Life as a SOLDIER

Disclaimer: This anime spoof was selected at random. Cloud had a strange dream, and this is what he dreamed. Enjoy.

A/N: Hey, that's my line! …bah, whatever. Let's carry on, and remember what I said last chapter: this is NOT supposed to be a parody-parody. This is Cloud's dream because he ate too much. Don't flame me because I can't make a good parody because I'm NOT trying to make a good parody, okay? Good. Why did I make an account on the weird dream Cloud had? …BECAUSE I CAN! MWAHAHAHAHHAHAAA! -ahem- let's carry on.

Oh, BTW, ShadeZero, you think my humor is good? Yo wuz up, you too? Aaw… Really? That's so nice of you to say so! Let's carry on!

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Cardcaptor Cloud-Cloud and the Final Judgment
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"Cloud! Come on down, breakfast is ready!"

Who's voice is that…? thought Cloud to himself, looking around. Where am I?

"Uh, sure!" called Cloud, getting out of bed. He looked around the room he was in again.

It looked like a room that would belong to a Japanese schoolgirl: it had a cute bed in the corner; a desk with drawers and a lamp on it with a roll-around chair; a smaller table next to it that had a whole bunch of dolls on it; a 24 inch TV in the corner of the room with a Nintendo game console with several scattered games near it; and a closet that was closed.

I'm definitely not at the 7th Heaven Bar anymore… thought Cloud. I must be dreaming… this can't be real…he reached his left arm and gave it a hard pinch.

Flash: Kids were laughing at Cloud as he tried to escape the bees they sent after him…

Cloud winced. Ow, damn, I pinched the stigma… he looked around hopefully. He was still inside the girlish room. Ok… What happened to me…!

The door opened, and Vincent stuck his head in. "Kaijuu, aren't you ready yet?" he asked teasingly. "Usually, we'd hear you thumping around like the kaijuu you are this early in the morning."

"Awa!" cried Cloud. "You're that Turk, aren't you! The one that spotted me in the closet when I hid from you Turks that one time!"

Vincent blinked. "What?"

"What are you doing to me!" demanded Cloud. "Why did you take me to a place like this!"

"Cloud, are you okay?" asked Vincent, looking slightly concerned. "Maybe you're not feeling well?"

"I'm feeling fine, my flu's all gone," said Cloud. "But that's not the point! Tell me what you plan on doing to me here!"

"Maybe you have a fever," said Vincent, walking over to Cloud and putting a hand on his forehead. "…no, you're temperature's normal…"

"Keep your hands to yourself!" snapped Cloud, pulling away from Vincent. "Don't touch me!"

Vincent blinked in confusion. "Are you sure you're feeling well, Cloud?"

"I'm fine!" insisted Cloud in exasperation. "Now will you tell me what's going on?"

"Hmm…" muttered Vincent suspiciously, narrowing his eyes slightly. "Fine. If you say so…" he turned and left the room, calling over his shoulder, "You'd better get going, dad says that you're in charge of making lunches today!"

"Huh? I don't know my dad," said Cloud. But Vincent was already gone; he didn't hear him. "What's going on…?"

A cell phone ringed somewhere.

"Awa!" said Cloud in surprise. He looked around, and saw a pink cell phone on the desk. He rushed over to it and answered, "Hello, this is Cloud."

"Hey, Cloud, good morning!" it was Zack on the other line. "I had hoped you were awake. I called to tell you that Tifa will be coming with us to the archery match today. She says she wants to be there in case something happens."

"Whoa, whoa, slow down, Zack!" cried Cloud. "What are you talking about!"

"…? The archery tournament? You know, the one Aeris was attending? I thought you'd be very excited to go see Aeris."

"…I-- Zack, this is craziness!" he exclaimed. "Will you tell me what's going on? I fell asleep at the 7th Heaven Bar, and I woke up here, in a strange house, and that Turk came in here and called me a 'kaijuu'! What's a kaijuu?"

"…Cloud, are you all right?" asked Zack, his voice filled with concern. "I understand that that dream you had was disturbing you lately…"

"I don't get it, what dream? Look, Zack, don't you agree that something weird is going on!"

"Are you sure you're okay? I'll come over right now if you want!"

