A/N:

NINJAAAAA! Sorry, I had to do that…I swear it's addicting. My friend does it all the time. O.o;

ANYWAY. Onto the next chapter!

Disclaimer: FullMetal Alchemist characters, references, and other related indicia © Hiromu Arakawa. Only Alexandra, Jonathan, Alan, Sophie, and Yuki belong to me.

FullMetal Alchemist

Chapter 3: A Pervert and his Candy

Yuki laughed at the joke Alexandra had just told. The brunette grinned back and stopped in front of their apartment. Yuki fumbled through her pockets to search for the key, and shoved all her shopping bags (and hell, there was a lot of them) into Alexandra's arms. Alexandra giggled and waited for Yuki to open the door. She dropped the bags 'accidentally' and that's when she noticed someone leaning against their building's corner. She eyed him suspiciously and bent over to pick up the bags. That's when she saw him eye her chest. Her eyes widened when she saw what he was doing. Alexandra straightened up.

"PERVERT!" she screamed at him angrily.

"Wha-? What, no! No, I'm not a pervert!" he protested, putting his hands up in front of his face.

"My ass you aren't!" she spat.

"And what a nice ass it is," he smirked.

"Okay, you bastard, you asked for it!" She stomped on the ground and sent him flying up into the air, then crashing back into the sidewalk. He landed on his face with a thud and started to twitch uncontrollably. Yuki, by this time, had found the key. She turned around and saw the guy lying on the ground. She laughed and ran next to him, then kneeled down and started poking his side.

"Ha, ha," she laughed, "poke, poke, poke!"
They guy groaned and rolled onto his back, his eyes only half open. They made eye contact and Yuki stopped poking him immediately and jumped up.

"Come on, Alexandra…let's go!" she shouted, dragging her confused friend up to their apartment.

Once inside, Yuki locked the door with all 15 locks, then pressed her back against it.

"Yuki, what the fuck is going on?" Alexandra asked.

"Oh, um, noooothing," Yuki sang, skipping away from the door. When she was about two meters away she looked back to make sure nobody had followed them.

"Cut the crap, Yuki! I know you're hiding something!" Alexandra backed Yuki into a corner. "Spill!"

"Um," she stuttered, "hey, look! A mongoose!"

"What the hell? What's a mongoose?"

"Um, a marmot?"

"What is a marmot?"

"Oh, I give up! I'll tell you! Just…back away a little, mmkay?"

"Fine." Alexandra dragged Yuki to the ratty old couch and threw her onto it. "Now, who was that guy, why was he looking at my chest, and why are you so afraid of him?"

"Roy Mustang, 'cause he's a pervert, and I think if he recognizes me he'll try to stuff me into a miniskirt."

"Okaay," said Alexandra, "I heard that entire explanation but I still don't know what's going on."

"Well, that's all you need to know. BYE!" She jumped up and bolted towards her room.

"Wait!" Alexandra yelled, running after her. "I have more questions!" Yuki slammed her door shut and Alexandra ran into it. Then she opened it again and stuck her head out through the crack.

"Sorry, the Yuki Question and Answer Hotline is closed for today. Please leave a message at the beep. BEEP!" Then she ducked back inside and locked her room from the inside. Alexandra was left standing outside, with a very cute and confused look on her face.

Meanwhile, outside, Roy Mustang had got up and was looking up at the apartment building.

"My God, there's something familiar about that girl…ah, well, I'll look into it tomorrow. Or my name isn't THORAX THE IMPALER! No, wait, I mean, Roy Mustang…yeah, that's it…" He looked around with shifty eyes and ran into an alley.

xxXxx

"Ah, what a nice morning!" Yuki exclaimed, kicking her door open and wandering outside into the kitchen with nothing on by a robe. "Don't you think it's a nice morning?" she asked Alexandra, who was at the stove.

"Yep, it's perfect," Alexandra replied, flipping a pancake. "I hope you're hungry. I think I made enough of these to feed an army! And why the hell are you so happy? You're never this happy." She reached over to feel her forehead. "Well, you don't have a fever…oh, maybe you're in looove, with that pervert from yesterday!"

"Am not!" she protested.

"Don't try to fool me, I saw the way you poked him," said Alexandra with a cheesy grin.

"I, uh, I was only poking him to see if he was alive! God!"

"Ha, ha, Yuki and Roy, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g…"

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" Yuki screamed, chasing her around with a frying pan.

Alexandra laughed and slipped on the floor in her white-socked feet and managed to escape Yuki's wrath. She started giggling uncontrollably; so hard, in fact, that her pink hat was quivering on top of her head and messing up her already messy brown hair. She was only dressed in her brother's white collared shirt, and it reached to about her mid-thigh. Her blue eyes were brimmed with tears of joy as she got up, smiling at Yuki.

Yuki had dropped the frying pan and ran a hand through her long black hair, tugging at some stubborn knots and brushing it from her face. She rubbed tears of joy from her own purple eyes and straightened her robe. She ran over to the stove, her bare feet slapping against the cold floor, where she grabbed a pancake and stuffed it in her mouth. It was sticking out slightly, so Alexandra walked over and shoved the whole thing into her face. Then she grabbed one for herself, ate it, then grabbed another and another…

Pretty soon, all the pancakes were gone and the two roommates sat on the floor, full and happy.

"So, Yuki, what do you want to do now?" Alexandra asked with a yawn. She had two slightly sharper top teeth, because of the whole deal of being a human chimera, but it was only noticeable if you looked really hard.

