Author's notes:
First of all I apologize for the delay but I had school work and after school activities to do and it didn't give me much time to think of ideas for my next chapters but now that I have a week off from school I can finally sit and write in peace. Anyways, I just thought of another funny plot for my new Peacemaker story which will be posted up once I'm done with this one and I hope you guys will go and read it as well.
I have to let you guys know that I didn't get any inspiration while writing this chapter (I had writer's block and I just couldn't think of anything to write) so if its not so good as you hoped it would I'm very sorry, but on the plus side I'm posting um I think 2 chapters for you since I made you guys wait and all. Beware this chapter is…lets just say awkward and weird. (I couldn't think of anything else so thus this is what came out...a chapter filled with weirdness)
So read and review!
Chapter IX
Unwanted Information
Takeda Kanryusai froze; there before him stood his commanding officer; a stern unreadable look plastered on his old face. The young captain opened his trembling mouth to speak but was immediately cut off.
"Kondou-san…um…this isn't what it looks like…" Takeda stuttered
"HOW DARE YOU DISGRACE THE SHINSENGUMI!" Hijikata snarled through gritted teeth
Takeda who had no clue as to who the angered woman was looked on with a baffled look on his face, "Please don't yell at me like that miss…"
"YOU ARE NOTHING BUT AN INSOLENT SWINE, HIDING AMONGST TRUE MEN, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?" Hijikata continued his eyes glinting with malice
"I…I…I beg your pardon?" Takeda stammered, apparently not used to mysterious women accusing him.
Kondou sighed as he put a hand on his vice-commander's shoulder, "Don't blow your cover now Toshimi-chan" Kondou whispered softly causing Hijikata to realize the mistake and ease up a bit.
"Hai" He muttered softly
Kondou turned to face the bewildered Takeda, "Takeda-san, I hope you'll find it in you to forgive my niece. She isn't used to seeing…um…um…you know what I'm implying right." He said with a grin.
"Sir…it's not what you think…I was…I was…" Takeda thought hard, thought hard of any excuse he could possibly come up with to cover up his unusual predicament but sadly he knew it was useless.
"No need to explain yourself, if you as the rumors say are indeed a queer then I supposed that is what it should be"
"But sir, I am not a queer!" Takeda protested, "Let me explain…please!"
"You're telling us that you're not a queer? Look at yourself for kami's sake" Shinpachi stated coldly, "You're in women's clothes and you have make-up on, what more could you ask for?"
"No, it's not what you think…I was just…I was just…"
"You were just doing what? Rehearsing for a kabuki show?" Heisuke scoffed (AN: Kabuki was a theater performance and since women were banned from theater males often played the parts of women)
"Um…Yes…" Takeda said not knowing what else to say
"Let it go Takeda-san…this issue is futile" Kondou said
"Alright…I admit it…I am a queer" Takeda began, his head bent low in shame
"Now that's a shocker" Tetsu whispered sarcastically to his brother who slapped him in the head, "What the hell was that for?"
"Be considerate to the man, jeez sometimes you can be such an ass" Tatsu hissed
"He's an ass all the time" Susumu muttered to himself
"I beg for forgiveness Kondou-san…."
"How long have you been…um…like this?" Kondou asked, apparently uncomfortable with the situation.
"Perhaps for over a year now…it began as a silly infatuation with a certain captain but I soon found my feelings to be real and then I began to question my identity and the next thing I knew I…I…I'm a queer after all"
The room fell silent as heads turned to look at one another uneasily, thoughts suddenly ran through everyone's head as to who Takeda could have fancied.
"Oh great, the queer has an unusual liking to a certain captain…oh shit does a vice-commander count? Wait, he said captain so it's not me…thank the heavens for that...ha ha ha...its good to be in power" Hijikata thought
"Holy shit, did he just say that he was infatuated by a certain captain?" Sano asked himself, "Does he like the rugged types? Because…oh man…I'm the rugged type!"
"Oh great, just great, lady-boy over here has a crush on a certain captain, the question now is who the hell did he have the hots for?" Shinpachi thought
"I'm not a captain so I'm excused from this situation…kami-sama thank you...at least I wont have to endure another Mayuya like character" Susumu sighed happily
"Thank the heavens I'm just a bookkeeper, just the thought of having a grown man checking you out in secret is just plain creepy" Tatsu thought with a shudder
"I bet he has the hots for Okita-san, he is after all the most effeminate and sexiest of all the captains" Tetsu thought, "Oh crap! Did I just call Okita-san sexy…ahhh! Am I a queer in making too?"
