ARIGATO GOZAIMASU MINNA-SAN!!!! This is the LAST chappie of this story since I'm way too lazy to type more but there probably MOST LIKELY will be Parts 3 and 4 up sometime in the future. Of course that depends on how I feel about it and if it will get to same amount of 'fame' as this one has. It feels really awkward to end at 29 chapters...Anyways last chapters are usually serious and junk...OK since I'm more of a person who types random crap instead of serious, I TRIED MY BEST!!!! It's a really pathetic ending so nya!! Well it still has its randomness in it somewhere...Enjoy!! And thanks for all the fave's, alerts and reviews!!

--HotarunoYami

"Kudakero, Kyouka Suigetsu"

Once those words left Aizen's lips, the world started to spin, colors all mixed together, everybody was cast under an illusion. However, each person was manipulated in a different illusion (for each). In a matter of time, many started to freak out as Aizen chose the most horrifying and painful moment to be replayed over and over into their minds. Some however weren't affected since they had the will power to over come Aizen's trick.

"I DON'T get it!!" Renji yelled over the roaring fire. "He's an evil bastard that's hopelessly single for life!! How could he do this?!"

"DUH DUMBASS!!" Ikkaku yelled back over the howling winds. "He's an EVIL BASTARD!!" Ikkaku pointed out the obvious. "He was bound to make a move anyways!!"

"Yeah did you think he would actually settle down for a picnic with us and abandon all his plans to annihilate Soul Society?!" Hisagi asked.

"…y-you never know!" Renji retorted.

"Would you guys shut up!!?We have to find a way to get to Aizen in order to stop him!!" Soifon yelled over the ruckus.

"Oh right…should be a piece of cake right?" Yumichika asked.

"Cake?!" Yachiru exclaimed looking around but all she saw was the arrancar/Espada lounging around bored.

"Let's see, a huge fireball, strong whip lashing winds and a torrential downpour, oh yeah it sure is easy!" Toshiro snapped.

"Not to mention about half of us are out cold from Aizen" Byakuya added.

"OHH… why did they have to snap at this time?!" Ukitake groaned placing his hand on his head.

"The seals must've been wearing off; it's the only reason as to why!" Yamamoto informed. "It's too dangerous to get close to them, even though they are unconscious" He yelled to unwary shinigami that almost thrown back by the howling winds around Tori. Mika's downpour was no different; water was swirling around whipping out at random, definitely not in control. And Rina's fireball was definitely hard to get through.

"But why would it happen now of all times?" Zaraki asked. "I've seen all of them react to their emotions before so why would it happen now?!"

"Weren't you listening?!" Kurotsuchi hissed. "The seal had worn off that's why they're outta control!! And there's no way they can stop it since they're unconscious!!"

"Well why don't we wake them up?" He suggested bluntly.

"It looks SO easy!!" Rangiku said sarcastically. "You try and get close!!" She yelled and pushed him forward.

"Can't be so bad" He muttered as he approached Mika's storm. He ran back swiftly after a whip of water tried to strangle him. "Ok they're outta control!" He concluded.

"Duh…well how can we stop them?" Kyouraku asked. "Aizen has the upper hand right now"

"Maybe his other books will help us…" Hinamori suggested pointing at the shelf that had many books.

"Worth a shot!" Rukia yelled out and scanned the titles. "…Aizen does NOT have a life at all" She declared after reading the titles of the books that similarly ended with 'For Evil Bastards that are Hopelessly Single' or the usual 'For Dummies'

"Umm…let's see… 'How to Stop a Reckless Bastard for Dummies' …I'M NOT A DUMMY!!" Renji roared when he found the book they were looking for.

"Yes you are now shut up" Hisagi muttered, Renji heard it and fumed.

"…Stop a Bastard from Killing You…Page 34…Say: Pudding…" Byakuya read out loud.

"…Pudding…" Everyone that was conscious repeated in disbelief.

"…and crow like a rooster after you do the hokey-pokey…" He went on.

"…What kind of book is this?" Ukitake asked snatching it away to make sure Byakuya wasn't lying. "…After you crow like a rooster, sing Happy Birthday and paint/draw smiley faces on the bastard(s) and everything around him…" Soifon snatched the book away from him.

