Revelations 2: Lost and Found

by everfaithful

Sequel to Revelations: Johns death revealed two secrets, not just one. Sam is willing to sacrifice it all to give his brother a chance at life, a real life, But Dean isnt willing to let that happen.

14. Chapter 14

A/N: We've come to the end of this part of the Journey, but their story is far from over. This chapter is intense, and emotional from start to finish. I hope everyone enjoys the saga, and that you will join us for the next part of the story as well. Please read and review, this is our baby and we like to know that she is appreciated

SPNSPNSPN

Bobby sighed after he hung up the phone. This was the worst thing that could have happened. There was nothing to fight, nothing to do. But he had to pass the phone call on.

"Sam, it's Bobby." He said, his voice missing the usual amused undercurrent it had. "It's time to come home."

Sam sighed. "You know I can't do that." He said, wondering if he shouldn't chance cell phones now. He knew the end was coming. Could feel it. Even he could sense the changes. And if he couldn't, the demons he fought did. "It's too late for that."

"Sammy, you need to come home. You need to go to Texas and you need to go now. It's Chavi." The sister in law he had never met, but heard about from Bobby's update calls.

"What about her? If it's the baby, I don't think she will want a ... me there to curse its first breaths." He knew that his sister in law would have trouble dealing with what Sam was, even if Dean was insistent that there was nothing wrong with his brother. "Neither is she going to thank me for getting her husband killed by angry demons."

"She's not going to thank you at all." Bobby said and poured himself another shot, tossing it back before continuing. "She, ah, she went into labor yesterday. Gave birth to a girl, eight pounds three ounces. Jack tells me she has dark hair like her mother."

"Wait... Jack told you?" Sam asked with a frown, even deeper than that one he habitually wore now. "Where's Dean? Even if he got drunk as a skunk to celebrate he would be the one to call you. What's happened?" His tone was sharp, demanding, but there was an undercurrent of fear there. Something Sam hadn't felt in a long while. Something he didn't like feeling again.

"She...ah...started bleeding. They couldn't stop it and they lost her. Dean lost her." Bobby said. "And he's...he's really not doing too good. I'm on my way down there, and I want to see your face there, got it?"

"If I go.. .they will kill him." Sam said. "They will torture him to death, and nothing I can do will stop it. Do you want me to make that child an orphan?"

Bobby sighed. "Sam. Your brother needs you. Now. He's never asked anything from you. You need to do this."

"Have you not heard a word that I have said, Bobby?" He asked, almost condescendingly... almost. "You want me to completely destroy him? Show up there and have them murder his daughter in front of him... maybe take out Jack too for good measure, then rip the flesh from his body just to spite me? They will do it. He will do it himself and I can't take him on yet. I don't have that strength. I can't protect them if I go."

"Sam, listen to yourself." Bobby said. "If you don't go, you'll never forgive yourself. It will eat at you. It'll eat at him. You need to go and support your brother because he needs all the support he can get. Remember your father? Remember what grief did to him? Except for Dean, there's nothing to fight. Nothing to hunt."

"Fine. I'll go... But you be ready. So help me you be ready to fight what ever comes because it will come. Because it's on both of our heads what happens." Sam hung up and started to pack. He had long since given up traveling. He didn't need to drive now. It was something he did for pleasure and to avoid the strange looks when he brought home grocieries. He packed a couple changes of clothing, all black. Appropriate for going to a funeral, threw on his long coat and put the shades on over his eyes. They color changed so rapidly, he never took them off if anyone was with him. Too many questions.

He stepped into the shadows, and focused on his brother. He didn't need to have knowledge of where he was going now. Not if he had something else to focus on. He stepped out and looked around him.

Kaylie noticed the movement out of the corner of her eye in the kitchen, where she was dealing with the food everyone brought. Jack was dealing with the masses. Ben, he wasn't there. Too many memories for him, she supposed. Dean, he wasn't up to dealing with anyone. Hadn't spoken a word. But she turned quickly as the shadow moved and nearly dropped the cassarole dish.

"Sam?" She asked, putting the dish down before she broke it.

"Where is he?" He asked taking some of the edge out of his tone. The girl didn't deserve it. Hell she deserved a medal for staying with a Winchester this long. Even one raised by someone else.

She sighed and nodded. "The nursery. Go through that door, through the living room, take a left. Second door on the right. If you hit the bathroom, you've gone too far." She said. At least he'd come.

Sam followed the directions through his brother's home. Ignoring the stares, especially those from Jack. The boy didn't understand. Hell Dean couldn't even understand and he was grateful for that. Understanding came from far too much intimate knowledge. He didn't want either of his brothers to understand any of it. Jack stared after him and almost followed but was stopped by yet another well wisher looking for Dean.

A woman came out of the bathroom and stopped near the nursery door. "Last chance to call this a bad idea and go home, Exorcist."

Sam removed his glasses and stared at her with unnaturally purple eyes and smiled slowly. "I don't have time for you." Sam said. "You can exit that body you are in, and go some place else and have a merry old time, or I can make you wish you had never crawled out of hell to begin with. Either way you aren't going any closer to my brother than right there."

"You can't stop us until after we've done what we want." She said with an eerily sweet smile. "Poor, poor Dean. At least he has his daughter, right? We wouldn't want anything to happen to the baby, now would we? It would...why it would kill him. Especially if you did it."

Sam sighed in absolute boredom, and the shadows in the hall way darkened. He reached out and touched the arm of the woman, taking her into the shadows with him. "I'll be back to deal with you when I am done here. If I remember." He said stepping out of the shadows and back into the light. "I really hate stupid demons." He muttered as he opened the door to the nursury and entered. "Dean." He said quietly, seeing his brother seated in the rocking chair, staring ahead, looking at nothing, and reminding him so much of his father in that moment that it tore at what was left of his heart.

"She's sleeping." Dean said softly. "We had planned on naming her Mary, after, well..." His voice faded off as he took another drink from the bottle. "We name people after dead people. That's messed up. A celebration of death if you ask me."

"Nothing wrong with celebrating people after they are gone." Sam said as he approached his brother, looking over at the sleeping infant, amazed at how small and fragile new life really was. He looked around the room and sighed softly, going to lay the lines of brick and salt at the windows, and the nursery door. "I think Mom would like that. Well... what would I know about Mom."

"Already did it, Sam." Dean said. "The line at the door might be disturbed, but the windows, even the closet door is fine. I'm not an idiot." Which was why the demon Sam encountered in the hall was in the hall. And not laying a 'comforting' hand on Dean's shoulder. "At least I can do that right."

"Sorry. I just got rid of an unexpected guest out in the hall. Wanted to be sure." It was hard to see the lines with the glasses on, but he didn't want Dean to see his eyes. Not now. "There will be more coming because I am here. I shouldnt have endangered you two this way... but... Bobby said you were in a bad way."

"And what do you think? Wasted trip? Missing some Moonlighting reruns or something. Didn't mean to put you out, interrupt your life. You know, how dare she die and inconvenience you like that." Dean said with a snort and finished the bottle. "Dammit."

"Damn it, Dean... I don't want to get you killed. The fucking yellow eyed bastard said he would finish what he started if I so much as spoke to you again." Sam said, letting a little genuine emotion come through. "And considering there was one waiting outside the door there telling me it was my last chance to turn back and keep you safe I think I was right to be concerned."

"Yeah, well, they're welcome to try." A large part of him wanted a fight. Wanted something to fight. He looked at Sam then. He was still in the same clothes he had worn when Chavi went into labor. His face was streaked with grief and fatigue, he hadn't shaved. His eyes were red, and still filled with tears yet to be shed. He'd shed plenty already. "So then why are you here, Sam?" He asked. "You hate me that much?"

"Bobby told me your wife had died... and that you needed me. I guess he was wrong and I am just making this worse." He shook his head. He knew he shouldn't have come. "So ahm... before I go since I am so obviously not welcome... understandably so I guess... Just... wow... okay. Never mind. You know what it doesn't matter. I will just go and leave you to your wallowing, and your crawling into the bottle. Too bad too... kid could have used a father. Looks like she is just gonna get another John."

"I had a bachelor party. It was pretty kick ass. Except you weren't there. My wedding was probably the happiest day of my life, except you weren't there. Found out she was pregnant, I told everyone. Except you, because you weren't there. The good milestones. Now, when a part of me wants to die, you're here. Except not really." Dean said, leaning back in the chair and staring at the ceiling. "Except to tell me how I must be like Dad, crawling into a bottle and trying to block everything out because my wife died thirty six hours ago. And I'm supposed to take it well. Like you took Jess so well."

"Didn't say you had to take it well." Sam said. "Last time I saw that look it was on Dad's face while you were dying the second time. Hours later he is dead on the ground without so much as a good bye. Hey Sam stop yelling at me and go get some coffee while you're at it.Guess it beats the final words you got really. Shouldn't complain about it, I suppose." He shook his head. "It's the same look he had on his face every time he started toying with that damned wedding ring or their anniversary or hell any time he wasn't yelling at me or killing something come to think of it. So yeah, you remind me of Dad right now. " He walked away from the crib, not wanting to look at her, not wanting to draw the attention of anything to her any more than he already had. "And yeah I kinda figured you wouldn't want your wedding invaded by demon hoardes. But what the hell, I obviously don't care about you. Cleared your name, kept the demons off your ass long enough to find a real life. Stayed away to keep you safe. nah... no caring there." If he didn't care, he would have thrown the deal in his face. He was surprised that he hadn't lashed out with it. Surprised that there was enough humanity left in him to care. "So tell me Dean, what really bothers you about my being back? The fact that I was gone when you were happy, or the fact that you know I won't let you eat a bullet once they put her in the ground?"

"She's being cremated." Dean said softly. "Her parents are fighting me on that, the little they do talk to me. Or scream at me is the better word. Sorry I'm not in the mood to entertain you right now. Trying to hold onto what's left of my heart, I guess. Because eventually I have to out there, even if it's just to take a piss. You saw them all, right? They're all wondering, pestering Jack, wondering when I'm going to come out. All hovering around me, waiting for me to do something. They're all waiting for me to cry, scream, flip out, break something. All that pressure. And I'll be happy to say the lines, do whatever it is that will make everyone feel more comfortable. But I just want to go back, to when things were normal. When I wasn't poor Dean hiding in his daughter's nursery. Poor Dean with the dead wife. But I am, so I can't. But I don't know how to be this person." Said one of the world's greatest conmen when he wanted to be. "I don't know this person."

