Life as a SOLDIER

Disclaimer: Darkness has crept back into the mind of this dark Fairy/Elf.

A/N: Oy… It was a terrible weekend… TERRIBLE! Bad things happened to me… I can't even begin to describe them… AH! I need to take my angst and my horror and my tragedy… I won't even go into detail about it, but this chapter should give you a good idea about what happened… I'm sorry if this chapter seems too dark when compared to the light-hearted one of the last chapter, but… I need to let it out! -sniffle- Please try to understand… Uh, let's carry on…

Chapter Nineteen: A New Horror Named Death
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"Listen up, first class SOLDIERs," barked Bruce as he paced around the room. "Pretty soon, it'll be time for the annual field training. Those bastards from the other companies are gonna try and destroy all of you, so you must go and destroy them back!"

"Other companies?" repeated Cloud. "I thought Shinra was the only company here."

"It is the only company here," said Zack, looking slightly uncomfortable. I forgot about this completely… What should I say to him?

"Out of all 64 of you," continued Bruce, "only 20 of you will be assigned to this field mission! If you are one of the twenty, you'll be informed via e-mail. If you don't have e-mail now, I suggest you go get one!"

Cloud looked up at Zack. "Zack? What does that mean? If Shinra is the only company, then what are the other companies is Bruce talking about?"

"So now that that announcement is over, let's continue with the regular training!"

Cloud looked over to Sephiroth, but he was already walking to the front of the room with Bruce and two other first class SOLDIERs. "Zack, what does it mean?" he asked, looking up at Zack with confused blue eyes.

"…I'll--I'll tell you later," said Zack as he led Cloud to a clear corner for training. "Field training is… it is…"

"Okay, tell me later," sighed Cloud.

"…okay, I'll tell you now," said Zack, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one was listening. "Field training is… where SOLDIERs learn how to kill."

"Learn to kill!" repeated Cloud, looking incredibly surprised.

"Yes, Cloud… It's like a core class here at SOLDIER… Twenty first class SOLDIERs are chosen at random to go and kill off the other companies… or in other words, test dummies created for this purpose alone…"

"But--But why would Shinra teach their SOLDIERs how to kill?" asked Cloud, looking quite horrified. "If Shinra is a good company, then there's no need for learning how to kill, right Zack!"

Zack didn't answer right away, and he looked away before answering. "Sometimes good companies have bad people running them, Cloud…"

"But… That's not right!" cried Cloud. "They can't actually do that, can they?"

"They do it every year… Ever since Shinra Company got started… Cloud, you'll be chosen to go on this mission. I know, shachoo sent me an e-mail regarding the field training. You'll be going, but I won't be."

"What! I-I can't go, I've never…" Cloud trailed off hopelessly, shaking his head. "Why didn't you tell me before about this?"

Zack lowered his head. "I thought that if you knew, you'd want to leave… And I don't want you to leave Shinra…"

Cloud blinked in surprise, looking up at Zack. "You mean…? You want me here?"

"Cloud, listen to me," said Zack urgently, kneeling down slightly so he could look Cloud in the eye. "Sephiroth will be going too, he always goes. But he'll try to make you kill, Cloud, and I don't want you to kill."

"What do you mean?" asked Cloud, his eyes shaking with a new fear.

"You're innocent, Cloud. I know you are. But once you take your first life, your innocence is shattered, destroyed. I won't let you be broken, Cloud! So you have to leave your swords here, okay? They haven't seen death, and it's too early for you to try to kill."

"But I--"

"You can take my weapon. When the time comes, take my weapon with you. Just in case."

"Okay… When do we leave for field training?" asked Cloud, looking towards the front of the group where Bruce, Sephiroth, and the two other SOLDIERs were talking.

"Usually it's the day after they announce the field training," said Zack. "Most likely you'll be leaving tonight, though… Cloud, when you get to Midgar, find your friend Tifa, okay? Find her and make your way to the church. Aeris might not be around at that time, but the church is always safe. And whatever you may do, do not look for Sephiroth."

"Why not?" asked Cloud.

"Because he'll be… Sephiroth is… Just--Just don't look for Sephiroth, okay? Be very careful not to."

"Okay…"

Cloud, I'm sorry to put you through something else so terrible so soon… Please, don't let him see death so soon…

The four SOLDIERs at the front of the room seemed to have reached an agreement, and faced the room. "Okay, we've reached a decision! We're all going to chose five SOLDIERs each, while the rest have to stay here and hide like a girl! We'll notify the twenty chosen by 7:30 PM tonight, for we leave at 10:00 PM!"

