Life as a SOLDIER

Disclaimer: Deadly, although it won't be so deadly.

A/N: Let's see what happens.

Chapter Twenty-Five: A DeadlyRANDOM Experience
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Cloud sat down on the sofa, and didn't say anything. Rude and Reno sat on the opposite couch, awaiting Cloud to do something. "What do you suppose he'll do today?" asked Rude.

"I don't know, something good I hope," said Reno.

Cloud stood up suddenly, and walked towards the window.

"…?" went Rude and Reno at the same time, watching.

Cloud drew out his sword, turned around, and threw one sword at the ceiling, hitting the light bulb. It started sparking like crazy.

"Ah!" yelled Reno and Rude in surprise, hopping off of the couch.

Cloud seized this opportunity of their distraction to zoom over to them and beat the hell out of them.

With Zack…

"Oh my!" cried Zack.

"Wow, that's pretty intense," commented shachoo, writing down some more notes.

Zack quickly canceled the program. "Jeez, what kind of program is that! Rufus must be mad to write a program like that!"

"It'll be very useful one day," contradicted shachoo. "Cancel it and move on to the next program."

Zack nodded. "Right, shachoo…"

With Cloud…

Cloud stopped in his tracks, looking around. "My, what a mess," he exclaimed, heading for the sofa.

Rude and Reno were lying on the ground with anime swirly eyes. "It hurts…" whined Reno.

"I know…" whined Rude.

Cloud stared at them. "What happened to you two?"

"As if you don't know," muttered Reno, he and Rude heading back for the couch. "You beat the hell out of us, that's what you did!"

"Oh…"

"Don't play innocent! You know you did!"

"Reno, Reno, calm down," said Rude, patting Reno on the back. "It's all right. We're getting paid extra to do this, remember?"

That calmed Reno down. "Yep, okay then!"

With Zack…

Zack typed up the next DeadlyRANDOM and hit enter.

With Cloud…

"At least it won't take too long, right?"

"Right…"

Cloud looked between Rude and Reno, apparently trying to decided something.

"Hey, he's doing it again," whispered Rude to Reno.

"Who's gonna be the victim this time?" asked Reno back quietly.

Cloud had reached a decision; he chucked his sword away and dived from the couch to Reno, trying to strangle him.

"Aah!" yelled Reno in surprise.

"Oh my god, Reno!" yelled Rude in surprise.

With Zack…

"What an animal," commented shachoo, writing down notes.

"Strangling someone is kinda hard to do, especially with your bare hands" said Zack, canceling the program. "But I suppose it'll come in handy one day…"

"It sure will," agreed shachoo. "I can't wait to see the last two DeadlyRANDOMs."

With Cloud…

Cloud blinked, released Reno, picked up his sword, and sat down on the couch again.

"GASP!" gasped Reno, taking a deep breath. "I thought I was gonna die!" he wailed. "I saw a brilliant bright light! It was my grandma!"

"Your grandma's dead," said Rude in confusion.

"You don't have to remind me!" sobbed Reno. "I loved my grandma! She baked me cookies every Friday!"

Cloud blinked, looking between Reno and Rude. "Your grandma baked you cookies?" he asked.

"Yep! Chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, oatmeal raison cookies, you name it! She'd bake them for me, because I was her one and only grandson!"

"So, being her one and only grandson, was she your one and only grandma?" asked Rude, still slightly confused. Reno cried out and sobbed hysterically onto Rude. "Oh, I'm sorry," apologized Rude, rubbing his back affectionately. "I forgot how much you loved your grandma…"

At least you can remember her, thought Cloud, looking down at the table sadly. I don't remember my family at all…

With Zack…

Zack typed up "DeadlyRANDOM 3" on Cloud's program. "I hope they'll be all right," he said, and hit enter.

With Cloud…

Cloud drew out 4 of the 8 swords, combining them. Rude looked up. "Hey, what's he gonna do now?"

Reno stopped sobbing hysterically and looked up at Cloud. "I dunno, maybe he's gonna show us a fancy sword trick?"

Cloud raised the combined sword, powering up for an attack.

"…" went Rude and Reno, awaiting the whatever it was that was coming.

Suddenly, Cloud slammed the sword down, sending a burst of energy at Rude and Reno, causing a small, explosion inside the room (imagine the move Cloud did in AC when he parried Loz's attack in the Forgotten City).

"Aah!" yelled Rude and Reno in surprise.

With Zack…

Zack raised an eyebrow. "That's a cool attack…"

"Excellent, really excellent," muttered shachoo, writing down the results. "Cancel and get the next one ready."

"Yes, sir," said Zack, canceling the program. He typed up DeadlyRANDOM 4 on th programming.

With Cloud…

Cloud lowered the sword in confusion. "Whoa, what happened in here?"

Reno and Rude were swirly-eyed on the ground again. "Ow…"

Cloud stood up, combined the rest of his swords, and yelled out, "Materia!"

"What's that?" asked Rude, looking up.

Cloud looked around the room. "No, there's no materia in here…"

"He's talking in the fourth person," said Reno. "And what the hell is materia?"