"…Recite your ABC's, and then imitate a drunken rhino…" Toshiro grabbed the book out of her hands.

"Start playing Patty Cake and repeat 'I LIKE BUNNEHS!' 10 times, the bastard should be dead or unconscious. If he is not, repeat the whole procedure until the bastard is done for." Hitsugaya finished.

"Um…I ain't doing that…" Renji said as many others agreed with him.

"Rina, Mika, and Tori probably would but they're out cold…" Ukitake sighed.

"Yachiru will do it" Zaraki said and pulled her over. "Yachiru wanna play a game?" He asked her, her face lit up with glee and agreed.

"Ok, do everything on page 34" Hinamori instructed.

Yachiru ran up close to Aizen, Tousen and Gin. They looked down at her not seeing her as a threat.
"PUDDING!!" she yelled. All 3 former captains' faces turned white. Yachiru started doing the hokey pokey and the 3 were paralyzed with not fear but shock. "COCKA-DOODLE-DO!!" She crowed. Gin stumbled a bit. "Happy Birthday to you!! Happy birthday to you!!..." Yachiru sang out cheerfully. Aizen's illusion dispersed and everyone else woke up confused.

"What's going on?" Tori wondered.

"Um…can ya guys join in with Yachiru?" Unohana whispered. "It's how we're gonna stop Aizen" She added on, the 3 nodded still confused.

"Ok, what do we do now?" Mika asked and looked in the book. "Draw/Paint smiley faces on the bastard(s)…OK!!" Mika grabbed on her Sharpie and pounced on the 3 drawing smiley faces on them and the walls, floor and everything else that was in her reach.

"Next, recite your ABC's" Rina read out.

"A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z" The 4 recited or should I say, they sang it out causing the former captains to have a major migraine.

"Imitate a drunken rhino" Tori read. "How do we do that?" She wondered the others shrugged. Yachiru got an idea and stole Kyouraku's sake and chugged it. She became drunk in matter of seconds and acted like some drunken beast.

"It's close enough to a rhino" Rina said.

"Start playing Patty Cake…" Mika read. All 3 (Yachiru's too drunk to participate) sat on the floor cross legged. "Patty Cake, Patty Cake…" they started to clap their hands together and sing out the song.

Gin and Tousen were out cold from the actions performed.

"I LIKE BUNNEHS, I LIKE BUNNEHS, I LIKE BUNNEHS, I LIKE BUNNEHS, I LIKE BUNNEHS, I LIKE BUNNEHS, I LIKE BUNNEHS, I LIKE BUNNEHS, I LIKE BUNNEHS, I LIKE BUNNEHS!!!" All of them yelled out, Aizen was stark white and wasn't completely dead/unconscious.

"SAME HERE!!!" Rukia yelled out agreeing with them.

"If they are not dead or unconscious, repeat until they are…" Tori read the fine print.

"OK!!"

"Wait it's no fun until those guys join in" Rina said pointing at the remaining shinigami.

"Uh…hehe…no thanks…" They laughed nervously.

"Those guys should join in too" Mika pointed at the remaining Espada.

"Huh?"

Well the two groups didn't have a choice as they were pushed towards where only Aizen remained.

"…PUDDING!!" They yelled out unenthusiastically.

"This is stupid…" Aizen mumbled snapping out of it and reactivated his illusion.

"Aw shit…"

"OMFG CLOWN!!" Rina shrieked and jumped on Komamura's head like a terrified cat.

"SPIDER!!!" Mika screamed and started bashing the ground with a piano that somehow was in her hands.

"HEY WATCH WHERE YOU'RE AIMING!!" Renji yelled narrowly dodging Mika's piano.

"BUTTERFLY!!" Tori yelled and started to run around really, really fast in circles screaming her head off.

"How do we stop his stupid illusion?!" Zaraki growled impatiently.

"…Page 35…" Ise read out. "If the bastard resists all attempts to be subdued and starts to attack (i.e. illusions), give him a spanking" She read.

"A spanking?" Suddenly the shinigami and arrancar had a sly grin plastered on their faces.

Urahara grabbed out some towels that were wet and rolled them up into a whip-like figure.

