A/N: If there are any typos or missed words, my apologies…my editor is busy and she hasn't been able to get my chapters back to me. I've been sitting on this one since I started this story…this is actually the first chapter I wrote for the story and I am dying to get it up! I am interested to know what you think about the shift in the story and in the mentalities.

Finally, I spent about 2 hours listening to that interview over and over to get the dialogue, verbatim. The transcripts from the Howard Stern Show were used without permission.

Again, I'm not trying to make anyone mad at Cena, this is how I felt when I listened to it; it broke my heart for the girl. And for those who have asked is it real...yes it is; that's the sad part about it.

Chapter 9

The traffic on Charles Street was unusually heavy, especially for this time of night. It seemed like every car was moving at a snail's pace; for all intents and purposes, Charles Street was nothing more than a giant parking lot. It was a good thing that Avery was already at Parker's apartment and was able to set the timer on the VCR. Otherwise, this night would have been really shitty.

Parker glanced over at the clock on the radio. It was already after ten and she knew that she had missed the Howard Stern show. Not that she was a fan of Howard or anything, but, she had been waiting for this particular show for three weeks. John Cena was going to be Howard Stern's guest.

It had been a little over a month since that one incredible night and still the mere mention of his name, brought a smile to her face. It was more than just him being sexy and sweet…it was even more to it than them sleeping together. John Cena had confirmed what she had always believed; despite her weight, she was still desirable.

Parker had hooked up many times before, but the majority of her hook ups had been with black men. For some reason, her weight didn't seem to play that big of an issue with them. They seemed to like the fact that she was "thick"; maybe it was a cultural thing. And even though she could get laid, she never seemed to cross over to that "girlfriend" status. It wasn't as bad as it seemed and Parker didn't dwell on it. She still had fun and managed to get a few good ones out every now and then. But, there was always a part of her that wondered; what was it about her that completely turned off white guys? John was the first one in ages that gave her the time of day; unless of course she counted Randy. And, he was so far off of her bullshit meter that she couldn't tell if he was serious or not. It felt good to know that she wasn't undesirable to an entire race, even if it was only for one night.

Finally, the traffic started to pick up and before long, she was wheeling Avery's car in front of her apartment complex. With some difficulty, Parker managed to grab her backpack, library books and the box of Papa John's Pizza, before closing the car door with her hip. After a brief struggle with the outside door, she made her way up to the second floor and stood outside of her apartment. There was no way she would be able to use her key, so instead she kicked the door with her foot, hoping that Avery would answer.

"Hey." Avery greeted her friend, reaching over to take the pizza box and a few books out of her hands.

Parker grunted, dropping the rest of the items on the table by the door. "Sorry, I'm late. That stupid study group went over. Then I had to go to the library..." She walked over to her bedroom and kicked her shoes inside before returning to the living room. "You taped it right?" She watched Avery nod. "You didn't watch it yet, did you?"

Avery shrugged and refused to make eye contact.

"Avery! We were supposed to watch it together." She walked over to the cabinet and pulled out two paper plates and two plastic cups. "Oh well, you're just gonna have to sit through it again." Parker was a little annoyed, but she was too excited to pay much attention. "The pizza's probably cold now, but I can pop it in the oven."

Avery shook her head. "I'm not hungry."

"What's wrong with you?" Parker raised her brow and shrugged when Avery dismissed her question. "So…what are you waiting for? Crank that baby up."

"It really wasn't that good." Avery stood stoically with her eyes fixed on the small spot on Parker's carpet. She wasn't about to tell Parker about the interview. It was her job, as her best friend, to protect Parker. "Let's just watch a movie or something."

"Have you bumped your head, for real this time? Johnny was on Stern and you want me to watch a fucking movie? Did I say that shit when you made me sit through all of the fucking Hardy Show episodes?" Parker walked over to her television and grabbed the remote. "No I didn't. And, you know how much Matt Hardy's voice gets on my nerves and he talks all the fucking time. Now, sit your narrow ass down and let's do this."

This was going to be ugly and she had to try to stop it. Avery took the remote from Parker's hand and held it firmly in her own. "Park…John Cena's an asshole. I really don't want you to watch that."

Why was Avery acting like that? What could John have possibly said that would make her want Parker to miss it, when she knew how much she crushed on that man? "Give me the remote, Avery."

"Please, Park…let's just do something else."

Parker could feel the panic start to run through her. John must have said something pretty shady to make Avery act like this. "What the fuck is your problem? Give me the damn remote."

Reluctantly Avery handed it over and sat quietly on the end of the couch. She knew what John said and if she could have, she would have shielded Parker from it. But knowing Parker the way she did, there was no way in hell that was going to happen.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

John was so beautiful. He was wearing camouflage shorts and an army green T-shirt. He was being himself; witty, funny, and sexy. There was no reason that Avery should've tried to deny Parker of this feast for her senses. The line of questioning from Howard Stern ranged from John's weight lifting history to groupies on the road. It was at that topic that Parker's ears perked up. Although she knew he was probably getting laid by a different girl every night, she was still interested in his sexual behaviors.

