A/N:

Me: Well, I have a bit more enthusiasm now. :D

Ed: Yesss!
Me: Yeah, so enthusiastic, in fact, that I'll call you a shorty. :D

Ed: I AM NOT A SHRIMP SO TINY THAT YOU CAN STEP ON ME WITHOUT NOTICING! -fumes-

Me: Ha! Hahahaha.

Alexandra: Anyway. FullMetal Alchemist characters, references, and other related indicia © Hiromu Arakawa. Only Alexandra, Jonathan, Alan, Sophie, and Yuki belong to her!

Me: OKAY! Oh, and I'd like to thank Firststep that pointed out to me that I rated this fic M. I changed it, seeing as it wasn't supposed to be M in the first place.

FullMetal Alchemist

Chapter 8: Confessions

"Well, what do you think?" Alexandra asked when they were standing in front of the mansion. Ed and Al were lying on the ground next to her, passed out from disbelief. "Uh, guys?" Alexandra blinked and looked around. On a sudden impulse, she glanced down and saw their bodies lying on top of one another. Her eyes widened. "OH MY GOD, THEY'RE DEAD! AHH!" she screamed, running circles around them. After about five seconds they snapped out of their coma and Alexandra tripped over Ed's outstretched arm. She went flying into a snow bank and Ed got up.

"No, we're not dead!" he shouted in an attempt to calm her down.

"OH MY GOD, THEY'RE ZOMBIES!" she screamed, shivering and standing up.

"No, no!" Ed yelled. He grabbed her arm, a bit too tightly. She stopped her idiotic ranting when she registered the pain. She clenched her teeth.

"Ow! That hurts! Let go, let go!" she hissed, trying to snatch her wrist away. Ed let go.

"Uh, sorry…um, let's go inside, okay?" he suggested nervously.

"Yeah, sure," Alexandra said quietly, rubbing her wrist. God, that hurt! But he's done it before, why does it hurt all of a sudden? "You guys have to go choose your rooms!" She smiled. "They're upstairs! Go on!"

"Oh, we get our own rooms?" Al asked. "That's so cool!"

"Yeah, run! Fight over the best one!" she encouraged. The brothers glanced at each other and sped off.

xxXxx

"Hey Yuki, how was work?" Alexandra asked, strolling into the living room and flopping onto the easy chair upside-down, her hat touching the floor.

"Shut up," was Yuki's simple reply.

"Sounds like fun. So how was handling Roy?"

"What? How did you know about him?"

"Oh, please, I heard you yelling half a block away."

"It was torture."

"Oh, I'm sure you don't hate him all that much."

"Are you crazy?! Of course I do! And more!"

"Oh, that's not good…"

"Why does it matter?"

"Because I invited him for dinner tonight."

"You WHAT?!"

"Yeah. You'd better behave, or I'm going to have to throw you out of the house."

"You can't do that!" Yuki protested, standing up suddenly.

"Try me," Alexandra responded lazily, yawning. Yuki opened her mouth and closed it a few times, resembling a fish without water. Finally she turned on her heel and walked upstairs to her room. She bumped into Ed along the way, and as pissed as she was, she kicked him out of her way.

"Move it, shrimp!" she shouted, slamming her door shut.

"What's eating her?" Ed asked Al. Al shrugged.

"Maybe she's angry?"

"No shit." He scratched his head, thinking, when all of a sudden, his expression changed completely. "Shrimp? Who the hell are you calling a shrimp?!" he screamed at her door, kicking it with his metal leg.

"Took you long enough to hear me, small fry!" Yuki shouted, her yells muffled by the material of the door. Ed was about to kick out at the wood again, but Al held him back.

"Calm down Ed, you'll break down the door." He pulled him to the other side of the floor. There were rooms all around the stairs, which were in the center of the floor. Alexandra's room was in the northwest corner, Yuki's was in the east, Al's in the west, and Ed's in the north. Currently, the southeast and northwest rooms were unoccupied. "You should be thankful that Alex is letting us live with her and her friend. We haven't had a real home in-"

"Shut up, Al! I know, okay? I know."

xxXxx

The doorbell rang and Yuki nearly fell off of the couch. Al looked up from his spot underneath the window, but Ed was deeply absorbed in one of Alexandra's many books. Alexandra wiped her hands off on a dish towel and ran to open it.