"SAY YER PRAYERS!!" Grimmjow yelled and whip lashed the towel at Aizen's butt.

"GRIMMJOW!!" He yelped and attempted to kill him, but suddenly the rest of the arrancar jumped in and beat up their 'daddy'.

"Oh yeah…" Toshiro mumbled, he caught Tori on her sleeve and whacked her on her head diffusing the illusion cast on her.

"Huh?"

Renji and Byakuya did the same to the other two.

"What's going on?" Rina asked when she saw all of the arrancar thrashing their leader.

"I dunno, more importantly who writes these books?" Rukia asked, Yumichika held up the book and read the author's name.

"I.M. Uglee" He read out.

"HA YOU FINALLY ADMITTED IT!!!" Zaraki yelled out happily.

"I'M NOT UGLY!!" Yumichika yelled at the book. Everyone looked at him strangely for letting his anger out on a book.

"Do we actually have to kill him?" Momo asked looking at her former captain.

"Don't tell me you still have some form of attachment to him even though he tried to kill you!" Hitsugaya said out.

"Yeah but…we'll have the problem of 3 missing captains for a long, long time…" She muttered.

"Yeah, and I believe in second chances so who's with me?!" Rangiku asked for a show of hands, almost all of them put up their hands. Then again it was mainly people that weren't of captain rank or not even shinigami/attached to Soul Society.

"PUT YER HANDS UP!!" Mika yelled at the captains who didn't put up their hands.

"What are you? A cop and we're the robbers?" Ukitake asked her.

"Uh…sure…PUT YER HANDS UP!!" Mika and several others formed their hands into a gun figure and pointed them at the captains. The captains were appalled at their actions and were ready to punish them.

"LOOSEN UP AND FOLLOW THROUGH!!" Kiyone and Sentarou yelled out causing the rest to follow suit.

"What's going on over there?" Nnoitra stopped smashing Aizen's head on the ground and looked over to the shinigami that seemed to be overthrowing their captains.

"I dunno…they always leave us out on things!!" Lolly yelled out.

"Whatever, after we're done with him and the rest let's join in" Grimmjow stated as they rest agreed.

"OK, OK!!" The captains surrendered as their hands shot up.

"We'll put them in rehab or something!!" Soifon yelled out.

"YEAH!!!" Everyone cheered.

"Wait…since when did we have a rehabilitation center?" Ise wondered.

"Uh…we'll... make one?" Komamura answered.

"Ok…so…what now?" Tori asked from the two seconds of silence.

"I dunno…hey are those guys done yet?" Hanatarou looked over to the violent arrancar that were assaulting their superiors.

"Should we tell them not to kill them?" Izuru asked.

"We'll let them figure out" Rangiku answered.

"HEY WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?!" Renji asked pointing at Urahara who was munching on popcorn as he and Isshin and Ryuuken that were sitting on lawn chairs looking at the view as if it were a movie.

"…I always have a package with me…" He answered slightly terrified.

"And how did you manage to pop them?" Kurotsuchi wondered. "What did you use to pop them?"

"…Uh…it's called a microwave" He answered confused.

"…Wasn't it an Easy Bake Oven? That's all we could find here anyways" Isshin pointed out grabbing a handful of popcorn.

"Is it kettle corn?" Tori asked.

"Actually yeah" Urahara answered back.

"Besides, there's a popcorn machine over there too" Ryuuken pointed over to a corner that had a popcorn machine, an Easy Bake Oven, cotton candy machine and what seemed to be a bar.

All of the shinigami dashed over to the corner and grabbed all the junk they needed, sat by the 3 and watched the 'Best Movie Ever'—arrancar beating up 3 guys.

"What're you looking at?!" Yammy yelled out at them noticing that the shinigami had settled down and invaded their lifetime supply of junk.

"You beat up Aizen!!" They yelled back.

"Don't you want them dead?" Lolly asked.

"Not really, we decided to put them in rehab!!" Yachiru piped up licking her ice cream.

"You have a rehabilitation center?" Ulquiorra asked.

"No…but the captains are gonna make one!!" Rina answered back taking a big gulp of her root beer.

