I don't want to talk about it. By now I am thinking that 97 percent of you know what I am talking about. But I don't want to talk about it. Don't even mention it.
Seriously.
If you even think it, no update for... really long time.
I'll do it.
No I won't.
But I'll get you somehow
... probably using voodoo.
Read.
XXXXXXXXXX
DEREK
"It is our hope that this new facility will become like a sister hospital to Seattle Grace," Addison concluded, "With doctors from Seattle Grace working side-by-side with the staff of the new Joy Hastings Memorial Woman's Hospital," She smiled at the staff gathered in front of her, "So now for the announcement that I am sure none of you are surprised to hear. As of March 1st I will be stepping down as Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace, and will be the New Chief of Staff at Joy Memorial. What you may be surprised to hear, is that I am taking people with me. My friend Dr. Miranda Bailey has agreed to be our Chief of Surgery, "she beamed at her friend, "Dr. Jeremy Lyons is joining us to head up Obstetrics, Dr. Bedford Smith and Dr. Cristina Yang in Cardio, Dr. George O'Malley, Dr. Sarah Jekins and Dr Emily Jones, Oncology. And ..."
Derek didn't hear anymore. He had no idea that she was leaving. He knew nothing about this new hospital. He vaguely remembered seeing a sign on his way to work in the morning, it said 'Joy Hastings Memorial'... something.
But he had no idea that she was leaving Seattle Grace.
Addison smiled one last time and concluded her speech. Stepping away from the informal podium she was immediately surrounded by friends and congratulations. He inched closer, intending on adding his congratulations.
"Maybe I should reconsider coming with you," Izzie was saying, "I'm not sure that I can do my job without The Nazi hanging over my shoulder all the time."
Addison gave her arm a friendly squeeze, "But if you had taken me up on my offer, who would keep Sloane and Karev in line?"
Derek moved out off her eye line and reviewed everything she had said.
She was leaving.
And she was taking people with her.
She had asked people to follow her to the new hospital.
But she hadn't asked him.
XXXX
"I thought you might be here." Addison greeted him as she entered her office. Crossing to her desk she picked up a packet of papers before re-crossing the room to sit on the couch beside him.
"You're leaving." Derek stated, watching her place her papers and her coffee cup on the table in front of them.
"I am," she confirmed, leaning back comfortably, slipping off her glasses and her shoes. She had long ago given up on any shows of formality between them.
"I tried to get you to leave and you wouldn't budge, you just stole the job I wanted," he tried to remain as neutral sounding as possible, "And now, as soon as you get that, you're taking off."
"I did it on purpose. I want you to be miserable," she smirked, giving him a cheeky smile to show she was kidding, "This is my dream job. You know that."
Derek nodded, he knew. "I just didn't know you were leaving. I didn't expect it."
Addison considered this a moment, "I really thought that someone would have told you. I'm sorry."
"Who knew?"
"Everyone knew Derek. Off the record, of course. But everyone knew."
"And you are taking everyone with you?" He edged.
"Some. Yes."
Derek formed a triangle with his hands and pressed his fingers to his chin, uncertain of how he should continue.
"I asked Meredith," Addison said finally, "She turned me down."
Derek's eye's jerked to hers, "You talked to Meredith?"
Addison nodded, "She's doing good. She's in Denver," she paused, "She would have made an excellent addition to the neuro team."
"So she seemed... happy?" Derek gratefully grasped at the change in subject, even if it was a painful one.
Addison gave him a sympathetic smile, "She did. She was laughing. A lot. She asked about you."
Derek froze in surprise.
"I said you were miserable and your hair was turning gray."
Derek ran a hand through his hair self-consciously.
"She's with someone," Addison told him gently, "They've been together just over a year. They have a dog named Jose Cuervo."
Derek chuckled, "She would."
"She's happy," Addison continued, "They are thinking about starting a family."
"She didn't want to come back?" Derek asked curiously. For the first time, he felt able to talk about Meredith without shutting down or snapping at someone.
"No,"Addison murmured, "I even mentioned our employee childcare program and our benefits package but... she didn't bite," she smiled softly, "But the same speech got me Yang."