"I--you will?" asked Cloud. "You know where I am? Please come get me!"

"I bet you and your brother argued this morning or something… Of course, Cloud, I'll come right away! Don't worry!"

The line clicked, and Cloud hung up too. "I really don't get what's going on…"

A few minutes later, Zack arrived, and he and Cloud were walking down the road towards the train station. "Cloud, seriously, are you okay?" asked Zack worriedly. "I was really worried about the amount of distress in your voice…and now your telling me a story about something that sounds like it came out of a Final Fantasy game."

"No, no, Zack, it really happened!" insisted Cloud. "I'm…stuck in some sort of dream-like state. Nothing here is real, yet at the same time, it is… I'm very confused right now…"

They got on the train and stood by the door, waiting for Tifa to arrive.

"Thanks for waiting!" called Tifa, waving and running over to them. "I was running a bit late!" she got on the train, and the train door closed and they took of towards the city. "We'll be there on time for Aeris's archery tournament, right?" asked Tifa.

"Yes, I'm sure we will," said Zack. "But I'm worried about Cloud. He's told me all about these worries…"

"Something's wrong with Cloud?" repeated Tifa, looking at Cloud. "What's the matter, Cloud?"

"Everything's the matter!" cried Cloud. "This place, where are we anyway!"

"How could you forget, we're in Tomoeda, Cloud."

"If it's that Tokyo Tower dream, Cloud, don't worry. I'm sure you'll be all right, no matter what happens," said Zack.

"Tokyo Tower?" asked Cloud, looking out the window towards a tall red tower. I might as well go with the flow for now… thought Cloud. Sooner or later, I'll discover what's going on…

Flash: a close-up on someone's eye…

Flash: a red-haired lady ringing a bell…

Cloud blinked, and looked down at the floor. This is a really strange happening right now… he thought, holding his left arm. I wonder what will become of this…?

Thirty minutes later…

The got off the train and walked into a shrine. "What place is this?" asked Cloud, looking around.

"This is the Tsukimine Shrine, Cloud," said Tifa, giving Cloud a sideways half-glare-half shifty-eyes. "You know, where ano onna is."

"That women?" asked Cloud. "You mean Aeris?"

"Yeah, the one you always go googly-eyed over."

"But I don't like Aeris," said Cloud, glancing at Zack in worry. "Really, I like someone else!"

"You don't have to be embarrassed," smiled Zack. "You make it pretty obvious the way you feel about her."

"But I-- She's too old for me!" wailed Cloud. "She's got to be at least five or six years older then me!"

"But…?" Zack trailed off, looking confused.

"I could never steal Aeris from you!" said Cloud, grabbing Zack's hands and leaning in a bit closer. "Seriously! Nothing would make me happier then to see you happy! Because I-- You're my best friend!"

Zack gaped at Cloud and turned his head slightly towards Tifa as though asking if this was normal for a Cardcaptor. Tifa sighed and said to Cloud, "Listen, Cloud, if something has happened to you, don't hesitate to tell us. We ARE your friend after all, and as equal candidates for Master of the Clow, we have to make sure we're both all right."

"Master of the what?" asked Cloud.

"The Clow… the Clow Cards? You know-" Tifa pulled out a random Clow Card "-the ones the great sorcerer Clow made a long time ago?" asked Tifa. "You have some, and I have some. But tonight should be the night we meet Yue the Judge. He'll decide who is the true Master for the Clow Cards."

"Huh…?" asked Cloud.

"If we stand here any longer, we'll miss Aeris's archery match," said Zack, checking his watch.

"We'd better hurry," agreed Tifa. "We'll discuss this more later, okay Cloud?"

"But I… Okay," said Cloud resignedly, following Tifa and Zack to the archery tournament at the Tsukimine Shrine. From what Zack always told me, Aeris couldn't shoot an arrow if her life depended on it…

There were several archers there, and among them was Aeris. "Miss Gainsborough sure looks calm about this tournament," remarked Zack calmly.

Cloud glanced at Zack in surprise. "Since when did you call Aeris 'Miss Gainsborough'!" he asked.

