Title : Love After Love

Author : ElaineDex
Date : 07.05.07

Part 12 of 15
Characters : Ronon, Ellie, People of Atlantis and the SGC, Lyssa Hunter
Archiving : None
Spoilers : This part of the storey has bits in it that follow on from Kazavid's 'Reunions' explaining what happened to Lyssa
afterwards (my version of events).
Disclaimers : Only Ellie is mine, Stargate/Atlantis and all their characters do not. Lyssa Hunter is kindly on loan from Kazavid.

Summery : Will Ellie and Ronon's love stand the test of time and all that fate has to throw at them?

"You still don't knock I see", Lyssa said, tightening the towel around her body as Ronon continued to glare at her from the doorway.

When he didn't reply Lyssa said,

"Would you shut the doors, I don't want everyone passing by to see me like this".

Her words jolted Ronon back into the world of the living and he prised his eyes from her long enough to turn and wave his hand across the panel that would close the double doors.

"Why did you leave?", he asked as he looked back at her.

'He hadn't changed', Lyssa thought ruefully. He still got straight to the point, no messing around.

"Would you believe me if I told you it wasn't by choice?" she asked and Ronon folded his arms.

"No", he replied bluntly.

Lyssa sighed and sat on her bed.

"There is no point having this discussion then", she said, shocked when Ronon quickly covered the distance between them and gripped her by the shoulders, hauling her to her feet.

"There is every damn need. We were supposed to be in love. We were supposed to be staying together, but you left me", he all but shouted at her.

Lyssa blinked at him, her voice low as she said,

"Then you have to believe me when I say I did not leave you by choice".

They stared at one another for an endless moment until Ronon eventually said,

"What happened?".

Lyssa squirmed out of his grip. His hands were still able to send waves of heat through her even after all this time and she needed to stand away from him to think clearly.

"That last night, I had a real bad headache. I thought Dr Beckett might be able to give me something so I went to the infirmary, you were asleep".

She paused and watched as Ronon nodded, recalling that night in his mind.

She continued,

"When I got to the infirmary no-one was there. No-one except Michael".

"What?", Ronon said, baffled as to how that was possible.

"He was after the Retrovirus, he said something about how he knew McKay had the city offline and that's how he'd gotten in undetected. He took me with him as a precaution in case he got stopped on the way out", Lyssa finished, her heart banging in her chest as she waited for Ronon's response.

"And you've been with him ever since?", Ronon asked eventually, when he had his voice under control.

Lyssa nodded. "Two years", she said.

"Two years", Ronon repeated.

Suddenly he moved, pulling her into his arms and crushing her to him as she began to cry.

When her tears began to subside, another feeling began to replace the sorrow and she and Ronon began to move apart at the same time.

Lyssa cleared her throat, needing to inject some reality into the moment and she said,

"How was Ellie? Is she and the baby OK?".

Ronon's conscience was well and truly pricked and he pushed wicked thoughts away as he thought about Ellie. Feeling insanely guilty for even being in the same room as Lyssa he glanced at the doors.

"She was fine. I should get back to her though".

Lyssa nodded, watching as he moved to the exit.

"Are you going to be around?", he asked and Lyssa sighed.

"For a few days, maybe".

Ronon looked away. "I'll see you", he said, feeling odd, leaving her like this.

Just before he disappeared through the doorway he turned to look at her and his words sent a chill down her spine as he said,

"I 'will' kill Michael for this".

ooOoo

Ellie had sat for what seemed like a lifetime in the same position as Ronon had left her, staring into space, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Finally she decided she couldn't stay in the infirmary and she got out of the bed, pulling the monitors from her arm which immediately sent Beckett to her side.

"Lassy what are you doing? Get back into that bed", he said trying to re-attach the wires to her but she was having none of it.

"I can't stay here tonight. Let me go back to my room. I promise I'll come back if I don't feel good. I just...I just need to be alone", Ellie said, her eyes begging the Dr. to let her go.

Beckett looked at Ellie and nodded slowly. He didn't know what was going on between her and Ronon but he could see she was hurting.

"You promise me now...any twinges..anything, you contact me or you get here", he said kindly and Ellie nodded.

"I promise", she answered, then looking down at her infirmary scrubs said, "I'll get these back to you...I have nothing else to wear".

Beckett waved a hand. "Keep them if they're comfortable. I heard you were struggling for clothes at the moment".

"Thank you", Ellie said, touching his arm.

She left the infirmary and made her way back to her quarters. She was almost there when Ronon rounded the corner ahead.

Not knowing why Ellie turned quickly, hoping he wouldn't notice her as she tried to head back the way she'd come but he was upon her before she got far.