It wasn't until Howard Stern asked one question, did Parker understand why Avery didn't want her to watch. "Would you ever do a fat chick?" Parker felt her heart start to pick up rhythm as the smile on her face slowly started to slide away.

"Absolutely. Believe it or not, there was an instance not to long ago, where I hit the 280 mark." As soon as those words came out of his mouth, Parker felt hers go dry. She couldn't believe that he had just put her on blast like that. And though he didn't name names, she knew damn well, he was talking about her.

She sat her plate of pizza on the coffee table; suddenly she didn't have an appetite. She watched as Howard Stern raised his eyebrows and his mouth hung open. "You banged a chick…wait, let me get this; International Wrestling Superstar, John Cena, took home a 280 pound chick?"

"She took me home. I didn't take her home…" Was he doing this for ratings? Parker had only watched Howard Stern on a handful of occasions, but she knew he was a shock jock. He asked embarrassing questions, trying to make his guests look like they were as much of an asshole as he was. And right now, Stern was succeeding because, John was looking like a bigger asshole every second that she watched.

"Let's turn this off." Avery's voice tore Parker's gaze from the television. She knew it was only going to get worse and she really didn't want to sit through listening to that bastard talk about doing her best friend greasy, one more time. "Please, Parker?"

"No." Parker was mortified, but she couldn't turn away. No matter how excited she had been about sleeping with John, there was always something that didn't feel right to her. Now it was time to validate that little voice in the back of her mind.

"Were you attracted to her?" Just the shear look of disgust on Howard's face was enough to bring a sting to Parker's eyes.

"Absolutely and it was a great experience."

Howard Stern wasn't giving up and Parker sat there like she was watching an accident happen. She didn't want to look, but she couldn't turn away. "Did she have a nice face?"

Parker could feel the bile in her stomach start to rise. She knew what John was going to say, but it didn't stop her from praying that he would prove her wrong. "Uh…she had a nice smile." She wasn't going to cry, not over this. She had heard that all of her life. Why should John Cena have been any different?

"Why did you do that? I don't understand." The more Stern talked, the sicker Parker felt. She knew he wasn't going to stop; not until she felt like the fattest, ugliest, most insignificant, piece of shit on the entire fucking planet. And judging by the way this conversation was going, it wouldn't take that long for that to happen.

"Well, first it was a challenge set out by the entire roster. It was a thing like they were like, ' You won't do it'. I'm pretty polite and respectful to everybody and there was a moment and then she walked away and the boys were like, 'You aren't gonna do it'. So I said, 'I would do it'. And it wasn't like, tail tucked between my legs or anything, I said I was gonna do it and I was gonna enjoy it. And it was a great night." A dare…she was a fucking dare? Parker had been many things, a pity fuck, an experiment, a secret; but she had never been a dare. That was a new one and just when she thought she had heard it all. John Cena managed to make the best night of her life, her worst fucking mistake, in a matter of minutes.

"What was great about it? So… when a 280 pound woman takes off her clothes, that has to be a shock-a-roo." Howard Stern wouldn't let up. He had done his job. He made John look like a dick and made Parker feel like shit, what else was there? How much more was she supposed to take? Didn't they think that maybe the grotesque, 280 pound woman that they were talking about might actually be listening? Even though she knew that Stern didn't give a fuck, she had hoped that John would.

"Howard, it was lights on… everything was good, no lights off. And it wasn't like I'm gonna do it and get out. It was a great experience." Parker cringed at the way John said it was a great experience; like he had just gone to Europe for the first time or something. It was sex; he wasn't a virgin…it wasn't his first time doing it. But the first time being a big girl, catapulted her in to the 'experience' category. She wasn't an experience; she was a fucking human being with feelings that he was tap dancing all over.

"When she took her clothes off, did you see the fat and was it jiggling?" Parker could feel Avery's hand touch her arm, when Stern asked that question. But she wouldn't turn around to face her. She had always been tough around Avery…she was the strong one that didn't give into people's talk. If she would have faced Avery, her face would have told her that people's words hurt; they hurt a lot.

Parker didn't want to hear John's answer. But at this point, what more could he possibly say to make her feel any worse? "I saw a whole lot of woman."

"Did she blow you?" Parker didn't have any regrets about her night with Cena before, but now she wished she could take it all back. She could almost, almost, excuse his behavior and chalk it up to him just being a man. But not now…there was no way.

Then John answered, making her heart sink a little further in her chest. "Absolutely."

"I bet it was good, because she was grateful." She was grateful to be sucking his cock? What the fuck did Howard Stern think she was? She wasn't Jabba the Hut…she was a fucking medical student, she was a daughter, she was a woman. Parker was a fan of a man that she thought she had made a brief connection with. She wasn't fucking grateful.

"It was great." Parker could no longer decide if she was more pissed at Howard Stern's questions or at John for answering them. He talked about her as if they didn't share a conversation before hand. He was acting like she was this lonely desperate girl that he took pity on and made her day by letting her give him a blowjob. She had never felt so used or degraded in her life.

