"Itachi? Deidara? You up?" Sasori called. Kisame was in the kitchen brewing a pot of coffee for their thermos. There would be a lot of coffee consumed during this long car ride. Fortunately, this thermos held 24 cups of coffee. A sleepy Tobi stumbled out of his bedroom and Kakuzu was already counting money although no one was sure where he got it. Sasori was not aware that Itachi and Deidara had been up since 4:30 putting final touches on their travel wardrobe and their hair. However, Sasori had headed to the parking lot to put the maps in the passenger seat of the can…..when he saw it.
15 minutes and one fuming Sasori later
"Itachi! What the FUCK is in that parking lot!" Sasori yelled angrily storming into Itachi and Deidara's bedroom.
"Oh that? Well see…." Itachi prepared to calmly explain.
"Oh shut the hell up Itachi! I know damn well what it is! But what the fuck do you think you're doing?! What is, is is, the conversion van just not good enough for you anymore!" Sasori was pissed. "And you!" He pointed at Deidara.
"I didn't do it! I didn't do it! I didn't do it, yeah!" Deidara whined.
"No. But you were in on it!" Sasori blamed.
"Well, Sasori it's like this. I wanted to take my girl to Miami Beach in something a little trendier than a conversion van. Now, it's nothing against Akatsuki or you or the van. But you know, that's just not going to work out." Itachi said pulling a hairbrush from Deidara's hand and applying his final strokes.
"You……dumb ass good for nothing piece of shit….WEASEL! Well, you know what. You have to have a code to get into the gated road that leads to the condo. And I sure as hell won't be giving that to your sorry ass." And Sasori left to spill to Kisame and Zetsu what Itachi had done. Itachi looked calmly as ever at Deidara. "Deidara, go wait in the parking lot for Dana and Marisol. Their cab should be arriving in about 10 minutes and you need to load their luggage since I loaded our 3 suitcases last night."
"Okay, here I go, yeah." And Deidara quickly made his way to the front door before Sasori had a chance to kill him.
"You know, Sasori quit being so pissed about it. It was Itachi's choice and that's the way it is. You know they will get lost because Deidara can't read a map worth shit. So just let them drive down separately, besides…our drive will be much more peaceful. Thinkn about it, you and Deidara won't argue about art and Itachi won't fight with Deidara about which of them is better in bed." Kisame was trying to point out the positives to him. Which actually made Sasori feel a little better.
Soon there was a cab in the parking lot of the apartment complex. Marisol and Dana rolled out of the cab and the driver got out to help them unload their luggage from the trunk. Of course, both of them were dressed as if they would be spending the day shopping…..not in a car for 10 hours. Dana was decked out in her leggings and long tunic top with her D&G sunglasses. She looked positively beautiful. Marisol's white skirt was dangerously short, and her red high heels matched her red dolman style top. They were both gorgeous.
"Oh my god! Deidara, is that like so our car, yeah? Itachi told me all about it, yeah." Dana said man-handling her luggage. Her handbag was nearly as big as she was.
"Marisol! You look so pretty, yeah." Deidara said grabbing a hold of her.
"Oh my god baby, do you really like this outfit because I was nervous about the white Dior bag." Marisol asked still holding on to Deidara.
" Of course I do, yeah. My god Marisol you look so hot for a car ride, yeah. Oh my god! Your sunglasses match your shoes, yeah." Marisol screamed happily.
"Oh my god! I so didn't even realize that! She flung her arms tighter around Deidara and kissed him.
"Marisol! Do you have sun block in that bag, yeah?" Dana asked as she pulled shoved the luggage into the trunk. Of course Deidara ran to take it away from her. His precious sister wouldn't tug on anything.
"I do Dana, but….why would we need that in the car?" Marisol asked.
"Oh….good point, yeah." Dana answered her. Just then Itachi and Zetsu came out into the parking lot. They would be leaving soon.
"Hey, Dana has anyone paid that cab driver he's still….god Dana you look good!" Itachi's thoughts were interrupted.
"Thanks, yeah. So do you." Dana smiled like the angel she is. She couldn't help but get her arms around Itachi's waist, besides Deidara had all the luggage in the trunk now. Of course, the trunk lid would barely close and naturally Deidara set off the car alarm because he jammed it shut and then Itachi yelled at him and then Sasori appeared and cussed them both out. But, then Sasori politely greeted Marisol and Dana. Tobi, Hidan Kakuzu and Kisame came down the staircase with the coffee thermos, a bag of snacks, a six pack of Pepsi, and Hidan had the Holy Bible. He liked to read the verses out loud. Kakuzu would get pissed and they would fight, it was a certainty.
"Alright, time to go. Hidan you're my co-pilot. Let those two dumbasses figure out how to get to Miami." Sasori said. Hidan had three maps and he was ready to assist Sasori.
"Well, you know what? We're going to leave in front of you. We'll make it to Miami before you all and we'll be on the beach drinking pina colodas when you all are pulling in to the condo parking lot tonight!" Itachi challenged.
"Right, because Deidara, Dana and Marisol are going to get you to Miami." Sasori said sarcastically, starting up the van. Kakuzu, Tobi, Kisame, and Zetsu piled in. Fortunately, the leader had updated his music collection and now instead of an odd combination of CD's he had XM satellite radio. Hidan was excited because he enjoyed the chant stations. And he didn't bring his chant CD's with him.
"Deidara, don't you even ask me to drive. I am driving the entire way there." Itachi said.
"Oh check it out Dana, This is one of those convertibles with a back seat!" Marisol said.
"Yeah, you and I can sit back here, yeah." Dana said completely thrilled.
"Wow, if I would have known that, I probably would have worn a different skirt but I thought I was going to be on Deidara's lap." Marisol said.
"Oh good thinking, yeah. Smart move, I wish I would have thought of that. I mean I'm not saying that I want to sit on my brother's lap, yeah. Not like in THAT way, oh god, yeah. But….do you understand what I mean?"
"Of course, you would have just been in Itachi's lap, right?"
"Yeah." Dana answered. And so the little Mercedes left the conversion van behind in the parking lot. The ride through town was very empty, it was so early and there was no traffic yet. However, Itachi was approaching the interstate and in order to merge….he would have to speed up.
"Hmmm you know, my hair is blowing a little, yeah. I'm going to have to get a….AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH OH GOD!
"AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"
"PULL OVER ITACHI!" Dana yelled from the back seat. No one had planned that as the car reached 50 miles per hours there would be massive tangling of hair.
"Oh my god, oh my god. Everyone, just calm down, yeah. Is everyone okay?" Dana asked.
"Shit, I worked on these layers all fucking morning!" Itachi fumed.
"Wow it's usually only in my face like this after I have sex with Marisol, yeah."
"Okay, okay, relax everyone its okay. I have a hairbrush, some straightening spray and a cosmetology license. I can so fix this." Marisol said. She calmly reached into her giant purse and began searching for the brush. She had to fix herself first before she could detangle everyone else. As she dug through her stuff Sasori passed them in the van, laid on the horn and appropriately flipped Itachi off.
"Does he not realize that one wrong look from me and I could fry his ass?" Itachi asked Deidara.
"I'm sure he does, Itachi, yeah."
"Wow, all four of them were too stupid to realize that they needed to tie their hair up if they are going to ride all the way to Miami in a convertible." Sasori said to Hidan as they rolled down the interstate.
"Seriously, I would have thought Itachi would have been more on the ball than that."
"So much for thinking Hidan." Kisame said.
The journey had begun. In exactly 10 hours Akatsuki would arrive in Miami, Florida.