Akatsuki: Attack of The Tobi

…Epilogue.

…I just said it. Epilogue.

Chapter: Epilogue

Episode: Epilogue

Epi-

KISAME: SHUT UP!!

ME: EPILOGUE EPILOGUE EPILOGUE!!

ITACHI: SHUT THE F$#$ UP!!

ME: ……………..epilogue.

ITACHI AND KISAME: AAAAARGH!!!

Sasori ran after the running plant that was Zetsu, Deidara slowly following behind. "COME ON ZETSU!! BACK AT AKATSUKI'S NOT THAT BAD!!" Sasori called. "YES IT WAS!!!" Zetsu said, still running. Just then, He bumped into Flower-chan, who was eating a veggie-burger. "…! You… You SICKEN ME!!" Zetsu said, pointing at Flower-chan… with his… leaf… hand thing. Well, the point is, he ran off as Sasori told Flower-chan to chase after him too. Great, I have 2 S-ranked ninjas and one bleeding S-rank ninja chasing me. Way to act Natural. Zetsu thought.

Itachi just got out of family counseling, which he was forced to go to by Sasuke. "Ok, Mr. Uchiha, if anything else strange happens, don't hesitate to come back." The counselor said. Yeah, right. I'll come back when you stop being mental. Itachi thought. "I can read thoughts you know." The counselor said, glaring at Itachi. "…I gotta go." Itachi said, taking out a celery stick and eating it. Just then, Zetsu ran by, jumped on Itachi, punched him in the face 5 times, and ran away with the celery stick. "H-HEY!! HE TOOK MY SNACK!!" Itachi yelled, holding his cheek. Sasori ran past him, telling him to chase after Zetsu. He agreed, but mainly for the celery stick.

AT THE AKATSUKI BASE

The leader was hacking away at the Cloning machine. "Man was not meant to play God…" The leader said dramatically. "Oh, and Tobi, as your second punishment, you will have to eat five unicycles… in… five minutes or we'll shoot you. In the nuts. And it'll hurt VERY VERY BADLY!!" The leader said like a child. "Well.. it's better than hanging over a hole leading to the center of the earth's core!" Tobi said. "Yeah… it took us 5 years to get it all the way down there." The leader said proudly.

WITH THE ZETSU CHASE

"QUICK!! FORCE HIM INTO THE AKATSUKI BASE!!" Sasori yelled. Suddenly, Flower-chan fell into a hole. "WE LOST FLOWER-CHAN!!" Sasori yelled. He looked up to find Zetsu waving at him from a moving bus. Sasori saw him point up, referring to the boulder falling on top of him. "HOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!!" He yelled. "ITACHI!! IT'S ALL UP TO YOU!!" Sasori yelled, before getting smashed all cartooney style. "Aw mad, that's gotta hurt…" Itachi said. "like… a bitch…" Sasori murmured. Ok. It's all up to me then. Itachi thought, jumping on the bus Zetsu was on. He was knocked down when they went under an overpass. "Time to meet your- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Itachi said as he was knocked off. "huh. Well that was short-lived." Zetsu said. He looked behind him and saw the scariest sight he ever did see.

DEIDARA LEAPING OFF A BUILDING AND COMPLETELY MISSING ZETSU AND LANDED ON THE WINDSHIELD.

"OH MY GOD I CAN'T SEE!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!" The bus driver said. Everyone in the bus began to panic. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Zetsu screamed, as the bus swereved into a lamp post.

WITH KISAME

"aaaaahh. What a nice, beautiful, awesome day." Kisame said, looking at the road. And the bus hurdling towards him. "And now it was just ruined." Kisame said, bracing himself.

CRASH

The bus smashed into the Akatsuki wall. Apparently, it MISSED the lamp post and crashed into the building behind it. Kisame fell through the wall, and fell down the ridiculously large spiral staircase leading to the basement.

2 HOURS LATER

"ALGHFJLKN HDUBFDMGUIOLUYHLZJDVK DJGKHDLVBDFL" Kisame yelled in panic as he fell.

5 HOURS LATER

"Abklbdfvdanklaklaklf…. Oh god… where'd we get the money for all these stairs!?" Kisame asked himself, still falling.

1 MORE HOUR LATER

"GAAAAAH!! I HATE LIFE- oof!" Kisame fell face first into the basement. "Oh thank god that's over… huh?" Kisame saw a red beeping thing on the floor. "Oh god… no!!!" Kisame yelled as a huge mushroom cloud appeared at section 1 of the basement.