"We have to leave right away?" asked another SOLDIER, asking Cloud's question. "Why? Can't we leave tomorrow?"

"Yeah!" agreed another SOLDIER. "If one of us is the chosen twenty, we'll miss dinner!"

"Dinner is unimportant in the face of field training!" yelled Bruce, making the whole room flinch. "What's important is defending Shinra Company from others who want to harm the company."

"Training is dismissed early," said Sephiroth more calmly. "Go on to your rooms and think things over, check e-mails, and whatever. But if you're one of the chosen twenty-" for a split second his eyes fell to Cloud, then he looked over the room "-be ready to leave for Midgar so that we may defend it. On your way."

Cloud looked up at Zack. "Can--can we talk about this?"

"Sure, Cloud, come with me," said Zack, sheathing his sword and taking Cloud up to his room. "I'm sorry I never told you about field training," started Zack apologetically, sitting on the edge of the bed. "But, now I know I should have told you, Cloud…"

"I understand your reason for not telling me," said Cloud quietly, sitting down next to Zack. "But…. I'll let you know, Zack, because of you, I'll never leave Shinra or SOLDIER…"

Zack looked at Cloud in surprise. "Because of me?" he asked.

Cloud nodded, not meeting Zack's gaze. "Everything that's happened to me in Shinra so far, you've been here to help me… Through all of it. I'd never dream of leaving."

"You mean it?"

"I mean it!" said Cloud, looking up at Zack with something like fierce determination. "You are… the best friend I ever had, next to Tifa."

Zack smiled sadly. "But Cloud, tonight, I'm sending you to a place where your innocence could be shattered… And I'll feel terrible for you…"

"I won't blame you, Zack," said Cloud. "I never will blame you… I'll do my best top do exactly as you say…" he looked back down at his feet, his heart thudding heavily inside of him. Because, I feel for you, Zack, in a very new and wonderful way… and I don't want you sad or upset on my account…

"Thank you, Cloud, that makes me feel worlds better!" Zack put an arm around Cloud. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"I'm not sure…. But I'll try."

"Okay. Now, how about you e-mail Tifa and warn her about this, so she knows where to find you and where to go and so on."

"Oh right! Good idea!" Cloud stood up and hurried to his laptop, turning it on and opening up his e-mail. "Ah! An e-mail from Tifa!"

To: cs (at-symbol) yahoo (dot) com

From: fists (underscore) of (underscore) fury (at-symbol) yahoo (dot) com

Hey, Cloud, I got something exciting to tell you! I'm sure you've heard of him: Cid Highwind, the Shinra's (ex)Finest Astronomer has come to work at my bar! He got fired from Shinra apparently, and was looking for a job so I decided to give him one. I need someone older to help me manage by uncle's bar anyway.

What about you, Cloud? I bet many new good things have happened to you! Remember to tell me, all right? Okay, bye!

Tifa Lockhart

Cloud saddened as he read the e-mail. "Good things…" he repeated. "Oh, I wonder who Cid is? I heard of him once… But now I can help Tifa and her new friend then… Oh, how I hate having to bring to her bad news when she seems so happy…"

To: fists (underscore) of (underscore) fury (at-symbol) yahoo (dot) com

From: cs (at-symbol) yahoo (dot) com

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid good things aren't happening here at Shinra… You see, Shinra Company is going to send something like test subjects to Midgar to attack and destroy, and twenty of us first class SOLDIERs are going to have to… Well, we'll have to kill them.

I'm not going to kill anyone though; I'm going to find you and your friend Cid and take you both to the church. According to Zack, it should be safe place to stay. Maybe Aeris will be at the church and… I dunno, protect you all or something.

I'm scared, but don't worry about me. I'll meet up with you outside of the 7th Heaven Bar tonight, okay? I'll find you without fail; you can count on that! Cloud Strife

Cloud hit the send button with shaking hands. I never expected anything like this… Why did something like this have to spring up now of all times in the world…?

"Cloud?" asked Zack. "I'll try to see if I can go with you, okay? Would that make you feel better?" Cloud nodded wordlessly, staring at the bed with scared eyes. Zack walked over to Cloud and placed a hand on Cloud's shaking ones. "I'm with you, Cloud, no matter what happens."

"Ok--Okay, Zack," said Cloud, feeling slightly calmer with Zack's hand against his own. "Thank you…"

Zack was about to agree when the door knocked. "Cloud! Are you in there?" Sephiroth opened the door, poking his head in. "Come on, Cloud, we're leaving. We've assembled our twenty, and you're one of them."