"I've got it!" she sang happily towards the four. She unlocked the front door and it swung open, revealing Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang. He was smiling.

"Uh, hey," he said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I'm here." Alexandra beamed.

"Welcome, Roy! Come on, it's cold outside!" With a sweeping gesture, she pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him. "Dinner's almost ready. You can take a seat at the bar!" She ran into the kitchen, towards the bubbling pots and delicious smells. Roy inhaled deeply and hung up his jacket; he was in civilian clothing for once. He cautiously sauntered towards one of the tall stools leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen and sat down.

"Wow, it smells great," he admitted, his stomach growling. "I haven't had a good meal in a long time."

"Well then, it's about time, isn't it?" She smiled at him and turned a few knobs on the stove. "Hey everybody! Come on, dinner's ready!"

No sooner had the words left her mouth than a stampede started. Ed was the first to drop his book, but Al jumped up and got in front of both of them. Yuki tripped Al and triumphantly started towards the food, when Ed threw the book at her and knocked her over. He grinned and ran off, but Al grabbed his leg and he tripped. Roy leaned back in his seat and watched, amused. Alexandra slapped her forehead and set out plates. After about five minutes, everybody had managed to get to their stools. Ed stared at the roast beef, vegetables and potatoes hungrily. He licked his lips and reached for them with a fork. Alexandra slapped his hand away quickly.

"Hey, no food until we say grace!" she scolded. Yuki nodded. Roy and Al put their hands together, and so did Ed, after a while, very reluctantly. "Now then." She cleared her throat. "Good Lord - Bless these sinners as they eat their dinners. Amen." They waited expectantly. "Go ahead! Eat!"

"Yes!" Ed dived for some of everything and started eating right away. Roy took some as well, obviously hungry, then Yuki went. Alexandra offered something to Al, and he took some, but didn't eat. He stared at his plate sadly. Alexandra noticed this.

"This is delicious," Roy commented after swallowing a forkful of meat.

"Yeah, it's amazing!" Ed agreed through a mouthful of something. Alexandra smiled.

"Thanks. I'm glad you like it!"

xxXxx

"Wow, that was amazing," Yuki moaned after finishing off her second helping. Of course, that was nothing compared to Ed's seven helpings and Roy's five. Al stayed quiet. He had gotten Ed to eat his share for him.

"Well, there's also dessert, in case you guys are interested," Alexandra said.

"Dessert!" Roy exclaimed.

"Oh boy!" Ed yelled. Yuki grinned. Alexandra fetched a few bowls of pudding from the refrigerator and gave one to each person. Again, Al didn't touch his. She didn't understand what was going on.

A few minutes later, everyone was finished with their food and Alexandra set the dishes in the sink, deciding to wash them later. Everyone was extremely happy with their meals. Al was tapping the top of the table with his fingers, bored. He noticed something unusual, though; even though there were only five of them, there were six table settings out. He asked.

"Alex?"

"Yes, Al?"

"Why is there an extra plate out?" Alexandra didn't respond. She looked down at her hands and twiddled her thumbs. Al noticed at once that this was a touchy subject for her, because she seemed to be crying. Everyone fell quiet and looked at her. She jumped off of her stool so abruptly that it fell over, and she ran off towards the living room. Al looked at Roy, then Yuki, then Ed. Nobody knew what was going on. They quickly followed her, but were surprised to find the couch moved away and her gone.

"Hey, what's that?" Al asked, pointing to what seemed to be a door in the floor.

"It's a trapdoor!" Ed exclaimed, running over to it. It was closed. He pulled it open, revealing a long set of stairs, which he started down, followed by everyone else. "Alex!" he shouted.

"Alexandra!" Yuki yelled.

"Alex?" Al asked. After about five seconds, they found her curled up on the floor in a corner of the small basement, evidently staring at the wall. Her back was to them. Al went first, kneeling down and resting his hand on her shoulder. "Alex, are you alright?" She didn't answer.

