Disclaimer: don't own

Summary: Makoto what are you running from?

Warning: drugs, shoujo-ai kind of

Epiphany: Thoughts of the Broken-

END OF THE ROAD…

Another failed date. Mark number 20. Not like this was anything to be proud of. It's not like everyone else has a date. Really in my group, only 4 people out 10 where going out with someone. Nothing to worry about. Then why does it not feel right?

I slam a bottle of water as I prepare to start lifting. I spend hours in my living room lifting arm weights. The music plays softly as I drown it out. I drown all of it out. I even drown out a knock at my door.

For many days I have been trying to get a hold of Ami. She hasn't responded to any of my calls. I could feel something was not right when I saw her last. There was a deep cutting sensation in my stomach. It's like bile. I drown out the taste I suddenly feel.

A few reptions later my phone rings.

"yeah…"

"It's me Mako." Ami's voice sighs.

"Where are you?"

"At you're door idiot." She sighs again. I blink in disbelief. With the phone still in my hand I make my way to the door. I open it seeing Ami tapping her foot. "Didn't believe me?" she sounds slightly hurt by this notion.

"It's just I felt you would call before you just showed up." I move to let her gain entrance to my apartment.

"Well my neighbors where having a loud party. I couldn't sleep so I thought to see you." She enters looking around.

"It's the middle of the night." I start to argue.

"You act like I can't tell time Mako." She reaches into her pocket pulling out a bottle. "So working out again?" she questions as she puts some pills into her mouth. Her hair violently shakes as she downs the pills.

I get that gut feeling again. She starts to put the bottle back as I take it out of her hands.

"You want some? I think you should try the white oval one. It will help with working out." She speaks so frankly. I open the bottle looking into it. All pills of shapes and sizes were contained within it.

"Ami you should stop this." I speak to her. She turns away.

"It's not going to kill me. Grow up Mako." I can feel her roll her eyes at me as she turns back to me.

"Is there some reason you're doing this?" I shake the bottle of random pills. Then taking the bottle, stuff it into my jeans packet. She sighs.

"I can always get more." She jumps onto my cubits. She waves her legs back and forth.

"I don't want you to do them any more." I state.

"You're not my keeper." She states back.

"Then I'll tell you're mother." I threaten.

"Ha. Oh no you're going to tell my mommy!" she cockily spoke. She has changed. She's not the same as she used to be. What has gotten into her? Right the drugs. Something must have triggered it right?

Ok drug therapy 101: find out what the cause of the drug is.

"Why do you take them?" I softly speak watching her looking around.

"They make me feel good." She spoke in earnest. Ok reform the question.

"Why did you start?" She paused at this. Her mind thinking. Her hands push against her temples.

"I don't know. I think I need time." I question with my face. She doesn't elaborate what she meant. She just jumps down. She smiles. Walking closer to me. "Come on Mako don't be this way." She coos. I feel myself laugh. Ami cooing. It never accrued to me.

Her smile deepens as the space between us shrinks. I feel her fingers dance up my thigh stopping at the pill bottle in my pocket. I stop her hand telling her with my eyes, no. She sighs and turns around.

"Ami you know I care. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't" I try to reason with her. "You can stay here the night. In the morning we can do whatever you want." I pat her head. "Just promise me that you will answer my calls."

As I speak the last of the words Ami turns back to me. I just know I have to baby sit her now. It might be hard and tiring, I need to keep her clean. I feel she can be better. She is better then this.

"Fine, fine mother…" she growls. "Can we go to bed now?" she spoke in a childish voice.

I hear the birds sing in the morning sun. I reach feeling cold. No she's not there. I sigh deeply sitting up. The sun feels distant as I stand up feeling my jeans. So this is what it feels like. When you do every thing you possibly could.

When you're at the end of the road…