"Isn't Zack coming too?" asked Cloud, looking greatly frightened that they were leaving right away.

"No, Zack has to stay here," said Sephiroth. "Let's go."

Cloud looked back at Zack, who nodded and said, "Of course, Sephiroth, but first, I have to tell Cloud something. In private."

"Very well," said Sephiroth, narrowing his eyes. "Make it quick, we leave in twenty minutes."

"Sure," said Zack, and turned to Cloud after Sephiroth left. "Here, Cloud, leave your swords here. If you're forced to kill, I don't want your blades to taste the blood."

"Su-Sure…" stammered Cloud, taking all the swords and setting them on the table. "But what weapon will I take instead then?"

"Take mine," said Zack, unsheathing his sword and placing it in Cloud's hands. "This sword have seen blood, and have tasted it. It might even want more blood to taste. But do your best not to kill, Cloud." He put his hands on Cloud's shoulders so he could look Cloud straight in the eye. "You're someone very special, Cloud. I don't know how or why, but I can sense it. You have something to give to the world, and you can't become that if you become a killer. Remember, don't look for Sephiroth, okay?"

"I understand," said Cloud, sheathing Zack's sword. "I'll try not to…"

Zack sighed with relief. "Okay… So I guess I won't be going… Cloud, really… Be careful. Those test subjects are programmed to kill anyone and anything on sight… Hopefully Tifa got the e-mail in time to warn her friend to go to the church."

"I hope so…" said Cloud, turning to walk to the door. "Zack," he started suddenly, looking back. "I want to--"

But Zack held up a hand to stop Cloud. "Whatever your thinking of saying to me, say it when you get back. I don't want your mind to be wandering elsewhere when you reach Midgar."

"But I… Okay, Zack… I'll see you later…" Cloud left the room and closed the door. If I don't come back, this could be the last time I'll ever see Zack, realized Cloud as he made his way downstairs to where the twenty first class SOLDIERs were assembled.

"Are we all here?" barked Bruce. "Okay, into the vans, let's go!"

Cloud felt a hand grab his wrist and looked up at Sephiroth in surprise. "Sephy? What are you doing?"

"I'm taking us through a shortcut," answered Sephiroth, leading Cloud away from the vans. "I always take this route… Quite frankly, I just get there so fast it's like I flew there…"

"Sephy?" asked Cloud again, looking slightly worried at the maniacal gleam in Sephiroth's eyes.

Sephiroth suddenly took off, dragging Cloud along behind him. "Awa!" yelled Cloud. "Not--Not so fast!"

"What are you talking about?" asked Sephiroth. "We're here already… Much faster then it would have taken the others. Oh, and we're just in time, Midgar is already aflame."

Cloud gasped out loud at the horrific sight that lay before him: Midgar was certainly aflame, the raising smoke said it all. From the distance, Cloud could hear the panicked voices of civilians, and screams and shouts in the distance. The sky was extremely dark, with a few stars shining here and there. It looked as if Midgar was surprise attacked. "Oh my god…!" breathed Cloud, taking an involuntary step back.

"It's not that bad," said Sephiroth with a fond look at the flaming city. "I look forward to field training every year… But if you don't want to join me in the free-for-all, then go on and find your friend. If she's still alive," he added with an evil smirk, and he charged towards the city.

"…! Tifa! Don't worry, I'm coming…!" Even though fear racked through his whole body, Cloud hurried to Midgar, trying to find the familiar sights of the 7th Heaven Bar in the hazy smoke and scattering embers. "Tifa!" he yelled. "Tifa, are you here?"

"Cloud! Oh, Cloud, you came!" Tifa spotted Cloud and she hurried towards him. "We have to get away!" she said, her eyes bright with fear.

Cid was close behind Tifa. "I managed to get a few bottles of wine from the cellar, especially Chateaux '90!"

"Cid, thank you!" said Tifa appreciatively. "Now I can rest easier… but Cloud, where can we go? I can't see very well in the haze!"

"Neither can I," answered Cid.

"I know where to go," said Cloud, taking both Tifa's and Cid's hands. "Follow me!" he hurried the two to the church, which miraculously seemed unharmed. "We'll be safe in here!" the entered the church and closed the door.

"I got your e-mail, but as soon as I got ready to try to warn everyone, I heard a terrible explosion. There was several of them!" Tifa sat down on a bench, still clutching the bottle of Chateaux '90.

