Author's notes:
Well sorry for the long update but I had term papers to write and trust me they weren't easy, anyways I apologize for making you wait and hopefully this chapter will make up for it. Anyways, I mentioned earlier on that I had plans on making another funny Peacemaker story and just recently I gathered up my ideas and came up with this plot:
Please don't take these ideas, I worked hard on conjuring up these ideas so please don't take them
Picture Perfect!
When Okita Soji gets a hold of his very own camera, things are far from perfect when mischievous Tetsunosuke convinces the men that the camera is a device that sucks souls. Hilarity and chaos ensues as the men find themselves hiding from a certain 1st unit captain and his camera.
Once upon a time...
Hijikata is far from happy when he is informed that he and his men are in charge of putting up a little play for the Mibu Orphanage. The worst part has yet to come when he soon finds out that he and his men have to act it out in front of the Kyoto citizens!
So what did you guys think of it? I was just daydreaming one day and these thoughts occurred to me, well I won't start to write them until I finish my other Peacemaker story so please watch out for these stories ok? So I've chatted enough so here's my latest chapter!!!!
Chapter XII
When a man becomes a geisha?
The Shimabara district; or also known as the pleasure quarters or the red light district of Kyoto are infamous for both its women and "entertainment". These are the places where one would most likely end up to relax and have fun or in this case to be forced to work.
"Now how the hell did I get myself into this again?" Shinpachi snarled through gritted teeth as a young woman began taking his measurements.
"Hey at least were all in this together" Heisuke said sheepishly as began putting on his silk kimono. (AN: "We're all in this together I started laughing coz of High School Musical)
"This is forced labor" Sano sighed as he found himself being beautified to perfection
"Stop moving Sanada-chan!" A young woman scolded as she untangled Sano's unruly locks
"Oh…um…sorry" Sano blushed
Shinpachi sighed, "Damn I hate my life..."
Flashback
Hijikata and his "men" slowly made their way inside the districts of Shimabara, upon entering the said red light district they soon found themselves being the main target of both sober and drunken men.
"Hey beautiful, want to come and have some fun with me?"
"Looks like Kami-sama is being extra generous tonight! Look you guys it's a parade of beautiful women!"
"Just the thought of this men staring at you is giving me the creeps" Tatsu said as he held Tetsu's hand tightly
"Tatsu you idiot…you're…you're…you're crushing my freaking hand!" Tetsu hissed irritably
"Shut up, as long as we're in this predicament I have to be more cautious"
Tetsu sweat dropped
"Hey there beautiful…did you fall from the heavens because it seems like you're a goddess from up above"
"That bastard better not be staring at me" Hijikata snarled as he clinched his fists,
"You're one beautiful goddess my dear and my mortal self is falling into you"
"Say that cheap line one more time and I'll bash his freaking head into that pole!" Hijikata screeched, "Say it again you poor excuse of a peasant!"
"Hiji…I mean Toshimi-chan be more lady like" Okita scolded, trying his best to calm down the fuming vice commander
"That bastard and his cheap lines…he should die... that bastard was pissing me off, you expect me to remain calm about that?" Hijikata replied coldly
"You'll get used to it Toshimi-chan…stay here for a week and you'll get used to men gawking at you and calling you unwanted names" Miss Yakamura said softly
Hijikata scoffed, "I happen to be a man…er…woman of high stature and I will never sink so low as to become a petty geisha from these slums" He declared proudly
Soji noticing the pride and arrogance in his friend's tone nudged him hardly; earning him a malicious look from the said vice captain.
"Be more considerate…" Soji whispered
"What I am implying is the truth and each of us including you Soji are higher than this…do you understand my point now…er…um…what the hell was your name again?"
Soji tried to hide his fits of laughter, "Sonomi-chan"
"Like it matters" Hijikata retorted, "So just what the hell do you want us to do Yakamura-san?"
"I'll put all of you girls to work; some may be tea servers while others can entertain the guests…"
"HOLD IT! By "entertain" you mean" Heisuke had a shocked look plastered on his face
"Well, entertain as in play musical instruments, talk to the men and of course…offer your service…"
The group gasped and nearly fainted at what they heard, "OFFER OUR SERVICE!!!!"
Tatsu had a nervous breakdown
"I…I…I…I'm becoming...a... a...a man whore…"
Soji gasped
"Oh my…how…how…how indecent and vile"
Shinpachi bashed his head into a pole but the impact did not kill him which he had hoped for
"Wall…you're my only way out…kill me now…kill me now…"
Sano paled from fright
"Gross…gross…gross…I don't care if they could be cute as Soji…its still gross"
Susumu and Tetsu froze and looked at each other with wide, panicked eyes
"Ayu-nee…your little brother…your little brother will be joining you any moment now…as soon as I find my kunai I'll ask the puppy to stab me"
"This isn't right…this isn't right…I'm a boy…I'm a boy trapped in a girl's body…but I'm still a boy…oh crap…why do these things happen to me anyways?"