"So… she blew you… then you entered her." Oh God. It was bad enough that they were putting her business out in the streets, but now he talked about her as if she were a side show attraction. This was supposed to be an interview promoting the DVD, not about the night that John Cena spent with the gargantuan fat girl.

"Absolutely." And damn John Cena to hell for lying to her, for making her believe for one second that he was different…that he had a soul.

"Did you have to lift up the flaps of skin to get to the vagina?" As soon as Parker heard those words come from Howard Stern's mouth, she felt the first hot tears roll down her face. And to add insult to injury, all of the people in the studio were laughing, including John.

"You gotta know your way around." People had always laughed at Parker, but it never hurt as bad as when John did it. She was infatuated with him. She gave herself to him and he did her dirty. There wasn't anything she could do to prove herself to the world anymore. Fuck the world; they all had the same idea about her. And if they didn't, John Cena just told them what they should think.

Avery took the remote from Parker's hand and pointed it at the television. "Park...let's turn it off."

"No…I wanna hear this." Parker's voice was low, but she was determined to hear everything that John said and thought about her. She just needed to hear it all to satisfy her morbid curiosity. Maybe if she listened long enough, she would understand why she was so disgusting. Maybe he could enlighten her as to why the thought of being with her was just a fucking joke. Maybe he would have the pearls of wisdom to explain to her why she should hate herself as much as the rest of the world hated her appearance. Avery wasn't turning off that television, not until Parker understood why she was anything less than beautiful.

"How many times did you bang the fat chick?" Parker didn't even have a name. She was now known to the world as 'the fat chick'. Howard didn't ask John more questions about the two strippers John had talked about earlier or his six girl orgy. No, he was only interested in what happened when John was with a lard ass, because really, that's all people cared about. He could have fucked a paraplegic and it wouldn't have sparked as many questions as being with her did.

"Believe it or not, I had an hour and half before I had to catch a flight. We just kinda went at it and then I caught the flight." Parker knew she was going to be sick at any minute. Not only did he embarrass her, but now, he was blatantly lying. It wasn't a hit and split, kind of deal. They had several encounters that night. But, he couldn't let the world know that he got off being with her, could he? He had an image to uphold and saying that a fat bitch made him cum, repeatedly, would make him look like less of a man. And really, who would believe that she could keep him with a hard on, with all of her globs of fat hanging all over the place? Her cellulite laden thighs couldn't have been inviting to him…that's why he spent so much time between them, right? And her grotesque stomach didn't turn him on…but he didn't seem to mind shooting all over it, did he? And her breasts, which were probably more fat than mammary, they weren't attractive either…that's why his hands and mouth couldn't get enough of them, wasn't it?

"Did you give her your number?" Now why would he do that? Howard made it perfectly clear that Parker was subhuman, why would he even suggest that John would want anything more to do with this whale of a woman? It was a joke after all, right? She was just a dare…and somehow, she knew it was more than that. If money wasn't on the line, she would have been surprised. There was no reason that he would want to sleep with her unless it was to get something more than Parker out of the deal.

Parker hadn't even noticed that the tears were now streaming down her face, or that she was trembling with an angry sob. Time was standing still as she listened to the man of her dreams bring every one of her insecurities to life. "It wasn't time for all of that."

"Walk in the door and walk out..." Howard had such a smug tone to his voice; as if that's the way John, or any man for that matter, was supposed to treat fat girls. Fat people don't have feelings…they have fat. Their weight has eaten up every emotion inside of them and you can say or do whatever you want because they can't chase you…fat people don't run. They would just eat a gallon of ice cream and few dozen Kripsy Kremes and all would be right with the world again.

"No it wasn't like that. It was like, 'Look, I'm coming up to your room…'" It was another fucking lie. John and Parker spent hours together talking and getting to know each other before anything happened. Now she wished she hadn't bothered. She probably wouldn't have felt so bad if she didn't pour her heart out to him before hand.

"Did you go down on the fat girl?"

"No." John's answer didn't hurt as much as the face that he made. It looked like the idea of it was going to make him sick. It was fine for him to dig around in her pussy, but to share something remotely as intimate as what Stern suggested, was out of the question. Sucking his dick was a privilege, he had been more than generous; there was no way he was going to entertain the thought of returning the favor to Parker.

"Fuck that…" Parker heard that comment from some random person in the studio. They all had the same impression of her. She was one woman; she couldn't fight the world and frankly, she was tired of trying.

"It wasn't like fuck that. It just wasn't in the cards that night." John had a cocky smirk on his face that would have put Randy Orton's to shame.

Parker had enough. The room was spinning and her head pounded and if she listened to anymore, she was definitely going to be sick. She had to let it out…all of the hurt, the betrayal, the embarrassment, the feeling fucking stupid… all of it. It had to come out or it was going to eat her up inside. Without saying anything, she slowly got off the couch and walked into her bedroom, clicking the door quietly behind her. She knew that Avery would be knocking at any minute, but at that moment, she just needed to be alone.

John Cena had managed to hurt her more than anybody ever did and for what reason? Parker hadn't done anything to him. Her only mistake was that she was fat, which she could change if she really wanted to. But he had done something to her; he was a fucking prick that crushed her and there wasn't anything that could be done about that.