"And all were big and-a quacking," said Cid, sitting on the other bench. "There was even an explosion across the street! I looked outside and saw that the city was on fire. So many of them… them monsters where there, they looked like aliens or something…" he shuddered. "No one minds if I smoke, do they?"

"Not at all," shivered Tifa.

"How did Cloud know about this?" asked Cid, taking out a packet of cigarettes and lighting one.

Cloud didn't answer; instead he walked over to a pillar and leaned against it, holding his left arm unconsciously. It's acting up again… But I won't let it bother me now…

"Cloud?" asked Tifa, looking over at Cloud. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," answered Cloud, facing Tifa and Cid. "I knew this was coming because Bruce told us. All of us first class SOLDIERs take a class called field training… it's where you learn to kill."

"You told us that," said Tifa. "In your e-mail. But how were you chosen for this? You're still practically a green SOLDIER, you have no real experience in killing or fighting or anything!"

"That's why they chose me, along with twenty others… they're not here yet though…"

"Then how'd you get here so fast?" asked Cid, dusting the cigarette off.

"Sephy took me here, he got here fast and decided to take me along…" he trailed off, remembering Zack's warning before he left.

"Who's Sephy?" asked Cid.

"Sephy is Cloud's nickname for Sephiroth, the best of Shinra's SOLDIERs," answered Tifa and turned back to Cloud. "But if so, why did he bring you of all twenty?"

"I…have no idea," said Cloud quietly, staring at the flower garden. "Is Aeris here? I haven't seen her…"

"No, I don't' think she is," said Tifa, looking around. "I certainly don't sense her around. She has this… I don't know, peaceful aura about her, and I don't feel it right now…"

"But this church is her safe haven?" Cid looked around. "This place seems to be the only building that's unharmed. Maybe that's her magic as the last Cetra?"

"You know about that?" asked Cloud in surprise.

Cid shrugged. "Who hasn't heard of her? Aeris has been the biggest target for Shinra for the longest time, but she's always evaded them. I'm not surprised that she built this place as a protection from everything…"

"I guess," sad Tifa looking at the flower garden too.

"I should go try and find other people," decided Cloud, standing up. "I'll be right back."

"But, Cloud, what if you get attacked by someone?" asked Tifa, looking around in shock at Cloud. "You could be killed, or worse…"

Cloud hesitated, then shook his head. "I--I can't just sit here and let innocent people die out there… I just can't!" he walked towards the door. "I'm scared, but… I have to face down my fears, that's a way to become stronger… for you, Tifa, right?"

"Cloud…"

"I'll come back. I will, don't worry," said Cloud, looking back at Tifa and Cid. "You two please wait here… I--I'll be right back…"

"Okay, kid, just be careful," said Cid, albeit looking concerned.

Cloud nodded and left the church, and backed against th door as he closed it. I have to try… he thought. I must! How else can I become stronger if I don't try? he let out a shuddering sigh and hurried off into the flame-infested city, searching for survivors. "There were so many people living here," he muttered to himself, squinting his eyes in the dark flames. "There has to be somebody here…"

"OI! Cloud!" yelled a voice.

Cloud jumped and whirled around. "Zack!" he cried in surprise.

Indeed it was Zack. He looked out of breath but relieved all the same. "I couldn't leave you, Cloud!" he said. "Not to a fate like this! I snuck into the back of the van and ran all the way here. I know I could find you here."

"But why? What are you going to do?" asked Cloud.

"I thought I'd help you out. The fighting is all on the other side of town, scattered everywhere, but not near this church. Are we going to try to find civilians?"

"Yes, I wanted to--"

"No!" said Zack firmly. "You get back to the church and I'll go find civilians! I'm better at carrying people, and there's too much of a risk in you accidentally fighting someone or worse… Go back, okay?"

"But Zack, I just…" Cloud looked to the ground, listening the flames roar loudly around them. "I can't… I want to try to help someone…But now that I know you're here…"

"Cloud, I understand. You want to prove yourself to someone, right?" Zack leaned down to Cloud. "But not now, okay? Go back to the church."

"…ok-okay," stammered Cloud, turning around. "Be careful, okay?"

"I will, I always am!" said Zack. "Now hurry!"

Cloud took off into the city, trying to retrace his steps back to the church. Oh, no! I don't even remember where to go now… I'm lost! I'd better go find Zack again…! but Cloud stopped and looked around. From what he could tell, this place wasn't anywhere near the church, nor was it near the bar. "Did I go the wrong way?" he asked aloud.