"I don't know," Yuki replied casually. "How about we go on a walk, or something? I think it's a nice day for a walk."

"Yeah, I hear it's going to snow today…hopefully I'll be able to catch the first snowflake on my tongue. I love doing that!" She grinned, and then her expression changed and she snapped her fingers. "Oh, yeah, I just remembered! I have to go check the shop!"

"For what?" Yuki asked, looking at her fingernails.

"Just to look around, you know, to make sure everything's in its place. Mr. Isis said I could take some candy for being such a good employee, too," she added, putting on her cutest smile.

"Pff, figures he would let you…I think he has a crush on you," scoffed Yuki.

"Oh, shut up!" said Alexandra, hitting her friend playfully. "He's like 80 years old! Plus, he's a really nice man!"

"Sure, that's what they all say. Then the kindly old man turns out to be an axe murderer…and guess who the first one to go is?"

"Who is it?"

"The girl he always favoured!" Yuki burst out in maniacal laughter and fell backwards, clutching her stomach.

"Oh, ha, ha, that's hilarious," Alexandra said sarcastically, standing up and heading towards her room. "And I'd advise you to change into something more appropriate…unless you want pervert boy to stalk you."

"Oh, shut up!"

xxXxx

Alexandra observed herself in the mirrored doors of the front hall closet. She was waiting impatiently for Yuki.

Ugh, I may as well check over my clothing…let's see, what's first? Oh, right. Hat, check! She played with the furry ears of the brown hat she had put on. Okay…stripes? She held her arms out and looked at the fitted sweater under the loose brown t-shirt she was wearing. It was lined with orange and peach. Okay, skirt, pin? She spun in front of the mirror and watched her brown skirt twirl around her legs. The gold pin was decorating the front thing. Brace? She quickly pulled up her left sleeve and checked that the clasps on the steel covering were tightly fastened. She rolled down the sleeve and sighed. Boots, gloves, blah, blah, blah… Her steel-toed combat boots were on her legs (no duh) and reached just below her knees, and her black gloves were on her hands (double duh). Yuki? She looked around. Not check! Where the hell is she? "YUKI!" Alexandra yelled. "GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!" Suddenly Yuki slid in beside her and fell to the ground.

"I'm here, I'm here! Oh my God! You're so demanding!" she muttered, standing up.

"Yeah, well, because of you, I had to check every fucking piece of clothing I'm wearing! What took you so long, anyway?" Yuki was wearing a pair of plain blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and a black hoodie. She dusted off her sleeve and stepped into her winter boots.

"I was choosing my clothes carefully," Yuki explained.

"Right," Alexandra said, rolling her eyes.

xxXxx

Alexandra unlocked the candy shop and stepped inside, looking around. The lights were off and it was sort of creepy…she shook her head and stepped into the back to check if everything was alright. Suddenly she heard a creaking sound. After stuffing a whole bunch of candy into her pockets she ran out of the small room.

"Yuki…? Is that you?" she asked. There was no answer. She took another step and Yuki fell down on the floor in front of her. Alexandra fell over in fright, but quickly jumped back up. "What the fuck?" Alexandra asked.

"Hi," said Yuki from her spot on the floor.

"Where the hell did you come from?" Yuki motioned up. "What?! How the fuck did you get on the ceiling?!"

"How should I know?" Again, there was a creepy noise from the front of the shop. Yuki jumped into Alexandra's arms and clamped onto her. "Whassat?" she whispered.

"I don't know…let's go check it out!"

"What? Are you insane?"

"I don't know. Probably. Come on!"

"No way! You go!"

"Suit yourself." Alexandra dropped Yuki on the floor and made her way to where the noise had come from. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she carefully stepped around a figure on the ground and turned on the lights. "Don't move!" she yelled.

"Ah!" Roy shouted, shielding his eyes from the bright light.

"Oh my fucking God! It's you! Pervert boy!" she screamed, bringing Yuki running.

"No, I swear, I'm not a pervert! I just happen to like following girls around and miniskirts." He stopped. "Uh, you didn't hear that."

"What the hell do you want?"

"Um…I'm here to, uh, buy candy for this, uh, little girl I know!" he lied.

"Oh my God," Yuki said evenly, "not only are you a pervert, you're a pedophile too!" She ran up to him and kicked him out the door. Alexandra threw a chair at him, followed by a lollipop.

"There's your candy, pervert! The chair comes at no extra cost! Now stay away from us!" Alexandra yelled.

xxXxx

"Oh my God," Roy muttered to himself, trailing Yuki and Alexandra as they walked down the street. "Those girls are insane. At least this lollipop tastes good."

"Why do you think he's following us?" Alexandra asked. "And how do you know him?"

"He's a pervert and a pedophile, isn't that enough? Seriously."

"Yeah, that's a pretty good reason. Maybe he just wants candy! But how do you know him?"

"Are you stupid? What kind of a reason is that?"

"Yeah, you're right."

"I know I am."

"Yuki?"

"What?"

"Is there a reason you're not answering my question, or do you just not want to answer?"

Yuki didn't say anything.

"Oh, come on, Yuki! Who is he?"

"Ugh, fine, I'll tell you… he's-"

Yuki was cut off abruptly when Alexandra was thrown backwards into a wall by some unknown force. When the dust cleared, so to speak, she saw that the unknown force was actually a boy.

His blond hair was tied into a braid.