"She would have been good for your neuro team," Derek reflected absently.
"That's why I asked her."
Derek felt his entire body tense and the vein in his forehead throb, "But you didn't ask me."
Addison leaned forward and picked up her coffee, "No."
"You found someone else?"
She took a small sip, "No. I'm still looking."
He couldn't believe how nonchalant she was being. Insulted he stood and strode across the room, "I thought you were over it."
Addison cocked an eyebrow.
"We get along, we can work together."
Addison's mouth twitched.
"Why am I not good enough to work at your precious hospital?" He suddenly felt inexplicably mad. She wanted to laugh at him, "I am the best Addison. The BEST," without warning his fist connected loudly with the top of her desk.
Addison was silent a long moment, "Are you done?" she asked finally.
His eyes still flashed with anger.
"Sit down," she instructed firmly, motioning to the seat beside her.
He meekly obeyed, leaning his elbows on his knees.
"I need someone to replace me as Chief of Surgery. Someone who I can trust and who is...
she paused, seemingly reconsidering her words, "...mature." she picked up the papers and handed them to him., "And I want you."
Derek stared at her dumbfounded.
Addison shook the papers, an amused smile on her face, "Do you want it?"
Derek closed his eyes, "I just made a complete fool out of myself."
"I still think you can handle the job," she smirked, "I might force you to take a mental competency exam first, but..."
Derek turned to her, "Thank you," he said sincerely.
Addison shrugged, "Don't thank me. I'm only doing this because the boards won't let me do both."
"Thank you," he repeated earnestly.
She smiled, "You deserve it."
Derek leaned forward cupped her cheek before lightly kissing her cheek gratefully. His lips hovered a moment near the corner of her mouth before he pulled back to look at her.
Their eyes locked.
"Derek," she said quietly, "There is something else that I have to tell you."
Derek's eyes drifted down to her lips.
"I'm getting married."
XXXX
ADDISON
"I am NOT moving to SEATTLE Derek."
Derek shrugged, "I'm not going back to New York," he replied simply.
"I have a PRACTICE in New York. A good one. I have a REPUTATION. I have a LIFE!"
"You can have a practice here," his face was void of emotion, "And you have a reputation..."
"As an ADULTERESS WHORE!" she raged, "Everyone looks at me like I'm trash. I HATE it here Derek. I don't BELONG." She abruptly turned away from him and stared out the window. It was taking all her self control not to kill him with the cord of the hotel rooms phone, "I love New York."
Derek didn't reply.
Addison listened to him open a beer, "You have a practice in New York," she repeated stubbornly, "An excellent practice."
Derek moved so he stood beside her at the window, "I had a practice. With Mark," he reminded her and moved away again.
Addison felt her chest constrict. She breathed in and out evenly, trying to think clearly, "I'll buy him out," she said suddenly, turning away from the window.
Derek looked at her in surprise.
"I'll buy out Mark's half of the practice," she repeated, "We can reopen it together."
Derek stood and walked the floor a few times considering what she had just said.
She watched him apprehensively for a few moments before sinking into a nearby chair and gnawing on her lower lip.
"No," he said finally.
She sighed.
"No," he repeated firmly, "I'm not going back to New York."
"But Derek..."
"Addison!" he snapped at her, "Nothing you say is going get me back to New York!"
Addison sighed and leaned her elbows heavily against the small round table in front of her, "Then why the hell are we even talking."
"You wanted to give us another chance," he replied evenly.
"You said you wanted that too."
"I do. In Seattle."
Addison rolled her eyes, "You just want to be near your intern."
Derek didn't flinch, "You just want to be near Mark," he shot back.
"Fine," Addison spat sarcastically, "You and your coed can have the West Coast, I'll take the East Coast. We can split the country down the middle as part of the divorce settlement. You get New Mexico, I get Texas. How you want to divide Europe, Derek? North and South? How about I get the countries that start with A to M and you get N to Z? Does that work for you Derek?"
"No!" Derek exclaimed angrily, "That doesn't work for me Addison! Our whole family is on the East Coast!"