"…Ok…uh…are we allies now or what?" One arrancar asked.

"Uh…sure I guess…" The shinigami agreed somewhat.

"HEY CAN I HAVE YER NUMBER?!" Rangiku yelled out at the arrancar.

"We don't even know you and you're hitting on us?!" Grimmjow yelled on the men's behalf.

"N-NO!!! OF COURSE NOT!!! IT'S SO WE CAN CONTACT YOU GUYS IF WE EVER NEED YOUR HELP!!" Rangiku retorted.

"Lies" Some shinigami said under their breath.

"Uh…it starts with a '1-800'" Lolly said out.

"1-800-EVL-GUYZ" Grimmjow answered reading it out of a piece of paper.

"…that is so original" Hisagi said quietly.

-------------------------------------------------3 months later------------------------------------------

"HA YOU HAVE TO DO WORK!!" Mika laughed at Renji who was drowning in huge piles of paperwork.

"SHUT UP!! Shouldn't you be resting anyways? I thought you said that the seals hurt like hell"

"Oh they do, but I don't like to rest in bed for a week so I decided to come and diss you!" She said with a smile.

"…You're…weird…"

"THANK YA!!" She thanked and gave him a hug knocking over piles of paper. "So find any captains yet?" Mika asked innocently.

"Not really…apparently Ichigo's old man is forcing the captaincy onto him, but he's resisting. And they haven't found any other people yet" Renji answered ignoring the fact that he had to reorganize the office.

"Why don't you?" Mika asked him.

"Cuz it's too much work and—"

"You're too stupid" Mika finished. Renji let out a low growl.

"NO IT'S NOT THAT!!" He snapped.

"Well what'll you say if someone happened to…oh I dunno…"

"What"

"…well someone just happened to say that…"

"Mika you didn't--!!"

"Yeah I said that you could be a captain!!" Mika said cheerfully.

"YOU!!!" He yelled out.

"Yes?" She squeaked.

"…What division am I in and when do I start?" He asked seeming so calm.

"Huh? OH um…9th and next week" She answered.

"YES I GET TO MAKE HISAGI DO ALL THE WORK!!" Renji plotted evilly.

Elsewhere in Soul Society…

"…What's this feeling I'm getting?" Hisagi wondered nervously as if he felt that something really bad was going to happen to him.

---

"SO…how's babysitting going?" Rina asked Byakuya as she played with Nariko.

"…She's killing me" He answered.

"Really? She's only a kid ya know; I doubt that she'd actually destroy your place"

"She got me to get Rukia a bunny" He said suddenly.

"And that's a bad thing how?"

"You know how much a bunny eats?" He asked her.

"No, I never had a bunny…I had a wolf though…"

"Bunnies stink just to let ya know probably from all the waste they—"

"TMI!!!"

"Are you sure Nariko did that?" Rina asked him as she placed her in Byakuya's care.

"Yes, no one else could've forced me to"

"…What about Rukia?"

"She always attempts to but it never works."

"…That little voice in your head that tells you to jump off a cliff when you're pissed"

"No…that little voice is usually that friggin annoying alarm clock Rukia has from the real world"

"...Ok…Yachiru?"

"No, she's easy to get rid of"

"…Ichigo"

"I wouldn't let that brat in my house even if he paid me"

"…So I'm guessing you don't know that he and Rukia are going out"

"…WHAT?!"

"You didn't know?" She asked him surprised.

"How am I supposed to know these things while I'm stuck at work and Rukia gets to stay at home and laugh at me?" He asked.

"Well they're dating so deal with it, Ichigo's probably gonna end up as your brother in-law or something. And then when they have a kid you're gonna be the uncle and she's probably gonna litter the house with Chappy the Bunny items. Then you'll have to deal with their constant arguments and lovey-dovey talk and…" Rina went on and on.

"Nightmares" He shuddered.

"Oh and you're gonna have to find a new lieutenant since Renji is gonna be the captain for 9th division" She told him.

"...I heard and from the looks of it its going to be hectic with BOTH Ichigo AND Renji" He said through gritted teeth.

"Can't be that bad... well except from the lack of work being done, tons of free time and rebellious acts..."

