Akatsuki: Attack Of The Tobi
Why do I bother…?
Chapter 21: Demons in my head
"Ok… that 'Not sucking dick' seminar didn't go so well. AT ALL. But that's not important right now. I still have one big problem to take care of. I can't run a successful rebellion if Itachi's constantly distracted by Sasuke's attacks." The leader said. "Oh guys! I just remembered! I have a foolproof plan to attack Tobi! It's-" Itachi started. "ITACHII!!!" Sasuke yelled, attacking Itachi. Itachi punched him, throwing him out the window. "So what was that?" Kisame asked. "Oh… I forgot… Stupid Sasuke made me forget… and it was really good too…" Itachi said. "See!? That's what I'm talking about! Sasuke's constant attacks are keeping us down! That's why I'm going to MAKE THEM FRIENDS AGAIN!" The leader said. "Can't we just kill him and move on?" Itachi said. "NO. do it My way. 'cause I'm the leader. Yeah." The leader said. "Watch it yeah! 'Yeah' is my thing! …….. GIVE IT BACK!!" Deidara said. "I didn't take it! You never use it!" The leader said. "THAT'S NOT THE REAL DEIDARA!! GET HIM!!" Kisame roared. "HEY! I'm the leader here, I decide when we attack. ……… GET HIM!" The leader yelled. "AAAHHH!!! NOOO!! I'M DEIDARA!!!" Deidara yelled. "HE DIDN'T SAY IT AGAIN!! BOUND AND GAG HIM AND THROW HIM IN THE BASEMENT!!" Hidan yelled. "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Deidara said. "TAKE THAT!! HAHAHAHAHAHA…. Why do I feel like an Ass?" Kisame asked. "'CAUSE I'M THE REAL DEIDARA IDIOT!! YEAH!!" Deidara yelled through the door. "Oh god… sorry about that!" Kisame called. "Thank you. …………….wait… WHY AREN'T YOU OPENING THE DOOR!?" Deidara yelled, but no one heard him.
"Anyway… back to me. I have decided to make Itachi and Sasuke friends. Bring Sasuke in the back yard." The leader ordered. "He's already there." Sasori pointed out. "I'LL KILL HIM!!" Itachi yelled. "NO!! THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS IS TO MAKE YOU TWO FRIENDS!!! SO STAY PUT!" The leader grabbed Itachi's shoulder and made him sit down on the couch. "Anyway, Itachi. Can we trust you not to kill your brother when we lead you outside?" The leader asked. "NO." Itachi said, making it sound like it was obvious. "Of course not. Deidara- hey… WHERE IS HE!?" The leader was looking around. "I'M. IN HEEEEEEEERRRRREEEEE!!!!!" Deidara yelled. "WHY'S HE IN THERE!? GET HIM OUT YOU IDIOTS!!" The leader commanded. "But he's an imposter! He doesn't say 'yeah' after his sentences anymore!" Kisame said. "THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S BEEN UNDER SO MUCH STRESS LATELY, HE FORGOT TO!!" The leader yelled. "KISAME!! DO YOU REMEMBER WHERE YOU LAST LEFT SAMEHADA SINCE TOBI TOOK OVER!?" The leader asked. Kisame thought. "Uhm…. OH GOD!!!" Kisame yelled.
WITH RvB CAST
The red and Blue teams managed to fight their way to their own dimension, and went back to fighting each other. "Dude… what's this?" Church asked, holding up Samehada. "I don't know!! Some giant kitchen knife!" Tucker said. "Wait wait wait… I found a label. 'Property of Kisame Hoshigaki. If lost… please return it.' Kisame Hoshigaki… Hey… Isn't he that shark guy that used to be on our team?" Church said. "Dude, I'm not going back there, even if my life depended on it. It took us 5 months just to get back! I AIN'T GOING BACK." Tucker said. "Oh well… His problem now." Church threw Samehada into the basement. They heard a loud crash. "Ohhhhh crap…" Church muttered.