Addison stared at him dumbfounded for a moment. She crossed her arms on the table and buried her face against them, laughing to herself bitterly, "Oh, this isn't happening."
XXXX
Addison curled her knee's up towards her chest, and dropped her head back against the headboard. Derek had taken her place at the small table across the room and surveyed her with a blank expression.
"I don't like Seattle," she repeated for the fiftieth time.
"You don't even know it," he countered.
"It rains," she stated, staring over his shoulder to where it was indeed raining.
"I like the rain. The fishing is better in the rain."
"There are no good restaurants."
"You just haven't found them yet."
"I have no friends here," she said softly, "I'll be alone."
Derek didn't reply. He didn't seem to be able to come up with answers for her deepest concerns.
"We were so happy in New York."
Derek shook his head and scoffed, "How could we ever be happy in New York ever again Addison?"
"Why can't you just try in New York Derek?"
"Why can't you try in Seattle?"
"Because you don't want me here!"
The room sank slowly into stoney silence. Addison stared straight ahead, knowing that if she looked at Derek, she was going to cry.
"I never said I didn't want you here."
"Well you are doing a hell of a job of making me feel welcome," she responded bitterly.
"Well I'm not happy Addison," he cut in angrily, "I'm not happy that you are here. I was doing fine without you."
"Well I am SORRY. I'm sorry that I showed up and ruined your life. But I am your wife!"
"I KNOW THAT ADDISON!" he bellowed "I KNOW THAT YOU'RE ARE MY WIFE! WHY DO YOU THINK THAT I'M HERE?"
Addison curled her legs closer to her body and rested her forehead against her crossed arms, "I'm going back to New York," she said quietly, "You don't want me here. So I'll leave."
She watched Derek rub his hands over his face, pressing hard against his eyes, "We can't got back to New York," he repeated through clenched teeth, "Nothing will change. We will stay the same, and we'll hate each other. We don't even stand a chance."
She remained silent, considering his words.
"Maybe we need the change," he shrugged, to Addison it seemed nonchalant, "We'd at least have a chance."
"But Seattle?" Addison sighed, "My life is in New York."
"But I'm in Seattle."
"I will be alone." She spoke slowly forcing him to consider each word she spoke, "If you leave me again, if this doesn't work out, if we fail, I will be alone. In New York we have people. We have friends. Good friends. Both of us. Here, I am alone."
She watched him stare intently at her eyes. She didn't know what he was looking for. She tried to read his face, something she couldn't do as well as she used too. She saw pity. And sympathy. Understanding. Yearning, maybe. She saw sadness. Heartbreak.
But they were suppose to be together. She still believed that. That's the way it was.
"I'm in Seattle now."
Addison's brow furrowed and her lip jutted out as she suppressed the cries she could feel welling in her chest, "Then I guess I'm in Seattle too."
She turned slowly and picked up the phone, dialing a number slowly from memory, "Robert? This is Addison Shepherd." she paused, "Yes, I'm fine," she said weakly, "I need for you to arrange to sell off my practice," she took a shaky breath, "Have all my patients transferred. And..." her face contorted with pain and grief, "Cancel my research grant with NYU, I won't be using it."
She hung up the phone, the sound of the receiver hitting the cradle echoing through the room. She refused to look at him. She laid down with her back to him and curling into the fetal position.
The air in the room was motionless. The silence broken only by Addison's occasional cries.
"Don't touch me."
Derek retracted the hand that he had been about to place on her shoulder.
She continued to face away from him, her shoulders shaking, "Go away," she pled angrily, "Just get away from me."
Derek picked up his jacket from the chair by the window. Out of habit he glanced at her as he opened the door to her hotel room.
She was watching him, her eyes overflowing with tears, "I just gave up everything for you."
XXXXXXXX
Well that was cheerful.
I know what you are thinking, And the answer is: It's no one you know, don't worry about it right now.
I found my old voodoo dolls, they are a bit dusty, but I sharpened my push pins and they are good to go. I got some really cute new outfits for some of them. Who wants the red sequined thong for theirs?
Review.