Chapter 6: It Is Not Your Fault

I was running through the hallway at top speed. Most other students in the school were walking to their next class, but seeing as I had a two period day I was heading home. A few people called after me, but I ignored them and kept running.

I saw her jump onto the bus through one of the hall windows. I skidded left and ran out the front door to the school. When I got out the door I only got there in time to see the bus rounding the corner and disappearing from sight.

I kicked the bike rack and started the long walk home.

'It wasn't my fault she beat me there, I mean if Mr. O'Brien hadn't held me back after class to talk about it.' I clenched my fists in my leather pockets. 'It was his fault that I missed the bus.' I silently cursed my teacher and my own irresponsibility.

"Derek." I heard the voice emitting from the front of the class room. Looking up from my doodle on the desk top I gathered my stuff and walked over to my teacher.

I looked up at the clock above his desk. 'Only five more minutes till class ends.' I knew I had to get out of there quick to catch the early bus ride home.

Mr. O'Brien was my least favorite teacher. He hated hockey and never cut me any slack what so ever. I stood before his desk altogether more aware of the time than, obviously, he was. He glared at me as he put down the files and papers on the desk.

"As you may very well know Mr. Venturi you are an exceptionally unsuccessful student in my classroom. You clearly have been informed of your poor marks in this course. Now Mr. Venturi what will I have to do to make sure you take this seriously?"

I shrugged and glanced at the clock. Mr. O'Brien slammed the files down.

"Do you see Mr. Venturi? Do you see how much you obviously do not take an interest in your work?"

'This man could go on forever and I only have three more minutes.' I looked at him seemingly interested in what he had to say.

"Now that I have your attention Derek," He shuffled his papers, "The essay I have assigned. You will turn it in…on time…and it must be an A paper Mr. Venturi," He shuffled his papers once more, "You will fill these requirements Mr. Venturi or you will retake the class next quarter… in stead of playing hockey."

"What?! Mr. O'Brien I'm this school's only chance of making it to the finals. Not to mention the nationals! They need me."

"Hockey, Mr. Venturi, is dismal and unimportant when in comparison o the education of the minds of future generations," a grimace played across his lips, "Although I do believe that yours is one mind that we cannot help."

"Mr. O'Brien I…"

"You will get and A on the paper Mr. Venturi…. or you will fail my class."

"I…" The students had begun to file out of the classroom. The bell had rung and I was still in class. I looked at the door, and then at Mr. O'Brien. I wasn't going to give up this easily.

"I… Mr. O'Brien you are being unreasonable. Come on they NEED me out there."

"You have made that quite clear Mr. Venturi, but still you will turn it in, and to encourage you to do better you will join me after class for a month after it is due… if you fail to turn it in."

I gapped at the complete jerk before me. The class was empty. I needed to get home.

"I… I'll turn it in tomorrow." With that said I ran out of the room.

'I could have weaned him out of it, if it wasn't for Casey and the match. I was already pushing my luck by staying a minute too long.

I walked down the sidewalk and watched the blue sky as the dark clouds slowly consumed it.

A few girls walked past me. Giggling and making pointed whispers in my direction. I smirked in their direction and they fluttered away chatting and gossiping sounding like little mice after a nice meal.

'Casey would have laughed at me just then.' For a brief moment I saw Casey in a different light.

Sure she was annoying and bothersome not to mention that all she cared about were grades and keeping organized, but I had to admit that she always had some strong opinion about my love life.

She never kept it to herself either, not only that, she had to have her way. I scowled at the idea of Casey sitting smugly on the couch and I quickened my pace.

The grin would not come off of my face at all. I could hardly believe it. I had beat Derek. I held back a squeak of delight and closed my eyes, as the words passed though my thoughts.

In bold pink letters streaking across the darkness of y eyelids I saw "2/0". The bus hit a ditch in the road and startled I broke away from my thoughts.

Outside the window I saw the clouds looming over us, covering the sky's forget-me-not blue. "About time it started to rain, huh Britney." The girls behind me were speaking loudly. I turned around to see if they looked like they had the IQ of a cereal box.

One wore a bright pink shirt with a small duck on the shoulder and the other two wore black shirts with small roses and flowers intertwining delightedly across their small stomachs.

The pink shirted girls' face was pressed against the window, while the other two giggled and spoke in loud whispers.

I didn't bother to listen, 'freshmen.' I sighed rolling my eyes, and turned away from the jittery girls.

