How Will I Know

Disclaimer: Guess what I'll say here. Go on, guess!

Okay, here's the fill-in: InuYasha fought, and was badly beat up, almost to the point of dying, even the wolf thought he was dead, but Kagome saved him at the last second from being eaten: she thought InuYasha was dead, and in her grief and rage shoulder-slammed the wolf. As the wolf turned on her InuYasha grabbed it by the throat and killed it with a new demon-power, Dark Wind Blade. Anyway, it died, and now he's standing there, grievously injured.

Chapter 20: Healing

Demon InuYasha stood, panting a mere five feet from Kagome, who sat on her hands and knees behind him. Tears filled her eyes as she watched his blood fall from the many cuts he'd received. She gave a sudden sob, and InuYasha spun to her, his arm raised as if to attack. It froze in midair, and he began shaking his head, fighting himself.

"InuYasha…" Kagome smiled, just happy that he was alive. She slowly stood, wobbly on her feet, and walked towards him. He began speaking, but it came out as more of a snarl.

"Get… Away from me… Kagome." Kagome hesitated a second, then ran forward, hugging him for all she was worth. Just when she'd ran, InuYasha had let his claws fall, but they only swiped the air behind her. InuYasha was struggling with himself; his claws were slowly coming up on either side of Kagome. She glanced around her from InuYasha's chest and realized he hadn't changed back yet. She looked up into his eyes, crying. He was looking straight at her, and when she held his gaze he was able to stop moving his claws to attack, but he couldn't lower them.

Kagome shook away the tears stubbornly, and her memory stirred the last time she'd faced him like this. He'd been under a spell then, and if a kiss could break the spell, it could most certainly break this. She placed her lips on his, remembering every time they'd ever kissed, from Kaguya's castle to what seemed like days ago but was only earlier that very day. She felt InuYasha's arms close around her and his lips return the kiss, and she sighed with relief. When InuYasha stopped kissing her, she backed up a step, but soon moved in again; InuYasha passed out from blood loss and his injuries. They were too much for his normal self.

Although he'd begun healing, his wounds were many and serious. Kagome somehow supported his weight and laid him down gently on the battle field. She walked over to Tessaiga, which was still planted in the ground, and pulled it up easily. She returned it to its sheath on InuYasha's side, and began to wonder what to do next.

A half-hour later, Kagome had found a deserted hut down the road. She was too far from anywhere to get help; they were at least miles away from Mushin's temple, and she couldn't afford to leave InuYasha now. She was staggering along the road, carrying InuYasha on her back much in the way he carried her, and walking as smoothly as she could. He wasn't as heavy as she'd thought, but he was still heavy enough to tire her out. Soon enough, and without stopping once, she reached the hut, and set InuYasha against the wall inside. She laid out a mat over the dirt floor, and then put her own over it. Next, she eased InuYasha onto it, and set him comfortably. She picked up a bucket that was in the corner of the hut, and went to search for water.

She returned with water, and had kept track of all the herbs she'd seen on the way to it; right now, though, InuYasha's wounds needed cleansing. She took out a rag from her backpack, and after delicately pulling off InuYasha's torn and shredded shirt, she began dabbing the wounds and examining them.

After she'd cleaned off most of the blood and dirt and applied pressure to the wounds that still bled, she'd come to a general overview that she wasn't all pleased with. She'd even worked off his pants after she'd found he was wearing an underwear-sort of garment, and attended to all the injuries on his legs. Now was no time to be embarrassed or modest. Her analysis of his injuries was as follows:

He had deep gashes across his chest, one across his back, and his sides were torn through. There were four holes completely through his stomach, but they were small. His legs were covered in cuts, but most of the gashes were not that deep. There was one that cut the tendon that enabled him to move his right leg, and she wondered how he had. His arms' muscle had been torn and shredded by the small, bruising fangs, and at least three of his ribs were broken. She hadn't been able to find a spot on him (with the exception of where she DIDN'T look) that wasn't bruised, moderately or severely. After the wounds were all dirt free and done bleeding, she stood and went to get clean water and herbs.

When Kagome returned, she applied the herbs in the salve she'd made, and wrapped up InuYasha's torso and limbs. She laid a blanket over him, and after making sure he was as comfortable as possible, cried.