"You're not making it any better" He informed her.

"I'm not?" She asked looking quite surprised. He gave her a 'What do you think?' look; she got it...after some time.

"Well I guess you're gonna be--"

"NO WAY!!" She interrupted him.

"...I didn't even finish" He muttered.

"THERE IS NO STINKIN WAY I'M GONNA REPLACE RENJI!!!" She went on.

"Why?"

"Because, if she does she'll throw all the work out the window for the first month" Ukitake informed entering the room. "She did that with me on the first month of work"

"Oh yeah good times, good times!" Tori spoke up as she and Mika entered for some strange reason. "...Well gotta go!!" They left the room as soon as they entered.

"...Why did they come in here if they weren't going to do anything?" Rina wondered.

---

"So how's teaching the formers the alphabet again?" Tori asked cheerfully to the stressed out captain.

"Don't start it" Hitsugaya moaned.

"Why? Can't they find the difference between an 'M' and an 'N'?" Tori asked.

"…You should see their sentence structure…"

"…are they that stupid?" Hitsugaya nodded.

"But I think they're just fooling around and wanting to stick in rehab for the rest of their lives." He sighed.

"Oh well, its funny seeing how stupid people are" Tori remarked.

"I guess unless you're the person taking care of them!!" He made sure to emphasize that last sentence as Tori happened to volunteer him up for the job along with Rangiku, Momo, and Komamura.

"Well it's a good experience for ya!" She retorted.

"How so?" He asked not believing her.

"…You'll be good with kids! And middle-aged people that can't count to 42 in Spanish!" Tori exclaimed.

"…They gave the Espada ranks from the Spanish language, how wouldn't they know what 42 is?" Hitsugaya asked.

"They took a long time figuring it out ya know!"

"And how would you know that?"

"I have my resources"

"…Sometimes I think you're part ninja/spy" He muttered to himself.

"Oh by the way…" Ukitake stuck his head into the division. "There's reportedly a wolf, chimera, and huge bat prowling around Seireitei?" He asked suspiciously.

"D-didn't you hear?" Tori stuttered. "Umm…Seireitei has a petting zoo now!!" She answered.

"Involving animals the size of us?" He asked unconvinced.

"Yeah…it's the 'Unusually Large Mythical Creatures Petting Zoo with a Ridiculously Long Name for Something So Not True'…" She said nervously. "Oh look at the time!!" She said and hurried out of the room seeking refuge in another room.

-------------------------------------------------1 month later----------------------------------------

"Is there any good reason why I have to go through a tour when I've already been around here?" Ichigo asked in utter confusion.

"Yeah…it's kinda like a rule that all new captains get a tour, even though they've been around the whole place a million kazillion times" Mika answered.

Ichigo had accepted the captain's place for 5th Division…after much arguing and fist fighting with his dad… Renji had also become a captain and poor Hisagi was busy day after day. Of course Mika told Renji to let Hisagi off for a day or two, he didn't accept but after much convincing Mika got Hisagi a few day off's. 3rd Division still hadn't found a captain to fill in but they were managing well.

"Hey Ichigo here's some advice" Renji said to him as the two passed each other in the hallway.

"What is it?" He asked not expecting any good advice from the red head.

"Never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever—"

"OK I GET IT!!" Ichigo interrupted from the excessive 'ever's

"OK fine!! Never ever, listen to those 3" Renji pointed to the 3 girls that loved to slack off and cause mischief and trouble around the whole place.

"Why?" Ichigo asked.

"Cuz they always lie and get you into a lot of trouble" He answered and went on his way.

"…so you mean I didn't need this stupid tour?" Ichigo asked meekly.

The 3 nodded their heads cheerfully and ran off before feeling Ichigo's wrath.

"God can't believe he actually thought he needed a tour!" Tori laughed.

"I know and we were practically done the whole thing too!" Rina added on.

"Oh well it was his time we wasted not ours!!" Mika concluded.

And that is my really pathetic, lame attempt at 'serious' writing. Well that's the end...I'll probably start on parts 3 and 4 since I want to make sure my friends I know personally don't attack me for not continuing on...even though I never had a plan for the next parts... Well thanks and don't expect anything from me soon!!