"…? She never said I could call her Aeris, it's only polite, after all…"

This is a strange place… thought Cloud as he watched the tournament. He barely paid attention during any part of the tournament, and even after Aeris won the competition after the red-haired lady lost, he still was lost in his own thoughts.

It wasn't until the picnic was Cloud brought out of his reverie. "Cloud! Aren't you going to congratulate Gainsborough too?" asked Tifa loudly.

Cloud blinked and looked up. "Awa? Oh, y-yes, I'm sorry! You--You did a good job, Aeris!"

"I nearly lost on that last match," said Aeris modestly. "I'm sure if that red-haired lady hadn't lost, she'd probably win instead of me."

"You did a great job," added Zack politely.

Cloud looked between Aeris and Zack. How odd… It's almost as if Zack never had any kind of feelings for Aeris at all… Cloud felt surprised to see himself smiling at that thought. No, no, what a cruel thought…! I wouldn't want to earn Zack's love that way!

After they all finished the picnic, they gathered their things and walked to the entrance way of the shrine. When Cloud crashed into a tall person in a bear suit… "Awaaaaa!" wailed Cloud in surprise as the tall person in the bear suit attacked Cloud.

"Oh, Cloud!" cried Zack in surprise.

"Oi! What do you think you're doing!" demanded Tifa.

The tall person in the bear suit stopped and took his head off to reveal Vincent. "Hello to you too," he said.

Cloud looked up. "Hey, it's that Turk again!"

"That's no way to talk about your big brother," said Aeris playfully. "What are you doing here, Vincent?"

"I work here part time," answered Vincent. "You know, for extra gil now and then…"

"I see. Did you see the archery tournament?" asked Cloud.

"No, I didn't, but I heard Aeris won." Vincent smiled at Aeris. "Good job, Aeris."

"Thank you, Vincent," said Aeris.

"Here you go, Cloud," said Vincent, handing Cloud a yellow balloon. He put the bear head back on and said, "I have to get back to my job now. See you all later, and be careful on your way home."

"Uhm…thanks, and thanks," said Cloud, looking at the balloon uncertainly.

After Vincent was out of sight, the red-haired lady came out of the shadows. "Before you go anywhere," she started, "someone has to be named the Master of the Clow. The Final Judgment will be held here tonight."

Tifa gasped out loud. "How did you know about that…?"

She didn't answer; instead she turned to Cloud. "Do you know where Yue is? I bet you don't…"

"What are you talking about?" asked Cloud. "I don't know who Yue is. What is he a judge of?"

"He is somewhere close to you," continued the red-haired lady, walking a few paces away and facing the group. "If you're going to come out, then do so now," she said.

Cloud looked back at Aeris. Why is she staring at Aeris like that…? How can Aeris become Yue if this Yue is a he?

The wind started to blow in the background, and Aeris fell to the ground. "…! Aeris!" cried Cloud.

"Miss Gainsborough!" added Zack fearfully.

"What did you do?" asked Tifa angrily at the red haired lady.

As suddenly as she fell, Aeris slowly was raised into the air, and slowly, pretty white wings flew from her back, covering her completely. A magic circle appeared under her, shining brightly, causing everyone to cover their eyes. Ah! What's happening to Aeris…! What's going on…! thought Cloud desperately as he watched the wings slowly unveil…

"Yue, the Judge," announced the red haired lady.

"Yue…?" repeated Cloud, shielding his eyes in the bright light. Yue looks like Sephy… This Yue has silver hair too… What's going on…?

Yue opened his eyes and looked down at the group before him. "These are the Candidates for Master of the Clow?" he asked sardonically. "What choices for me to judge…"

"So you are Yue…" said Tifa.

Yue approached Cloud and bended down to his eye level to meet Cloud's eyes directly. "It seems that you gathered a majority of the Clow Cards," he said softly.

"Aeris…?" asked Cloud, feeling as thought Aeris was in there somewhere.

"…however, some of the cards did go to someone else…" he said, straightening a little to glance at Tifa.

Tifa gasped, then growled and made a stance.

"Huh," scoffed Yue. "This should be interesting."

He and Tifa vanished suddenly. "…!" gasped Cloud, looking around. "Tifa…! Tifa, where did you go!"

"There, on the roof!" cried Zack, pointing upward.