Suddenly, Cloud heard someone's yell being cut off, and a body fall. "Well, that was easy," said a satisfied voice.

"What was easy?" asked Cloud automatically, which he always did when he heard a statement like that. He looked back and froze at what he saw.

Sephiroth was standing before a dead body, shaking his head. "Those things are never a challenge anymore…" He felt someone staring at him and turned to face Cloud. "Ah, Cloud! I'm glad you could make it!" he said as though welcoming him to a party.

"You--you just…" stammered Cloud, now looking at the dead body.

"What, that?" asked Sephiroth, pointing with Masamune at the dead body. "This was no person of any importance… Just a test subject for us first class SOLDIERs to kill. Why haven't you drawn your sword yet?" When Cloud didn't answer, Sephiroth smirked. "I suppose you were thinking you could slip slide out of death, weren't you? That's not a good way to be, Cloud. It's easy, watch this." he looked around and spotted an injured civilian on the ground. "Death isn't so bad when you think about it," he told Cloud. "You see, this person is suffering. It would be cruel of me to just let him live with all that. Come here, Cloud. You'll be doing him a favor if you kill him now."

"I--I can't--" stammered Cloud, wanting to run but his feet were rooted with a new wild fear.

"You can't?" asked Sephiroth with something like a mocking care in his eyes. "Oh, poor little Cloud. Maybe you need an example. Watch." Sephiroth faced the person on the ground and brought Masamune down upon the man's throat, nearly beheading the man; he was dead in an instant. "There. Easy as pie."

"You--you just… killed him…" gasped Cloud, staring in horror at the now-dead man. "He was…"

"Cloud, do you see this?" asked Sephiroth, coming towards Cloud. He raised the bloodstained Masamune up to Cloud's eye level. "Do you see this? Tell me what that red on the sword is."

"…it's--it's blood…"

"That's right, Cloud," said Sephiroth, giving the katana a shake, making a few drops of blood slip off. "Freshly spilt blood. See how dark and red it is? The darker the blood, the more fresh was the death. Swords were created to have blood spilt upon them." With an evil smile, Sephiroth swung the sword away from Cloud, scattering drops of blood everywhere. "Like so."

"…" gasped Cloud, staring with wide-eyed horror at the blood on the ground and on the sword. "That person… he was… you just…"

"Killed him," finished Sephiroth calmly. "One day, you'll come to appreciate the taste and feel of blood. Why not make that day today?" he led Cloud to another injured test subject on the ground. "You saw how it was done, Cloud. Now do as I did. Save this test subject by ending his life. Draw your sword and kill him."

"N-No, I… I can't kill…"

"Yes, you can," said Sephiroth, a cruel simper on his face. "You take your sword-" he took Cloud's hand and made him take out Zack's sword "-hold it at the ready like this-" he made Cloud hold the sword out to the test subject's throat "-and thrust it down onto his throat. Do it, Cloud."

Cloud did nothing, his breath beginning to come in short gasps. "I--But I… he's not…"

"Huh," said Sephiroth, still smiling cruelly, and he thrust Masamune down on the test subject's throat. "If you say so. But you can't deny it for long, Cloud."

"No, it's not right!" cried Cloud suddenly, dropping the sword and falling to his knees. 'It's not… right at… all…"

"No, it's not right," agreed Sephiroth. "But it sure is fun," he added, looking fondly at the burning city around them. "But I'm sure you were led here by accident, weren't you? If you want to run now, go on and run. I'm sure your friend Zack has already gotten your friends out of the city to safety. He might be looking for you." Sephiroth took a step forward, and glanced down at Cloud. "If you don't mind, I'm off to relieve my lust for blood. On your way."

Almost blindly, Cloud hurriedly stood up, sheathed Zack's sword and ran off. He didn't look back to see what Sephiroth was doing; he didn't look to where he was running; he didn't even notice the other bodies on the ground; all he did was run. After a few minutes of running, he made it outside of the city. He was nearly about to give up and fall when he ran into Zack. "…!" he gasped, looking up to see who he ran into. "Za-Zack!" he cried. He buried his face into Zack's shirt.

Zack gasped out loud and held Cloud. "Cloud? What--What happened to you? Why are you shaking?"

Cloud's frame certainly was shaking terribly; his shoulders shook with unheard sobs. "I--I saw him, Zack! I saw him! And he-- he did… he…"

"You--You saw Sephiroth?" asked Zack. "What…What did he do? Did he…?"

