Akatsuki: Attack Of The Tobi

We're getting pretty confused now…

Chapter 22: Mom's Dating Who!?

As the days went by, Life at Sasuke's house… became worse. They had to completely redo the basement for the new guests, and for some unknown reason, Sasuke's college fund disappeared, and a new X-box 360 was found in the living room! And Sasuke and Itachi began to fight… more. But over more trivial things like, who get's the top bunk on the bed, who plays player 1 on the 360, who gets that last bread stick in Olive Garden. We've all fought that battle at least once. Anyway, Itachi began to grow… less evil, but he was still pretty evil. He just didn't kill at random anymore. If he killed someone, he had a good reason. Well, a reason. Not always a GOOD one, but a reason nonetheless. (that's a long word).

In the living room, Itachi and Sasuke were trying to kill each other in the test version for Halo 3 (lucky bastards). "Hey Sasuke," Itachi started. "I think mom's dating again." Itachi looked at Sasuke. That phrase made Sasuke crashed the banshee into a tree. "WHAT!? WITH WHO!?" Sasuke said, alarmed. "Haha… you crashed your banshee…" Itachi laughed. Sasuke grabbed his collar. "WHO DAMMIT, WHO!?" Sasuke yelled. "I don't know! All I do know is that she's on the phone a lot, and she's been going out a lot more often. So I ASSUME, she's dating. Besides, it's probably a good thing. What with all the clan being murdered," Itachi said. Sasuke glared at Itachi. "And… as long as it's nobody we know, it's not a problem! Who knows, he might be a GOOD guy!" Itachi said, cheerfully. "I guess you're right… and, Kisame just killed you." Sasuke pointed to the T.V. "WHAT!? DAMMIT KISAME!! THAT'S CHEATING!!" Itachi yelled. "All's fair in a fight to the death!" Kisame said. "YOU'RE DEAD!" Itachi ran to Kisame's room, holding a gun. Sasuke just sat there, staring. I wonder if there's anything to eat… Sasuke wondered, walking to the kitchen.

When he walked in, he saw Deidara Sasori, and Zetsu around the stove. Sasori and Zetsu were chanting "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" Over and over again. Deidara seemed to be holding a bottle of explosive clay in one hand, and a strange… green… liquid in the other. Oh how he hoped that they weren't going to cook dinner… Suddenly, a huge explosion occurred. "Damn Deidara, what was that stuff?" Zetsu asked, coughing. "Nitroglycerin." Deidara said. "Where'd you get nitroglycerin?" Sasori asked, also coughing. "Why does this scene seem oddly familiar…?" Deidara asked.

TOBI'S CASTLE

Tobi was watching Fairly Odd Parents on T.V. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!! HE BLEW UP HIS ROOM!! USING A SCIENCE PROJECT!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Tobi laughed.

WITH AKATSUKI ER… LATER THAT NIGHT…

There was a ring at the doorbell. Mikoto answered it. "Oh Hi!!" She greeted. "Hello, Mikoto-chan! Ready for tonight?" a familiar voice asked. Just then, Itachi and Sasuke were walking down the stairs, but froze when they saw the leader and their mother talking so fondly. Luckily, they weren't noticed.

"Hey Sasuke… you know when I said 'This wasn't a problem.' ? It's a problem now. A BIG ONE." Itachi said. "For once, I actually agree." Sasuke said. It was then that the leader noticed Itachi and Sasuke standing behind them. "What're you doing here?" He asked. "They're my sons." Mikoto said. "You're married?" The leader asked. "No… I'm a widow…" She said. "Oh right! The whole Itachi killing the cla-" The leader noticed Itachi signaling not to say it. "ShEdOeSn'TrEmEmBeR!!" Itachi murmured. "Uh… ok! So… the usual?" He asked. "Uh-huh!" Mikoto cheered. The leader looked at the Uchiha brothers. And in their eyes, he saw the words "If you so much as TRY to make a move on OUR mother, You will die a slow, and painful death." The leader shuddered. "Ok… let's go!" The leader took Mikoto's hand and left.

"Should we follow them?" Sasuke asked. "HURRY UP SASUKE!!" Itachi was already out the door and running. "oh!" Sasuke ran after him. The other Akatsuki Members heard what was happening. "Should we help…?" Zetsu asked. "I don't know… but it would be fun! Let's go!" Kisame led the group outside, then pondered where the HELL Sasuke and Itachi went. "TO THE AMUSEMENT PARK!!" They yelled.

The leader and Mikoto were on the Ferris wheel, the very top one. "Isn't it so peaceful up here!" Mikoto said. "Yeah, away from the buzz of the city and those murderous freaks…" The leader murmured that last part. "What was that?" Mikoto asked. "Oh… nothing…!" The leader assured. I hope I live to tomorrow… He thought. He looked out the window and Saw Itachi standing in the crowd glaring at him with the Sharingan. He quickly turned away, thinking Don't look, Don't look! Don't look, don't look! Frantically.

Damn, I almost had him! Itachi thought bitterly. "Did you get him yet?" Sasuke said, eating cotton candy. "No… Hey! Where'd you get that!? I want some!" Itachi grabbed for the candy, but Sasuke moved it away. "Get your own! I bought this with Kisame's own money!" Sasuke said.

MEANWHILE, THE OTHER AKATSUKIS WERE AT THE ENTRANCE, TRYING TO PAY FOR THEIR TICKETS.

