"I'm starting to think we brought too much stuff." Kakuzu said as he Zetsu, Hidan and Sasori stumbled across the sand with their hands full of crap.
"No, no you can never get too much stuff." Hidan told him.
"Oh it figures you would say that, what with bringing all your religious shit." Kakuzu had just started a fight.
"Oh you take that back! You stupid good for nothing money hording bastard!" Hidan shouted through the large pile of beach accessories.
"I will not take that back because you know it's true! You know you always cloud the picture with your religious shit!" Kakuzu said.
"No I don't! God! At least I am religious! You on the other hand are just an uneducated ass!" Hidan yelled.
"What the hell Hidan! Education and religion aren't even related. God, research what you are talking about before you speak!" Kakuzu getting angrier by the minute.
"Oh yeah, well…..aaaaaggggghhh!" Hidan was now spilling into the sand along with everything in his arms. Kakuzu sighed.
"You moron! You tripped on a crab!" Kakuzu said as a crab went scurrying off in the other direction. The giant yellow beach tote spilled everywhere.
"Hey are you okay?" a brunette with a sandwich in her had asked coming over to Hidan.
"He's fine. He was just doing what he does best….fighting with that guy and ruining my reputation as a human being….oh wait I'm not even completely human, god I am so screwed as a man." Sasori mumbled the last part to himself. The woman laughed.
"I'm Lola. Nice to meet you."
"I'm Sasori. I would shake your hand but I'm holding our cooler full of beer and a wad of beach towels. We're trying to find am umbrella to park under, but the situation looks bleak." Sasori said.
"Oh, well you guys could share with me. It's just me and a co-worker of mine. We're here on business. We really wouldn't mind." Sasori blinked several times. Hidan was right.
"Um…..okay. Oh, but just so you know we're part if a super evil criminal organization so if you think my plant friend and my shark friend look a little sinister….that's why."
"Super evil criminal organization?" The woman questioned.
"Oh, it's not like that. I mean our greatest crime is….." Sasori had to think fast. He snapped his fingers. "Crimes against fashion! I mean look at us we don't fit in on Miami Beach!" she laughed again.
"Well, follow me." So Lola led Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu and Zetsu through a crowd of people toward her and a friends umbrella. "Wow, you guys sure have a lot of stuff." Lola commented as Zetsu continuously tripped over sun bathers.
"We like to be prepared." Hidan said, now that he had completely rearranged all the stuff he had dropped earlier.
"You know. I had no clue that this beach would be so ridiculously crowded! And god, everyone here is so much prettier than us!" Kakuzu said. "Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to do that!" he quickly said to two women. He had stepped in their pudding snacks.
"This beach is definitely crowded and lined with beautiful people." Lola said spitefully. "Here we go. This is my friend Karen. Karen these are some guys who need a place to camp out on the beach."
"Hi guys!" she said cheerfully. Hidan and Sasori began dropping their arm loads of junk all around.
"Okay, who needs a beach towel? There's this Corona beach towel, tropical flower beach towel, plain navy blue beach towel…." Sasori paused a moment. "A Dolce and Gabbana beach towel, damn you Deidara." He muttered to himself. " A striped beach towel we took from the leader's beach house last year, and a……..my little pony beach……towel. My little pony what the fuck?" After the distribution of towels Zetsu caught sight of Kisame. Kisame waved to them and hurried over to the umbrella.
"Oh god…..stupid Tobi! Stupid, stupid Tobi!" Kisame said frustrated. "Oh and I don't know who you ladies are but hey! Get this, first Tobi starts drifting out to sea because his swimming skills suck ass! Then I take him to the kiddie pool where he starts flailing like crazy because he still thinks he's in the ocean where he pretty much soaks everyone around him! Then I pull him out of the kiddie pool, blow up his Finding Nemo water wings and threw him in the normally sized pool." Kisame sighed and sat down under the umbrella.
"So…….where is he now?" Sasori asked.
"Hell, I don't know. After he started spinning around in the pool with that damn Strawberry Shortcake inner tube laughing like an idiot. I swiped this towel and left him." Kisame answered.
"Hmmmm sounds like he's happy, seriously." Hidan replied.
"Hey, Sasori would you care to rub this sun block on the backs of my shoulders so I can lay out in the sun a little bit. I have really sensitive shoulders." Sasori blinked a couple of times and looked dumbfounded at Lola.
"You…..want…….ME…..to put……THIS…….on…..YOU." Sasori asked skeptically.
"Yeah!" she sad affirmatively, smiling all over.
"Yeah, okay." Sasori said thrilled. And so Lola laid down for Sasori to prepare her for a sun bath. Of course he wasn't expecting her to untie the top of her swim suit so he could get the base of her neck.
It had turned out to be a splendid afternoon, no one got electrocuted on the radio cord. Hidan and Zetsu had a great fresbee game going on with 3 others guys who were presumed to be gay on the beach. Kisame had swam 37 laps in the ocean. Kakuzu had somehow pulled a metal detector out of their beach tote and now he was searching to anything metal on the beach, and Sasori was involved in the most delightful conversation with Lola. Karen had left to go to the pool's swim up bar.
"Hey you know, I'm going to a wine and cheese tasting at 1:00 today. You should come with me." Sasori said to Lola.
"Really? I'd love to come. Let's see it's 11:00 right now. I'll go get dressed at 11:45 and then meet you where?" Lola asked.
"Hmmmm…well I'm in the third condo unit so just wait in the parking lot and I'll meet you there." Sasori told her. This was truly one of the top 10 days of Sasori's life, days were good when Itachi and Deidara weren't involved. Speaking of them……had they maxed every credit card they owned yet?