"I don't need you to entertain me. I don't need you to be anyone but who you are. Even if you don't know who that is anymore." Sam told him. "You know what... grab the baby. I'm getting you out of here for a while " He said as he went to pick up diaper bag, peeking in it to make sure there was stuff there. It was sunrise somewhere in the world. It was still early enough in the day. Dean needed a few moments of peace. And that was the only time Sam had been able to find it.

"But what about all my guests?" Dean said, with a little of his old sardonic humor returning to his voice, if only for a moment. But he got out of the rocking chair and picked the baby up, all swaddled up in a colorful blanket. "Oh they're really going to let me have it now. I'm walking out of my own shiva for lack of a better word. How rude."

"They don't need to know. Where we are going I can't get you to by car. " Sam told him. "If someone comes in and sees you're gone... tell them we took a walk to clear your head." He hoped Dean didn't freak on him. But it was a good sign that the man was up and gathering the baby. "That is if you don't mind a little shadow walking. Don't worry.. I'm not all gone yet. Spent a little time with a priest learning how to renew things along the way. "

"A priest?" Dean said. "Wow. Well, I guess that's one way. So...how do we do this? Last time, wasn't the best experience of my life." Of course that had been with Maggie. But this was Sam.

Sam thought about it. "Well it won't be as traumatic as the last time you went this way, but it's not the most gentle way of travel. It won't hurt the baby though. Are you still going to name her after Mom?" He asked as he picked up the infant carrier before coming over to rest his arm across his brother and the baby. The shadows in the room lengthened until they consumed them all. Sam thought of sunrise. Somewhere in the world it was always sunrise. It was the nature of a revolving ball after all.

They emerged from the shadows on the eastern coast of Australian. The sun barely cresting the deep blue of the horizon. Australia, he realized. A quiet beach, no tourists, no one walking the shore. It was just the three of them and the rising sun.

"Well, at least you used that lump on your shoulders and didn't bring me to a bar." Dean said with a chuckle as he adjusted his hold on the waking baby. "Yeah, her name is Mary. Besides being Mom's name, it's nowhere in her family." After her family had rejected her, she wanted no reminders at all. Seeing as they weren't all that polite to Dean, he was fine with it. "You would have liked her, Chavi. Put me in my place just about every chance she could get." He looked down at the baby. "I miss her."

"Sunrise is where I go when I need to breathe... find the ground again." Sam told him. "I can't see you with a woman who couldn't put you in your place. You like the fight too much." Sam said as he led the way over to the drift wood, and sat the carrier and bag down on the sand. "I am sure I would have liked her. The baby is beautiful. Which is amazing considering newborns aren't really except to their parents."

"Dude, you couldn't see me with a woman any longer than two days straight." Dean said with a chuckle as he sat down on the driftwood. "Neither could I, so guess we were both wrong. And of course she's beautiful, you idiot. I don't have time for ugly kids." He looked out at the rising sun. "Sam, I don't know if I can do this."

"You can. You're strong. Doesn't mean you have to feel strong, or steady. Just means you have to get up every day and get through that day. Just that day. Every time that sun comes up.. you have made it. " It was how he had gotten through the years alone. Just one day at a time.

"And wait to see how I'm going to fail her that day. I couldn't save Dad. I couldn't save you. Couldn't save my own wife. How the hell am I going to protect her? When I know what's out there?" Dean asked. "I haven't been able to do anything right in my whole life except for her. And she's brand new. Lots of time to screw her up."

"Dude, are you listening to yourself?" Sam asked with a gentleness that he hadn't heard in his own voice in more than a year now. "Dad... Dad gave up his own life. There was no saving him. Dad wanted to die. He wanted to die the day mom died... he chose the moment, and the cause. There was nothing anyone could do to stop it. Me... I was doomed from conception. It wasn't right for Dad to put that on you in the first place, and if the doctors couldn't save Chavi... how the hell do you think you could?" He rested his hand on his brother's shoulder. "And you are going to protect her, the same way you protected me when I was little. And I don't want to hear about the damned shtriga. You were a child. Dad shouldn't have put that on you. You aren't a child now. You won't fail her, Dean, you have never once failed me."

"Yeah, I know what I said. And I hear you, I do." Dean said. "I'm still going to bury my wife's ashes. My in laws say I killed her, I cursed her but good. Karma I guess, in some screwed up Romany way. You believe in karma still, Sam?"

"No." Sam said. "I believe that sometimes life just happens. Most of the time, life just happens. It's not anyone's fault. It's not divine retribution or demonic intervention." He said. "I think that there is no such thing as control in this life. It's like driving... control is all an illusion. All the skill in the world, all the training the best intentions, can't help you when the other guy is drunk or prevent equipment failure." He knew it was a cracked out analogy but it worked in his head. "You didn't curse her. We both know how curses really work. I don't believe she was cursed because of you either. Women die in child birth, it's natural. Tragic... but natural. " Equipment failure. Pure and simple.

"Still sucks. Still hurts." Dean said. "And she still died giving birth to my child. I know, you're about to smack me upside the head for my little self pitying trip, but I like taking the scenic route through it."

"It's not self pity, it's grief. Of course it hurts, and I would probably smack you if you didn't think this sucked. But you have Mary now. You aren't alone. She is definitely going to need her daddy... it's going to be easier for her than it was for you, Dean. trust me. Sometimes there were things that blew me out of the water about Mom... alot of questions, alot of wishing that she were around,... but she won't have that empty place inside that you had where mom used to be. I know. "

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Dean said with a chuckle. "You know, the sunrise really is beautiful." He looked at Sam. "Do you want to hold her? You're sitting, so it's hard to drop her."

"Are you sure you want me to?" He asked, uncertainly. "I'm different now." He said slowly removing the glasses, and revealing his eyes. "I understand if you... would rather I didn't." He was actually afraid of his brother's reaction.

"Dude, you're still Sammy. Which is a weird anagram for pain in my fucking ass." Dean said. "You're not all gone. You're still convinced you will be, so this might be your one chance. Take it or leave it."

He reached out to take his niece from his brother's arms. "I think it will be...my last time... it's harder to be me all the time." He said as he pushed the blanket back to get a clear look at her. "My god, she is too tiny." Which was only in comparison to his massive hands, since she was a healthy sized little girl. "Wow... another generation of Winchesters. Even if she won't keep the name. "

"Dude, forget what I said before. You really are evil." Dean said, shaking his head. "First you're suggesting she's going to get married. Which of course means you're assuming there's going to be some man that's allowed to touch her. Without me shooting him somewhere painful. Not going to happen. I'm way too good a shot. She's got healthy lungs though. Screams like a girl, just like you."

Sam laughed then. "Okay.. I'm sorry she is going to wait for you to die before pining away over your ashes." He rolled his eyes. "Boys happen. And with your luck he will be a pacifist and a shrink who only believes in the world of reason. "

"Yeah, like that will happen. She'll have standards over who she's allowed to hang out with. And that's on the not list." Dean said, watching his brother with his daughter. "You're not all right, are you?" Maybe he could focus on Sam. Maybe the pain could be shoved to the side if something else was center stage.

"No." Sam said honestly, partly because he knew what Dean was doing and he needed a new focus for even just a few minutes. "Honestly, I think part of the reason I came was to see you one more time as myself. I'm sliding fast."

"Sam, you need to hold on. I haven't given up. Don't you give up on me." Dean said emphatically. He'd been researching, crawling under every rock and stone he could find for some answer. Because it was out there and he would find it. Because he had promised. Because it was Sammy, and if anyone deserved a slice of happiness all his own, it was Sam.

"Oh I'm not giving up." Sam said honestly. "Clawing and fighting every inch of the way. I've exorcised and assisted in the exorcisms of over a hundred demons. Learned the long way about it too. I've been very impolite according to ole yellow eyes. Meg said it was akin to cannibalism." He laughed then. "Haven't seen her back since that day in the warehouse... I think she avoids us both like the plague now. Sorry I blew the whole leaving you alone thing. Now that I have shown up they will start harrassing you again. "

"You forget, I have a demon in my corner." Dean said with a bit of a grin as he looked out at the sea. "He's seriously against interruptions to his life that won't result in his death, and since they can't kill him, it'll just piss him off. But I know how he feels now. How Dad felt."

"Try and find more joy in her than Dad found in me." Sam said as he caressed the child's cheek. Not that he blamed his father. He was the reason his mother was dead. He was the reason for every nightmare they had or had been put through since his conception. "I'm serious though, Dean. Next time I show up I might not be sane any longer. I understand that insanity comes as the last of the soul is leeching away. The step after that is... incorporeal."

"Then the next time I see you, you better be ready for a knock down drag out fight." Dean said. "Because if you think I'm letting you become non corporeal, you've got another thing coming. So much for Stanford educated. And she's the reason I'm still here. God, Sam, you told me to go off and be happy, try to be normal. I tried, I really did."

"The next time you see me... I will be like Maggie." He pointed out, knowing that his brother still carried the fears that woman had put into him. "And you are normal, Dean. Normal people lose their wives in child birth every day. Normal men become single fathers every day. It's a sad fact of life." It was some sad quirk of fate that his brother be fated to go through life as a single father. "But if there was ever a man who could do it, it's you. Yeah I'm losing my soul in dribbles and drips, and I dropped out of college and shot the last girl I ever got close to, but other than that you didn't do so bad a job raising me." He said with a laugh. "And you were just a kid. Think what you can do as a man. "

"So, is this a veiled warning to NOT teach her to shoot? Because, dude, you shot at me three times. Hit me twice." Would have been three times if the gun had been loaded the second time. Actually, if the gun had been loaded, there wouldn't have been a third time. "The running away from home...damn...Sam, you're holding an Rhodes scholar, you know that, right?"

Sam laughed. "You know, most of that could be avoided if you just keep her out of the family business." He pointed out. "It's hell on the education and relationships. And of course she is going to be brilliant... she's a Winchester. " He said. "Thankfully her mother was beautiful... or so I heard... so that she has half a chance. Cause, man, you would make one hell of an ugly girl."

"Well, we all can't be cute fluffy man girls, now can we?" Dean said and got his wallet out and handed Sam a picture taken on his wedding day. "That's her." He said. "And I don't hunt like we used to. Unless it's big, I stay local. Have another job anyway, because I'm you know, filing taxes and shit." He said, looking disgusted at just saying it. "Damn, the good old days when everyone in America wanted me. Now I pass for an upstanding citizen. Still not ever driving a mini van though."