"What are you doing here? You should be in bed", Ronon said, his hand catching her arm gently.

"I wanted to be alone", she said stiffly, "Dr Beckett said I could go back to my room".

"I'll stay with you", Ronon said but Ellie shook her head.

She swallowed, her mouth dry as she replied, "No. I'd rather be alone. You said you didn't want to stay with me earlier anyway, remember?".

"About that...", Ronon began but Ellie cut him off.

"Ronon I'm tired right now. I don't have the energy to fight with you".

"What makes you think we'll fight?", he asked and she sighed and rubbed her aching back.

She shrugged and Ronon reached out and put a hand at the back of her neck.

"I'll walk you there at least?", he said and she nodded, falling into position at his side as they turned to walk back up the corridor.

The difference in their height was astonishing and Ronon suddenly felt very protective of his tiny...what? What was Ellie to him? He suddenly realised he didn't know any more and the thought scared him. And not may things frightened Ronon Dex.

They reached Ellie's room and she opened the door and leaned against the wall. Ronon's hand slid away from her neck and she felt bereft but kept quiet.

"We need to talk Ellie", Ronon said sounding serious and she looked up at him.

"I know".

"You'll let me know if you don't feel well?" Ronon asked and she nodded.

"I'll be back in the morning then", he said bending, his eyes level with hers.

'It was strange' Ronon thought. He wanted to kiss her but he didn't. How did that work?

"Did you find Lyssa?" Ellie asked suddenly and Ronon nodded almost reluctantly.

"Did you sort things out with her?", Ellie said, not sure if she wanted to know.

"I found out why she left", he said as though that explained everything and Ellie looked at him to elaborate.

"Michael took her almost exactly the same way he took you. He was after the retrovirus", Ronon replied and Ellie sighed, her heart sinking.

"So she didn't leave you because she didn't want you", she confirmed what she already knew was true and Ronon shook his head.

"No".

"I see", Ellie said.

They remained silent, Ronon's face still inches from hers until Ellie could stand it no longer.

I'll see you in the morning then", she said moving away and heading inside her room.

Ronon nodded, a strange feeling settling in the pit of his stomach.

ooOoo

The next morning Ellie awoke groggily to the sound of knocking on her doors.

She had hardly slept at all. She'd sat up going over and over in her mind how she thought her relationship with Ronon should go.

She was just getting to her feet when the doors slid open and Ronon burst inside.

"Are you alright? I was getting worried", he said rushing to her side.

"I'm fine...I was asleep", she replied rubbing her eyes.

"Sorry", Ronon said sheepishly and she half-smiled.

"It's OK. At least you care".

Ronon looked at her.

"Of course I care", he said sounding offended before he said in a rush,

"I've be thinking, you should marry me...you're having my child and..."

Ellie cut him off by reaching up and putting her fingers on his lips.

"Ronon. You don't want to marry me", she said.

"I don't?", Ronon said, confused, he thought she'd have been pleased.

"Well, you might, but I don't want you to marry me if it's just for the baby's sake", Ellie replied and Ronon took her hands.

"Ellie..." he said but she shook her head.

"We've had a rough couple of months. Last night you didn't even want to move back into here and now you're asking me to be your wife. We need to take time out Ronon. You've never even said you love me and now with Lyssa coming back into your life, you must be confused about how you feel?".

Ronon looked at her, his eyes dark.

"You've never said you love me either", he said and Ellie stared at him realising he was right.

"We both need to think about how we feel", she said and Ronon nodded.

Ellie felt tears well in her eyes. This felt so damn final.

"I need to know you want me for me. Not just for the baby's sake", she said and Ronon pulled her close.

"How did we get like this?", Ronon asked, his voice anguished and Ellie sniffed.

"I think a certain Wraith played a hand in a large part of it all", she said and Ronon agreed, his resolve to kill Michael strengthening.

"Just promise me one thing?" Ellie asked and Ronon pulled back slightly so he could see her face.

"Anything", he said and she smiled.

"If we don't...", she choked back a sob before continuing, "If we don't end up together before the baby is born...will you be there for me...when I'm in labour?"

Ronon crushed her back to his chest, his lips in her hair as he held her close.

"I'd have to be lying dead somewhere for me not to be there for you then and afterwards, for the rest of our child's life", he said and Ellie finally wrapped her arms around him as relief washed over her tired form.

They sat on the bed and Ronon held her until she fell asleep and then he laid her down and covered her over.

He stood looking down at her for a moment or two knowing now that he had to sort out his feelings once and for all. As he looked at Ellie he knew he loved her but was it the right kind of love and was it enough?

End of Part 12