Soon after, the bus stopped, and a few other passengers followed the girls as they got off. I fidgeted in my seat and watched them hop onto the sidewalk. A small bundle of coat caught my eye as the bus pulled away. It was sitting on a bench near the bus stop for the city bus.

By the coats side was a small purple suitcase that looked oddly familiar. The coat wiggled in its seat and the hood slid of the head of its occupant. I rubbed my eyes and turned back.

'Marti?' The face turned and I saw her small brown-rimmed blue eyes looking rather red and puffy searching the street for the city transportation.

I shot up in my seat. "Young lady sit," the bus driver snarled at me through the rear view mirror.

I shook my head at a loss for words. 'Didn't she understand that Marti was alone sitting at the stop bind us?'

I bent down taking hold of my back pack and threw it over my shoulder. "I need to get off the bus. I'm sorry but I need to get off the bus," I said in a frightened and angry voice.

'Marti's alone.'

Everyone had stopped talking and the bus was filled with an awkward silence.

I shook my head. "Can you please stop the bus mam' I wish to get off." She looked at me, "Did you not understand me when I said to sit your rump down?"

The students around m started to whisper and gibber behind me. "Stop the BUS!" I said loudly. The bus driver pulled over and glared at me as I ran off towards the bench where I had seen Marti sitting.

'Marti was running away? Why? Is that why she had been acting so oddly lately?' I could feel my legs running underneath me speeding around the corner and I felt my knees shaking as I stopped where Marti sat.

She was still holding tightly to her suitcase, but she was no longer looking around. Her hood was off and she had her knees o her chest. Her small arms were crossed over her knees as she cried into them. Small sobs and hiccups came from the bundle before me.

I had never seen her cry like this, and it took me as nothing short of shock that she would ever try to leave home.

I sat beside Marti and watched her as she shifted away from me and looked up.

Her little cheeks were shinning slightly because of the still wet tears falling from her innocent eyes. Her lip quivered and a small boogie bubble burst from her nose. She fell into my lap and began to cry into my light blue jeans. I just let her cry there and held her even closer as the city bus came and went. I felt almost as though a stranger might come and strip her away from me. I brushed my hand over her back unsure, really, about what to do, and what was wrong.

The tears slowly stopped falling and her sobs became hiccups. I smiled down at her. Her face looked out at the suburban homes across the street. "Why?" Her voice was soft and hoarse from crying.

I didn't know what to answer, for I though I was going to be the one asking this. "Why what Smarti?" The voice emitting from my mouth did not sound like me. It was most motherly and I was a bit taken aback at hearing it come from me.

Marti did not seem to have noticed. She took in a shaky breath, and held her hands up to her face, and rather unnaturally, as though trying to hold back tears, she said, "Why doesn't Derek love me Casey?"

'Not love Marti?' I couldn't imagine another person loving her more. 'Derek does love her, but why would she ever doubt it?' I chose my words carefully, "Marti? Derek doesn't love anyone more." I ran my fingers through her hair.

She turned over. "Derek let us alone. Derek doesn't take care of you or me. Derek hates my mom." She squeaked in an effort to hold back her sobs and sat up next to me. She rubbed her eyes and wiped her nose on her sleeve. She turned her red puffy eyes at me, "Derek hates me because I am the one who made mommy go away."

I tried to register her words. "Derek … NO Marti you're wrong. Derek doesn't hate you."

"Then why did he say I wasn't his sister? He wouldn't say it if he didn't hate me. Why did dad yell at him then? Casey?"

I looked past my stepsister to see a red eyed Derek standing not three yards from the bench. 'Had he heard?'

"Why mum? My mother just looked down at me with the suitcase in her hands. Her fingers were long and a small shade of oink was glossed over her short nails. She was wearing a long green dress and I saw him waiting in the car down the street.

I looked out at him and with tears in my eyes. I looked up at my mom, "Him your going with him? What did I do wrong mom? What did I do to make you run away from me" I rubbed my eyes trying to stop myself from crying. "Mum I'll stop eating you cookies.. I'll be good at school…I won't make a mess… I'll stop playing hockey… just stay mum! Please. I need you here."

I spun around catching eye of my little sister in her crib. "What about Smarti mum? You can't leave her! She needs you too. Who's going to take care of Marti? Who's going to play hide and seek with her and make her cookies when she's scared?"

My mother looked down at me and shook her head. Small tears fell down to the wooden floor panels.

"When are you coming back mum?" Edwin had been watching from one of the stairs and looked out trough the bars. He now stood by my side.

"Derek… Edwin… I'm… I."