WITH AKATSUKI
"AW DAMMIT!!I LEFT IT AT BLUE BASE!!" Kisame yelled. "It's ok… you can get another sword!" Kakuzu said. "Yeah. I'm going back to Blue base to get Samehada back. Won't be back for a while. See ya!" Kisame waved and left. "Great. First Itachi, now Kisame. What next. YOU!?" The leader looked at Sasori. "Wait a minute… Where is Itachi- OH MY GOD!!" The leader saw Sasuke punching him in the face outside. "ARGGGG!!!" He yelled. "SASUKE!! STOP IT!! YOU'LL KILL HIM!!" Hidan and Kakuzu yelled, who were there, restraining him. 'THAT'S THE POINT!!" Sasuke yelled, trying to get free. "That's what I get for having IDIOTS as co-workers…" The leader said. Hidan and Kakuzu managed to tie Sasuke the way Deidara was in the basement. Wait… DEIDARA'S STILL IN THERE!! "HEEEEEY!!! HELP!!! I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!" Deidara called through the door. "YOU'LL SUFFER IN THERE IMPOSTER!" Zetsu said. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! I'M THE REAL DEAL!! LET ME OUT!!" Deidara yelled.
MEANWHILE, WITH ITACHI AND SASUKE
The leader placed Itachi on opposite chairs, on opposite sides of the room. "Ok. Sasuke, I want you to look straight into Itachi's eyes, and find the good in him. You too Itachi." The leader explained. "You're joking, right?" Itachi and Sasuke asked. "NO. NOW GET TO LOOKING!" The leader yelled. And so they did. After 5 minutes, Sasuke flinched. "What?" The leader asked. "I… I saw something move!" Sasuke said. "Really? Let me see!" The leader said, looking into Itachi's eyes. "HOLY CRAP!! THERE'S SOMETHING IN THERE!!" The leader yelled. "GUYS!! GET OVER HERE!! COME TAKE A LOOK AT THIS!!" The leader yelled. Everyone came in and gasped when they saw something in Itachi's eyes. Just then, Deidara burst through the door. "Oh Deidara! Where've you been? Sasori asked. "LOCKED IN THE BASEMENT!!" Deidara yelled, kicking Sasori in the crotch. "Anyway, what're we looking at?" Deidara looked at Itachi's eyes. "HOLY CRAP!! SOMETHING'S IN THERE!" Deidara yelled. "WHAT'S IN MY HEAD!?" Itachi yelled. "Guys…I hate to say this…But we're going to have to call…" The camera zoomed in on the leader's face for a dramatic effect. "The Tobi ANBU unit." The leader finished slowly. "A-are you sure?" Sasori asked, recovered from Deidara's kick. "Do you want to be the one to go into Itachi's head to see what's in there?" The leader questioned. "Yeah… let's call Tobi." Zetsu said.
TWO HOURS LATER…
"Tobis… I understand we had out… 'differences' in the past. But right now, we have to take care of a problem that affects both the rebellion and the Tobi empire." The leader said, sounding official. "There was a rebellion?" Tobi asked. "You mean you never heard of the remnants of Akatsuki rising up to destroy you!?" The leader asked. "No… why? Should we have?" Tobi asked again. "Ugh… nevermind… anyway,… I have developed a machine (somehow) that shrinks you down to microscopic size to go into Itachi's head and-" The leader started. "Woah, Woah woah… I'm not going to have a bunch Tobi's screwing around inside my head!!" Itachi said. "If you don't, you're going to die. It's a high chance that you have DEMONS in your head." The leader said. "Oh… in that case…WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR GET IN THERE." Itachi yelled. "As I was saying, you will go in Itachi's head and see whatever's inside and report back. We have attached camera's to your masks so that we can tell you were you're going. You are armed with state of the art weaponry in case you do find something in there. I can't believe I'm saying this but….good luck." The leader said.
