"Wooooooooooooooo! Pensecola, Florida!" Kisame shouted. "Wow, we only have about 4 hours left!"

"Hey, Hidan want me to pull over and us trade places for a while?" Sasori asked.

"Me? Seriously, drive the van? Sasori….I'm honored!" Hidan said.

"Hidan, you are in the top 4 responsible Akatsuki members. It's Me, you, Kisame and Zetsu in no particular order." Sasori said. Hidan started to tear up.

"Wow guys…..you are my best friends. Pull over Sasori, I'll take the wheel." And so Sasori pulled over in the Burger King parking lot to switch drivers and load up on Whopper's with cheese. Their ordering experience was much smoother than Itachi's Taco Bell fiasco.

"You know, I wonder if Dana and Marisol can cook? We brought so much food and we can't expect Sasori to cook all the time." Zetsu said laughing.

"Well the last time Dana was in the kitchen she was slicing a store bought angel food cake and dipping it in store bought pre-melted chocolate. So….she don't got game and Itachi would kill me if he heard me say that." Hidan said

"Yeah and Marisol…..well poor thing, she burnt an entire loaf of bread in the toaster once. I mean she just kept shoving those slices in and kept burning them." Kisame said.

"In her defense, Deidara's hands were in her shorts and god only knows what he was doing in there. So technically, she deserves another chance." Zetsu said.

"Okay, I'm going to say this and I know I'll regret it later. When I met Dana, I thought she was absolutely beautiful but she's really….kind of ditzy. But…..then I met Marisol who is smoking hot but my god she's the dumbest girl on the planet I swear. Now, if Deidara were here right now, he would explode the van. But that is the truth." Sasori said.

"Does anyone wonder why we aren't dating anyone?" Hidan asked as he was now the driver.

"Hell, I know why! It's because we aren't trendy, we don't work out, we look horrible, we have bad hair, we aren't the least bit good at relationships, we suck at…." Kakuzu started.

"Okay, okay Kakuzu, I think you've made your point." Tobi said "Wow, why are we so lame?"

"We're not lame! We just have different priorities. We're into hobbies and stuff and Itachi and Deidara…we know who they're into." Kisame said.

Ah yes, nothing like classic Akatsuki bonding time in the van. Saosri's CRZR started ringing it's 'Permiscuous Girl' ringtone. Sasori reached for it.

"Hey Leader! Yeah, we're just outside Pensecola, Florida. Oh the drive has been great. No, no drama yet. Yeah, you'll never guess what those 2 fuckers did, they rented a Mercedes convertible! I was pissed but I'm over it now because we have had a nice drive. Yeah Hidan's driving, we'll be in Miami in around 4 hours. You wife wants what? Oh god, Leader, you know we can't get something like that! Wait….I'll send Deidara's sister and his girlfriend to pick that out. Okay, okay sure. Yep, we'll call when we get to the condo. See ya!"

"I'm guessing that was the Leader?" Zetsu asked.

"Yeah, his wife wants a thong….from Miami. WE CAN'T PICK THAT OUT!" Sasori said slightly mortified.

"Riiiiiiiiiight, that is so not out job." Kisame said.

Meanwhile, further up the highway….

"Hey! Look baby! We're in Georgia. Oh my god, there are peaches in this state, yeah!" Dana said enthusiasically."

"Really? I always thought this was the 'Orange State'." Marisol said.

"Hmmmm, I think all the oranges are in Florida, yeah." Deidara told her.

"Oh, okay." Marisol agreed.

"So what are we going to do when we get to the condo tonight? Itachi asked.

"Oh! You mean like have sex, yeah?" Dana asked.

"Well, of course, but what else are we going to do tonight?"

"MARISOL! We could so get a 6-pack of that Bacardi Mandarin Orange, change clothes and go lay in a hammock, yeah!" Deidara said completely thrilled. Marisol gasped.

"OKAY!" was her answer.

"Dana, baby, their evening is planned. What do you want to do?" Itachi asked.

"Hmmmmmm." Dana screamed. "Oh my god! Let's go down to the beach tonight and build a bonfire, yeah!"

"Sweetheart, that's a wonderful idea. We'll take that Light Corona that Sasori bought." Itachi said.

"You know what I love most about the beach, yeah? Deidara asked.

"What baby?" Marisol wondered. Deidara smiled all over.

"The sea birds, yeah!" It really didn't come as a total shocker to anyone in the car after all this was Deidara we were dealing with.

"But, why Hidan, why the hell of all things the Leader's wife could possibly choose…..why does she want THAT!?" Sasori was still a little taken aback by the Leader's request.

"I don't know, maybe she's trying to seduce him, seriously." Hidan answered as they headed toward Orlando.

"No, no they are way past that point in their lives." Kakuzu added.

"Hey! There's Disney World!" Tobi pointed like crazy.

"Tobi, that's not Disney World, that's a billboard advertising timeshares at Disney World." Kisame told him.

"But the Leader's wife has always been satisfied with….knick knacks! Why has her taste changed!" Sasori was still beating this.

"Dude, let it go. We'll send Itachi and them to get that for her and it will all be over." Zetsu said.

"You know what, we should really start discussing out sleeping arrangements." Itachi said.

"Itachi, we haven't even seen the condo, yeah. We can't just decide. Besides, everyone else is like ahead of us and you know they'll pick where they want to be, especially Sasori, he's just a bitch sometimes, yeah."

"No Deidara, I mean we are probably going to end up sharing a room so we need to work something out." Itachi said.

"What is there to work out, yeah?" Deidara asked. Itachi sighed; he was starting to lose patience with him. "Oh! You mean our clothes, yeah? You are right we do need to decide what needs ironed when we get in our room, yeah." Itachi shook his head.

"You are such a dumbass, do you know that? Do you know that you area a dumbass?" Deidara gasped.

"I am so not, yeah!"

Thank god this car ride was almost over. Surely if they make it through Georgia, they can make it the rest of the way.