"You're welcome." Sam said with a smile. He had been watching Court TV, with all the hype leading up to the trial that never happened. He loved the shows where they ragged on the FBI. They were two courts, those that believed that they had lost the evidence, and those that believed they had persecuted and prosecuted and innocent man. Dean's good looks had gone a long way in winning over that crowd. He just didnt look like a hardened criminal. Especially not with his loving family supporting him.

"Yeah, Bobby told me you had something to do with that. They had me dead to rights after all." Dean said with a chuckle. "I'm still getting fan mail from that. And I thought we were weird. At least we never sent fan mail to someone who may or may not be a murderer and necrophiliac. Though if I remember right, that dead chick did seem to like you."

"Dead chick, demon, werewolf... no more women for me, even if I were to find some miracle cure for soullessness." He said with a laugh. "Although to be fair I had a little help from Diana in Baltimore. Had to get her cooperation since she was the arresting officer and all.. or at least the surviving arresting officer. Convenient lack of memory."

"She was all right." Dean said with a nod. "Then again, I married a runaway gypsy, so I'll give you that our taste in women is generally unorthodox. And the women that dig us, well, it's a given they have something wrong with them. Family, possession, bite scars, non beating hearts. It's always something."

"Bite scars I could deal with, it was the silver allergy that was the kicker." Or more to the point her begging him to kill her. "But hey, you found happiness, you found normal. Bet Dad is proud of you... "

"Yeah, except her family wants to lay a gypsy curse on me now." Dean said, shaking his head. "The wake is going to be fun. I can see it now. Already had my tires slashed because she's being cremated." Because Romany tradition demanded burial. But Dean...Dean knew too much. And he wanted her to be as restful as he could make her. "I was still at the hospital too," since Mary hadn't been discharged yet, "that really really didn't improve my mood. Thank god Jack was there and reminded me that I really needed to bring the baby home, because I would have gone off the deep end. Shown them what a curse really is. And just how much of an asshole I can be."

"Nah... leave that to me. I'll just pop the glasses off and make them all faint." He said with a laugh. No, there were other ways to make people back off. The Rom would be leaving Dean alone if they knew what was good for them. "Besides, Mom's family wasn't so keen on Dad either. So it's just a family tradition. Should have known there was going to be trouble when Jess's parents liked me. "

"You know, the eyes? Really not that scary. Freaky, sure. But they're actually a rather girly shade of purple. Mary has a blanket that color, knitted by a stripper at Ben's club." Dean said. "So is that part of the turning demonic thing? Becoming a girl? Hair's getting pretty long too."

Sam choked at that. "Yeah, well, it's easier to keep out of my eyes when I can tie it back." He said grinning. "So your wife let you hang out with strippers? You really were in heaven, weren't you?" He shook his head. "I promise, all the things that make me a man... still there. Not turning into a girl."

"You know an easier way to keep it out of your eyes? Cut it off." Dean said. "They were customers. Didn't need to go to a strip club, actually had no inclination. As much as that is totally out of character for me to say."

"Not happening." He said about the hair. "And if nothing else today proved that you were in love, that did right there." Sam smiled. "I'm sorry I didn't get to meet her. But I'm glad you did, and you wouldn't have if I had stuck around... even without the demon crap going on. Which believe it or not...eases some things for me."

"What the hell does that mean? I've got this big empty hole inside me and that's a fucking good thing?" Dean said, flaring temper a bit there. "This is what you wanted?"

"You think I wanted this?" Sam asked as he eased the baby into the carrier. If they were going to argue, it wasn't going to happen while he was holding her. Kids picked up on emotions too easily at this age. "You think I wanted to have no family, no home? I wanted to be a lawyer, to marry Jess and have perfect little blonde haired blue eyed children who looked just like their mother." He said his own anger rising. "I don't have any of that. I don't get another chance at normal either. I get to go insane and become a monster. I'm sorry if my finding a little comfort in the fact that you found happiness for a while offends you. I'm sorry that the love of your life is gone. I really am, but damn it Dean... yeah... it's a good thing. You didn't die in a shoot out with the feds, or eaten alive by some monster. You have a home and a business and a beautiful daughter. Tell me where the alternative was better? If I could bring her back for you, I would. But I haven't crossed that line yet."

"You son of a bitch." Dean said, getting to his feet. "You think I wanted this for you? You think I wake up every morning grateful that my brother somehow sacrificed himself for me? You think I sleep easy because of this? Every morning I wake up and know I'm waking up because the people I love most in the world made ultimate sacrifices I never asked them to make. I never wanted them to make. Dad's dead! Because he decided my life was worth more than his. No discussion, decision made. You're like you are because you decided my life was worth more than yours. Again, no discussion, decision made. How do you guys expect me to live with the burden of that? And it's heavy. You have no idea how heavy it is. That because I'm alive, it's cost me just about everything."

"I am like I am because this is what I was born to be, Dean." Sam pointed out heatedly. "And none of this would have happened if I had never been born. Mom would be alive, Dad would never have gone off the deep end, you wouldn't have had to sacrifice your childhood to raise me, hell, half the people we knew all our lives would still be fucking alive if it weren't for me. All the times you have been tortured were all because I am drawing breath. So don't tell me how heavy this burden is Dean, because it doesn't belong to you. It's all mine. And if you get to have a little happiness in your life because I let it in a little early, so be it. It's a good thing. I got to give back just a little of what was taken from you because of me. It wasn't enough. Nothing I could do would ever be enough to make up for it all but at least it was something."

Dean shook his head, fuming. Sam already blamed himself for everything, now he was pulling this? So Dean did what he always did when he felt things spinning out of control. He punched the person standing closest to him, which this time would be his brother.

"Dammit Sam not everything is your fault. Not everything is because of you! God fucking dammit don't..argh...I don't know." He said loudly. "I just want to punch someone. I want to punch them and beat them until they feel as bad as I do."

Sam got up and walked toward his brother. "Go ahead. You can't hurt me, Dean. Not now, go ahead. Pound me until the anger is back in its box." He pushed Dean in hopes of pulling the violence back to the surface so he could let the anger out. Dean needed to fight. It was Dean's way. Always had been. He was like John that way. Pain translated to anger.

Dean shoved him back. "Yeah and when it's back in the box, what the hell is left?" He demanded. "I'm afraid that there is nothing left. Like with Dad. WIthout his anger, there was nothing left of that man." Oh he knew deep down that their father loved them. But it was John's rage and anger that had driven him, kept him alive after his Mary died.

"You're not John." Sam yelled at him. He rarely called John Winchester 'Dad' anymore. He had been a vessel, genetic material. What's more, he knew that John knew that too. That was why there was no good bye, no real closeness. John had known he was raising someone else's son. They had loved each other but it wasn't the same. "He loved us enough to die for us but that wasn't enough and we both know it. You're gonna have to love that baby enough to live for her."

"I know I'm not him!" Dean said. "Dammit, I was more of an adult than he was by the time I was eight." Right now, with his mind blown by so many other things, would probably be the only time in his life he'd admit it. He did worship his father, and held the memory of him very close. But he was just too raw now to pull any punches or even sweeten a truth into something more flattering.

"There is more to you than anger, Dean. You are just in pain right now, that's all. I know. " He said frowning a little as he sensed something different on the beach and moved back to his neice quickly and tossed a bag from his coat pocket to Dean. "We've got company." He said as he slid his rosary around the girl's neck and made a small cross on her forehead with his thumb. "You want to wait it out here in a brick dust circle or in the shadows?"

"Screw both the options." Dean said, opening the bag and spreading the dust in a circle around the carrier. "Sweetheart, Daddy's got some work to do. Be right back." He said and kissed her forehead, adjusted the blanket around her and went over to Sam. "Don't pull any of that protective crap with me. You're the little brother, remember?"

"Kiss my ass." Sam said. "I'll do as I damned well please." He said, striding out to meet the approaching demons with an arrogance in his step that had never been there before."Go away," He told them simply, "Not in the mood, and this so isn't the time for finding out who's on top." Sam looked between them.

"You screwed the pooch, Samuel. Even our father has his limits of forgiveness and understanding, even for you."

"Ooh so you're admitting I'm his favorite now?"

"Can you keep it down? Some people are trying to sleep." Dean said.

"And she'll die." One of the demons said. Dean's face contorted for a moment then he took a vial out of his pocket. Sure, he wasn't religious, but he had enough faith in objects of religious value to make them work for him. And that went for holy water too, which he poured over the back of his hand before balling it into a fist and punching the demon in front of him as hard as he could. Which wasn't exactly a little love tap.

"Sam, gotta say, that other side of that family that you don't really belong to...incredibly stupid." Dean said.

Sam laughed then. "I have missed this." He said as he broke out into an old fashioned brawl with the possessed. He kept an eye on his brother, careful that he not get so into the fight that he lost track of his safety, or that of his daughter. Sam was to the point that it was near impossible to harm him, but Dean on the other hand, was very much vulnerable to attack.

"Name yourself." He said to the one before him. There were so many, Sam had a hard time keeping track of the fallen's lap dogs.

"Because we're that stupid, Exorcist." One sneered at him, fighting back.

Dean was keeping a weather eye on the carrier, moving the fight a bit more away from it, but close enough that if he had to get to her, he could quickly. All the rage he had inside, and it was quite considerable, he poured into the fight. He didn't feel the hits he recieved, he was beyond that point right now.

"Just like old times, Sammy." Dean said with a bit of grin.

"Almost." Sam said and simply started to pray aloud. There was no time or privacy for an exorcism, but he could hit them on those levels even as he fought them the old fashioned way. His latin was accented now, and the timbre of his voice was different. It wasn't just words in latin. Wasn't a ritual to be recited by rote. There was belief behind his words now, and there was power.

The demons before them screamed, and Dean kept on hitting. "You threaten my daughter, you threaten my brother, and you seriously pissed me off." Dean said. This was actually cathartic. Though he was sure he'd regret this in the morning, he was feeling better.

Sam carefully hid the pain in his voice, even as he uttered the holy words that tore at him much as they did his demonic bretheren. His eyes glowed with it and the anger he carried with him. The anger and bitterness that seemed to overwhelm him at times. Part of him didn't care any more about the fight. About making his final stand. Part of him was willing to let it all go and just accept his fate. Let the last vestiges of his soul sink or rise as it was destined. But not here, not now with his neice mere feet away and helpless. Not with his brother so torn apart inside as it was. So he doubled his efforts, letting his demonic attributes show, fighting the creature in front of him with all the powers he had even if it meant disregarding the hosts' safety. It wasn't his concern right then.