She'd been holding back the whole time, necessity over her own feelings, and now she couldn't do anymore for him and felt so helpless. She wanted him to be alright. How she wished he could be healthy! They would probably be sitting somewhere right now, watching the sunset, and maybe kissing. Kagome put her head in her hands and cried. She didn't know how long she cried, but eventually she lifted her head and moved over to InuYasha. She sat right by his face, which was mostly fine. He had bruises, but his hair covered them, and only several small scrapes along his jaw made his face look imperfect. She gazed at his face, praying he'd be alright, and checked to see if his breathing was still steady. It was, and his pulse was alright as well. Suddenly, a tear fell off her cheek and onto his face.

As Kagome watched, InuYasha's eyes flinched, then opened slowly. He saw Kagome, and another tear landed on his face. He reached up to brush away the tears, but Kagome could tell the effort it cost him, and held his hand up to her face. He smiled, and Kagome's heart nearly broke in two. He's trying to comfort me…

"Kagome… I… I'm sorry…"

"InuYasha!" Kagome cried, his voice was so weak. "InuYasha, it's alright. Don't worry about me but… don't leave me! I was so afraid, when you were demon, you couldn't hear my voice. I felt like you were lost from me, and I didn't know if I'd ever see you again. I love you, InuYasha! Please don't leave me!" Kagome cautiously threw herself at InuYasha, taking care not to aggravate his wounds, and hugged him. He lifted his arms slowly, and hugged her back.

"Kagome, I'm so sorry for doing this to you." He tightened his grip around her and involuntarily shivered. Kagome felt it and tried to pull away to lessen his strain, but he held her tight.

"Kagome, I love you too." She began crying again, this time softer. "I won't leave you. Have a little confidence?" He asked, trying to joke. Kagome smiled at him, and he lifted his head to kiss her. When he lowered his head he took in the surroundings for the first time.

"Where am I? How did I get here?" Kagome blushed and sat up.

"I carried you here, it's a deserted hut."

"You…carried me?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"I don't know, I just needed to, so I did." Kagome wanted to look away, but she couldn't; she felt that if she looked away from InuYasha he would vanish. Instead, she took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Thank You Kagome."

"You should rest, InuYasha."

"Alright. Goodnight, my Kagome." InuYasha immediately fell into an unconscious sleep, exhausted. The minute of conversation had sapped his strength greatly, far worse than he wanted to believe. Kagome held his hand, reassuring herself that InuYasha would be alright. She looked at the salve she'd made from the herbs, and it was only enough for one more bandage change. I'll have to get some more…First I'll need some of that plant, then… As she thought, she stood and gathered the bucket with clean water. She washed her face, and decided to fill it again.

The water was no more than twenty feet off to the right side of the hut. It was a clear pond with a gravelly bottom, and at the base of a short, eight-foot waterfall that fell away from the small cliff. It flowed off into a clear stream, and was about thirty feet across and no more than five feet deep. It would have fascinated Kagome, but in her worry, she never even noticed it. She made her way back inside with fresh herbs, and set some aside for a relaxing tea, that soothed muscles. The others, she put into a bowl and let them soak, slowly pulling them out to grind them and fill the salve bowl. After a short while, the sun set.

Kagome looked up as she suddenly heard InuYasha's breathing stutter in his sleep. His hair was turning black! As he turned human, his face contorted with the pain he could suddenly feel. He grimaced, and his breath shook, rattly. Kagome sat by helplessly, and prayed. When she finished with the salve and praying, Kagome sat by InuYasha, and held his hand.

"You can pull through this, InuYasha! We have so much left to do, like destroy Naraku, and free Kohaku. You can't leave. I'm sure you have unfinished business here, in this world. Please, InuYasha, you can do this. You'll make it."

The night passed this way, Kagome holding InuYasha's hand steadily, and talking to him, promising, hoping, comforting herself as well as the one who couldn't hear her words. She checked his breathing and pulse often, fearful that they would quit. She was terrified; more fearful than she'd ever been before. During one of these spells where she would pause to cry, it happened.

Kagome closed her eyes and let the tears run silently down her face.

"You can't leave me, InuYasha. I need you." She remained silent, then noticed InuYasha's breathing was steadying. She gasped and looked up, throwing a tear or two off her face with the swiftness of the movement. Wait… it wasn't steadying, it was thinning! InuYasha wasn't breathing! Kagome moved her hand over his mouth to check, then recalled all she knew about CPR. She checked his pulse, but it was still there, so she'd only have to get him breathing again.

Kagome moved so her face was over InuYasha's lifeless, breathless one, and lowered her lips to his after she steadied her own breath. She filled his lungs with air; she watched his chest rise, and lifted her mouth. The air was released, and his chest fell. Kagome hardly paused; she continued breathing for him for as long as she could, occasionally checking to see if he was breathing. After half an hour, he began breathing on his own. Kagome sat back, lightheaded, but relieved. His breath was still shallow and unsteady, but he was breathing. She returned to holding his hand, and after she caught her breath, began talking to no one in particular again.