"Uh-oh, Could that captain be me? Dear Kami please let it not be me" Okita prayed mentally, "I have nothing against their kind but…but…ahhhh...okay I admit after knowing I had a look alike who was a queer I've gone ballistic over the idea" Okita began to panic, which was unusual for the calm and cheery captain.
Heisuke turned to face the 1st division captain before retreating to his own thoughts, "I bet he was checking me out…or maybe it was Okita…sure he's adorable with child like features but when you think about it when it comes to sexier features, Heisuke takes the cake" Heisuke thought, a smile gracing his lips.
Shinpachi noticing the stupid grin plastered on his friends face gave a deep sigh, "That idiot is day dreaming again and I bet he thinks Takeda was checking him out…what a moron"
Noticing the silent and in thought expressions his men had on their faces, Kondou coughed loudly to bring back their attention to their current situation.
"So you have an unusual fancy towards a certain captain eh? Um…may I know who it is?" Kondou asked, mentally slapping himself for even encouraging the idea.
"What the hell are you doing Isami? You're encouraging this treacherous act!" Kondou thought
Takeda was quite taken back by his commander's sudden interest that he couldn't help but blush madly, "Kondou-san, when you're being sincere like this it makes me feel accepted and loved" Takeda said with an all too sweet smile.
Kondou smiled sheepishly, "So may I know the captain's name?"
"There I go again…someone kill me now"
"Well, can I entrust you and these…um…women…to not tell anyone?" Takeda asked curiously as he looked at his commander and the women he was with
"Rest assured, you're secret is safe with us and besides these are my nieces, they shall keep your secret forever" Kondou said with a fake grin
"HE'S RIGHT SO SPILL IT ALREADY YOU DAMN QUEER!" Heisuke demanded impatiently earning him a beating from Sano and Shinpachi and yes even Hijikata joined in on the beating.
"Shut it before I crush you're womanly head with my womanly hands!" Shinpachi hissed
"How are you going to do that…you're hands are way too small, Shina"
"Takeda-san just continue before you'll give me an excuse to murder someone" Shinpachi said through gritted teeth as he tightened his hold on Heisuke's neck.
"Um….sure thing….well, I've took a fancy for…for…um…"
The "girls" hovered around Takeda, waiting for his answer…the dreaded reply the captains did not want to hear.
"I've fancied him for a while…he's quite charming"
"You heard that…he said charming" Tetsu teased knowing that he wasn't a possible candidate
"He's sweet"
"You heard that…he said sweet"
"He's funny…in his own ways"
"You heard that…he said funny…in his own ways"
"Tetsuna-chan if you don't shut up anytime I'll make sure a slow and painful death will await you" Shinpachi snarled
"He's quite shy but I know deep inside he is a man of great potential"
"Just what the hell does "he's a man of great potential mean"? It's starting to sound too...um…weird" Sano whispered to Shinpachi who agreed
"Basically there are a lot of ways to describe him…"
"CUT THE CRAP AND TELL US ALREADY!" Heisuke demanded impatiently
"Fine, fine…I have fancied…none other than…the 3rd division captain Saitou Hajime"
Everyone in the room turned to face Saitou, who as you know was in his female form. The 3rd division captain literally froze as his prayer beads hit the floor. Heisuke had seemed to be the only one who was quite disappointed.
"You…you…you've took a fancy on Hajime?" Shinpachi stuttered, apparently speechless
"Yes I have" Takeda said proudly and quite creepily
Everyone slowly backed away from him
"AND NOT HEISUKE TODOU! THE GALLANT MAN WHO ENTICES EVERYONE" Heisuke stated angrily
"Todou-kun is a man of great stature and I think he's somewhat like me in a sense"
"That part you're right" Tetsu snickered
"But…But…he's…he's…Hajime!" Sano protested apparently flabbergasted by the sudden news
"HE'S NO HEISUKE TODOU!" Heisuke demanded, "HE'S NOT CUTE, ADORABLE OR LOVABLE!"
"You do know that you just described a house pet right?" Shinpachi asked, "Typical idiot"
"Indeed he may not be any of those but he is strong and mysterious…and that's what I fancy most…" Takeda smiled and yes the smile was creepy. Creepy enough that it made Yoshida's face look like a field of flowers.
"HE'S NOT ME…I MEAN HEISUKE DAMN IT!"
