Akatsuki: Attack Of The Tobi

-slap- I DON'T OWN NARUTO!!

Chapter 23: FINALLY YOU HAVE A PLAN!!... right?

"So tell me again, How did your mom get resurrected?" Deidara asked Itachi. "I told you! I DON'T KNOW! All I know is that the missile that hit us F#2ed up the laws of physics and now she's here!" Itachi explained angrily. "Ok, Ok. Well… where's the leader?" Deidara asked again. "I think he locked himself in the basement. I think he's all depressed about losing a girlfriend because of us. I made my boss cry… I'm proud of myself!" Itachi said. "Do you want to ruin his next relationship next time?" Kisame asked. "Sounds good." Itachi replied. Suddenly, the leader burst out as Sasuke was about to give him food. "I HAVE A PLAN!!" The leader yelled. "A plan for what!? TO GET MORE MONEY!?" Kakuzu said obsessively. "NO. TO OVERTHROW TOBI!!" The leader said. "Oh…" Kakuzu said. "AND THEN GET MORE MONEY!!" The leader finished. "YEAH!!!" Kakuzu cheered. "Well? What's the plan?" Deidara asked. "We ask Tobi, very nicely, to give all power to Akatsuki." The leader said. "Leader… you're high aren't you?" Itachi said. "I've had lack of oxygen, water, and food, and survived on sucking on the moisture of the moss growing in the corner! I think I'm fine!" The leader said, as if that was what he was supposed to do. "Yeah, you're definitely high." Kisame said. "LET'S GO!!" The leader yelled. "But-" "GO DAMMIT GO!!" The leader yelled, running. "Ugh… Well, I guess we can't leave him there… he's high, and crazy. Not a good combination. Let's go." Itachi said, getting up.

AT TOBI'S CASTLE

"Tobi, speaking for the Akatsuki, We would like you to relinquish all power and hand it to the Akatsukis." The leader said. "Hmm… now that you mention it… I have been getting pretty bored…" Tobi said. "NOW!!" The leader yelled, pointing at Tobi. "What!?" Everyone asked. "ATTACK!! LIKE I TOLD YOU!!" The leader yelled. "YOU DIDN'T TELL US ANYTHING!!" Deidara yelled. "Oh… I didn't? Must be more high than I thought…" The leader said. "THEY TRIED TO DECIEVE THE HEAD TOBI!! KILL THEM!!!" The Tobi guards yelled. "NICE JOB LEADER!! YOU GOT US INTO EVEN DEEPER SHIT THAN WE WERE BEFORE- where'd he go?" Deidara asked. He saw the leader halfway to the door. "YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE BITCHES!!!" He yelled, before getting swarmed by Tobis. "AAAAAHHHH!!! SO MANY SWIRLS!! TOO MUCH ORANGE!!" He screamed. Everyone else was gathered and thrown out the 10th floor window. "Well… that could've gone better…" The leader said, brushing off some leaves. "YOU THINK!?" Deidara yelled. "Yes, Deidara, I do think because I have a brain, unlike you." The leader snapped. "I have a brain…" Deidara murmured. "Anyway, let's go back to base…" The leader ordered. "You mean Sasuke's basement?" Kisame asked. "YES. TO THE BASE!" the leader said.

AT SASUKE'S BASEMENT- I MEAN… AKATSUKI BASE…

"Ok, Plan A didn't work." The leader announced. "Please don't tell me you have a plan B…" Itachi said to himself. "So we're going to execute plan B!" The leader finished. F$#... Itachi thought, slapping his head. "Which is what I call, 'Operation Break Into Tobi's Observatory To Officially Break In'." The leader said. "In other words, 'O.B.I.T.O. T.O.B.I." The leader finished. "You spent ten days think of than name?" Deidara asked. "Yup!" The leader said proudly. "Well it's lame." Deidara commented. "So what's in Tobi's Observatory?" Sasori asked. "I was just getting to that. You see, Inside Tobi's Observatory, there are all his dimensional rift opener device things. If we somehow get a hold of one of them, we might be able to communicate with Other evil Organizations to overthrow Tobi!" The leader explained. "Now why wasn't that Plan A!?" Sasori yelled. "Because, I wanted to be open to suggestions…" The leader said. "From yourself!?" Itachi asked. "Yes." The leader said. "I hate this organization I really do…" Itachi said. "Anyway, we commence this operation …Tonight!" The leader said. "If you have any objections, you're fired." The leader said, looking around. Sasuke raised his hand. "I'm not even IN Akatsuki, Why am I here?" Sasuke asked. "Because we need the extra man power. Anything else?" The leader asked. Sasuke raised his hand again. "Do I really have to come?" "YES!!" The leader yelled.

LATER THAT NIGHT…

"Where did you get these black leather suits…?" Sasori asked. "I stole them from the Organization XIII closet." The leader said.

ORGANIZATION XIII

"WHERE THE F#$# ARE OUR UNIFORMS!?" everyone yelled, making Castle Oblivion shake.