After she'd changed his bandages again, she realized she applied excess salve, and there was only enough for two more bandagings. She considered going to get more, but she wouldn't leave InuYasha. Suddenly, she didn't hear his breath anymore. She prepared herself to breathe for him again, but when she held her hand over his mouth, she felt breath. It had steadied, and it was dawn.

Kagome sighed in relief, and dug through her backpack. She took out some ramen and a water heater. After a few minutes, InuYasha's condition had improved and the grimace had left his face; he was half-demon. He began to move, just slightly at first, but he opened his eyes. The ramen was cooking, and Kagome sat with her legs folded under her and her eyes closed. She felt something soft brush against her face, and realized it was InuYasha's hand. She reached for his hand and caught it as he let it fall. He smiled at her, and she held his hand over her heart.

"I smell ramen." Kagome smiled back at InuYasha.

"I'm glad to see you're feeling better. Do you think you can eat it?"

"Always." Kagome took the ramen off the cooker (a/n- for lack of a better word), and began feeding it to InuYasha, noodle by noodle. He clasped his hands together over his stomach in a relaxed gesture, and Kagome could tell he was enjoying the food. After she'd fed him the whole cup, she sat back, relaxing for the first time in about twenty hours.

"Can you si--- uh, move upright?" Although the spell word was good, it also had its setbacks. InuYasha grimaced, and tried to sit up. After a futile attempt, he relaxed.

"Nope. Guess not."

"Well, you need some water. After losing so much blood, you're dehydrated."

"Well, you could give me some."

"How?"

"Well, uh… you could… put it in your mouth and kiss me…, but there's probably a better way… like, just give me a little bit at a time from a spoon or something." InuYasha blushed a little, and sounded awkward. Kagome thought, not seeing any problem with his first idea, but there was an easier way. She dug through her backpack, hoping she'd packed one. She pulled out a small bowl and a tube of plastic that bent in the middle.

"This," she said, holding up the plastic, "is a straw. You put one end in your mouth, and the other end in whatever you want in your mouth, then suck on it." She filled the bowl with water and laid it next to InuYasha's head, placing one end of the straw in it and the other end in his mouth.

"Try it." He did, and was surprised then delighted as the cool water flowed into his mouth and down his dry throat.

"Kagome, you have some weird stuff in your time, but it's helpful. Can you refill the bowl?" It was already too empty for the straw to pick up anything more, and Kagome refilled it gladly while InuYasha played with the straw, spinning it with his mouth. By the time his thirst was quenched, there was only half the water bucket left. Kagome abruptly blushed a little, and InuYasha looked at her curiously.

"What?"

"I, uh… need to change your bandages again."

"Okay."

"Are you alright with that?"

"Fine."

"Seriously?"

"Yep."

"Okay, then." And Kagome got to work. She used the very last of the ointment, and after InuYasha fell into a sleep again, she set out to get more water and herbs. When she came back, InuYasha was sitting up with his head forward, and using Tessaiga to brace himself. His eyes were closed, but as Kagome entered his ears twitched.

"Kagome."

"Yeah?"

"How… how badly am I hurt?" InuYasha kept his eyes closed.

"Well, you're covered in gashes, you shouldn't be able to move your right leg, and you're bruised and have some broken ribs. I think that sums it up."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Kagome dropped the bucket and it thudded onto the floor, splashing a little.

"Making you worry, and leaving you alone. When I was demon, I could hear you just fine, I just didn't want to acknowledge you, or I might have let the wolf get me off guard. I can remember everything that happened when I was transformed; this time seemed different. I- I learned a new attack. I'm getting stronger as a demon. That shouldn't happen."

"It's alright, all of it. Don't worry, InuYasha. You make a great human, half demon, or demon." InuYasha looked up.

"I also remember- after the fight, I was bandaged, and you were crying. It was before I fell asleep all night. You said- you said you loved me."

"…Yes." InuYasha looked back at the floor, a smile at the corner of his mouth. He yawned, and flinched with the pain the movement caused him. Kagome was at his side in an instant.

"You need rest, lay back down."