Dean kept hitting, kicking, fighting, everything he could do to just dispell the rage inside. He couldn't pin Chavi's death on a demon, but he could sure make a demon pay for it any way. Because he couldn't go on this way, Sam was right. Mary deserved better, and he was the only one left to give it to her. So he had to work through it.

Unfortuntately he was a Winchester to the core. So 'working through it' meant pain. Pain and physicality.

Whether they were called by their master, or tired of the pounding they were getting from the Winchesters, the demons gave up their hosts, spewing out of them in an old familiar cloud of inky blackness. It wasn't until they had dissipated into the Australian air that he sank down on the ground beside the now unconscious and severely beaten people, and took several deep breaths to clear the pain in his body and soul.

Dean sat down on the ground himself. He was a little winded. Then he just laid back on the sand and stared at the sky. "Sam, when Jess died...was it like you were moving in slow motion?" He asked. The hosts would stay unconscious for a bit. And they'd be hurting when they woke up. Dean would even feel bad about it later, but right now, his concerns were on himself, his daughter and his brother. A small circle of space, but it suited him for now.

"Yeah... it was. None of it felt real. It was like I expected to wake up from a nightmare and find her still there, baking me chocolate chip cookies and fussing because I hadn't slept well. " He smiled a little sadly. "Unfortunately, I woke up from the nightmares and saw your ugly mug instead " It was teasing, but there had been times when he had been actually disappointed. "I kept expecting it to be her when my phone would ring, or to have her walk into the room... "

"It's like I'm moving in slow motion. And everything around me is moving so fast. I can't reach out and touch anything. Because as soon as I do, it's moved on. It's like I'm stuck." Dean said. "I don't...I don't know where to go from here. There's no map for this, no set of instructions."

"You just... can't give up trying to touch. Trying to move. Eventually you catch up with the rest of the world." He told him. "You'll always miss her. I won't tell you that it goes away. Not even if you are willing to heal." Their father had never been. "But it gets easier, and the pain fades to something else. I still miss Jess but it doesn't eat me alive anymore. And that isn't because of the condition of my soul. I had reached that point before you told me about my parentage."

"I can't even go into my own bedroom. The sheets still smell like her. How pathetic is that? I don't know what to do with all her stuff. Dad lost Mom, and he turned into a borderline sociopath. Ben lost his wife, and most of the time he's unbearable. I don't want to be like them. But...what if it's unavoidable? You're so convinced because the other children like you are turning evil you have to go all darkside. So do all...widowers..." he still tripped over the word, unfamiliar and unwanted, "turn into jackasses? Does that mean I naturally had a head start?"

"You were a jackass before you met her." He said with a smile. "I can help with her things. I don't have anywhere I need to be for a few days. I will help you get settled as much as anyone can. So long as you promise to put Jack on a leash." He teased as he gave Dean his hand. "I thought he was going to come after me when I showed up. "

Dean took Sam's hand and got to his feet, brushing off the sand and going back over to the carrier. "Yeah, well, Jack is..." Dean chuckled. "Jack. He's still got an only child mentality." And he was protective of Dean. Had been since the hospital in Chicago. "You both have this idea that I can't take care of myself."

"Probably has to do with the fact that you don't. Not that you can't... you just don't. You could be bleeding to death and tell us you're fine and just need a beer." Sam pointed out. "Gotta stop that shit now that you have a little life depending on you." He said peeking in at the infant, as he removed the rosary. "You know, you should really get her baptized."

Dean laughed. "Yeah. Okay. Big problem though. I'm not Catholic. Or any organized religion. Her mother was a disowned, cast out, runaway Roma. Don't think they really offer baptisms for kids of two parents like that. Not to mention when her uncle is a Nephilim, the other uncle is a kid of a Nephillim, illegitimate at that. Who was raised by a demon who owns a completely immoral and sinful strip club..."

"Do you have any idea what an unbaptized child goes for on the demonic black market?" He asked. "Never mind of course you don't... it's alot... add into it that child is a Winchester ... find a way. You don't have to go Catholic. Can't actually. Not without converting yourself and well... I could take her in and have it done but that would be a lie and it wouldn't hold the same power. I don't know... ask around and see if there is a replacement for Pastor Jim out there somewhere. It's important."

"Dude...you converted?" Dean asked, surprised. "The one family member finds religion, and it's the one with the weird freaky girly purple eyes. Go figure. So Winchesters are still real popular with the demon crowd, huh? Fine, I'll call Bobby and Ellen, see if they know of anyone that could baptize her since it's so important to you. Though I should deck you again for implying I can't protect her."

"Dude, that's like saying a doctor's kid shouldn't get immunized." He said shaking his head. "And stop taking offense at what I say. I converted while I was studying with Father Pavel. It just made sense... and it has helped keep me still me even with all that's going on. So... " he said changing the subject, "what do you think of Australia?"

"That's where we are?" Dean said with a chuckle. "It's...nice. Sandy. I still ain't flying back. I was going to suggest that you converted to try and one up me with the nuns, and I'm not taking offense to everything you say. I'm just touchy right now."

"No nuns. Sorry. Not a lot of time for girls and I don't want to risk making one of my own right now. " He said indicating the baby. "Wow... I am still floored that you are a father, dude. Not in a bad way but... this is pretty amazing. "

"Yeah, well, it's hitting reality now. Let me tell you." Dean said with a chuckle. "Kinda thought I was done with kids when you finally grew up. It's the scariest thing I've ever faced in my entire life." And considering all that Dean had faced in his life, that said something! "Come on, we should head back, you forgot to pack formula. It's in the fridge."

"Yeah, time to deal with the family anyway. They'll be impressed, you're moving." He said as he picked up the carrier and placed a hand on his brother, taking them all back to the nursery where a very angy, and concerned Jack stood waiting.

"Uh, hi." Dean said. So much for sneaking back in. "So...everyone still here?" He didn't really need to ask. He could hear them milling about in his house. Occasional laughter at something broke through the quiet murmurs. If either brother thought he was in the mood for some little brother show down, he'd be forced to punch them both out as he took the carrier from Sam to settle the baby back in her crib.

"Yeah. Mostly. " Jack said tensely. "Came in to see if you needed anything and you were gone... without any real way of getting out of here... and of course Sam here had just appeared in the shadows in the kitchen... scared Kaylie by the way. Thanks." Jack said locking gazes with Sam. "I see you've taken up Mom's travel habits. Picking up any other of her habits?"

"No... I've been leaving other people's children alone. Haven't picked up torture ...well... not of humans anyway." Sam responded coldly.

"Knock it off, both of you." Dean said, feeling like he'd just time warped back in time. "I'm not refereeing you two, got it?" The time being when he'd have to break up yet another argument between Sam and Dad. It really didn't help that Jack had John's voice. "I'm sure Sam didn't mean to scare Kaylie and he'll apologize, right Sam? And I probably should have told you I was taking off before you freaked. Maybe even left through the back door or something."

"Yeah, wasn't exactly thinking about it when I got here. My mind was on Dean." Sam said.

"Well there's a first." Jack said and sighed. "Well, food's on... all 2 tons of it. Might want to come out and talk to people before they put you on suicide watch." He didn't like this. Didn't like it at all. Sam was slipping fast, and it was obvious. "I'm gonna see if Ben will come over. He's always good at scaring off the in laws." Or perhaps carrying away demonic little brothers.

"You know what?" Dean said in a deceptively calm and gentle voice. Basically because he was tucking in his daughter. "I'm going to take a shower. Think someone could go bring me in some clean clothes?" He could still smell the hospital on himself. Not to mention sand. "If you two are going to fight, don't do it in this room. Got it? I think I got her back to sleep." He wasn't up to dealing with some fight between the two of them.

"Yeah I'll bring you something in. Which room is yours?" He asked. "The one next door?" At Dean's nod, he left the room figuring he could change the sheets, clear things out a little for him, so that it would be a little easier for him to sleep in there. He set the change of clothes aside and moved to strip the bed, not turning to look at Jack as he stood at the door. "Where does he keep the sheets?" He asked tossing the old ones into the hamper.

"What are you doing here?" Jack asked. "I don't know how far gone you are, but there isn't much of you left, is there?"

"No, so I really wouldn't recommend pissing me off right now. I've met you three times now that I remember and two of those hasn't been exactly a bonding experience. You aren't one of the three ...well four... people living that I would exercise self control over at this point. "

"Are you threatening me?"

"Nope... just a warning. Would hate to upset Dean by knocking the shit out of you for annoying me. So let's just call a truce. I'm here for a few days. You don't like it... too bad. Dean wants me here, and since I don't have too much more time as me left, I'm going to be here while I can."

"And if you cross over before you leave?"

"Then I guess Ben can take care of the situation. " He said, bitting back the urge to add, like he did with your mother. It would be cruel and that would upset Dean. So he didn't. But the little bastard was getting on his nerves. "So go get the sheets. He said the others smelled too much like her. We need to get the room cleared out a little so he can sleep, and I will drop these off for him." He said and headed out of the bedroom and into the bathroom without so much as knocking. "Clothes are on the counter. Why do I have the insane urge to yell at you not to use all the hot water?" He asked.

"Because we just kicked obnoxious demon ass?" Dean called out over the running water. "Besides, I can use all the hot water I want. I paid for it. Can even say that legitimately too." Which was still a surprise to even Dean. "Just a warning, though, Sam. First one that throws a punch gets stuck with the next dirty diaper. I mean it too."

"I'm not gonna hit him first." Sam said. "And it has nothing to do with diapers. Can't promise we will get along but I won't take it to a physical level." He didn't want to hurt Jack. Didn't particularly care about him any more. But had no desire to hurt him. He figured that was pretty much proof that he wasn't himself any more but he would keep up the act for Dean's sake.

Dean sighed as he turned the water off and reached out for a towel, wrapping it around himself before going over to the sink to brush his teeth. Wrapped in a towel, it was obvious he hadn't completely given up his old job. New scars here and there, on top of the ones from Meg that Sam had never seen as scar tissue. "You know, I feel like I'm eighteen again, and you and Dad are going at it over something completely stupid." He said, shaking his head as he rinsed out his mouth.

"I'm sorry." He said sincerely. "Dad and I really put you through the wringer. Looks like you've been busy." He said indicating a couple of scars. "Anything new and interesting? Or more of the same old? You do know that you need to leave shape shifters completely alone right? They are a huge jinx with you."