All the Tobi's entered a big ship that will guide them through Itachi's body; after they entered the leader shrank them to microscopic size and placed them inside Itachi's ear. "Holy crap… Itachi don't you ever clean your ear there's earwax everywhere." The Tobi clone commented. "Oh shut up you stupid Tobi." Itachi said. As the Tobi clones ventured Itachi's mind, they showed that they were alive by commenting on Itachi's insides. "Itachi… you're blood is black. What happened? You drink Black food coloring or something?" A Tobi asked. "No It's black because I'm so evil." Itachi explained. "This is a pretty small brain…" Another Tobi commented. Itachi shook his head. One of the Tobis fell off the brain and into the stomach. "TOBI 4000!!! NOOOOOOO!!!" They cried. "AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" the Tobi screamed. "Don't worry. In a few days he'll be back." Itachi said, smirking. "Ewww… I don't think we want him back anymore…" a Tobi said. "ITACHI!! Quit killing the decoys!- I mean.. brave soldiers. Well... Anyway… see anything strange?" The leader said. "Well, other that the fact that the blood is black and the heart is a gaping black hole… I'd say everything's pretty- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" The Tobi yelled. Immediately, all the screens of the cameras went blank. But the sound was still on. They heard gunshots and screams. The occasional hissing noise and orders being given. Suddenly, a picture of a panda came on the screen. "Tenten…?" Hidan asked. "No, just a panda bear." The leader said.
They continued to hear screams and whatnot. The screen came back on, and showed a Tobi corpse being grabbed away by a dark figure. "ITACHI!! WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD!?" Sasori yelled. "I DON'T KNOW!! LOTS OF STUFF!!" Itachi said defensively. "Ok… If those are demons… I'm guessing that they've been there a while since they've gotton so strong… so it only makes sense to-" The leader looked at Itachi with a strange look. "What?" Itachi asked. . A little blood was leaking out of his ear. "Itachi ,you have a little… blood coming out of your ear." The leader said. "Oh thanks…" Itachi wiped the blood away, taking out a bloody Tobi mask. "O.o…" Was Itachi's expression. "………anyway… judging by how powerful they are, I'd say they've been there for about I don't know… 7 to 10 years?" The leader said. "That's around the time Itachi killed the Uchiha clan. So what you're saying is…" Sasuke started. "Itachi isn't evil… The demons are!" The leader finished. "WHAT!? NO!! I'M EVIL!! IT'S ME!! ALL ME!!" Itachi patted his chest. "Hmmm… I don't know… you've always had an 'innocent' look in your eye…" Sasori said. "Yeah… now that you mention it…" Deidara said. "Hey. I. Am evil. 100 percent evil!" Itachi said. "Anyway, back to the –OH MY GOD!!" The leader looked at the cameras, to find that the demons taking pictures of themselves with the cameras on the Tobi masks. "O.O…" was everyone's expression. "Holy god…" Deidara said. "ITACHI!! YOU ARE SERIOUSLY F$# UP IN THE HEAD MAN!!" Sasuke yelled. "Hi everyone- oh my god…. What the hell happened?" Kisame came in through the door. "We found out that Itachi's not evil. It's the demons in his head." Deidara said. "Hey! I'm 100 percent badass!!" Itachi said. "Admit it!! You're a goody two-shoes!" Sasori taunted. "Shut it Sasori!!" Itachi yelled. "Poor guy… anyway, I got Samehada back!" Kisame held up Samehada. "Whatever. If we don't get those demons out soon, Itachi will die in a few years…" The leader said. "NO!! I DON'T WANNA DIE YOUNG!!" Itachi whined. "We'll have to hire an expert exorcist. But Itachi…" The leader started. If we do get them out… you could lose…" The camera zooms in. "All you're inhumanity." The leader finished.
DUN DUN DUN!!!1!!!!!2!!!!
KISAME'S CORNER
KISAME: Well… this is a two-part chapter, so, look forward to part two. In fact, I'm surprised that you read this far! It's because of me huh? You know what? I KNEW that! I TOTALLY knew that you were REALLY reading because of-
KLUTZILLA01: HEY!! I'M YOUR GUEST!!
KISAME: Oh right… you're here… well, let me introduce you… Ladies and Gentlemen, Our surprise guest star is Klutzilla01, the Author of "Benders" or "Akatsuki Hunt" where our author appears. Well, her other stories are "Online Hacking". Be sure to check them out, while we answer questions. No wait… AFTER we answer questions. Yeah.
DEIDARA: SHUT UP!!