"Kisame where'd you put the money!?" Deidara asked. "I don't know! I had it a minute ago!" Kisame was looking in every pocket he had. "Zetsu! You're a green man! You must have SOME money!" Kisame said. "I only have drugs." Zetsu said. "Drugs…? We accept drugs! Why do you think so many people are here!" The Tobi guard said. Kisame just smiled nervously as Zetsu handed him the drugs.

MEANWHILE, THE LEADER AND MIKOTO WERE AT A RESTAURANT

"What a nice restaurant!" Mikoto said cheerfully. "Yeah… an expensive one, too." The leader thought. He looked around for any signs of the Uchihas. In the window, he saw Itachi. AAAAAHHHH!!! He yelled in his mind. Wait a second… We're on the 16th floor! How is that possible!?

Outside, Itachi was balancing on top of all the other Akatsukis stacked together. Poor Sasuke being at the bottom. "HURRY IT UP ITACHI!! I'M GOING TO GET KILLED IN ABOUT 2 MINUTES!!" Sasuke called. "In a minute! Until he looks away!" Itachi called back.

"Ok, just stay calm…" The leader said to himself, as they were being led to a table. As they were seated, he looked around, only to see Kisame at the register, Deidara and Sasori looking in from the kitchen doors, Zetsu a house plant, Hidan and Kakuzu the doormen (you know, the people who hold open doors for people), and Tobi sitting at a random table waving. He gave Tobi a strange look. He continued to look around, only to see that Itachi was his waiter. "AAAAAAHHHH!!" The leader screamed. "Sir…?" The waiter asked. The leader was just hallucinating. "Oh… h-hello." The leader said nervously. He looked around again, seeing that the register was a register, the cooks weren't other Akatsukis, Zetsu not the house plant, Hidan and Kakuzu not doormen, and Tobi was still waving at him. Sigh… I'd hoped that was a hallucination too… The leader thought. "I need to use the bathroom…"The leader got up and headed for the bathroom to wash his face.

He looked at the mirror, only to see, written in blood, "7 days…" What the hell!? He thought. He looked behind him, and in the stalls were Zetsu, Deidara, Sasori, and Hidan. Kakuzu was behind the mirror with Itachi and Sasuke, writing more scary messages, until The leader saw through the mirror and saw them. "uh…" Kakuzu said. He and Sasuke ducked down, while Itachi mysteriously disappeared. He appeared behind the leader. "AAH!!" The leader screamed. He turned around but Itachi was gone. "I think I need a Vacation." He said to himself.

He walked back to the table. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." Mikoto said. "7 different ones…" The leader said. They ate their food and left. The leader felt like he was being followed. By 7 people. A Fish, A plant, a puppet, and 3 humans and a retard. "Oh god…" The leader said. They walked to the movie theatre, seeing that the car was destroyed and vandalized having the words "Akatsuki Rules" written on it. They went to see Disturbia. Mikoto screamed occasionally because of some scary scenes. The leader was screaming because he could've sworn He saw Itachi in the background, using the Mangekyo Sharingan. And he was right. After the movie, they went to a bunch of different places, (the song "That's your Horoscope for Today" plays(look on YouTube if You don't know.) Every place they went, the leader got run over, stabbed with a stick, hoping for untrue promotions, was forced to play whack-a-mole, of which one looked like Itachi, who leaped up and punched him. When they FINALLY got back, Mikoto said thanks for the great time, hope to do it again sometime. He shuddered at that fact.

"Listen, Mikoto, I don't think this relationship is working out.…" The leader started. "I think the exact same thing!" Mikoto said. "REALLY!?- I mean –ahem- really?" The leader asked. "Yeah, you just don't seem like my type. Maybe we should just be friends." Mikoto said. "Yeah! I'm glad you understand!' The leader was very happy, he was about to cry. But this was not over. Itachi still wanted to kill him. "Oh god…" The leader said. "Hello, Leader!" Itachi said cheerfully, getting out a knife.

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After all that, The leader was surprisingly still in one piece. He told Mikoto about being the Akatsuki Leader, and asked to stay in the basement. Of course, She agreed, and now there is an extra bed in the basement.

KISAME'S CORNER

KISAME: I feel great!! I don't have that many questions… but maybe because this is a fun chapter and we decided to post it early! Joining me today is the leader!

LEADER: Kisame…. When we get back to being 'regular" Akatsuki prepare for the worst day of your life..

KISAME: gulp…..well anyway lets go to our question…

Kisame, why do you wrap your sword in a bunch of bandages instead of getting a sword sheath?

From: Reaper00140

KISAME: BECAUSE I'M TOO POOR TO AFFORD ONE!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! Plus, it looks cool! Right?

LEADER: ………

KISAME: RIGHT!?

LEADER: You keep telling yourself that Kisame…

KISAME: ………..

Why does Tobi say he's a good boy?

From: lilly-kun

KISAME: Tobi says he's a good boy because Zetsu called him that once. ONCE. And now it's annoying the hell out of him.

LEADER: Tobi's a complete retard.

KISAME: Yes.

TOBI FANS: HEEEEEEY!!!

KISAME: WHAT!? FANS!? I THOUGHT WE HAD SECURITY ON THAT!

LEADER: IT'S EASTER BREAK!!

KISAME: SHIT!! AT A TIME LIKE THIS!?

LEADER: YES AT A TIME LIKE THIS!! RUN!!

BOTH: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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