"Alex, Alex, say something!" Ed pleaded, also putting his hand on her shoulder. Yuki dropped to her knees and hugged her. Roy stood there, sort of awkwardly. In the end, he walked over and stood next to her, bringing with him an air of comfort. "Come on, Alex…"

"Tell me, Ed, Al," she whispered, in a surprisingly steady voice, "what did you do?"

"What?" Ed asked, confused. Neither of brothers knew what she meant.

"What did you do?" she repeated. "The Elric brothers…the FullMetal Alchemist? You had to do something to lose your arm and leg, Ed. And Al, you don't have a body…" She trailed off, her voice lingering like some sort of fog.

"H-how did you know?" Ed stuttered.

"Please, Ed, it wasn't that hard…your arm, it could withstand a bullet. You almost crushed my hand this morning. Your kick sent Torre flying two blocks. Normal limbs don't have that kind of power. And Al, you don't feel…you don't take your armour off. You don't eat." She sighed. "I know."

"I…" Ed was at a loss as to what he could say.

"It's true," Al whispered. "I don't have a body. Ed doesn't have an arm or leg. We made a mistake-"

"-and you're paying for it," Alexandra finished softly. Ed sighed and glanced around.

"What is this place, anyway?" he asked himself out loud.

"It's a laboratory, a library, a training room, a medical room…basically, it's everything an alchemist needs."

"What? Why would you need what an alchemist needs?"

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Edward."

"What…? What are you talking about?"

"Did you know I'm an alchemist? Obviously, I'm not good enough to be a State Alchemist, but I'm an alchemist."

"No…I didn't know."

"Well, like I said…they're a lot you don't know about me."

There was an awkward pause at that moment, during which Alexandra stood up and walked over to a bookshelf. She pulled out a volume entitled 'Alchemy for Beginners'.

"This brings back memories, huh?" she asked quietly.

"Strange. I said the same thing to Ed a few years ago…" Al whispered.

"My dad taught us," she said.

"We taught ourselves," Al explained. Ed narrowed his eyes and walked over to Alexandra.

"We? What do you mean, 'we'?" he asked suspiciously.

"Never mind. What did you do?"

"I…"

"Tell her, Ed," Al said softly. "Tell her."

Ed furrowed his brows in thought. Finally, he sighed. "It was our mother…" he trailed off, tears forming in his eyes. He had no idea that just talking about it would cause him so much grief. "We tried to bring her back. I thought we could do it."

"We thought we could do it," Al corrected.

"We were wrong." Ed leaned against the wall and rested his face in his hands. "We were so wrong. The whole thing backfired on us…my leg was broken down by alchemy…Al was screaming for me…"

"When I woke up, I was armor. Just armor. I saw Ed, lying, almost lifeless…he was holding onto his shoulder. I realized he was missing his leg and arm…"

"I used it to bind Al to the suit of armor. He took me to our neighbour's house. Our friend and her grandmother were both auto-mail mechanics. I paid for having auto-mail, and we left soon after that…"

"We burned down our home. We never wanted to go back. Roy offered for us to come and take the Alchemy Exam…we both passed, but I wasn't allowed to go on…"

"That's basically it, in a nutshell," Ed finished sadly, his eyes brimmed with tears. A few ran down his cheeks. "It was so horrible."

Alexandra took a deep clearing breath. She looked at Al, then at Roy, then Yuki, and finally her gaze rested on Ed. She looked at him for about a minute or so. He straightened up, curious about what she was thinking. She opened her mouth, finally. The first thing that came from it was something that sounded like a soft 'I'.

"I…" she bit her lip, not knowing how to phrase what she wanted to say. It took her a few more minutes, as Ed still felt tears staining his cheeks and Al looked at his feet, and as Roy and Yuki looked at each other, confused. "I understand," she whispered, so quietly that only Ed heard her. At first, he thought he heard wrong. "I understand everything," she repeated, a bit louder. "I know what it's like."