Saitou prayed, prayed for the gods to kill him now or better yet pray for someone to assassinate him
"If any Choshu soul can hear me clear call all your men and kill me now…"
Hijikata twitched uncontrollably
"My life has officially gone to hell"
Heisuke screamed madly, like an idiot
"I'm…I'm…I'm too gorgeous to be touched!"
"You…you…you mean…you mean we have to…sleep with them?" Sano stuttered
"This is a red light district and of course the purposes of our inns are to provide services to customers…so yes, there is a possibility…"
"There is no way in hell that I'm sleeping with some perverted nut case!" Heisuke screeched
"Yeah, I second that emotion…besides…I…I…I'm engaged!" Everyone turned to Shinpachi with a dumbfounded look
"Um…well…me too! My fiancé isn't the one to be messed with…um…he's a Shinsengumi man as well" Sano added, "He's…He's…He's Harada Sanosuke"
"I'm sorry but...but the moment you step foot in my inn is the moment you've sold your soul to me…" Miss Yakamura said coldly as she continued to walk on
"BUT WE'RE NOT…WE'RE NOT LIKE THAT!" Heisuke said exasperatedly
"By that I presume you mean a whore?"
"No…I mean…yes…I mean…look, it's hard to explain our situation but we just can't do that!"
"You and your girls are lucky to only work here until you're uncle's debt is paid, many of my friends and including myself must work here for life" Miss Yakamura stated sadly.
"I know and I feel your pain but…but…but…but…to hell with keeping the secret…BUT I'M A MAN!"
Everyone gasped as they all looked at Heisuke
"What the hell are you doing you big ass?" Shinpachiasked through gritted teeth
"Spread our secret around and I swear you'll be dead before sunrise" Hijikata added maliciously
Miss Yakamura looked at them suspiciously before bursting into fits of laughter, "Nice try Hisaki-chan but…but you're little antics won't convince me to change my mind…I understand that you girls have lived pampered lives but this is the real world now and in the real world us women are nothing but toys"
The group nodded in understanding
"Hopefully you girls will be lucky enough to not end up sleeping with a customer…but I cannot guarantee that…"
Hijikata noticing the hint of sadness in the young woman's voice softly asked, "So…um…how long have you been working in Shimabara?"
"Almost three or maybe four years" she replied simply
"Um…how…how did you end up working here?" Hijikata asked, his curiosity getting the best of him
Miss Yakamura scoffed, "Aren't you the curious one…at first you didn't want anything to do with me and now you're acting like a moth drawn to flame"
"I'm just being sincere here damn it" Hijikata snarled
"Well I'm being sincere as well…it's none of your business"
"Did you come here on your own?"
"Didn't I just say to butt out?"
"I intend to know everything about my superior…the one I work under" Hijikata felt like kicking himself, never did he ever imagine uttering such words
"Well since you're such a curious cookie I'll give you a history about myself; my father was a samurai from Edo…and a good for nothing big drunk…one day that bastard got into big trouble with some local yakuza, in the end when he was asked what he could give in exchange for his life so in the end he offered to sell me and my mother."
"I'm…I'm sorry I asked" Hijikata apologize as he mentally cursed the idea of even asking her about her
"That bastard even had the audacity to sell my mother first despite her being in ill health, then he sold me but I got away moments before the trade was to be made…but apparently some bastard told the yakuza I was escaping and they sold me to this inn…did you enjoy my history Toshimi-chan" Miss Yakamura asked coldly
"You've been through a lot…it must have been hell"
"Sure has, but the only thing that is keeping me from killing myself is the fact that I need to earn as much money as possible and buy my friends from these slums…we're here…time to work girls…"
The "girls" entered the inn reluctantly; a certain ominous aura of déjà vu filled their senses being that they did inhabit the inn a night ago.
"Yakamura-sempai! Yakamura-sempai! Welcome back…" A young girl with long raven hair greeted cheerfully
Heisuke slinked into the darkness noticing that the girl before him was the same girl he had conned to get a room for free
"Eh…who are they?" Another young girl with short brown hair asked curiously with a smile
"They are the nieces of that Miburo commander…they will be working here to pay off their uncle's debt" Miss Yakamura replied as she removed her sandals
"Oh…so you're the nieces of the bastards who left without paying" the brown haired girl said smugly, "So you're uncle couldn't come up with the money so he sold you instead?"
"I think its more of that captain's fault…um…the one who tried to bribe me…I can't get his name…"
"Like that low life matters"
"SHUT UP YOU UGLY TWERP!" Heisuke blurted out, "I mean…how…you dare insult my uncle?"
"Relax Hisaki-chan…she wasn't talking about your uncle…she was talking about one of the Shinsengumi captains…" Miss Yakamura said with a smile, "Okay now, customers will come soon so go get ready and I'll inform you girls your tasks"
End of Flashback
"I hate my life" Shinpachi uttered as he looked at himself from the mirror, his long locks were now tied up fancily in a bun arrayed with colorful pins and ribbons. His face covered with make-up and his lips red from the lip reddening, he had on a fancy green kimono with golden accents.