"Yeah, I learned that. No shape shifters for Dean. I just gather the info and pass it on if I come across them." Dean said with a laugh. "Um...let's see. Poltergeist, demon, elemental spirit, and a restless spirit." He said, pointing out the scars. "Funny, me getting into what other people consider trouble is me staying out of trouble." He said as he pulled on his clothes, shaved a bit and sighed. "Okay, guess I should go accept the condolences now. Don't know what the hell they're sorry for. I hate that phrase, I'm sorry. Doesn't mean anything."

"Means I wish you didn't hurt but I don't know what to say." Sam said with a shrug. "Just stay clear of the God's will people, God had nothing to do with it. She's probably in heaven but it's not God's fault any more than it's yours. But anyway, I am gonna head back to your room. Changing out the sheets and had Jack get started on clearing a few thing so that it's... not so harsh a reminder tonight when you crash. So... where do you want me to stash my bag and all that... guest room available or am I couching it?"

"Yeah, there's a room across from Mary's. Pull out couch. The closet is full of weapons, we were baby proofing after all." Dean said with a smile. "And Sam...thanks." He knew Sam didn't have to come. But he did.

"You're welcome." Sam said glad that he was able to come, even it was going to be the last time he could see his brother, at least he could be there while he was hurting the worst. He headed back toward the door. "I'm gonna go finish up in the bedroom while you get dressed. If you want, I will go out to face the crowd with you."

"Think I'm going to head straight into the kitchen. I don't know, you and Jack can bail me out if I look like I'm about to punch someone." Dean said as Sam left. He got dressed and took a deep breath. Then walked out of the kitchen. His living room was still filled.

Had he been coherent and able to focus when he left the hospital, he never would have allowed this. But here they all were. He shook his head a bit and escaped into the kitchen. He couldn't remember the last time he ate, and he still wasn't hungry, but he had a fear of passing out while feeding his daughter. So he took a plate, filled it with something out on the counter, and went to sit at the table with a beer. He looked out the window and could see his wife's family on the lawn, just staring at the house. They wouldn't come in. His house was 'impure.' So they were just going to stare.

It took a little, but Jack and Sam came to an understanding. And that understanding was that Dean needed them both right then and they could deal with their personal issues later. It didn't take long to finish the room, or for Sam to lay fresh salt and brick, or mark signs on the window panes with holy water. They each peeked in on Mary to be sure she was alright and headed into the dining room, taking seats on either side of their brother.

Sam looked at the window. "Those are the in laws I take it." He said shaking his head. People were such idiots.

"They are." Dean said with a nod. "Guess I can't blame them for hating me. I mean, I did threaten to shoot her father. Loaded and cocked the shot gun and everything. And that was BEFORE we got married." He nodded and shook the hands of people who felt the need to interrupt his eating to express how sorry they were, and what a shame and tragedy it all was. Dean kept his mouth full so he wouldn't say something stupid, even if he meant it. Seemed safer that way. It all tasted like saw dust and cardboard, but it would keep him going. And he wouldn't have to make food for a bit. "Some people just don't appreciate the Winchester charm." But his foot was tapping underneath the table. The people were seriously wigging him out. He was nearly about to go out there and say something to them.

"Time to see if I can remember the fluffy puppy routine." Sam said quietly as he stood up and forced his eyes back to their original brown. That wasn't easy to do any more. He then made his way to the horde in the living room. "Hi, I'm Dean's other brother, Sam. I hate to do this, but Dean just really needs some time to himself and all. I'm grateful that you were all able to be here to keep an eye on him earlier, until I could get here. It means a lot to all three of us, but I really have to ask everyone to go home for now." He said with the appropriately sorrowful, apologetic and sincere tones. When all he wanted to say was, are you morons done making it worse? Get the hell out.

Slowly people began to mill their way out of the house and into their cars, now turning thier sympathy to Sam, to relay to Dean. He simply nodded and thanked everyone walking with them outside, partly to get them moving, partly because once the nice people were gone it was time to move the others on their way too.

"Wow... he has them eating out of his hand. I think that's scarier than the eyes were." Jack said watching through the window. "He was always like that?"

"Fluffy puppy." Dean said with a bit of a chuckle. "Demonic or not, I bet half those people want to take him home and give him a cookie." He was grateful they were gone, even if it made the house too quiet now. He supposed he couldn't have it both ways. Kaylie came over with a refill for Dean's plate and took the emptied one away, plopping a soda in front of him as well as she sat next to Jack. "Sam's real sorry he scared you before." Dean said around his food.

"Yeah he was a bit ... focused." Jack said, knowing Sam was right, that they had to get along for Dean's sake. But he hoped that after this visit was done, he hoped they never saw him again, he was a hair's breadth away from the shadows. He didn't want that vision to come to be, because it wouldn't just be Dean that he took down when he came back. It would be all of them, slowly and methodically.

Sam strode over to Chavi's family. "Why are you here?" He asked them bluntly. "You don't get to take it back, you know." He said to her father. "You can displace your anger, and throw it at Dean all you want but it won't absolve you. You cast her out, you told her you had no daughter. " His voice was calm, with a purring undercurrent as he tuned into their grief, and guilt. "You can't unsay that now. She won't hear you. She won't even hear you railing at Dean. The one that she loved more than you. The one that you hated more than you loved her. No matter how you look at it, this all comes back on you, doesn't it? That has to suck."

"We have no business with you." Her father said coolly. "But I am not surprised that he sent someone else out to be his mouthpiece. Is he cowering in his impure house? Covered and smothered with his guilt? We warned him, we warned her. You know nothing of us, we have no piece with you. But I have a right to grieve my daughter in my own way." And if he could make Dean Winchester pay for the ruination of his daughter, it would be all the better.

Sam removed his glasses. "But I have business with you." He said. "You say the house is impure because the child resides in it and hasn't been baptized yet. You considered your daughter impure because she was pregnant. You would have them closeted away and shunned for the miracle of life. I know your ways." He said, and he did, as long as he focused on the man before him. "You failed her. You didn't raise her to believe as firmly in your ways as you do or Dean would have never met her. You cast her out instead of drawing her in closer and reminding her that her family needed her, and loved her. You gave her hate in return. But that's your way, isn't it? Not your people's ways... your ways. A bitter, angry, powerless man. You will leave this place, and you will never look back or you will find out exactly how much business you do have with me."

"Demon!" The father in law spit out at Sam, and had to be held back by a couple of his sons. Not in his right mind, he would have gone after Sam. "He spit on my culture, on my family. And this is what he has wrought because of it. Your threats mean nothing in the face of that. He disgraced my family, he killed my daughter. And sent a demon out to finish the rest of his work against my family. Oh, I know you too well. We are Roma, we will not be bowed and made to cower by a demon, or a man such as him."

"He didn't send me." Sam said with a low rumbling laugh, embracing in that moment a portion of what he was to become. "I came because you called me. Your hatred, your fear, it screams to my kind, like a dinner bell. If you knew half as much as you think you do, you would burn and salt your dead, and sleep in circles of salt. But you know nothing except that unnatural eyes, must be a demon." He mocked. "You know your magics, and your curses and your own darkness reflected in the world around you. Your daughter died of natural causes, and your disgrace is your own. After all, something had to make her flee the loving arms of her family to a man who was not of your tribe. Something had to make her feel unwelcome, unwanted... " he looked around the family eyes resting on the man's wife. "Wonder what that was... what could have broken her heart and made her leave...?" He stared at her a moment then turned back to the father. "Go on. Get out of here while I am still in the mood to be nice, and let you go on about your lives with no further trouble from me. "

"She was misguided. And fooled by him." Her mother said, pointing at the house. "Fooled by the bright and shiny world outside our kin, and look what became of her. What will become of that child? Living in the house that doomed her to her death." She was openly crying, leaning on one of her sons.

Dean looked out the window. "Dude, this isn't going well." He said with a chuckle to Jack as he grabbed a beer instead of drinking the soda.

Jack looked in turn. "Well... true... but it hasn't come to blows yet, and it looks like Sam is letting off some steam. " He frowned. "Is it a good thing to let that sort of demon let off steam? It's good for Ben, but did it seem to be a good thing with Mom or did it just make things worse once she got started? You knew that side of her more than I did."

Sam took a step forward. "The house killed her." He laughed. "The house doomed her to death." This time the dimples actually showed. "Last chance." He said, his voice going dark again, with all mirth long gone. The shadows deepened around them and Sam gave an almost gentle but firm push with his mind, forcing them off of the lawn, onto the sidewalk. "GO!" He said firmly. "And if there is so much as a single whisper of a curse directed at him or this family or this house I will wipe out every last one of you. Swallow you up in darkness and drown you in your own blood."

They stared at him in shock, stumbling as they pushed. They looked at Chavi's father, who nodded.

"I know your kind." He said. "I can just sit back and let you finish him off." He said as the family departed, some quicker than others.

Sam watched them go. He knew that just a few days ago that line would have almost finished him off. But he knew better. He wouldn't harm Dean, not this visit. He didn't know that he would ever harm Dean, at least not the way most people thought of it. He didn't really think that Maggie would have ever harmed Jack. But never the less he would go when Dean was back on his feet and his woman was in the ground. He wouldn't harm Dean but the darker he became, Dean might not give him a choice.

He put his glasses back on and made his way back into the house. He didn't trust the old man not to try something. He would have to keep vigil for a little while. Make sure that they didn't come back.

"So's my house going to be surrounded by torches and pitchforks tonight?" Dean called out in an eerily calm, tired voice. "Don't worry about it, Sam. I was expecting the torches, the pitchforks will be for your benefit though. Now we just gotta think of something they can add for Jack's benefit."

"That's...really not funny." Kaylie said.

"It's hysterical, in a nearly psycho Jack Nicholson way." Dean said.

Sam and Jack both laughed. "They really don't want to do that." Sam said. "Can you imagine explaining to the police that they had to destroy their son in law and his pet demon?" He grinned. "I hear they have Gordon in a nice padded cell most of the time now. He has trouble accepting that there aren't demons in there with him. One of our possessed individuals was in the same prison." He explained.

"Aww did you stop by for a little visit?" Dean teased. "I can see it now. Nice friendly traveling priest with his fluffy puppy boy side kick, and Whacked Out Gordon points to puppy boy and screams demon." He laughed. "Wonder if they took him down with cattle prods."