"Give it up will you?" Shinpachi hissed
"That's right, despite being a man of silence he seems to be very attractive and the more mysterious he is the more my heart pours out to him" Takeda declared proudly as if it were a normal thing to do
Hijikata twitched madly, "Oh great, just great not only am I commanding a queer but he's in love with the ahou who says he can see spirits."
"Saitou-san are you…are you alright?" Susumu whispered to the silent captain beside him
"I'm in prayer…don't bother me…" The said captain replied in his usual bored manner
"I wonder what he's praying about" Tetsu asked curiously
"He's probably praying for a way out" Tatsu replied in hushed whispered, "Poor fellow, I mean if I were the one being fancied by a weirdo I'd be in prayer too"
"Maybe he's praying for Kami-sama to kill him" Shinpachi added softly
"Actually, I'm praying to remain a woman forever, this way Takeda can go find someone else to fancy for a change"
Everyone sweat dropped
"Takeda-san you do know that…that…that your display of affection is treason right?" Kondou stated
"I do and that is what pains me the most" Takeda said with watery eyes
"Oh great now he's going to cry and say some useless sob story that I don't give a crap about" Hijikata thought coldly
"Being that this is the Shinsengumi, Kyoto's toughest police force; and being that you have openly confessed that you are um…a queer and…apparently has taken a fancy towards a fellow captain I have no choice but to rip you off your title as captain" Kondou said simply
Takeda had a sad look on his face but he knew very well that this was the consequence he would have to face, "Is there another way…I don't…I don't want to leave"
"YOU CAN COMMIT SEPPUKU AND GET IT OVER WITH!" Hijikata declared quite excitedly, "GET A KATANA AND LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH!"
"Um…Um…what my niece means is that leaving the Shinsengumi is the only way aside from committing seppuku and I'm certain that you wouldn't want to do that right?" Kondou said eyeing Hijikata
"That's not what I meant Isami…what I meant was…" Before the demon vice chief could finish Okita had plastered his hand over his mouth to keep him from talking
"Toshimi-chan…she's just…she's just…um…just don't get the wrong idea about her she's just…um…she's just…um" Okita began nervously
"She's just deranged" Tetsu chimed in earning him a murderous look from his master, "I mean…she's only deranged when it comes to seppuku…she likes the whole belly cutting thing" Tetsu covered up
Everyone looked at him with "what the hell did you say" expressions on their faces
"Toshimi-chan wanted to be a butcher" Tetsu added
"A butcher?" Shinpachi asked, "I thought we were talking about seppuku here!"
"Um yeah…that's why she likes…cutting stuff…" Tetsu added as he slapped his forehead silly
"Tetsuna-chan…I'll have you know I do not have an unusual fascination for belly cutting!" Hijikata stated through gritted teeth
"Don't blame me it was all I could think of"
"Shut it Tetsuna before I'll end up butchering you!" Hijikata barked
"Got it chief…I mean…um…Toshimi-chan"
"As of now Takeda-san you can remain here in the Shinsengumi but apparently you'll have to keep your secret a secret is that understood?"
"Yes Kondou-san"
"I cannot have any of the men find out that you're um…um…different…"
"I understand clearly sir"
"Well, now that that issue is settled I've come to ask something of you"
"Um…what is it sir?"
"Well, my nieces…they'll be staying in town for a while and I was hoping if you had any kimonos to spare"
A wide smile soon graced Takeda's face, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?" Takeda asked excitedly as he approached Kondou's nieces, the girls quickly backed away
"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Shinpachi asked
"He's looking at us weirdly" Sano announced
"If that bastard tried to pull of some stunt he's dead!" Heisuke said
"I've always wanted to test out my new designs and now I have just the right girls for them!" Takeda announced with a hearty laugh, "I am going to transform you from manly to gorgeous!"
And thus Takeda's mission began…the mission to beautify his latest clients…but what he doesn't know is that his new clients are actually his fellow Shinsengumi.
Alright first things first...this story is weird and I have to admit I wasn't fond of this chapter, okay I was fond a little but only by the mean comments I made Shinpachi say. Anyways yes Takeda is a queer and he likes Saitou, poor Saitou. You know what's funny, in real life when Takeda decided to betray the Shinsengumi he was murdered by an assassin...and guess who that assassin was...yep his lovey Saitou...lol...ok they're not lovers in real life but in my story they're not either. Anyways read and review and once again sorry for the delay and yes I'll try to think up of more ideas