Author's notes:
For this chapter I had to watch memoirs of a geisha but I couldn't stop laughing because as I was watching it I remembered the characters of my story being geishas and yes it made me laugh like a weirdo. Basically I was trying to do the teahouse sea in memoirs of a geisha and yeah do you remember where Sayuri is twirling the fans well yeah this is my rendition, so here's my latest chapter of my weird story! Read and Review because it makes me happy and inspired!
Chapter XIII
First Job
Miss Yakamura smiled pleasingly as the girl's entered her quarters, looking more feminine and radiant than before. The "girls" were surprised as well to see a very dashing looking hostess in front of them, Miss Yakamura whose hair had been styled in a low ponytail now had her hair in an elegant bun adorn with shimmering trinkets and such. She wore a golden kimono with red accents and dragon prints.
"My, my aren't we looking lovely" Heisuke said with a wink as he sat himself in front of the beautiful hostess
"You girls look breath taking as well, had I known you had that beauty in you I would have put you to work right away" Miss Yakamura said
"But you look lovelier" Heisuke said now suggestively earning him a whack from Shinpachi
"Hope you didn't forget that you're still a g-i-r-l"
Heisuke paused and hung his head
"Yakamura-san, we came for our job assignments" Hijikata said through gritted teeth, apparently his obi had been tied on too tightly giving him a limited supply of breathing space.
"Tonight very prominent guests will be gracing our inn, they are very influential men who expect only the very best and being that you girls have no experience you'll be in charge with the less prominent. Sanada-chan, Hisaki-chan and Shina-chan you three will be in charge of entertainment…"
"Um…can you be more specific?" Shinpachi asked uncomfortably
"Foolish Shina-chan, she doesn't even know the basics of being an admirable geisha" Heisuke said jokingly
"Well you three could be the performers, you could either do the traditional fan dance or sing or play to koto or shamisen"
Sano and Shinpachi sighed in relief, "I thought we had to..."
"Sleep with them?" Miss Yakamura interrupted with a grin
Sano and Shinpachi gasped, "You mean..."
Miss Yakamura gave a light hearted laugh, "Don't worry I have you idiots for your first job, they'll be intoxicated before you know it and you girls will get out easy"
"That's good to know"
"Anyways Tatsuki-chan and Tetsuna-chan you two could be in charge of going back and forth and getting more drinks"
"Yeah make sure to get so much drinks!" Sano said excitedly
"And try to accidentally spill some poison into it" Shinpachi added earning him a cold icy glare from the hostess
"Well at least doing errands... it's a decent job" Tatsu said in relief
"Hey what the big idea? You want me to serve drinks now...I'll have you know that I was a freaking page when I was a bo…"
Before the young redhead could finish Tatsu had been quick as a fox and silenced the boisterous page.
"We gladly accept your assignment" Tatsu said with a smile as he bowed
"Tatsu...let go...don't make me bite your hand!"
"Very well…Sonomi-chan, Hanajima-chan and Toshimi-chan you three will be in charge of the conversations and pouring the sake"
"Conversations? That sounds easy ne Toshimi-chan?"
Hijikata nodded
"Can I talk about the dark auras they posses?" Saitou asked boredly
"Wouldn't that be scaring off the customers?" Shinpachi asked
"Then there's nothing to talk about" Saitou stated simply
Everyone sweat dropped
"Is she...is she...is she always like that?" Miss Yakamura asked
"You mean weird like and thinks she can see dead people...yes she is" Heisuke said
"Hisaki-chan...you have an unusual aura in you..."
"Oh yeah and what would that be?" Heisuke asked smugly
"An aura of that of a moron"
Heisuke glared at the mysterious captain, "Like hell that's true"
"Do you really want to know?" Sano asked scratching his head
"Anyways last but not the least, Sumi-chan you shall be in charge of…hmmm…well I've given all the jobs so I guess you can assist with the entertainment, by any chance do you know how to play to shamisen or koto?"
Susumu who was born and raised to kill shook his head, "Would it be alright if I assist with the errands? I'm not very skilled in instruments"
"It's not only instruments you aren't skilled at" Tetsu joked earning him a punch from the said ninja
"Well I suppose you can be of their assistance but you see I will be in the other quarters assisting the important guests; so while I am away you can serve in my stead…is that good enough?"
"Absolutely fine with me Yakamura-sempai" Susumu said as he gave a courteous bow
"Well now that this is settled go to the last room of this hallway and prepare yourselves, the guests will be coming soon." With that said the young hostess gave everyone a pleasant smile and headed her way out.
"Miss Yakamura is lucky to serve such influential men, I wonder who they are" Soji stated simply
"I bet they're men from Choshu" Hijikata spoke out sternly, "The last thing I need is to be in the same roof with some Choshu scum bag!"
"There you go again Hijikata-san, for once could you just stay calm?" Soji asked exasperatedly, "You always think everyone's out to get you"
"Because they are!" Hijikata said defensively, "And I mean it!"