"He killed him! He was just an innocent person! Sephiroth just… killed him! And--And that test subject…! He didn't deserve that…! He didn't!" Cloud clenched onto Zack's shirt tightly, keeping his face buried into Zack's shirt. "He didn't deserve that! No one did..! But he just…"

Zack smiled sadly, holding onto Cloud with one arm while stoking his hair with the other. "Oh, Cloud… I'm so sorry I never told you… I should have taken you with me…" he looked up at the burning Midgar with sad eyes. I shouldn't have left him there at all… I should've been more worried about Cloud… "Come, Cloud, we're leaving… We're heading back to Shinra. Tifa and Cid are already there. You can go see them when we go back."

Cloud didn't seem to hear Zack; he still held on to Zack, silently crying onto Zack. "I can't… I can't….!" he cried.

Zack gently led Cloud to the van. "Come, Bruce has offered to drive us home. You can hold on to me the whole way if you like."

"Ok--Okay," sniffled Cloud as he followed Zack into the van. He grabbed Zack's arm tightly, burring his head into Zack's arm.

Zack used his free arm to hug Cloud. "I'm so sorry…" he repeated quietly. "Please forgive me for sending you off on your own…" he closed his eyes as Cloud continued to hold on to him. He opened his eyes to look at Bruce, who was up in the drivers seat. "Is anyone else coming?" he asked.

"Nope, just you and me and Cloud," he answered gruffly, turning the key in the ignition and driving off. He looked into the front view mirror at Zack and Cloud; Zack was still hugging Cloud, soothing him like the father figure he thought himself to be; Cloud, however, held Zack's arm as though his life depended on it, holding on tightly as to not let Zack go. "You were fearing this, weren't you?" he asked.

Zack looked up sadly at Bruce. "It's my fault… I told him to run off alone to find away out… I shouldn't have done it…" He looked back down at Cloud, who seemed to have fallen asleep holding Zack's arm. "What do you think of this?"

"That was you once," answered Bruce quietly, speaking in a new tone of voice, not his usual gruffness. "Just like that was your friends once… That was nearly everyone here at SOLDIER…"

"Everyone except Sephiroth…" finished Zack.

"Sephiroth enjoyed his first kill, and he loves nothing more then killing innocent people… I suppose it's the fault of Shinra for making Sephiroth so evil and murderous…"

Zack bit his lip and looked away. "But…"

"I know," said Bruce, cutting across Zack. "You think Cloud's different. You care for him as if he were your own. You didn't want him to see death so young in his life."

"There never was anyone this young at SOLDIER," said Zack, looking slightly distressed. "Nobody. Not even I was this young when I saw death… No kid should have to see death this early in their lives…"

"You were about twenty, weren't you?" but it wasn't a question; it was a reminder. "Twenty is a young age."

"But sixteen is even younger!" fretted Zack. "I completely screwed up! I wanted to protect Cloud, to shield him from the bad thins in life! From what I read from his profile, he had a terrible life so far! If he didn't have Tifa in his childhood, he might not be alive today!"

"You wanted to be like a father to him because he had no family to raise him… Zack, you're leaning too much blame onto yourself. No matter what could've happened today, there was no way that Cloud was going to leave Midgar without seeing death."

"I just wish I could've done more for Cloud…" said Zack quietly. "I feel like I failed him or something…"

"No matter what happens, though," continued Bruce, "I know Cloud won't blame you. He never will."

"But he should," said Zack sadly, leaning onto Cloud, holding Cloud tightly. "Why won't he blame me, Bruce?"

"If you don't know why, then I won't tell you," said Bruce. "If you ask me, Cloud has made it pretty obvious. You haven't noticed yet, so I'll leave you guessing until you finally figure it out."

"…okay," said Zack. "If you won't tell me, I guess I'll figure it out on my own…"

"Or until Cloud tells you," said Bruce, throwing a huge hint.

Zack didn't notice the hint. "I guess I'll wait then," he said with a shadow of his old smile on his face, and he leaned onto Cloud and said before falling asleep, "Wake me up when we get there…"

"Sure thing," said Bruce, looking into the front view mirror one last time to see the two friends leaning on each other. One day, those two might have to face many different challenges and such… Either Cloud will give up and realize that Zack just views him as a son; or Zack will feel certain new feelings and feel for Cloud the same way Cloud does for him… One or the other…
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…phew. I managed to get most of my angst out with this chapter. WHEE! I feel worlds better…or not. Hmm. Well, I'll leave it at this for now. Stay tuned for chapter twenty! WOW! Chapter twenty!