Cloud looked up. "…! Tifa!" he cried, seeing that Tifa was getting whupped by Yue. He ran towards the shrine, but a barrier cut him away from Tifa. "No! Tifa! Tifa!" he pounded the barrier. "Why won't it let me in!" he demanded.

"You're not allowed to get help during the Final Judgment," said the red-haired lady. "If you do get help, then you lose."

"But that's not fair…!" gasped Cloud, looking up at the fighting. This is craziness…! What kind of place is this! I can't just wait here while Tifa's getting beat up…! Cloud didn't have to wait long for Tifa to show up; there was a loud scream from within the barrier. "Tifa!"

Tifa appeared and fell to the ground. "Ugh…Ow…" she muttered, staggering up. "Be--be careful," she said, straightening herself. "He's…strong…"

"Now, for the official candidate," said Yue as though nothing happened. He vanished to the Tokyo Tower while Cloud vanished to a building a few miles away from the tower.

"Huh?" asked Cloud, looked around. "Whoa, where am I?"

"You have to defeat me with the Clow Cards in your possession," said Yue. "If you can, then I'll name you the Master of the Clow. If you don't win, however… A catastrophe will befall this world…"

"A catastrophe?" repeated Cloud. "What do you mean by that?"

"If you lose, you'll find out, won't you?" asked Yue delicately. "Come now, attack me."

"How can I do that!" demanded Cloud. "If Tifa couldn't defeat you, then whose to say that I can! I don't want to fight right now!"

Yue sighed. "You agreed to this long ago when you released the seal on the Clow book. You have to decide now… Defeat me or surrender the cards, it's your choice."

Cloud gasped. I can't fight him now! he thought. I don't know what these Clow Cards are, much less how to use them…! Oh, what should I do?

Apparently Yue decided that Cloud was taking too long and his eyes glowed. He used his power to bring Cloud all th way up to the Tokyo Tower. "Now use the cards in your possessions and defeat me," said Yue.

Cloud shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I don't know how to use them… I'm not sure how or why this crazy dream came to be, but… It's just a dream. I'll wake up soon!"

SMACK

"Awa!" yelled Cloud in surprise. Yue had just flung Cloud across the tower. "Ow, what was that for?" asked Cloud angrily, rubbing his cheek.

"If you choose not to fight, then I'll defeat you myself!" Yue summoned some blue-silvery crystal thingys and shot them at Cloud.

"!" gasped Cloud and hurriedly ran away from them. "Aah! Why are you trying to kill me!" he demanded after the crystals were gone.

"As the Judge, I have every right to try any means to defeat you," answered Yue. "Whatever it takes."

"…if you want a fight, I'll give you a fight!" said Cloud menacingly, pulling out his sword. "Fine, I accept your challenge!" Without waiting a response, Cloud let out a war cry and charged at a surprised Yue.

"You can't use that meager sword to defeat me," said Yue. "It's not powerful enough."

"Oh yeah? Try me!" Cloud pulled out swords number two and three, combined them and attacked Yue again. Hah, this is only a dream! thought Cloud. An odd dream, but a dream nonetheless. I won't be defeated!

As good ol' Cloud would have it, he didn't lose. After a long battle, Yue was finally brought to his knees, defeated "I--I lost….? But how?"

"Easy, I'm not as weak as you think," said Cloud. "Now somebody wake me up, this dream has seriously weird me out…"

"Sure, I guess," said Yue. "This isn't your world anyway."

"Yeah, I figured that much out," said Cloud. "What world is this, anyway?"

"This is the Cardcaptor Sakura world. You must have been led here by accident. You may go now," said Yue, standing up.

"…sure," said Cloud. Suddenly all went black around him…

Cloud's waking world…

"…!" gasped Cloud, sitting up. He looked around. "Whoa, that was a really weird dream…" he glanced at the wall clock, and saw that it was about 5:30 AM. "Jeez, I got up too early," thought Cloud, laying back down and falling asleep. A really weird dream…
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Hahahahahhahaha… I can get soo bored to make a chapter like this… glad you're still here. Let's move on. Uh...later. And no, you won't see or hear from me in a while. This chapter was just luck, okay? I've been so busy, so I can't get online much... See you soon. I hope...