Everyone turned to look at her. Ed's expression changed from one of sadness to one of utter fury. He moved towards her menacingly.

"Understand?" he spat. "How could you possibly understand?" He kept walking forward, making her back up with every step. "How could you possibly know how much it hurt when our mother died? When our father left us?" He had succeeded in backing her into a wall, and now had his hands on both sides of her head, literally pinning her to the spot. "How could you possibly know how painful it was to go through everything we went through? To be utterly devastated?" He was shouting at her now, and she felt helpless. She was on the verge of crying. "Well?" he yelled. "How?!"

Alexandra stared at him, knowing how angry he was. With a sharp inhale, she shoved him out of her way.

"How?" she asked in a small voice. "How? I'll tell you how!" She spun on her heel to face them all. Her eyes were shining, but she wasn't crying just yet. She pulled her hat off sharply and threw it on the ground. Her cats ears were visible. "Have you ever heard of a human chimera?" she asked evenly. "Well, meet me! Alexandra, the amazing cat girl hybrid! But no, that's not all!" By this time, each one of them looked shocked beyond reason. She stomped her foot on the ground and thrust her arm up. Al flew into the air.

"Whoa! What's going on?" he asked, afraid.

"That's another thing! I don't know where it came from, but it doubles my status as a freak, don't you agree?" Her voice was now getting louder, and it was laced with anger and sadness. Ed's eyes widened.

"H-how did-"

"Let me finish!" she yelled at him. Ed shut up immediately. She turned away from them and slowly took her sweater off, revealing a shirt with no sleeves underneath. Her arm brace was visible. "I lied," she said coldly to no one in particular. "I lied so many times in my life." She undid the first clasp, wincing. "So many fucking times!" She undid the next one. "Maybe it's time I told the truth for once!" she screamed out loud, letting the brace fall to the ground with a loud clatter. She yelled out in pain and fell to her knees when the weight of the auto-mail pulled on the exposed nerves and when the wiring poked into her tender flesh. With a sort of manic laugh, she turned and faced them. "This is how, Ed!" she shouted weakly. "This is how! Is it enough for you?" She sucked in some air. "I'll bet you're all wondering what's happened to me."

Ed ran over and dropped to his knees next to her. Everyone else did the same, wide-eyes and scared for her.

"It's an interesting story, really…see, my father was a State Alchemist. He taught me the science of alchemy. One day, when I was trying to turn sand into glass, the power backfired on me. It hit my mom. She died." Alexandra stopped, closing her eyes to stop herself from crying. "Me and my dad…we tried to bring her back. Both of us knew the laws. We didn't pay attention at all. He…he died. I watched him die in front of me. I watched him be torn apart until his was just flesh, blood and bone."

A few minutes of silence followed, as the four looked at Alexandra sobbing helplessly in front of them. "I'll tell you one thing, brothers," she whispered through her tears, "you're lucky."

"What?" Ed asked. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I mean you're lucky, you stupid fucktards! Have you realized that you still have ach other?" She stood up. "You have family! I don't even know if my brother is alive, damnit!" she screamed at them, holding her arm.

"You…you have a brother?" Al asked quietly. Alexandra looked at him, the fury in her eyes melting away slowly and painfully. A few seconds later, she was back on her knees, crying pathetically, unable to stop shaking. She was so overcome with emotion that she wanted to die.

"Yes," she choked. "Yes, I have a brother. He's my twin. He almost died the night we tried to bring our mother back…I cut off my arm to fix his wound…he hated me for killing mom. I hated myself. I wanted to die…oh, God, I wish he was here right now…" she doubled over and held her head in her free hand, her auto-mail tucked against her chest. "Oh God how I wish I had him right now…"

Without a word, Ed ran over to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Alex-"

"Don't touch me!" she yelled weakly. "Just leave me alone! Go talk to your brother! Do anything, just leave me alone, alright? Everyone judges a book by its cover, no? Well, look at this!" She got up and stumbled over to where she had left the Alchemy book. She tossed it to Ed.

"What do you want me to do with this?" he asked softly.

"Open it! Read it!" she shouted. "I dare you!"