KLUTZ (nickname): And my name is "Klutzilla" for a REASON.
KISAME: First Question.
Why doesn't Deidara say "Yeah" after his sentences?
From: lily-kun
KISAME: another Deidara question… hmmm… DEIDARA!! GET OVER HERE!
DEIDARA: (walks in) Kisame? What are you doing taping in the bathroom? We have an audio room now. I don't know where it came from, but we have one-
KISAME: Shut up. There's another question about YOU.
DEIDARA: R-really? Cool. What is it? (reads question) ………….F#$.
KISAME: just answer it.
DEIDARA: Well, I don't say yeah after my sentences because … The author says it's troublesome to write 'yeah' all the Time. So… yeah.
KLUTZ: I'm still here you know.
DEIDARA: HOLY SHIT! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM!?
KLUTZ: I was here before you.
DEIDARA: O-oh… uhm… ok then… well Bye. (walks away.)
KISAME: You're too quiet. Speak your mind man!
KLUTZ: You'd cry if I spoke my mind.
KISAME: O.O ok… well… next question.
Kisame, have all you guys taken IQ tests? If so, how far below zero are they? Except Zetsu who is like, 200.
From: Theteacher
KSIAME: Oh a question for all of us! HEY EVERYBODY!! GET IN HERE!!
DEIDARA: (at the door) Wha- AAAH1!! NO!! NO!! WAIT!! TDON'T RUN!! AAAAHHHH!!! (gets trampled on)
ALL: (reads question)
SASORI: What the hell…?
ITACHI: I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I'M EXACTLY ZERO!!
LEADER: Well… I'm offended.
DEIDARA: WHO THE HELL WROTE THIS!?
ZETSU: Over 200…? Oh… well… it's actually 250, but…
KSIAME: HEY HEY WAIT!! WHAT IQ TESTS!? WHERE DID YOU TAKE THEM!?
IATCHI: You don't remember?
DEIDARA: remember at our Akatsuki Chunin exams? We had an IQ test.
KISAME: WHAAAT!!
KLUTZ: Shows what score you got…
KISAME: Shut up. Next Question.
KLUTZ: I didn't take a test.
KISAME: Ok, NOW next question.
Kisame, who do you think is the most annoying, needs to die, be pushed down a well, and eaten by Bigfoot?
From: FearTheFan
KISAME: Hmmm… most annoying (camera turns to KLUTZ) Needs To Die, (zooms in closer) Be pushed down a well (closer) and eaten by big foot… (Hits her face) and in Naruto…
KLUTZ: OW!
KISAME: hmmm I don't know… Tobi, obviously.
KLUTZ: THEN WHY DID THE CAMERA HIT MY FACE!?
KISAME: Oh Deidara's controlling the camera. Guess he just hates you.
DEIDARA: Grrr…
KISAME: Shut up. Well, the answer is Tobi. Because he CLONED HIMSELF AND TOOK OVER THE WORLD!! NEXT QUESTION!!
KLUTZ: There aren't any more.
KISAME: F#$
KLUTZ: I have one!
KISAME: what?
To The leader.
What's it like to take care of Akatsuki? Especially Tobi.
LEADER: Woah… my first question… well… IT'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF SH# TAKING CARE OF AKATSUKI!! IT'S TIRING AND USELESS!! SOMETIMES I WANT TO KILL MYSELF BECAUSE OF TOBI!! GOD SOMETIMES, I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL, YOU KNOW!?
KISAME: I had no idea…
LEADER: WELL THAT'S HOW IT IS!! Hmph!
KISAME: well… ok then… that's all… I guess… Oh I bet you're all wondering how Itachi's doing after, you know, having demons in his head for about 10 years, huh? Well let's take a look at the secret camera we implanted in his head.
DEMONS: AHAHAHAHA WE'LL DISPOSE OF HIM AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!
DEMON2: Hey… is that a camera?
DEMON3: YEAH IT IS!!
DEMON 2: KILL IT!!
DEMON 3: YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Static
KISAME: Ook… Itachi, how do you feel?
ITACHI: It hurts inside my brain…
KISAME: Ok! Good bye now!!