Steam was ready to pour out of McNielson's ear. "You will be suspended for two weeks Pataki starting tomorrow, while Miss. Sawyer, who was probably aggravated into this violent act by you, no doubt, since she is such a upstanding, perfect–"
"Is this a sentencing or an awards ceremony? Because right about now I'm getting highly confused about the way this meeting is going."
Arnold looked over at Helga in shock at her amusingly nonchalant, but rather idiotic actions, as his girlfriend smirked, and Sid stifled a laugh. Even McNielson paused for a moment. "As I was saying. Miss. Sawyer will only have to serve four days of In School Suspension, starting tomorrow."
Helga shot up from her seat and stretched. "It's been real and all, but I've got places to go, facts to learn, and the like," She walked to the closed door, opened it, and then paused. "Oh and thanks." She walked out of the room to leave behind one bewildered principal, Lila Sawyer, and Arnold Linshaw, plus one amused best friend.
(Y/L)
The period following lunch was European History, in which Arnold, Gerald, Harold, Sid, Rhonda, Phoebe, Kamelia, Kaylia, and Nadine all had class together. But most importantly, so did Helga and Lila. Everyone expected a round two of the fight. To everyone's shock, Helga had not shown up when the late bell rang. Five minutes passed and everyone's eyes stayed glued to the front door, just waiting for Helga Pataki to stride in. No one listened to Mr. Q's lesson. Ten minutes later and everyone's attention drifted. Lila's clique smiled, sans Lila, who was at a hospital at the time, were all of them telling people in the class that Helga and Phoebe, who was also conveniently missing, were both too afraid to show up to class.
About fifteen minutes into seventh period, a girl sitting by the window noticed something. The history class was situated on the second floor and was facing the student's parking lot of the school. The girl saw a motorcycle pull up into the parking lot and a girl leaning on the school building, pulled off her hat to reveal her pink hair. The girl immediately knew who the other girl was, after all, who else in the school had pink hair.
When she immediately announced her finding to the class, everyone's attention turned to the door before they realized the girl was pointing out the window. There was a mad and noisy rush to the window, as everyone went to see what exactly Helga Pataki was up to. And there she was, leaning on the school building with a cabbie hat in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other.
The guy got off his motorcycle and walked over to where Helga was standing before he took of his helmet and handed it to her. Some of the female's mouths dropped in the classroom as they stared at the tall brown-haired male.
"Who is that guy and why the hell is he talking to Pataki?" Kaylia mumbled to the rest of her friends.
Rhonda tried to read their lips, but failed. "I just wish I knew what they were talking about."
Helga threw the cigarette to the ground and stubbed it out with the heel of her sneakers.
Ian smiled. "Good girl. Those things are very bad for your health."
"Riight. This coming from a guy who smokes almost constantly at any given mood on any given day. Hey, I only smoke when I'm extremely pissed, emotional, or stressed."
Ian pouted. "Yea, well. That's different. You're too young and beautiful to die."
"Right since you're positively ancient at the age of eighteen."
"Shut up. Just be glad I've got nothing to do today and could pick you up. No wonder you left me that two second message on my voicemail. 'Call me back in five minutes, Ian. You'll know what to do when you talk to me'. Did you at least beat up this girl?"
Helga smiled widely. "Two black eyes, a bleeding nose that is hopefully going to be crooked, and a busted lip."
Ian hugged Helga before he slipped an arm around her waist. "Good girl. Now let's go... Your chauffeur awaits."
"Hopefully not without me." A voice called from the right. Helga and Ian looked to see Phoebe standing there with her arms crossed over her chest.
"Of course not Miss. Heyerdahl, but unfortunately, I cannot provide a ride for you."
"No problem Dorian," Phoebe pulled out the keys to her mother's Ferrari and clicked a button. The driver's door of a strawberry red Ferrari flew upwards. "I've got my own."
Ian looked down at Helga. "I think I might want to catch a ride with her."
"Go ahead, your bike is in good hands."
"Never mind. Phoebe, we're heading to Sal's, hope you can keep up."
Phoebe snorted as she walked towards the car. "No, no. I hope you can keep up."
From the second floor of Crinshaw High School, the remainder of The Fabulous Five looked on in anger as they watched Helga moved towards the stranger's bike and Phoebe walk over to a nice Ferrari. Finally, Kamelia, the leader in Lila's absence, opened the window and yelled down to Helga, "Where you going Pataki? Afraid?"
Helga stopped in mid-step and pivoted on her right foot. She smiled up at her bitter enemy. "Yes. I am afraid... very afraid." She said in a serious tone.
People looked at Helga in shock, while Kamelia smirked. "Really."
"Really. I am afraid... of what I might do to you. You see, if I ever got into a fight with you or any of your clique again, you'd be leaving school in an ambulance and I'd be leaving in handcuffs and a police car. And, although handcuffs are the 'in' accessory these days, I really don't want to spend the night in jail."
Ian cleared his throat. "Again."
Helga turned and glared at the tall brunette. "You, shut up."
Ian raised his hands up in defense. "Shutting up."
"Bye Alba, tell Lila that I hope she enjoys ISS while I get a mini vacation."
"Fuck you Pataki!"
Helga said nothing as she walked to Ian's bike. Her two raised middle fingers on her hands said it all, as she raised her hands into the air, not bothering to look back. Helga put on the dark blue helmet, as she and Ian got onto the bike. Phoebe was already in her car with the engine started, she was just waiting for Ian and Helga. Ian started the bike's engine and kicked up its stand before he sped out of the parking lot with Helga laughing as she held onto his waist, and Phoebe purposely skidding her tires loudly as the turned out the school's parking lot.
(Y/L)
I do not own Hey Arnold! I just realized a boo boo I made in the first chapter... Hilda is actually in 1st grade and I will be changing chapter one later on. Thank you Smoking Panda, Thea, Linda, Cayin-Moonchild, BellaMay76, Justin T. Melanson, XxXCocoPuffXxX, Naisha, and Sanalicious for he fantastic reviews.
PS:
Linda, thank you for the corrections. I will get to them as soon as I can. Believe it or not Chapter 5 is very much so connected to Chapter 6, but it's not going to be very obvious until maybe Chapter 8 or 9. And the Gerald, Phoebe thing will be explained. I try to be careful, but unfortunately, because I edit my own work I tend to overlook things by mistake.
Thea, believe it or not, smoking actually has a hidden role and is actually necessary.
Justin T. Melanson, you know, this whole tapping into my mind thing, is just not working out for me. While you have not hit the nail on the head perfectly, you're pretty close. Do my the favor and stop tapping into that 90 percent. If not, to stop yourself from accidently discovering what the end is and telling the audience, but to let me keep my sanity in check (even though it's already out of check).
Click the shiny review button, it likes to be clicked. C'mon it won't hurt... much... let's just say it will hurt you more than it will hurt me...
S.L. Cipher (Who will gladly accept all criticisms, advice, reviews, praises, and flames with a large Cheshire Cat like smile just because Cheshire Cat like smiles are very fun)
Published: Non so...
Edited: 7 22 05
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