"Soji is right, maybe it could be just one of our guys; I mean it could be Aizu or others not necessarily Choshu men" Shinpachi retorted
"Well whoever they are all of you better keep your ears and eyes wide open; I want you to gather every bit of information is that understood?"
"Yes sir!"
"Even if we won't be in the same room as them we'll just have to find a way to get in on the action!"
"Um Hijikata-san" Sano muttered
"What now?" Hijikata asked angrily
"That...that just sounded kind of weird"
"Go to hell"
"Um...never mind"
Later that night…inside their designated quarters...
Moments later their guests arrived and thus began their first assignment as Shimabara geishas.
Tetsu and Tatsu found themselves working double time for not only were the men heavy drinkers they were heavy eaters as well
"I need three more plates of dango!" Tetsu screeched at his brother
"We need ten more bottles of sake!" A random guest called out
"Dango and Sake over here Tatsu…Hurry up damn it!" Tetsu screeched
"Stop yelling at me!" Tatsu screamed back, "I'm working as fast as I can!"
"Work faster damn it!"
"Since when was the little brother allowed to yell at the older brother huh?"
"MOVE YOUR ASS NOW!"
Tatsu gasped, "I thought I raised you well...oh why? oh why? oh why kami-sama did I end up raising a hooligan?"
"Here he goes again..."
Tatsu and Tetsu weren't the only ones having a rough first day; Hijikata, Saitou and Soji who were in charge of the conversations soon found themselves surrounded by a mob of drunken men with reeking breaths.
"And behind you I can see the spirit of your deceased aunt who you still owe money from, and you I see the spirit of your girlfriend and she doesn't look too happy and you I see some dark shadow lurking behind you perhaps that of your wife and trust me she isn't dead yet..."
The men backed away as the strange captain continued his rantings
"So tell me what your name was again?" A drunken man slurred as he approached Soji, his face inches away
"Um…um…it's Sonomi-chan and I think you've had one drink too many…" Soji said as he backed away from the man and his reeking breath
"Don't go yet pretty lady, the night's still young!" The man added as he put his arm around Soji
"I really think we should stick to talking about um...um...pigs?"
"Pigs? Now why the hell would I want to talk about pigs?"
"Because you guys are acting like it now" Hijikata thought coldly
"I own a pig...very adorable critter...so cute and..."
"Tasty..." The man added as he ate some tempura
"Excuse me?"
"I said pigs are tasty, boil them in oil, make them sizzle to perfection and then you have the most perfect barbeque"
Soji looked at the mean with a deathly gaze, "I sir do not tolerate mistreatment of pigs"
"So are you gonna introduce you to this piggy of yours...add some rice to that and mmmm...dinner is served"
Soji having had enough of hearing pig slaughter smacked the man upside the head, apparently he had been too drunk that he simply fell unconscious
"The night's not over yet and these bastards are getting drunk already" Hijikata snarled, suddenly he soon found himself being hugged tightly.
"Looks like I'm taking this pretty lady for the night!" the man said drunkenly
"You're not taking me anywhere you pathetic ahou" Hijikata retorted as he grabbed a cup and smashed it into the man's head causing him to fall unconscious.
"I love a feisty woman!" Another man said seductively before being clobbered by another sake cup
"Toshimi-chan don't use the nice cups" Soji scolded, "Here use the ugly ones!" He added with a smile as he handed the demon vice chief a cup
"Give him his funeral rights" Hijikata said coldly to Saitou as he raised the cup
"He won't die from that I'll have you know"
"This is just stage one, pass me that shamisen and I'll kill him"
Saitou grabbed hold of the shamisen but was soon stopped by Heisuke, "Don't you dare touch our props! We need it for our dance" Heisuke said
"Did someone say dance!" Another drunken man said with glee
"You girls gonna dance for us?"
"Yeah! We need to liven up this gathering! Dance for us! Dance!"
"Heisuke, why the hell did you have to go blabbing out that we were going to dance? Unless you've forgotten we don't know the first step of dancing!" Shinpachi screeched
"Relax my beautiful dandelion…"
"Did you just compare me with a freaking weed?" Shinpachi twitched
"Indeed I did…just be calm my bean sprout, I being a man whose seen his fair share of entertainment shall teach you the basics of dancing."
"Did you have any sake today?" Shinpachi asked smugly
"No why?"
"Because you're acting like a drunken baboon"
"I'll take that as a compliment, anyways I've seen geishas dance every time and its all basically about grace and posture so all we have to do is use these fans Yakamura-san gave us and do some graceful dance" Heisuke said as if it were really that simple
"I hope this works…" Sano said reluctantly as he grabbed two fans and began twirling it
"Trust me buddy, as long as I'm around this will turn out fine"
"As long as he's around we're screwed" Shinpachi whispered slyly
Yamazaki Susumu who had been minding his own business soon found himself with a shamisen in his hand and being ordered by a certain captain to play
"Play something while we dance"
"Didn't I just announce that I don't know how to play this crap?"
