Rina: Well…this is where the Bount Arc comes in but it was really boring
Mika: Not to mention all of the Bount except for Yoshino were ugly
Tori: Yeah but their dolls were cool…why did they call them dolls?
Rina: Who knows, anyways you guys all know episode 1 well we're gonna play it and stop it when we want to, to point some stuff out
[Insert Asterix by ORANGE RANGE here]
Ok, so we see these thugs messing around with Ichigo. The ugly guy in the front tries to land a blow on Ichigo but is instead owned by Ichigo. So he's stomping away on this guy's head—killing a lot of brain cells—he gets mad and yells at them: "What is that?!" and points to a vase of flowers toppled over. The guy in the middle answers him somewhat confidently for a so called gangster. Amazingly he's right and gets Ichigo's foot in his face. Then he kicks the other two down, then threatens them.
Tori: Ichigo has a thing for flowers doesn't he?
Mika: I dunno, let's ask him!
--POOF!--
Ichigo: Where the hell am I?
Tori: You're in the office, we're supposed to be working but oh well. Anyways, you see this clip up here? (Points)
Ichigo: Yeah, what of it?
Rina: Play it!! (Clip rolls, shows him beating the guys up over the flower epidemic)
Mika: This is an important question, do you like flowers?
Ichigo: Uh…yeah I guess…
Tori: CONFESSION!!
Ichigo: Can I go home now?
Mika: No, we have more questions
So a ghost of this girl appears and thanks him for his actions. He leaves with a 'hurry up and go to heaven' and suddenly it's really dark, like 2 seconds after he says that. He opens the door to his house and gets owned by his whacko dad.
Mika: Isn't that child abuse?
Ichigo: Tell that to him!
Tori: Hey, how are you two floating in the air, fighting?
Ichigo: I dunno…we just are
Rina: Your sisters look nothing like you…
Ichigo: How so?
Rina: ... (No resemblance)
Tori: Your sisters have common sense and you don't, uh…they don't fight with their father…
Ichigo: Hey he started it!
Mika: …How can you go through a day without dinner?!
Ichigo: Easy, I have a stash of Pocky under my pillow
All 3: OHH…
--Next day--
Mika: You have a frickin clean house you know!
Ichigo: I hafta thank Yuzu for that; she does the housework for us
Rina: But you and your dad don't?
Ichigo: Hey I have to deal with hollows ya know!!
Tori: Sure whatever, you're just putting Afro-san out of business—not like he does do anything
Ichigo: Why are you guys showing the one episode where I don't have any powers?
Rina: We're just seeing if shinigami powers really make you stronger and less of a pansy
Ichigo: …
(Ichigo running with the girl from the caterpillar-looking hollow then suddenly…)
Mika: Woohoo!! RUKIA!! She could so be a seated officer
Tori: Yeah, but since Byakuya is so overprotective he won't let her become one…Rina!!!
Rina: It's not my problem!! Besides I'm sure Rukia is fine being an unseated officer—she has a lot more freedom and doesn't have to do any crappy paperwork.
Ichigo: …I was saved by a girl…
Mika: It happens a lot to you so don't act surprised.
It's now nighttime and it's another full moon…A hell butterfly flies into his room which surprises him somehow. Then Rukia comes out of his wall.
Ichigo: That's breaking in and entering!!
Rukia: So what?! I can come and go as I please!!
Ichigo: Rukia? What are you doing here?
Rukia: Just seeing how pathetic you were until I came around
Ichigo: HEY!!
Mika: You know, you shouldn't talk to yourself Ichigo…and Rukia…
Rukia: I didn't know he could see me!
Ichigo: You have a problem with people talking to themselves?
Rukia: Well actually it looks like you're yelling to yourself so people would think you're mentally retarded or something
Ichigo: Can I leave?
All 4: NO!
(Ichigo kicks Rukia down from behind leaving a loud crashing noise.)
Rukia: So rude!!
Ichigo: You ignored me!!
Renji: Would you guys keep it down?!
All: SORRY!!
Renji: Hey whatcha watching?
Rukia: We're watching Ichigo get owned by me (shows Rukia kicking Ichigo down)
Renji: I am so watching this!
Mika: There never was that round table in your room…was there? (Little table flipped over by Ichigo's insanity)
Ichigo: No…
Renji: Then how'd it get there?
Ichigo: …it walked
Rina: Tables can't walk
Ichigo: Well this one can!!
Rukia is offended by the fact Ichigo doesn't believe in the shinigami (everybody stares at him in the room) He then says he doesn't believe in things he can't see, but he can see Rukia which totally messes up his theory.
Rina: Why do you have a guitar in your room if you don't play?
Ichigo: It's Chad's
Rina: Right…
Rukia puts Ichigo under Bakudou after he calls her a stupid brat (evil glares at Ichigo) He gets sent straight to the ground unable to move.
Rukia: That's what you get for calling me a stupid brat!
Rukia draws her sword and swings it down, thinking that she was going to harm him (Ichigo) he clenches his eyes shut. A little 'dup' sound is heard and Ichigo opens his eyes to see that ghost that was following him.
Ichigo: Oh sure, act nicely to the ghost but not me!!