"You don't look that bad" Sano said as he tried to stifle his laughs, "I…I like your attire"
Shinpachi sighed, "Go ahead and laugh, I know I look horrible so there's no point of trying to force yourself to laugh"
"Well in that case, you look creepy"
"Glad you're being honest" Shinpachi smiled forcefully, "You look ugly too"
Sano gasped, "Um…Shinpachi…um…look…look…look over there"
Shinpachi turned around and nearly fainted at the monstrosity he saw, Heisuke had on a pink kimono with floral accents its sleeves sliding off his shoulders exposing his torso. His hair was in a messy bun with an array of red pins, his make up barely noticeable but the lip reddening dark and sultry.
"Well what do you guys think?" Heisuke asked seductively
"HEISUKE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Shinpachi screamed
"I'm looking gorgeous for the customers…what about you, what the hell are you doing?"
"I'm looking like a decent tea server not a prostitute…you man whore"
"Don't be jealous because they beautified me best" Heisuke retorted smugly
"Well at least we have some decent respect for women! What the hell are you wearing?"
"The girls told me that many customers here pay big to be with a beautiful woman…so this is the only way to attract customers" Heisuke smiled
"I think I've gone blind on one eye" Sano said as he twitched madly, "Oh shit there goes the other one"
"You're not wearing that!"
"And who made you boss?"
"Its inappropriate and it suggests it all!"
"Its cute and sexy and you know I have a fetish for cute things and yes maybe even the sexy"
"Yeah and grubby drunk men also have fetishes for cute and sexy things and you in that outfit just spells out "easy target" so take it off now!"
"No way! I like what I'm wearing and there's no way I'm changing"
"Sano give me that tea pot…I'll knock some sense back into this idiot"
"PUT THAT TEA POT DOWN SHINPACHI! AHHH WHAT THE HELL…STOP!"
Two rooms down, a certain shinobi and two bickering brothers were getting ready for their first day of work.
"I'm not wearing that!"
"Tetsu…as your brother I will not allow you to wear such suggestive clothing!"
"It's a freaking kimono you weirdo…what the hell is so suggestive about it?"
"Men like to prey on younger girls…if you wear this grandmother disguise they won't even dare look your way"
"Be reasonable Tatsu…what the hell would an old lady be doing here?"
"JUST PUT IT ON!"
Susumu twitched, "Those three idiots are noisy and now these two...god save me..."
"NO!"
And twitched
"PUT IT ON NOW!"
And twitched
"MAKE ME"
And clutched his fists
"STOP BEING STUBBORN!"
And gritted his teeth
"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S ACTING ALL WEIRD OVER A KIMONO!"
And muttered profanities softly
WE'RE IN SHIMABARA NOW SO PRECAUTIONS MUST BE TAKEN…PUT ON THE GRANDMA DISGUISE"
"MAKE ME!"
Finally the shinobi cracked, "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!"
Tetsu and Tatsu turned to look at the fuming shinobi.
"Tatsu stop being so worrisome and quit making the idiot wear that freaky outfit that resembles beggars attire"
"YOU WANTED ME TO LOOK LIKE A HOBO?"
"IT WAS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! NO ONE WOULD WANT TO PERUSE A HOBO"
"Unless it was a cute hobo" Tetsu joked
"I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT…QUICK! EAT THIS GREEN STUFF TO MAKE YOUR TEETH HIDEOUS!"
"ONCE AGAIN STOP!" Susumu screeched, he was now close to taking out his kunai set and stabbing both of them. "Let's just get ready in peace and get this over with"
Tatsu and Tetsu nodded, "Yes boss!"
In another room across from the three comedians, the reluctant vice commander, the effeminate 1st division captain and the eerie 3rd division captain sat quietly in silence.
"Those idiots are so loud…I can hear them from here" Hijikata stated
"They seem to be in the geisha spirit…and how about you?" Soji smiled
"Shut up"
"Well to me you look very nice Hijikata-san…I mean Toshimi-chan" Soji joked innocently
"Shut up you moron" Hijikata stated coldly, "I can't believe this is happening to me"
"Think of it as an adventure" Soji replied cheerfully, "Like a mini vacation from work"
"Just how the hell can this be a mini vacation…I'm a whore in shimabara, dressed in a very hideous kimono working with a bunch of idiots…my life is in hell"
"Saitou-san seems to be enjoying this, he's even smiling"
"Are you kidding me? He's smiling because he's imagining a Choshu spirit has just attacked him!"
"Actually I'm imagining this entire inn being set ablaze and there are no survivors"
Hijikata and Soji sweat dropped and backed away
After finishing up their make-up, the "girls" gathered around a smaller room and awaited for Miss Yakamura's instructions.
End of Chapter
Hmmm...I wasn't fond of this one...its been a while since I've written on this story so my inspirations are lacking but I need to write a new chapter since there are kind readers waiting...yey to you...my story has been dragging but I promise not to let that continue...anyways hope you liked this one and i will update as soon as possible its just that i couldnt squeeze in the time to but now I shall write more...read and review okk???
what did u guys think of my upcoming stories? would you want to read them???? tell me ok???
PREVIEW FOR CHAPTER XIII
"Its time to assign you tasks!"
"I have to play the koto"
"I'm a freakin fan dancer? what the heck is that?"
The boys...er...I mean...the girls get new jobs at shimabara