"Just play something and I don't care how"
Susumu shrugged, if Heisuke said that he could play it no matter how he did it then let the music and entertainment begin. Susumu strummed the strings slowly and soon the men's attention was caught by the radiant three girls in the spotlight, golden fans covering parts of their faces.
"Aren't they just beautiful?" Hijikata asked through gritted teeth trying his best to act friendly but in his mind he was mentally committing seppuku
"It'd be more beautiful if you joined in on the dance" The man replied with a wink
Hijikata grabbed hold of a sake bottle and was about to smash it on the man's head when Susumu suddenly strummed the strings louder thus increasing the tempo.
Heisuke being a "pro" began to dance gracefully
Shinpachi on the other hand who had no clue of what to do began twirling the fan in his fingers, "I'm getting the hang of this" he said proudly as he began twirling it quickly but soon the fan escaped his grasp and hit Hijikata's customer.
"MY EYE!" He screeched as he began twitching, "MY BEAUTIFUL EYE!"
"Keep dancing Shina! Hit his other eye!" Hijikata cheered, "While your at it hit his friends too!"
Shinpachi shrugged and began twirling the other fan, tossing it up and down while doing a random dance
"What the hell are you doing?" Heisuke demanded angrily
"What does it look like I'm doing, I'm dancing you idiot"
"Stop that! You look weird and you're ruining the dance"
Shinpachi grinned maliciously and flicked his fan at Heisuke, hitting him in the head "Make me" he said slyly
Heisuke eyed him dangerously, "I'll make you quit alright…take this you hack!" Heisuke screeched as he threw his fan at Shinpachi
"Two can play that game" Shinpachi began taking out his hair ornaments and used it as darts aiming at Heisuke
"Cut it out!" Heisuke demanded shielding himself with his other fan from the in coming "darts"
"This is actually way better than your little girly fan dance" Shinpachi said as he grabbed Sano by the collar and began yanking off the hair ornaments in his head
"WHAT THE HELL…CUT IT OUT…" Sano protested but it was too late Shinpachi had yanked off his hair ornaments, "IT TOOK THEM 3 FREAKIN HOURS TO GET MY HAIR DONE YOU KNOW!"
"Trust me buddy these hair ornaments are being put to good use" Shinpachi said with an evil grin as he threw them at Heisuke who had now took cover behind an unconscious customer
"Cut it out Shina...don't make me resort to violence"
"Be my guest...Hisaki"
"Well you asked for it..."
Hijikata who had been watching the pathetic scene before him groaned and gulped down two bottles of sake, "Tell me when this crap is over" he muttered to Saitou who nodded emotionlessly.
The men watched with awe and fright as random things began flying back and forth
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING? WE WANTED A DANCE NOT A BATTLE!"
Shinpachi turned to the man angrily, "THIS IS A DANCE DEAR SIR…THE DANCE OF DEATH!!!" With that said the short captain threw yet again another dart like object
"You boys entertained? You boys having fun?" Heisuke asked with demonic eyes
Everyone nodded their heads, "Sure we are…we've always wanted to see two geishas kill each other"
"Well tonight's your night boys…SHINA! ITS GO TIME!"
Two rooms down Miss Yakamura tried her best to contain her anger; clearly her new geishas were creating a mess but unfortunately being that she was serving a group of Japan's most influential men she could not leave.
"What was that racket?" One of her guests asked
"Oh ignore that, it is just a bunch of ruffians stirring up trouble once again"
"IM GONNA KILL YOU SHINA!!!!"
"NOT IF I KILL YOU FIRST!!!!"
"They sound like women to me"
Miss Yakamura twitched angrily, "Just a petty argument, no need to be alarmed"
"HAND ME A SAKE BOTTLE THIS GIRL'S GONNA DIE"
"EAT MY FOOT YOU HAG!"
"I'm sorry but after this certain incident I no longer feel comfortable with such boisterous noises just hearing the sound of smashing furniture sends chills down my spine…"
CRASH
BAM
SLAM
"Please try and relax as possible…and I truly apologize for this noise"
"HOW DOES THE FLOOR FEEL SHINA?"
"HOW DOES MY FOOT IN YOUR FACE FEEL HISAKI?"
"It is alright...hopefully those girls aren't on some killing rampage"
"Hopefully not...he he he..."
"DIE!!!!!"
"So relax and have some sake...you and your men are our valued guests"
"Are we now?"
"Indeed you are so please try and relax…Katsura-san"
End of Chapter
I wanted to end you with a cliffhanger but once again if you're familiar with the peacemaker anime and history of the shinsengumi Katsura is the leader of Choshu and thus making him the enemy of the Shinsengumi and in my story he doesn't like loud noises because it reminds him of the Ikeda-ya and you know the raid. Anyways hope you enjoyed my latest chapter because I had some fun writing it...I was watching memoirs of a geisha and I just couldn't stop laughing at the fan dance scene because my ideas started coming to me...anyways stay tuned for my next chapter...
PREVIEW FOR NEXT CHAPTER
Katsura Kogoro? Where?
What the hell were you two doing?
Killing each other?
Oh my god its wrinkles!!!