"While I'm up though, may I have some water?" Kagome nodded, and tried to figure out how to get the water to InuYasha (she couldn't put the straw in the bucket). She didn't have a cup, so she settled for holding it in her cupped hands, using the blanket that covered half of InuYasha to catch the spill. InuYasha drank from her hands like a human, but his ears were right in Kagome's face as she lifted handful after handful to InuYasha's mouth. Soon, he was done, and laid back down slowly, cringing the whole way.

"You need a bow, one of your very own. Not just one we find or get from a villager. I'll make you one sometime." Kagome smiled.

"Right now you need to recover, InuYasha. Get some rest."

"Fine, alright… I'm going."

The rest of the day passed in sleep; Kagome even fell asleep around dusk, and both stayed asleep (almost) through the night.

In the morning, InuYasha woke and stretched. He immediately recoiled in pain, and looked around instead. Kagome was fast asleep next to him; she'd woken up once last night, he believed, to change his bandages again. The herb paste was really soothing, and he saw some other herbs that were generally used for a calming tea sitting on the floor. Well, can't hurt to make some of that, or maybe I'll let Kagome do it…He was once again pushed back by the pain and stiffness. He sat up gingerly and stretched each arm slowly, marveling at the pain it caused him to even twitch a finger. That was one heck of a little demon. InuYasha mused on this thought as he stretched. He tried to move his legs, but it was extremely difficult. The right one wouldn't move at all, and his left leg moved grudgingly. He managed to place his feet under him by using his arms to position them, and stood.

InuYasha held himself up for about a second before falling again. He felt his stomach wounds open, and placed his hand over them. After a while, he tried again. This time he stood for a full minute before trying to take a step and falling pitifully. Well, no walking for a little…maybe if I stretched more it would be easier. He stretched, but before he could try walking again, Kagome woke up.

"InuYasha! I'm sorry; I didn't mean to leave you alone."

"Don't worry, I got to stretch. Are you hungry?"

"Huh?"

"Idiot. I thought you forgot to feed yourself. Also, have you noticed you're covered in blood? You're arm's also been injured, and it looks swollen. You should take care of yourself better."

"You're lucky I'm just happy you're alive." Kagome pouted at InuYasha's newly acquired attitude, and set to work making the tea. After she'd had a few cup-fulls, she stood and picked up a towel from her backpack.

"I'm going to go take a bath, then. There's a pond only about twenty feet from the front door, but no spying, alright?"

"Fine."

Kagome swept outside, and InuYasha huffed and stared at the ceiling. After a little while, he heard a splash, and tried again to stand. He was wobbly on his feet, but with Tessaiga posing for his right leg, he managed to walk to the doorway. He looked down at himself, and saw only the bandages and his 'underwear'. He grinned and walked outside.

Kagome was scrubbing herself; InuYasha had been right, and when she'd looked, she was covered in blood and her arm was a little swollen. It had receded, though, just by being in the cool water. She stood in the shallows, mostly splashing the water little by little on herself. It was the beginning of spring, and the cold water was melted snow from high in the mountains; needless to say she was hesitant to go under. She occasionally glanced toward the hut, but stopped as there was no sign of InuYasha. Suddenly, a motion caught her eye.

Kagome spun, fearing a demon or a raider or someone meaning her harm; she was really quite vulnerable right now she realized. However, all she saw was a lone figure clad in bandages and a loincloth. Kagome dared not sit him for his injuries. Instead, she ran over to him, making sure he kept his gaze on the ground. She moved behind him, covering herself by being out of vision.

"InuYasha?! What are you doing out here? You're in no condition to walk!" Kagome placed her hand upon his arm, her other hand on his opposite shoulder. She tried to guide him back to the cabin, but he protested.

"Kagome, I need a bath too; and I came out when you're here NOT to be a pervert, but because I might need help."

"Need…" Kagome gulped, "help?"

"Don't worry, I probably won't." InuYasha held Tessaiga with one hand, and with his other, proceeded in taking off his bandages and, to Kagome's horror, his cloth. She jumped back and covered her eyes.

"InuYasha! You idiot! I still have to bathe, you know!"

"Yeah? Well, I ain't stopping you."

"Fine! Tell me when you're covered, and don't you dare look at me!"

"Alright, I'm in the water." Kagome moved a finger aside and saw InuYasha in the water facing away from her and submerged to his chest. She uncovered her eyes and glared at him and he looked back over his shoulder.

"InuYasha! Don't look, pervert!" He turned away, muttering boorishly. Kagome picked up her towel from the bank and wrapped it around herself. She ran lightly over to the waterfall and slipped behind it before removing her towel and laying it away from the water. She could see a distorted outline of InuYasha in the pond and watched him for a minute. He was gingerly scrubbing his arms, and had thrown Tessaiga to the bank, no longer needing it.