He was better. He was talking, he was eating, he was moving. He was interacting. But it was all still on the edge of every word he said, and every movement he made. He still didn't think it had fully hit him, and it wouldn't be good when it did. But at least he had experience with what happened when you brought someone who was stone cold dead back from the dead. What was dead should stay dead. No matter how badly you wanted them back. It was half the reason for the cremation, so the choice was taken out of his hands forever.

"He was screaming at the top of his lungs that I was ...well Sam Winchester, but I had this killer identity set up as Sean Talbot. It cost me a car that you would cry over, Dean, but it was air tight, till you found out anyway. Passed all the scrutiny for getting into the prison and by this time I had done away with any evidence the police had anywhere on either of us, so he is going off that I'm me, and that I'm evil and that the prisoner we are going to see was a demon and that I was going to consort with the demon and become an unstoppable evil. " He shook his head, laughing. "They wound up sedating him, and putting him in solitary because he was getting pretty dangerous. The sad part of that trip was that we had to bind the demon in place to keep it from escaping. I always hate doing that. Feels like giving up, but sometimes the possessed is shattered inside and to free them wouldn't be a blessing. "

He kept an eye on his brother as he spoke. Dean was doing better. Or at least he was faking it better. But that was the key to getting better. You faked it until you could really do it. He just hoped that Dean, unlike his father, would one day be able to really do it.

"Ah, the good old days." Dean said with a chuckle, then put his beer down when Mary started to cry. "Be back." He said, taking the formula he'd been warming up with him.

Kaylie looked at Sam, with his strange purple eyes. She'd met him briefly twice, once when Dean was in the hospital, another time, well, she didn't like to think about it. And he was even more different this time around. "Are you staying for a bit?" She asked.

He nodded. "For a few days." He said, putting his sunglasses back on. He didn't want to stir up a hornet's nest and then leave Dean to deal with the aftermath. He would need to go to mass the following morning though, he was slipping and needed to ground himself once more in the light, otherwise this would be a very short trip indeed. "Dean told me the guest room was across from the nursery. So... what all is going on in your lives? You two married yet? " He asked as he went to get a beer from the fridge, looking at the seal before taking the top off.

"This is my last semester." Kaylie said with a chuckle. "Then we'll seriously talk about the wheres and whens of that. Though we did find a great place we afford on our salaries," as she was still a waitress until she was done with college, "which is working out great. No one turning the heat up to 90, only to have someone else come in and turn the air conditioning down to 40." Dean and Ben were still battling over what normal room temperature should be whenever Dean went over there.

"Next time, I'll fry him." Ben said, coming in. The gypsies were scattered, which was good. One less thing to do. And all the condolence givers were also gone. Or else he wouldn't have come, because some memories he didn't like to relive. "There another sealed beer in there?" He asked Sam.

"Yeah." Sam said, nodding to Ben. "I'll make a beer run on the way home from Mass tomorrow morning. Wow that sounds ... different." He said with a chuckle, shaking his head. "So how ya been?" He asked, not exactly feeling the love from the three of them, but Dean needed time alone with his daughter as well. Time to grieve without everyone, including him, watching.

"Heard you went all exorcist." Ben said. "Can't say I'm overly fond of exorcists as a rule, but, hey, I'll deal." He'd been through enough exorcisms in his life, when medieval priests would swear he was possessed. He had scars from it. And he was just outside of the realm, just enough, to escape banishment or entrapment. Didn't make it any less painful when they tried though. He went and got himself a beer. "Think Dean would mind if I turned the heat up a bit?"

"Yes." Kaylie said automatically.

"Oh. Okay." Ben said and looked uncomfortable. "So, the gypsies are gone. Good."

"I know how to tell the difference between someone like you and someone that's possessed. Can't say I blame you for not liking it. It's not too comfy doing it anymore." He admitted. "Yeah I went and talked to them, convinced them it would be a good idea to go home. "

Jack laughed a little. "Yeah he had the neighbors convinced he was a candidate for sainthood. Or a lost puppy, they weren't sure which. Although I think the gypsies thought he was satan incarnate."

"So you threatened to kill the in laws." Ben said with a laugh. "Good, maybe they'll leave him alone for a little bit. He's had to deal with them enough. How IS he doing, by the way?"

"A little better. I took him to see a sunrise and he got to kick someone's ass. " Sam said. "Still ragged, still has me worried but he ate something and has been talking."

"Yeah he is in feeding Mary now." Jack said. "Where did you find a sunrise that late in the day?"

"Australia." Sam said with a shrug.

"Don't even start, Jack." Ben said to Jack. "I got you to Chicago in an eyeblink pretty much the same way."

Kaylie sighed and leaned her head on Jack's shoulder. "I'm not sure he'll ever get over this."

"How does anyone get over something like this?" Jack asked, holding Kaylie close. He couldn't imagine losing her, but he knew in this moment that one day, one of them would survive the other. One would be left behind like Ben and Dean, and it made his heart ache.

"You fake it until you can bury it or move on enough that you can breathe again. " Sam said from experience. It had taken years to get over Jess's death. So many nightmares, so many broken hearted days where he wasn't sure he was going to be able to face the morning sun, but Dean was there helping him through it. And they had a mission then. A real mission. The quest to find their father. Things had all fallen apart starting with Jess's death. That had been the begining of his decline. It had been the death blow and everything from that point on had been nothing but bleeding out and infection. He hoped Jack could be there for Dean the way Dean had been there for Sam. He knew he couldn't do it. The end was too near.

"Or you just become an all around asshole and open a strip club." Ben said with a chuckle as he lit a cigarette.

"Dean doesn't want smoking in the house." Kaylie said and Ben rolled his eyes.

"Fine." He said and put it out in the sink. "But Jack breathes just fine."

Sam chuckled. "Dean is going to be the world's most over protective and strangely indulgent father." He said with a smile, looking back on his own early childhood, before Dean had become more brother than father. "Until it's time for the little darling to start dating."

"At which point we hide his guns." Jack said, only half kidding.

"Yeah, good luck with that." Sam told him in turn.

"Could be worse. She could show up at my club looking for a job." Ben said with a grin. Because Dean would absolutely never allow that!

"That's all right. I'll help her sneak out of the house to meet boys. I was doing it for years before my father caught on." Kaylie said, then laughed. "And sure, he threatened to have Jack arrested for kidnapping, but still."

Jack laughed. "I remember that." He said shaking his head. "Then he threatened to show me how HIS father used to castrate bulls. Only without that pesky bovine presence."

"That's what you get for dating the daughter of a butcher who's the son of a rancher." Kaylie said with a laugh. "But I think Mary is going to be spoiled rotten." She looked at Sam. "Is it weird? I mean, having another Mary Winchester?" Since she knew Sam and Dean's mother's name was Mary. That's why it was chosen.

"No... not weird at all. I think Mom would like it." He said with a faint smile. "Hey, I'm just glad he didn't name her Samantha." Sam teased. "He seems to think that's my name most of the time. So what's her middle name anyway? I ... didn't get around to asking earlier."

There was a beat of silence, then Ben, Jack and Kaylie burst into laughter that took some time to subside.

"It's um..." Kaylie said before laughing again. Just because of Sam's comment.

"Samantha." Ben finished for her. It was pretty funny, given what Sam had just said.

Sam didn't know if he wanted to laugh with them or cry. "Mary Samantha Winchester." He said quietly "Well... I suppose it has a ring too it. Let's just hope the name is all she has in common with me."

"So long as she doesn't wind up with your jaw line... she'll be fine. You know there's this show on cable where the kid's favorite superhero has this really... pronounced chin." Jack said and was rewarded with a dinner roll in the forehead, tossed by a laughing Sam.

"Nice." Sam said. "You know yours isn't exactly receeding into your face either there, little brother."

"And you have nearly a Cro-Magnon forehead." Ben said to Sam. "And her father is bow legged. Oh the traits this poor child could have. If we're lucky, she'll look like her mother. If Dean's lucky, she won't."

"Maybe she will look like our mom with her mom's coloring... cause I can already tell she isn't going to be blonde. Green eyes is still an option though." Sam said, scowling at the Cro-Magnon comment, which only served to increase the effect in question.

"Definitely not blonde." Kaylie said with a laugh. "I know we're supposed to leave him alone and everything, and give him space, but I don't know, maybe someone should bring him something to drink?" She suggested, meaning Dean. He'd started eating, she didn't want to see him stop. It hadn't been easy to get him to start in the first place.

Sam and Jack stood up at the same time, and stared at each other for a moment before Jack sat down somewhat reluctantly and let Sam go and get the beer for their brother. Jack felt as though he had been replaced. Just in the blink of an eye, Sam was back. Dean needed Sam. He had always needed Sam. Sam always needed him. It was one of the most powerful bonds Jack had ever seen and he felt small in its wake. And while he ached inside, grieving for his sister in law, aching from the pain that his brother was feeling, wanting to be the one he turned to in his grief, he knew that it needed to be Sam that went to him. He hated Sam in that moment, even though it was unreasonable and irrational and Sam had done whatever he had done to protect Dean.

Sam silently walked to the kitchen and grabbed two beers, checking the seal on at least one of them before walking into the nursery. "Thought you might want another one." He said setting it on the small table beside the rocking chair. "Since Mary isn't the only one bottle fed around here. "

"Ha, ha. Very funny." Dean said, balancing the bottle in the crook of his neck, putting the beer between his knees and twistingt the cap off. "You know, you were smaller than her when you were born. Imagine that. God I was disappointed when they brought you home. They promised me someone to play with. All you did was cry, eat, sleep and shit." He said with a chuckle. "Hardly sidekick material back then."

"Yeah, takes a few years for that to happen. But I bet they will fly by with this little angel." He said as he took a seat on the floor. "Doesn't seem like it's been long enough for all these changes. I mean since... since Jess... So much has happened and it's all been in so short a time. Too short a time."

"It's never long enough." Dean said. "Even if it had happened over fifty years. "I mean, shit, blows my mind that you were nearly a lawyer. Because sometimes when I think of you, I think of the kid I had to potty train. No idea how to potty train a girl. Not like I can throw Cheerios in the toilet and tell her to aim." He said with a chuckle. "But I got a while to figure that out. Heard Ben out there, surprised he came. Must have been disappointed that you already took care of the in laws."

"I think Jack called him in, just in case I get out of hand." He said with a smirk. "They all really care about you out there. I'm glad." He knew Dean would need the help once he was gone again. "You have a house and a business... it's amazing. You've really gotten your life put together... I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment. Would probably have you committed if it did... but you've done really well for yourself."