He did. The first thing on the page was 'Dear Diary'. He looked up at her. "But…"

"Go on! Read it!"

Dear Diary,

Today was the day I had to separate from Alan. It was so hard…he was the only family I had left, and the only thing I have to remember him by is dad's pocket watch. He told me to keep it, as a reminder of the mistakes we made…

…but that wasn't it. Before those men took us away from each other, he grabbed my wrist and vowed to me that he would find me one day. That he would find me and show me his own pocket watch, after he had become State Alchemist. After that, Torre grabbed me and pulled me away. That was the last I saw of my twin.

I can't believe I'm all alone now. I miss Alan so much, my heart hurts whenever I look at my pocket watch. It reminds me of mom, of dad, of Alan, and of how we could have prevented this whole mess if we hadn't been so competitive.

Please, God, please…I just want my brother back, I can't –

That's all that Ed read up to, because then the t trailed off across the page. The ink was smudged in places; obviously Alexandra had been crying when she wrote this. He checked the date. Two years ago. Or three? He looked up at her. She was dangling the pocket watch in front of her face.

"Alan. He was my brother. He was my…my mentor, you could say. He pretty much holds the other half of my heart. And now I feel like that half is gone." She dropped the watch on the ground, a single tear rolling down her cheek. It didn't break or dent. It just lay there, like some sort of forgotten relic. With one last glance at her friends, she ran up the stairs, out of the house, and blindly towards the park.

xxXxx

"Did you know?" Ed asked Yuki, his back facing her. He hadn't moved from his spot on his knees, right next to where Alexandra had been sitting moments before.

Yuki shook her head. "No, I didn't…she kept it from me…"

"With good reason, I suppose," Roy stated. He hadn't talked since dinner. "Would you accept her if you knew what she had done?"

Yuki looked very uncomfortable. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "No…" She said quietly. "No, I guess I wouldn't…"

"My point exactly," said the Lieutenant. "Maybe we should look for her…?"

"No," Al said quickly. "I think Ed should go. Alone."

"Yeah, Al…I think you're right…I should go apologize…" He stood up and looked towards the trap door. "I think we should all get out of here, it seems pretty private, and-" He cut himself off when he spotted a picture set on a nearby bench.

"What is it, Ed?" Yuki asked.

"That!" He pointed to the picture and quickly walked over to it.

It was clearly Alexandra, but a lot younger. Maybe at three or four. She was looking up curiously at a boy hanging from a tree branch, one who looked exactly like her. He was grinning down at her. She had a finger on her lip, and was reaching one hand out to him. His fingers were just brushing hers.

Ed clenched his fists and tears streamed down his face. It's so unfair for her! She's lost her brother… He looked at Al. He may not have a body, but he's there…he's there for me.

Without another word he grabbed the silver pocket watch, and then he ran out. Al was left standing there with Roy and Yuki. They walked upstairs a few minutes after, wondering what to do.

"Well," said Roy, "this sucks."

xxXxx

Alexandra sat just in front of the large cliff that opened out into the ocean. It was located in a rather secluded part of the park, where there were no trees and the moon was visible. She looked up at the sky, sniffling. It was snowing, and she was cold, but she didn't want to go back home.

Call her crazy, but she didn't want to face any of her friends. She hugged herself tightly, trying hard to ignore the pain shooting through her shoulder. It had snowed a surprising amount already, and the white powder was about a centimeter deep.

Suddenly, Alexandra heard footsteps in the snow, making odd crunching sounds in contrast to the silent night. She was going to turn around to see who or what it was, when Ed kneeled down next to her.

"You realize you'll get sick if you stay out here, right?" he asked quietly. He took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. Then he took off his hat and put it on her head.

"Look, Ed, I-"

"Shh." He put a finger against her lips. "You don't have to say anything. You don't have to say anything more." Ed hugged her close and she pressed her face into the front of his shirt.

Alexandra was so glad that Ed had told her that. She didn't want to say anything else.

It was enough just to have him here.

A/N:

Well, yeah. That chapter was long.

I don't know if I like it that much.

Please leave reviews!