"Oh my god, um….we have a problem." Itachi said getting ready to panic.

"What, what, what's the problem, yeah?" Deidara asked.

"Well, number one we have to stop and get gas and number two….we're kind of lost. Get the map out." Itachi said." Deidara opened up the map forgetting that the wind would just blow it around and keep it from actually being read. In fact, the map blew backwards against him and ripped.

"God, Deidara you are so useless." Itachi rolled his eyes. "You know what forget, it. Let's just stop at this gas station coming up at the next exit and we'll ask directions." Thank goodness it was one of those huge travel plaza type gas stations.

"Oh my god! Look Marisol, truckers, yeah! Hey, let's wave!" Dana said enthusiastically as the truckers oogle-eyed the blonde bomb shells Itachi and Deidara were toting around. Itachi pulled up to one of the gas pumps. He opened the door and let Dana get out, Marisol did the same on Deidara's side of the car and quickly began straightening out her wrinkled white skirt. Itachi stared at the gas pump with one arm around Dana's waist. He then looked at Deidara.

"Um…Deidara….do….you know how to pump gas?"

"Hell no, Itachi. You know we always take taxis or the metro, yeah." Itachi and Deidar stared mindlessly at the gas pump.

"You know what, Dana Marisol you two pump the gas and we are going to go inside and get directions.

"Oh, we are like so lost aren't we, Itachi, yeah?" Dana asked.

"Well, yes sweetie we are…but I can fix this. I'm a totally together, calm and self sufficient man. But I will say that here we are in South Carolina and I think we're off track because the signs are pointing to Mississippi…not Georgia. And we have to go through Georgia to get to Florida."

"Okay well me and Marisol…We got this, yeah!" Dana said confidently. Marisol nodded in agreement. So Itachi and Deidara hurried inside to talk to the cashier.

"Dana, my boyfriend has the best body in the whole universe." Marisol said."

"Are you serious, yeah? Oh wait….your boyfriend is my brother, I knew that! Of course Marisol I can't say that about my brother but Itachi is smoking hot, yeah."

"I guess that is fair that you can't properly judge your own brother. Okay, Dana we have to figure this out." Marisol said as the two girls looked helplessly at the gas pump.

"Oh my god…Marisol I have never done this, yeah!"

"Shit, I haven't either Dana."

Meanwhile, in the conversion van…..

"Man, this has been the most relaxing trip we've ever taken! Deidara's not singing every single pop radio hit to us. Itachi's not….being him. We're almost to the Florida state line! Quick! Sasori find us a celebration song!" Kisame said.

"Alright…..uh…..oh! How about Madonna's 'Like A Virgin'?" Sasori asked. There was a long pause.

"THAT'S PERFECT!" everyone shouted in near unison. Consider it the Miami Beach anthem for the members of the van.

"Hey, you seriously want to know the first thing I'm going to do when we reach the condo?" Hidan asked.

"Of course we do." Zetsu said.

"I'm going to take a picture of the condo and e-mail it to my mom, seriously." Hidan proudly proclaimed.

"Oh, oh! I'm going to build a sand castle." Tobi said.

"I'm going to look for pennies in those center fountain things." Kakuzu said.

"I think I'm going to take the good bedroom from Itachi and Deidara." Kisame said laughing.

"Well, I'm going to go through the groceries and fix us something to eat." Zetsu said.

"Oh man, I'm going to change clothes into the sexy stuff I brought, take a 6 pack of beer down to the beach and lay in a hammock all evening."

"Hmmmmm sounds exotic, Sasori." Hidan said.

"But wait, how do you think things will change when Itachi and Deidara arrive at the condo?" Zetsu asked.

"Well, the way I see it, we'll all have to ignore the fact that Dana and Marisol are so hot and ignore all the sex going on around us." Kisame said.

"Good call." Hidan said.

"God, Marisol what's with the numbers, yeah? And unleaded? What's that? This thing is called the pump, yeah. But….where does it go into the car, yeah?" Marisol looked very hard at the car.

"Oh my god! There's a little door thing! Let's open it!" Marisol was thrilled. However, after 5 minutes of trying to figure out what to do next, they both decided it was time to call for help.

"Hey, let's ask one of those truckers. They can help us, yeah!" Dana said. There was a huge tractor-trailer parked nearby and so Dana went over to the drivers side. "Excuse me, yeah. Hi! Um, me and my friend need help pumping gas, yeah." Let's go inside the gas station now to Itachi and Deidara…

"Hi, how can I help you?" The cashier asked.

"Well, we're heading to Florida, so we need to know if we're lost." Itachi said.

"Oh you boys are heading the wrong way. Here's what you need to do." The cashier began to give Itachi directions and Deidara was supposed to be paying attention but he shifted his attention out the gas station window and then it happened…..

"OH MY GOD!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, YEAH!" Deidara's girly high pitched screaming could be heard throughout the gas station convenient store. "Itachi! Itachi! Shit! There, there's….some SCARY TRUCKER GUY STANDING REALLY CLOSE TO MARISOL AND DANA, YEAH! He's going to hurt them, shit what if he tries to touch them, yeah!? Oh my goooooooooood! I have got to do something, yeah! Wait……think Deidara……OH! I've got it, yeah! I'm just…I'm going to blow this whole gas station up! That will fix things, yeah. I'm just going to…." Deidara's rant was interrupted.

"DEIDARA!" and then Itachi slapped Deidara senseless across the face.

"AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH! Oh my god! You so just slapped me, yeah!" Deidara said.

"Deidara, calm down. Okay first, if you blow the gas station up….you get arrested and I get drug into it. Secondly, they are fine….no one is going to hurt either of them." Itachi said. Deidara was still breathing hard.

"But, but….that trucker, he looked at them in a degrading and unclean way, I just know it, yeah!"

"Deidara….relax." Itachi said.

"Thanks, Earl! Bye!" Marisol waved to the trucker.

"Yeah, bye Earl! The naked lady air freshener is great,yeah!"

"Dana, since we have the gas pumped and Itachi and Deidara are still getting directions which we already have why don't I get out my flat iron from my purse and we can work on our hair? Look! There's an electrical socket right over there!" Marisol said.

"That is such a good idea, yeah!" Dana said.

Would these four ever make it to Miami?