"Dude, if you've ever lived with Ben, you'd work your ass off to get a place of your own too." Dean said with a chuckle as he put the baby bottle back on the table, Mary having eaten her fill for the time being. "Cracked out demon keeps the temperature at 85. Year round. Complains that he once traveled into hell itself and it wasn't hot enough for him. Then there's Jack and Kaylie and their attempts to be quiet. So once you get a place, then you have to pay for it because no one lets you out of their sight long enough to be nomadic like we used to be. The only thing I can legally do to make money is cars...yeah, so, it's easily explained. Everything you see though, not my doing. Before...Chavi...I had a couch, a chair, a bed and a well stocked beer fridge. She decided I needed, oh I don't know, bread. A table. Frames for pictures, that sort of thing."

"It's a girl thing." Sam said. "Jess did the same thing. I left home with a duffle bag of stuff and that was enough for me. Easy to keep track of and keep the roommates out of in the dorm. Jess... she didn't want a crash pad, she wanted a home, and the moment we moved in together it was homemade chocolate chip cookies, and furniture. I didn't know what to do with it... I was used to just a bed, maybe a chair. Next thing I know, there's a coffee table, and end tables and a couch in between them."

"Makes you wonder how we survived in furnished rental homes and cheap motel rooms, doesn't it?" Dean said with a laugh. "So you and Jack have a truce all signed out, or do I have to put Kaylie between you? Cause, dude, not up to breaking you two up. This little one has her father's appetite, so that's what I'll be doing." And figuring out how to deal. If he could. Or just shove it down so he could function. If he could do that. He had good moments, he had terrible hours.

"It's not written out and signed, but it's understood. It's okay, I get it. I'm dangerous and I just moved into his territory." He shrugged. "He'll be fine once things settle down again." He was sorry there hadn't been time to get to know Jack before he had left. It would have made things easier now. But the man knew when to back off so it was all good in the end. He had to make sure to talk to Ben later about that ritual. Preferably alone.

"You make it sound like I'm some fire hydrant dogs fight over. I swear, the first time either of you lift your leg, I'm laying down a smackdown for the ages." Dean said with a chuckle. He supposed in a way he should be flattered, since they cared so much to nearly fight over him. And he wished in these moments he didn't have to be a selfish bastard and just refuse to share Sam for the short time he was allotted with his brother, but dammit he was. So he was going to be.

"So you named the poor kid after me, huh? Dude, just so that you know... this one gets to have long hair, and it's okay if she cries like a girl." He said with a grin, He just couldn't wrap his brain around how much Dean had changed, or more appropriately put, his life had changed. Dean was very much the same. He could sense the older man's insecurity and lack of self worth just as keenly as his father in law's guilt and sin. His ability to sense the weaknesses in others was growing stronger. He didn't think that was a good sign.

"Yeah, yeah I know. She can be a girl." Dean said. "And she's going to have the things we never really had. A home, go to the same school for years, friends that you don't have to lie to. Definitely never driving foreign. She won't get dragged on hunts." He chuckled, but it was without humor. "And there were people that asked why, if it was a boy, I never considered John as part of the name. The world doesn't need another John Winchester. I love him, don't get me wrong. Damn near worship the man but...Sam, did you ever forgive him? Dad I mean."

"Yeah... I did." Sam told him honestly. "Had to do a lot of soul searching... yeah I know... ironic choice of words coming from me, but I had to in order to be able to go the exorcist route. It took a lot for me to do it. But the thing is... it wasn't his fault I am what I am anymore than it's the fault of any of those other people out there that are possessed what's done while they are back seat driving." He sighed a little. "And if he hadn't raised us as he did, I don't know that I would have lasted as long as I have against it. I'm not happy about it all. I hate that we missed all those normal kid things. Would have really liked to have had a dog." He laughed a little then, even if it was sadly. "But I don't have to be happy with it, or him, to forgive him. You know what's funny... the part that hurt worst was that he didn't even say goodbye."

"No he didn't." Dean said. "He had the time to. To either of us, both of us. Because I really don't think 'save your brother or kill him, and oh by the way you have another brother' counts as a good bye anymore than 'hey Sam, would you mind getting me a cup of caffeine?' counts." He remembered that period of time. Three minutes, sometimes it played out in slow motion, sometimes super fast. But no matter how many times it got played in his head, there was never a good bye in there. "He never did drink the coffee." And strangely it upset him. Like that task for Sam was just one in a long line of pointless tasks he'd set them on in the past. "He was there, and then he wasn't. Chavi was there, then the doctor told me she wasn't."

"If he had said an actual good bye, you wouldn't have let him go." Sam said simply. "It's not in you to let go of anyone. It's part of what makes you ... you... but it's what tears you up inside. I'm sorry to be a part of that pain."

"Yeah, everyone's real sorry. I hate that phrase. I do." Dean said as he just looked at his daughter as he talked. "You do something wrong as a kid, parents make you apologize. Makes sense. We get to be grown ups, and we still say it, nearly automatically because it's just been trained into us. I bet Dad sure is sorry that he had to leave that way, but he did anyway. You're sorry, and you're going to leave anyway. So it's really just a bandaid you put over a big gaping gut wound because you don't know what else to do."

"I don't want to leave Dean... but I'm not going to stay. You know what will happen if I do, and I don't want you to remember me like that. Sounds selfish considering what sort of monster I am becoming and what I would probably do and I'm worried about how the part of me that is still me is going to be remembered. " He shook his head. "I seriously was not nice to your inlaws man... I mean... said things and wanted to do things... that the guy you remember would never do in a million years no matter what circumstances. But here I am...doing things."

"Dude, I don't have a history of being nice to them." Dean said. "And you'd figure, except for the ethnocentricism and xenophobia, we'd have a lot in common, right? And I know Sam. I know, I do. Okay, I get it. I'm not that thick in the head. But it doesn't make it any easier to be the one left behind again. And I am so frigging sick of being the one that's always left behind."

"Just don't let it... you know... " How to say 'make you like Dad' with out actually saying it. "Too afraid to get close again. We don't live in a world where people last all that long I'm afraid. I think that was why Dad didn't introduce us to too many of them, really. "

"Yeah, I know." Dean said. "But I'm not joining the PTA and I'm not driving a mini van and I'm not ever ever baking cupcakes. Should I ever, you'll have to come back and exorcise me."

Sam laughed at that. "Yeah I probably would." He said. "Do us all a favor though... don't teach her that it's okay to shoot the boys. It's much better if she just sabotage their cars."

"Ooh, that's harsh." Dean said and carefully stood up with the baby. "Come on, might as well go back there. Show them all I'm doing a hell of a job at faking being okay." There was a wake to get ready for anyway.

Sam got up as well. "Yeah... that's the first step, faking it." He knew that all too well. He spent most of his time faking it now. Faking being okay, faking that it wasn't tearing him apart inside every day that he was on his own, faking it that he wasn't in excruciating pain every time he went on another exorcism. That it didn't hurt to take communion. Faking it that he was still human just a little while longer, in the hopes that maybe he could make it on just stubbornness alone.

"Makes everyone else feel better." Dean said as he came out into the kitchen. "Hey." He said to Ben.

"Hey." Ben said. There wasn't too much to say. Couldn't very well say 'I know this is tearing you apart inside, and I can't even promise you it will get better, because tomorrow, you'll wake up and she'll still be gone.' Because that would be cruel, to the both of them.

"Bobby said he was on his way when he called me today... so he should be here tomorrow or the next day." Sam said in order to make conversation that didn't involve the words I'm sorry, and oh god I wish I could take the pain away.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, Ellen said she's coming in as well. Ash too." Dean said. Then there was silence. Always so much silence.

"Well this is awkward." Ben said as he opened the back door. Half in the house, half out of the house, he smoked blowing the smoke outside. "Dean, your wife is dead. And it sucks more than anyone could possibly try to tell you. You don't need us to tell you how much it sucks anyway, you know. You've got everyone coming in from out of town to say their good byes to her, and try to give you a bit of support. That's going to suck too. Now, I suppose you could do what Sam did. Hop in the car and go on a supernatural hunt across the country, but you've got Mary, and you can't." He said, referring to when Jessica had died. "You can't outrun this. You can't out fight it. Could try and drown it, but then who's going to raise the kid? So I guess your only choice is to deal and pick yourself up. Now we can all sit here staring at him, and that's even less fun than it sounds. Or someone can talk. Besides me."

Sam nodded. "So... Ellen... that's going to be interesting." He said having a serious lack of trust in the woman that he had once trusted enough to confide things he probably shouldn't have. He supposed it was because now he actually was something that should be hunted down and killed. Bobby wouldn't do it until the end so he trusted him. "Okay... well... people could catch me up on things... I know these two are living in sin, Ben still owns a strip club and you are a mechanic and a part time hunter now, even though there is technically no such thing, it's one of those things that you either are or aren't." He said with a laugh. "But what else is going on around here in people's lives?"

Jack shrugged. "I'm a paramedic now, we are living in a rental house across town but pretty much we all got together for dinner once a week when schedules worked out. Ahm... it's a pretty quiet life really, except for patching Dean up since he still hates going to a hospital to be seen. "

"Hospitals wig me out." Dean said. "I've been in a hospital three times in my adult life for myself. Each time they told me, or Sam, I was going to die. Obviously they were wrong, because I'm going to outlive all of you."

"Except me." Ben said. "Don't worry, Dean, when you die, I'll be sure to burn your body, after dressing it up in a nice pink ruffled prom gown. I think Kaylie has one."

"It wasn't pink. It was rose." Kaylie said.

"It was pink." Ben said with a chuckle.

"He has the coloring for pink." Sam pointed out. "But I don't know that any amount of salting and burning would keep him from coming back from the grave if you did that. Personally I think you should cremate him in his car."

"You know, I'm for that idea." Dean said. "And I do not have the coloring for pink."

"It wasn't pink anyway. It was rose." Kaylie said again.

"I went with Jack to get the cumberbund and everything. It was pink." Ben said. A harmless topic. People usually talked about what to do with their remains, especially if they knew what was really out there. Add in some humor and it was a good bridge. "Jack, tell her it was pink."

"It ... was pink.. rose is a shade of pink." He said apologetically. It was true. He hated doing it to her, but there was no way he could argue the distinction between rose and pink and keep his masculinity intact.

"Fine." Kaylie said and threw a pretzel at him.

"Uh oh." Dean said, managing a chuckle. "Don't worry, dude, I've got a couch if you need it."

