"Oh god……what a rough night." Sasori mumbled to no one in particular with his head down between his arms gripping a cup of coffee tightly.
"Really? I slept great!" Hidan answered taking out a skillet to prepare his signature omelets.
"No wonder, you slept across the hall in the back bedroom, where I seriously think I will be sleeping on the floor tonight." Sasori answered him.
"Has anyone seen Tobi this morning?" Kisame asked.
"He went to the beach to swim." Kakuzu answered.
"Damn it! He's not supposed to swim unsupervised!" Kisame said quickly running to the front door of the condo.
"So, what's on the agenda for today?" Zetsu asked.
"It appears to be Hidan's great omelets, a stroll down the beach , I was thinking I would go to the wine and cheese tasting at the plaza at 1:00 today so if anyone wants to go and maybe….." Sasori was interrupted by screaming. "Why, why, why! I never escape the fucking screaming! Oh my god! I'm leaving Akatsuki as soon as we get back from this trip." Sasori said less than thrilled.
"Oh my god! I have to tell you guys something, yeah!" Dana said running into the living room, her blue eyes shinning. "Okay, so I like so thought that this was the week of my period, yeah……but it's so not until next week, yeah!" Dana squealed. Sasori, Hidan, Zetsu, and Kakuzu just stared at her for a moment.
"Dana, was that really worth the screaming?" Sasori asked as calmly as possible.
"Don't you know what this means, yeah!? I don't have to wear my stupid period clothes, yeah!" That was Dana's announcement. She ran back into the master bedroom to dig through her suitcase.
"See a long, long time ago the Leader let a dumb ass named Deidara into Akatsuki….he didn't screen Deidara to see if he had a sister that Itachi would get the hots for." Sasori said.
"Yeah and none of us ever planned on Deidara dragging a girlfriend along." Hidan said dishing out the first omelet to Zetsu. Speaking of which Marisol appeared in the kitchen ready for the day.
"You look nice, how did you sleep?" Sasori said already knowing the answer to the question. He asked this partially out of spite.
"Oh! I slept great! But you know, I seriously think it was because Deidara completely wore me the hell out and I just don't understand it because I can typically keep up with him but oh my god! Last night…." Sasori cut her off.
"Okay, okay, okay I think I get the picture Marisol.
"Marsiol, do you want an omelet?" Hidan asked her.
"Is it made with egg substitute and low fat cheese?"
"Hmmm…no." Hidan said.
"Oh well thanks anyway, we'll just go get some orange juice and maybe a whole grain bagel later on." Marisol said.
"Doesn't she look pretty, yeah?" Deidara asked whoever would answer him wrapping his arms around Marisol.
"She does. So what are you two doing today? Sasori said quickly.
"We're going shopping with Itachi and Dana this morning and at 2:30 we're coming back to get some lunch, spend some time by the pool and tonight…..we're so totally going to Caliente the hottest, trendiest Latin American ball-room dance club in Miami, yeah! I CAN'T WAIT! Me and Marisol are going to dance the salsa, meringue, samba…."
"Deidara, do you ever stop and think that maybe sometimes you just talk all the time?" Sasori said rather pissed at this point. Deidara ignored Saosri.
"Oh my god! Sasori, wait until you see my ballroom suit, yeah……it was handmade in Madrid. Although I haven't' seen Marisol's dress although she says it's a real heart stopper, yeah. "
"Trust me I dread going to this Latin place tonight." Itachi said softly to Kisame as he fidgeted with his extremely pricy watch.
"Well, while the four of you are out today the leader's wife wants a thong." Zetsu said with disturbance in his voice.
"Oh, okay, yeah." Dana said calmly.
"Alright, sure." Everyone else chimed in completely undisturbed by the leader's wife's request.
"What's wrong with you people!? Are you not completely freaked out by that!" Kakuzu said.
"I'm wearing one now, are you freaked out by that, yeah?" Dana asked. Kakuzu swallowed hard.
"Yes." He muttered softly. Not much else was said before they left on their morning shopping adventure.
"You know, Kisame has been gone for a long time, seriously. Do you think something happened to him and Tobi?" Hidan asked flipping out a ham and cheese omelet.
"Hey! Here's an idea, let's get ready and go down to the beach, look for Kisame and Tobi and take our omelets to go." Zetsu suggested.
"Great idea!" Kakuzu quickly chimed in.
"I'll get the sunblock, fill the cooler with corona, and grad a few towels." Sasori said.
"Don't forget the radio!" Hidan called as he continued to be the omelet master. "Seriosuly, who wants salsa on their western omelet?"
"I'll take salsa and Jalapenos!" Kakuzu yelled from the other room.
"You know what we left at the Leader's house? Our giant ass Akatuski umbrella, the one with the red clouds all over it." Sasori said coming into the kitchen to fill the cooler with ice.
"Hmmmmm, maybe we can talk some girls into letting us share an umbrella with us." Hidan said confidently.
"Well that's a lovely little plan Hidan but I'm a fucking redhead! No one wants me 43 year old ass!" Sasori said spitefully.
"Dude! You give up way too easily, seriously. Or I guess it could be that you've had to deal with a lot of competition, but let's you and I stick together, we'll get an umbrella with some friendly ladies. We'll make certain they know that Kisame is harmless and when Zetsu is soaking up the sun he's pretty much harmless. See, we're in!" Hidan encouraged him.
"Alright, but only because I totally trust you." Sasori commented, still a little skeptical. And so as everyone gathered up their crap, boys day out was about to begin.
"Tobi! Tobi! You stupid idiot! You're not supposed to swim out that far!" Kisame yelled as he swam out waaaaaay into the waves to retrieve Tobi the moron.
"I'm sorry Kisame! I just started paddling and the current came and then my float was just so fun! I kept spinning around and the raft riders! They were fun too! Then I ended up way out here with my Finding Nemo water wings deflating and now my inner tube has seaweed all over it!" Tobi whined.
"Just shut up and hold on to my back. I'm a champion swimmer I'll take you back to shore and blow up your water wings again. God, Tobi you need to listen! When we tell you not to go out past your knees……we mean it! You know what, I should send you to the kiddie pool!" Kisame scolded.
"No! No! No! Kisame please! I want to swim with you!" Tboi pleaded.
"Tobi! You can't even swim properly why the hell do you think we made you put on the water wings and the Strawberry Shortcake inner tube!?" This was already turning into an eventful day….