The ghost guy--person…is led to Soul Society, and another butterfly flutters out of Ichigo's room. Rukia then pulls out a sketch book so Ichigo could follow along—easily.
Ichigo: Your crappy drawings haven't improved at all have they?
Rukia: Shut up!! I've never seen YOUR drawings before so you have no right to criticize!!
Renji: You know it's true Ichigo
Mika: I for one like Rukia's drawings!!
Rina: Yeah, who doesn't like bunnies?!
Rukia is shown drawing on Ichigo's face with a permanent marker—a moustache.
Tori: Crappy drawings my ass!! That moustache was pro!
Rukia: Told ya so!!
Ichigo: Why is everyone against me?
A howl of a hollow is heard which clearly alerts the two. They hear a loud crash and a scream, not long after that Yuzu comes staggering into Ichigo's room. She tells him to save Karin who is in danger before passing out. Rukia runs ahead while leaving Ichigo behind. Ichigo has no choice but to get up and fall down the stairs. A huge ugly hollow is seen with Karin clutched in his hand. Ichigo catches sight of it and tries to break out of the Bakudou even though Rukia warned him not to. Somehow though, he managed to break free.
Renji: You just gave Bakudou #1 a bad name
Ichigo: And you call it 'Demon Arts' psh, yeah right!
Ichigo grabs the steel stool to fight against the hollow—STOP!!!
Rina: Here you are fighting this 10 ft. tall monster and all you can grab to save your sister is…a stool…
Ichigo: It's steel!
Rina: True but…
Ichigo: Hey it's foldable too!!
Rukia: What does that have to do with anything?
Renji: Couldn't you have grabbed something more weapon-like?
Mika: Like a knife?
Tori: Or a spoon?
--Everyone is speechless from the spoon remark from Tori--
Ichigo: A spoon?
Tori: Yeah, I saw bunnies use them and they worked!!
Rukia: Bunnies? Where?! (Her 'bunny-senses' are tingling if anybody is wondering)
Renji: Not now Rukia!
Ichigo: I was in a hurry! You expected me to go to the drawers and scavenge for a knife?
Renji: Actually, yes
Well obviously the stool didn't work against the hollow as it merely knocked him aside. Even if it was steel, it had no effect. Rukia had to save him again in order for him to get his sister. She assures him that Karin's and Yuzu's souls weren't eaten by the hollow. She goes on explaining that both hollows were looking for the same soul. It turned out to be Ichigo's soul.
Mika: GUILT TRIP!!
Ichigo gets in front of Rukia and offers his own soul to the hollow. Rukia calls him an idiot and runs forward to save him—again. Rukia was injured because of his recklessness but she was able to disable the hollow for a moment.
Rukia: That's 3 times in 1 episode I've saved your butt…you're in debt!!!
Ichigo: I paid you back by saving you!!
Rukia: Yeah but you endangered my life—remember when you THREW me down towards Renji?
Ichigo: Yeah but he caught you so no harm done!!
Rukia: No harm done? I thought I was gonna die!!!
Ichigo: Well you didn't…
--While these two argue, let's continue…--
The hollow started to stomp over to Rukia and Ichigo. Ichigo accepted the offer from Rukia—becoming a shinigami. He thrust her zanpakutou through his heart; suddenly the hollow's arm was chopped off. Ichigo is then seen with a shihakushou, and a huge zanpakutou.
Tori: Here's living proof that Rukia DIDN'T deserve the execution punishment!!
Mika: Yeah…if only SOME PEOPLE (looks out of the door, people duck) had believed us…
Renji: Well the justice system is quite messed up here
Rina: You can tell me that…how long are those two gonna argue? This is the, I guess 'cool' part of the episode.
Renji: I have no idea…its Ichigo's loss if he misses out on his part.
Ichigo chops off the hollow's leg so now it only has its left arm and right leg. That must be really hard to balance on. He gave one final slash at the hollow, purifying it.
Renji: Hey you guys stopped yelling at each other!! Too bad the episode finished
Ichigo & Rukia: WHAT?!
Nobody knows who I really am
Ichigo & Rukia: DAMMIT!!
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along
Who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong?
Tabi wa mada tsuzuiteku
Odayaka na hi mo
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de
Mune o terashi desu
Inori o sasagete
Atarashii hi o matsu
Azayaka ni hikaru umi
Sono hate made…
Ichigo: Does this mean I can go home now?
Rukia: You just ruined a perfectly good song!!
Ichigo: What are you talking about? It ended!
Rukia: (sigh) You are so dense…
Mika: Ah fine whatever, go home…
Ichigo: OK! How do I get home?
Renji: You use that gate we opened up for you last time (The one that the whole group thought was a lot easier to go through)
Ichigo: There is no way I am gonna run through that homicidal tunnel of yours!!
Rina: Ok then, you can live here as long as you like then…
Ichigo: You're kidding right?
Tori: Nope, that's the only way back
Ichigo: Aww…
Ichigo decides to use the 'homicidal tunnel' since he had to go home, after all he 'poofed' out of school suddenly.
Renji: Well let's hope that Koutotsu doesn't decide to show up.
Renji's words had somehow jinxed Ichigo as he was running really fast to escape Koutotsu. "WHY DOES EVERYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO ME?!"