She kneeled down and kissed our cheeks. "I love you my little boys. I'll always love you." She got up ruffled a hand through Edwin hair and walked out the door.

I ran after her. "You're lying mum, if you love us… then why are you leaving us?!" I screamed angry and fearful. She didn't look back.

Marti cried in the background. I slammed the door behind me and shoved past Edwin. I reached into the crib and lifted the crying girl into my arms.

"I'll always love you. I'll never leave you."

'Had she forgotten?'

I walked over to my little sister and lifted her into my arms. I held her close to me as I felt her small arms wrap around my neck tightly. "I would never hate you Marti. I'll always love you. I'll never leave you. No matter who you are, where you came from, or what you do. I'll always love you."

In between sniffles and tears Marti buried her head into my neck. "I'm sorry I made mum leave Derek."

I pulled her down and set her on feet, and kneeling before her I looked her straight in the eyes. "Marti, listen to me. Mom… our mom… she made a mistake and she was too afraid to take on the consequences so she ran away. You were not the mistake Marti you were the miracle that came out of the bad things she did. Marti, she left you here knowing that we would always love you. And I always have and always will. It's not your fault Marti. It's not your fault she was afraid."

Marti looked up at me. "I… I'm… It is…"

I shook my head. "No Marti, it isn't your fault. Do you understand? It isn't."

She nodded. "Okay Derek."

I took her in my arms again and saw Casey standing over us. Her eyes were a deep ocean blue and for a moment I felt an understanding with her. We had both lost one of our parents. We both had a space missing in our hearts that other people were trying to replace. I stood up holding Marti and walked to Casey.

"I guess we're tied huh Case?"

She smiled, kissed Marti on the head and walked to the house.

I followed in after her and closed the door behind us.

"Casey, Derek, is that you? Oh hi guys… have you seen Marti?" My dad walked in from the kitchen and his eyes traveled to the purple suitcase in Casey's hand and the coat bundle that was Marti.

"Derek is that?" His hand went up to his mouth and he fell back onto the dinning room table. I didn't yell and I couldn't understand the lack of anger that there was in me. I handed a half-asleep Marti to Casey and walked over to my father.

"Dad?" I put a hand on his shoulder.

"I let her out of my sight and she tried to run away Derek. How can that be ok?"

He shook his head in his hands, "She could have… It would have been…"

"George. She's okay now. Marti is here. Thankfully nothing happened." Casey's words were shocking. Of all people I had expected her to come screaming at George for leaving Marti out of his sight. 'Speaking of which,' Casey was standing next to me but her arms were empty, "Where's Marti?"

Casey smiled and pointed at the little girl on the couch eating a bowl of cookies and milk. She was watching cartoons and laughing joyfully.

I smiled, reassured and the knot that had built in my stomach the moment Marti left my eyes disappeared. I turned back to my father. He looked calmer now as well, "Derek? Did she tell you why?"

"It was my fault pop. What I said the other day. Marti heard me." I saw the look on his face shift to anger and worry. "I talked to her though dad. She's… going to be ok. As long as we keep together we'll all be okay." Casey was smiling genuinely and nodding her head in agreement.

We both looked at George in reassurance. "Beside dad, we have Nora and Lizzie now." Casey nudged me. "And Casey's like a distant cousin twice removed."

George nodded and a smile traced over his lips. He hugged Casey and I tried to squirm away but he took old of me and hugged us both.

"What's with the public display of affection?" I heard the front door close shut and Nora, Lizzie, and Ed waltz in.

We all pulled apart and I tackled down Ed. 'It would be okay the family. Our family was ok.'

"You still owe me a game Derek!" She was sitting by my little sister and had both controllers in her hands. One was waving over her head.

I walked over and sat down to play some game with my step sister.

Derek plopped on the couch and took the remote from my hand. Ed and Lizzie played with us. Marti watched us play while eating cookies and my mother and stepfather sat on Derek's recliner watching us.

Slowly the family started to split away. Mom and George went to take Marti to bed and they retired soon after.

"Ed I think we should go to bed. We have quarter exams tomorrow." Lizzie put her controller down, and Edwin reluctantly put his down. "Lizzie's right guys, as much fun as it's been we have to get to bed." He stood up and followed Lizzie, who was standing on the landing waiting for him. "Good night guys," I said.

I heard their doors close upstairs and started to get up. Derek's arm reached out and grabbed a hold of mine. I looked down and saw his eyes on me. "What Derek?"

He let go of my arm instantly and patted the seat next to him, "We still need to play the rematch." I sat down and played.

Derek won.

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