"Uhm… I think it was some kind of power made from the Lifestream," said Rude. "I only heard about it once…"

With Zack…

"DeadlyRANDOM 4 makes you talk in the fourth person?" asked Zack curiously.

"He's asking for materia," said shachoo. "Give him one and see what he does."

"Where can I get materia?" asked Zack. "Materia is hard to get your hands on."

"Not when you're the shachoo of Shinra Company," answered shachoo, pulling a materia from his pocket.

Zack gasped out loud. "Did you pull that materia from your arse!"

Shachoo chuckled and tossed Zack the materia. "Give it to Cloud and see what he'll do with it."

"…" went Zack as he caught the materia. It was a light blue materia, and Zack could feel some power from it. "This is the power of the Lifestream?" he asked.

"Yes, it is. Now quit stalling and give it to him!"

Zack jumped. "Yes, sir!" He stood up and hurried to the room Cloud was in, where Cloud was still searching for a materia.

"Where's a materia…?" he asked, searching the desk drawers.

Reno and Rude looked at Zack. "You brought him a materia?" asked Rude in disbelief. "I'd have hoped you'd just give up and cancel the program…"

Zack ignored him, walking towards Cloud slowly. "Cloud? Hey, Cloud?"

Cloud stopped in his search to look back at Zack, then he noticed the materia in his hand.

"…you want the materia?" asked Zack, holding it out. "I bet you want the pretty materia, don't you?" he waved it around, Cloud's gaze following the path of the materia. He chucked to himself. "How cute."

"For goodness sake, just give it to him!" yowled Reno.

Zack jumped, dropping the materia. It rolled across the room to Reno's feet. "Oh, oops!"

Reno picked the materia up curiously. "Wow, this thing is so sparkly… I love things that sparkle."

Cloud narrowed his eyes and charged at Reno. "MATERIA!" he yelled, tackling Reno, toppling the two over the couch.

Rude casually looked over the other side of the couch. "Wow, tough fight," he commented.

Zack looked over too. "Oh, they're fighting over the materia…"

"It's mine!" yelled Reno.

"No, it's mine!" yelled Cloud.

They continued to struggle over the materia. Rude and Zack watched interestedly. "Wow, they're gonna kill each other!" exclaimed Rude. "Wanna watch?"

"Yeah, all right," said Zack.

"Give me my materia back!" yowled Cloud.

"No, it's mine now!" yowled Reno back.

"Blue materia are useless, give it to me!"

"If it's so useless, then why do you want it so much!"

"Cause it's mine!"

"Never!"

After a few more minutes of struggle, Cloud stood up with the light blue materia. "Yay! It's mine, I got it back!"

"No…"

"I wonder what he'll do with the materia…?" asked Zack to himself, leaving the room to go back to the room shachoo was in. "Is that light blue materia really useless?"

Shachoo shrugged. "Sometimes it is. If used right, it can really power you up. Other then that, it sells good on the market. You're talking about 140,000 gil per blue materia."

"Wow, that is a lot…" said Zack, watching Cloud's progress.

With Cloud…

Reno sighed angrily, sitting down on the couch. "Darn it, it was mine…"

"You can't have everything your way," said Rude wisely.

Cloud smiled fondly at the blue materia in his hand, took his sword, and turned around so Rude and Reno couldn't see.

"What's he doing?" asked Reno.

"Maybe he's powering his weapon?" asked Rude.

He was; Cloud turned around and both Rude and Reno could see the weapon was glowing rather ominously. Cloud raised the sword slowly, about to bring it down on the two…

With Zack…

Zack gasped and quickly canceled the program while shachoo laughed to himself. "How funny," he said. "He was gonna us the materia to power up the weapon and kill them both…" he stood up. "Good job, Zack."

"I don't enjoy it," muttered Zack, closing the laptop. "You shouldn't make Cloud the guinea pig all the time," he said.

"I know I shouldn't," said shachoo, heading for the door. "But I do anyway. Even you must admit that Strife makes a perfect test subject."

"No, I don't," said Zack sadly, but shachoo just smiled evilly and left the room. "I'd better go see Cloud!" he decided, rushing into the room.

Rude and Reno were at the door, both bumping into Zack. "Oh, hi Zack," said Rude politely.

"Your friend fainted on the couch," added Reno. "I think he has a cold or something."

"Oh, my!" cried Zack, rushing to the collapsed figure on the couch. "Oh, poor Cloud," said Zack, smiling a little. "Let me help you to your room…" Zack picked Cloud up and hurried up the stairs.

Rude and Reno exchanged glances. "You know what? We're alive," said Rude.

"Wow, I guess we are!" agreed Reno, and the two hurried back to their research room while Zack hurried Cloud to his room.
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Hee… wasn't that bad. Not too deadly, but it was okay. As always, thanks for reading. And if I don't update in a while, don't worry… I'll be pretty busy with other things the rest of this week, so you might not hear from me in a while. Don't despair, though, I'll be back! I always do return for you loyal listeners! -smiles- See you later!