WITH AKATSUKI

"…… you're so high…." Itachi said. "Thank you. Now Shhh we're about to break in…" The leader ordered. He grabbed a hammer and broke the window, setting off the alarm. "WHAT THE HELL!?" Itachi yelled. "SHUT UP AND GET IN THERE!!" The leader yelled. The wandered the halls aimlessly until they found the room. When they got to the room, they saw huge experiments floating in water. "woah… Tobi really got something going on here…" Zetsu commented. Suddenly, the door opened. "HEY!! WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE!?" Kabuto yelled. "THIS IS OROCHIMARU'S CASTLE YOU DUMB$!!" Itachi yelled. "OH SNAP!! RUN!!" The leader yelled, running out the broken window.

"Ok… that didn't work out so well…" The leader said. "YOU THINK!?" Hidan yelled. "Yes, because I have my brain while you sacrificed yours to your little Triangle in a circle." The leader said. "Now let's try to get this right this time." The leader walked towards Tobi's castle. "Are you sure It's right this time?" Kakuzu asked. "yes… Geez… you're like my mother.." The leader said angrily. As they arrived at the castle, it was more difficult to get into due to all the guards. "Oh… shit." The leader said.

They all got into the observatory and looked for the device. "Well? Where is it?" Hidan asked. "…I don't know. But I know it's in here." The leader said. "You didn't even bother to check if it was in here at all!?" Itachi asked. "I did… But I didn't." The leader said. "WHAT!? THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!" Itachi yelled. "Look. I know it's in here because my sixth sense tells me it is." The leader said. "You're sixth sense hasn't been very helpful over the years…" Sasori said. "Well… I know it's working now!" The leader said. "HEY GUYS!! I FOUND IT!!" Sasuke bumped into Kisame, who was carrying Samehada, who bumped into Itachi, who bumped into Sasori and knocked down everyone. "HOLY F$# SASUKE!!" Kisame yelled. "Uh… I'll take this home now." Sasuke said, stepping over everyone. "Ohh… that hurt bad…" The leader said. Suddenly, Tobi guards burst in as Sasuke left. "HEY!! THEY'RE BACK!! TROW THEM OUT THE WINDOW!!" They yelled.

CRASH

"Let's go home…" Itachi said, walking away. Everyone else followed.

"Sasuke!! Where'd you put it!?" Itachi called. "On the kitchen table." Sasuke pointed to the kitchen. "OK!! Let's hurry up and call everyone." Sasori said. "YES!!" The leader yelled.

"Ok… who should we call first?" The leader asked. "Organization XIII. I memorized their number." Sasori said, taking the phone.

"Hello?" A voice on the other line asked.

"Hey! Xemnas!! Long time no see!" Sasori said cheerfully.

"Oh! Sasori! Hi!" Xemnas greeted.

"Listen, we're planning a rebellion against a retarded dictator ruling with an iron fist. Can you help?" Sasori said casually.

"Sure! When?" Xemnas asked.

"Uh… maybe… a few days from now. We'll call you!" Sasori said, hanging up.

"Amazing… well, anyone else?" The leader asked. "Oh! I'll dial a random Number!" Itachi said. "Ok!" The leader handed him the phone.

"Hello?" Said a voice from the other line.

"Hey! Who is this!?" Itachi said.

"'who Am I'? You called me! Who Are YOU!?" A voice from the other line said.

"Itachi Uchiha!" Itachi said. "I give you details on our situation and, come to our evil Seminar!" Itachi started speaking in incomplete sentences really fast.

AT SOUL SOCIETY

"What!?" Renji yelled in the phone. "Slow down! Who's Tobi!? What's Akatsuki!? Look, if I go with my friends to your little Akatsu-whatever it is, Will You Shut UP!?" Renji asked. "You will?" Itachi asked. "Yeah, gimme the directions…Konoha….never heard of that place before…Dimension 1… 1235 Uchiha Blvd…? What the hell happened to 4?" Renji wrote down the address. After telling everyone the location and the fast talking idiot on the phone, they agreed to go. It was their vacation anyway. What the HELL did I get myself into!? Renji thought.

WITH AKATSUKI

"Ok! Success! Now everyone random numbers and tell them to come!" The leader ordered.

2 MINUTES LATER

Evil Organization Seminar

We have doughnuts, coffee, and other treats.

"Couldn't you have put something more artistic on that sign?" Deidara asked. "Deidara, we have no time for this… so shut up and listen!" The leader said. "Any day now, the Organizations will be arriving. We have to make sure we don't look retarded. So go put up Decorations or something." The leader said.

2 WEEKS LATER

"Fellow Organizations… welcome to the first EVER, Evil Organization Seminar…" The leader started.

KISAME'S CORNER

KISAME: I'm so excited for the meeting!! Anyway… we have about… one or two questions. Our guest star is… Sasori!!

SASORI: Hi everybo-

KISAME: Ok, back to me. Now for the questions!!

Kisame, what is the meaning of life? . I had to ask it! –runs off to kill Hidan-

From: PhoenixCharmer116

He meaning of life… I can ask the light spirit, I have him on speed dial.

LIGHT SPIRIT: THE MEANING OF LIFE IS-

-line goes dead-

KISAME: Oh… that's too bad… next question!

SASORI: That's it.

KISAME: What?

SASORI: That's all.

KISAME: IMPOSSIBLE!!

SASORI: It's possible.

KISAME: W-wait… No more questions…?

SASORI: Don't make me say 'Believe it.'

KISAME: Well I won't then.

SASORI: Fine by me. –leaves room-

KISAME: crap… well… good bye… I guess… -walks off stage-

-lights go dark-