WITH THE LEADER

"Huh… so that's where I put the mine field…" The leader said.

When everyone regained consciousness, the leader walked up to them. "Well, I hope you learned something today, Zetsu." He said. "That when you transfer your soul to another object, carma will catch up to you?" Zetsu asked. "That, and when you mess with my base, I mess with you." The leader brought out a shotgun. "Now, let's get your soul back in your original body." The leader said, grabbing Zetsu by the roots and dragging him inside. Everyone else followed. "Hey, Deidara…" Sasori said. "Hmm?" Deidara asked. "I feel… like we forgot someone…" Sasori said.

WITH FLOWER-CHAN

"Phew… finally out of that…huh?" Flower-chan looked at the same bus that ran over Kisame. "G-G-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed. She ended up on the windshield. "OMG!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!! AGAIN!!!" The bus driver screamed, swerving towards the Akatsuki base wall, the one Itachi just finished repairing. It bashed into Itachi, who bashed into Kisame, who was pushed into the hole leading to the center of the earth.

KISAME'S CORNER

EXTRA

KISAME: THIS IS KISAME, REPORTING FROM A ROCK STICKING OUT OF THE WALL OF THIS HOLE… MAN THIS IS A DEEP HOLE… Anyway, Itachi is here, too. Hanging for deer life… heh, heh. Say Hi Itachi!

-holds camcorder towards Itachi-

ITACHI: HEEEEEEEEEELLP!!! WHY DO WE HAVE THIS HOLE!!

KISAME: Ok, why don't we examine our options. –looks up-

Everyone's looking down at them.

KISAME: H-hey… guys… uh… why don't you… I dunno… send some help… oh I dunno, about NOW!?

LEADER: Don't worry guys, we'll get you down- I mean out… in no time!

KISAME: Hear that Itachi? No time!

ITACHI: That was just an excuse to calm us down when they don't know how long it'll take to save us!!

KISAME: Uh… G-GUYS!?

LEADER: Here's your help!

-throws down Tobi5-

KISAME: O-ok… quit joking…

LEADER: If he didn't help, our alternative is ditching you completely.

KISAME: u-uh… y-you see, h-he fell down… ALL THE WAY.

LEADER: Unfortunate… oh well, see ya!

-leaves-

KISAME looks in camera- D-DON'T PANIC!! UHM… ITACHI AND I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING, RIGHT!?

ITACHI: HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!

KISAME: I HAVE AN IDEA, WE'LL FART OUR WAY OUT!!

ITACHI: ……… what the fuck is wrong with you!?

KISAME: We'll create a fart SO MASSIVE…

ITACHI: I THINK I'LL DIE JUST FROM THAT!

KISAME: Ok, just generate your largest fart and…

TOBI: KISAME-SAN!! I HAVE A ROPE!!

KISAME: OH thank god for your retarded soul!

ITACHI: ME FIRST!!

LEADER: Tobi! Want some grilled cheese?

TOBI: -let's go of rope- COMING!!

KISAME: O.O DAMN YOUR RETARDED SOUL TOBI!!

ITACHI: -falls to firey death- HOLY F$#$!!!

KISAME: ITACHIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

ITACHI: -shoots up-

KISAME: WHA-

ITACHI: use the fart Kisame, USE THE FART!!!

KISAME: hmm… not like things could get more screwed up anyway. –jumps off- -shoots up like a rocket-

ME: Let me explain what happened. When Itachi farted, the gas ignited the flames, and shot them up like a rocket.

LEADER? Oh! Hey! Guys! I saved you!

KISAME: -grabs leader's throat- FILL THAT HOLE. NOW!

LEADER: O-ok… u-uh… you Ok, Itachi?

ITACHI: One thing… -kicks leader in the balls-

That's the end folks!

KISAME: W-WAIT!! I HAVE SOMETHING!!

Look out for the sequel, "Akatsuki: Rise of the Shniz!"

Itachi: What's a Shniz!?

KISAME: I don't know… you'll have to wait for the fic to find out…

Summary: You've seen the first: Kisame's First Few Days, and Attack of the Tobi. Now, the third and last of this trilogy, "AKATSUKI: RISE OF THE SHNIZ"!!! A new member joins Akatsuki, slowly taking Tobi's place as the new retarded kid. Tobi feels his position is threatened, and that Shniz is planning to destroy Akatsuki. Is he right? Or is he paranoid? Probably paranoid. Wait and see…