Kagome set about pulling some water out of the fine, flat waterfall, but this posed a dilemma. Whenever she put her hand, arm, leg, or anything in the way of the water, it would separate and reveal what it kept distorted. She eventually decided that she didn't care. Just as she finished her bath, InuYasha called to her. She stuck her head around the side of the waterfall and InuYasha was watching her.

"I-uh… need help with my back. I could get out of the water first and just sit on the bank though."

"Fine, do that, and put some pants on or something!" Kagome ducked back behind the waterfall to dry herself off. When she came out, InuYasha was standing not so far away watching her. She felt suddenly very self-conscious, until she remembered her towel was wrapped around her. InuYasha had on his 'underwear' and Kagome thought they kind of looked like a Speedo, if you used your imagination- a lot of it. She tore her eyes away from InuYasha's muscular figure after that and deeply berated herself. InuYasha found amusement in her blush, and couldn't resist teasing her.

"Geez, Kagome. You told ME not to be a pervert, but look at you! I think you're a bigger perv than I am." This only served to deepen her blush and earn himself a quick glare. InuYasha's grin widened as Kagome mumbled indistinctly at him. "What?"

"Go seat yourself by the water." Kagome said, and InuYasha could tell it wasn't what she'd said before. InuYasha complied to her request, humoring himself with this train of thought. Kagome pulled out a soft wet rag and began cleansing InuYasha's back. He'd been about to continue tormenting her, but instead he sighed and relaxed into her gentle strokes of cool, pacifying water. When Kagome had finished, the blush had left her face and she'd forgotten her current state of dress. Only when InuYasha spun to face her and then turned away after watching her for a bit did she realize her towel had slipped to around her waist. She grit her teeth as she held the towel to her and remained an optimist. At least he kept looking at my face.

InuYasha glanced back again to see Kagome stand up with the towel pulled tightly around her slender figure and her carrying the rag and bucket. InuYasha stood, but fell back down as he was once again hit by the pain and stiffness. Kagome turned around and immediately kneeled at his side, leaving the bucket forsaken.

"InuYasha, are you all right? Here, have some water…" Kagome scooped up some from the water and held it in her hands. InuYasha drank some and licked the rest out of the creases of her fingers. This sent shivers up Kagome's spine, but mostly reminded her of a dog.

"Do you want some more water?" She was already bringing up another hands-full, but InuYasha knocked it away. Instead, he grabbed her bare shoulders, and Kagome stood, pulling away by natural instinct to retaliate to pressure. When they were standing, InuYasha leaned forward and rested his head on Kagome's shoulder, tired from moving so much. His weight rested on her once again, and this time her legs buckled. InuYasha fell on top of her and needless to say they were in a very… suggestive position. Kagome was concerned for InuYasha first by common courtesy, but then turned her attention to the more pressing matter of moving. She tried to squirm out from under InuYasha, but he seemed to have fallen asleep again.

"Are you really asleep, or just doing that so you can rest your head on my chest?!"

"I'm asleep." Came the muffled reply.

"InuYasha! Get off!"

"Fine, fine…" InuYasha rolled over, wincing, then sat up; easier this time. Kagome followed him, and looked at him, insulted; yet, there was some sort of humor in her eyes.

"No more 'sleeping'. You ARE a bigger pervert than I am."

"So what if I am, there's not going to be another pervert on you at all ever, so enjoy it."

"Why won't there?"

"I'll scare him away." InuYasha grinned and flexed his claws and arm. Kagome smiled back, and helped him to his feet by pulling up on one arm. They made their way inside to take a break from all this 'excitement' and so Kagome could get dressed. InuYasha fell asleep as soon as he lay down, and Kagome donned her outfit. She sat by InuYasha's head, and once again wrapped him in bandages and balm. Kagome picked up his hand and held it in her own, running her thumb over his palm gently as the day wore on.

Hey--- yeah, really just looking for comments/suggestions here… so… yeah. I'll form my own opinion when you all tell me what it is. Good News! I decided to add most of the next chapter into this one, so also tell me if you like the longer chapters or the shorter ones, or a specific variation. Also, if this chapter seemed a bit--- nude, it's my fault for reasons other that I wrote it. I read Chobits today, just the first manga, and… well, yeah. Anyone who's read Chobits might know… I think it's a dirty dirty book; then again, I'm not exposed to many things. Curse this sheltered life! Or bless it, whatever, I don't know.