"I remember a time when women were seen, and not heard." Ben said with a smirk.

"Would that be the time when you had absolutely no chance of getting laid without getting skewered later?" Kaylie said sweetly.

"Ouch. Point taken." Ben said. "So what's the plan for tonight? I mean, are you taking the baby to the funeral home?"

"I can baby sit if you want." Sam said, knowing it was probably a long shot. "I ahm... never met her, so it makes sense that everyone else is going to need to go say their goodbyes." Dean would probably need him but that was up to Dean really which he needed more. Or if he would even trust him with the child.

"No, no. Ben can babysit." Dean said.

"I can what?" Ben said with a chuckle. "Thanks for volunteering me."

"Anytime." Dean said with a tired sigh. But he knew to walk into the funeral home, he'd need both his brothers. Because he wasn't sure he could do it. "I'll have another favor later."

Sam nodded. Having been a child in Maggie's keeping while she was probably less gone than he was right then, he couldn't blame his brother for saying no. Trusting himself with Sam, and trusting his only child with Sam were two different things. He took it as one of the first signs that Dean was taking this transformation seriously and it relieved Sam more than anything else. "What time are we supposed to be there? And will the in laws have to be dealt with?"

"I don't know, six." Dean said, looking lost again.

"Well, don't worry. Jack survived to adulthood." Ben said. "I can handle a few hours with the baby." Ben assured him. "Go get dressed. I know how these things go, you're expected to wear something a little more formal than what you've got on."

Sam excused himself to change clothes as well. He still kept a suit. It was what he went to church in when time allowed for such things as dressing for the occasion, and he used it when interviewing families of the possessed. What Dean called the fluffy puppy boy was great for shmoozing grannies or moms who missed their children away at college, but it didn't instill confidence in the families in need of his help. Not that he did much of the official type exorcisms anymore, that is to say church sanctioned. The eyes tended to put people off. Once the eyes had shifted almost permenantly he had parted ways with the good father. He tried to stay in contact but he didn't want to risk the older man anymore than he wanted to risk his brother.

"Damn you, Bobby." He said, wishing the man hadn't convinced him to come. All he had done was bring a momentary comfort and a future full of sorrow and painful death to his brother. But it was too late to leave now. He would stay until the end now. Which meant he had to talk to Ben about things. Because the end wasn't far off.

He tamed his hair and headed back out to rejoin the others.

Jack and Kaylie left to go change, they'd meet Dean there. And Dean was in his room, getting up the nerve to dress to go to his wife's wake. That left Ben and Mary in the living room. They were both on the floor and just staring at each other, but Ben heard Sam return.

"They're so little, aren't they?" Ben said. "Human babies. But I think right now, in this moment, she's smarter than all the rest of the humans in the world. All down hill from here, I'm afraid."

Sam nodded as he knelt down beside them. "Got a question... you found that ritual Dad used to take care of Maggie right? You wouldn't happen to know anything about it, would you? I have someone I would like to have a copy if you do." Not Dean. Never Dean. He wouldn't be able to do it. His father had never had more than friendship with priviledges sort of relationship with Maggie in the first place, add on the years of looking over his shoulder and the torment of his sons and John would have had no trouble sending her to hell in a hand basket. But Dean... Dean wouldn't be able to do it and come through on the other side. "And that person is under no circumstances to be either of my brothers."

Ben took his eyes off Mary for a split second to look at Sam. "See? Right now she's smarter than you. Because I can understand baby gurglings even if you can't." He really couldn't but that was beside the point. "She's saying if you give me a name to give this ritual to, most likely it's going to be a human. Nearly did your father in. And you'll know that name. When you finally cross over to the dark and nasty side, instead of the light side your brothers are on, or even the nice warm gray side I reside in, this person will be the first person you gun for. I've got it. And no matter how evil you get, you still can't hurt me. As for me, I might not be able to kill you myself. But I can hurt you. Keep that in mind that when you go all twisty and come after anything or anyone in association with me, I will hurt you. To the point where you beg for death, but can't die. Mary's a brilliant child, isn't she?"

"Quite brilliant. What does she say about you taking care of business when that time comes so that I don't come back and tear her apart to hurt my brother because we both know that no one can keep vigil 24/7, and you know what sort of bastard I am well on the way to becoming? I don't want them hurt. In fact I would cheerfully walk away from here with you once there is a graceful time to make a permanent exit and let it be taken care of before I get to that point completely. Not really wanting to get to the point that I am what I hunt." And for him that had become solely the realm of demons that took possession of others.

"She says you're an idiot." Ben said seriously. "Do you know how I stay off the radar? Because I stay to my self. I protect what's me and mine, and that's it. You think human hunters and exorcists have the monopoly on hunting? Demons hunt. They hunt humans, they hunt other demons who've gotten out of line. Now, I'm not exactly in line, I'm granted some leeway because I'm older than most the others. Once you get away from that Fallen mess, anyway. But there is a hierarchy. I don't take orders from anyone, but there are rules I follow. I take down a demon, it will get around. And you think you'd be hard to deal with, kid you don't know half of what's out there. Now Maggie, she was a handful. Causing all sorts of disturbances. She hunted humans AND demons, and that's just not allowed. So the rest of them turned a blind eye when I did what I did. And what your father and I did, I'll never tell you. In case I do have to do it, you can't prepare for it. But I cannot do it now. For those reasons and I can't look at Jack and tell him I took away his brother's only chance, however fleeting, of hope before he could act on it. Once it's proven you cannot be saved, you better start looking over your shadowy shoulder because I will turn up. Until then, Mary says practical and honorable and misguided suicide is out."

"I've been crossing that line since I took the deal. They'll likely look the other way, if not try and beat you to me." Sam said as he got to his feet and walked over to the window. They had threatened to enough. Sam had told them to bring it any time, so far no takers.

"Ah, but you're missing the one key point." Ben said. "You haven't gone after me and mine. Maggie had to be taken care of, she was a threat to Jack. Not to mention if she killed his brothers before they ever got to reunite, that would be a bad thing. At least to Jack. Besides, asking me to kill you, isn't that assisted suicide? Thought you were all Catholic now. That has to be against one of their ridiculous rules. So you did take a deal. I thought so. Thanks for confirming that for me. But if you ever remember the first time you met Jack, all that happened, you would know I couldn't do that to Dean. Because if there is a chance to save you, he deserves to try. Probably the only one that can." Sam had gotten them across the barrier. But Dean had gotten the mystical water. Not to mention come back from Death's own doorstep far too many times. "If Dean or Jack ask me, I'll do it without provocation. Because then it's not suicide. Hey, don't look at me, I'm not the one who became Catholic. That's all you."

"Once I become shadow... there is no soul left to worry about. Not that I haven't considered taking a dive sometimes any way, but that would be letting one of the bad guys win, and the Winchester in me just can't do it. I just hope when the time come you're quick on the draw because Dean won't be. And we both know it's inevitable. I think there are a few others out there that might be first on the list.. lovers that haven't died in front of me yet... old friend... but eventually we both know I'll be back here one last time."

"You'll be back here first." Ben said, sitting up. "Because Dean was what kept you irrevocably human for so long. Even now, you're holding back, not changing no matter how much everything inside you is screaming to cross over, because right now you're here for Dean. You two are parasitic off each other. You need him as much as he needs you. Won't change when you become a shadow, just take on a different form. You'll need him dead then."

"Then there is going to be a problem." Even now, no one knew Dean the way he did. "So was that what was going on with Maggie, some sort of love for Dad twisted into hate? I never could wrap my brain around that one. Why she kept coming after us. Even now that I know why she came after me the first time, the others make no sense. "

"It might have been a core reason." Ben said thoughtfully. "First time, she needed your blood. And give John a good scare. For she needed a piece of him too. For Jack. To save him, you didn't know him then, I did. Between her demonic father and me, we barely kept the kid alive long enough for her to fix him. And we're talking some serious demonic power there. The second time, she thought your father went back on his word. The third time...well, I'd tell you. But you'd use it in the future. So I won't." He wouldn't give Sam that nugget on Dean. "But you're not the only special one in the family." That Dean's blood, in its purest unbridled form, because of what John had done, because of Dean himself, it was worth starting a cult over. If you were a demon. Which Sam was well on his way to becoming. Or even a nutcase human like Maggie's father. "Can you hold it together long enough to get Dean through this? Because if not, you're better off walking away right now. Find a shadow and disappear."

"I'm good. My being here causes other problems. Lesser demons coming to enforce Daddy's rule about no interaction." He said rolling his eyes. "With that started, I will stay as long as he actually needs me. Not thinks he needs me. I'll know when he's on the way back." He could read Dean without demonic abilities. Now, well... now he could sense him from across the world he thought. And that frightened him in so many ways.

"You think I'm going to let demons who thrive on misery and pain near this house?" Ben asked. "I don't know whether to pity you for your arrogance or be insulted. Jack and Kaylie will be up Dean's ass for a while. There will be no demonic attacks on this household. You don't live as long as I do without learning a few tricks. Combine that with underhanded hunter tricks, and, well, your brothers and your niece are safe."

Sam sighed and shook his head. He could say the same of Ben. "Anyone can be out numbered and overwhelmed. Everyone makes mistakes." And his had been in coming. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Bobby's number. He had said he was on his way, where the hell was he? He had guilted him into breaking half of the bargain by coming here, he could damned well be around to deal with the aftermath of it. Ben had no idea how far reaching the yellow eyed fallen had gotten. Humans, lesser demons, other fallen... and those like Sam ... not merely transforming into demons and giving up their mortal remains, but those that were something different entirely. Not quite like their fathers, but not entirely like their bretheren either. But Sam wouldn't continue the conversation now. Ben didn't understand. He couldn't. Sam actually found himself looking forward to the fight with the son of a bitch, and that couldn't be a good sign. "Bobby, where the hell are you?" He asked as the phone was answered.

"I'm in a goddamn metal death trap skating toward the asphalt like a brick on rails." Bobby said. "Then I'm going to get in some poor excuse for a rental car and be at the funeral home fifteen minutes after the wake starts. So you better be there, Sam Winchester." Bobby said as he held onto the arm rest with his free hand as the plane landed. He wasn't afraid of flying, like Dean, he just didn't much like it.

"I am sitting in Dean's living room looking at my niece right now." He said and considered making it sound ominous. It would serve Bobby right. If he had left well enough alone or waited a week to tell him things... "Already had three demons make an appearance. one was standing outside the damned nursery door when I got here..." He shot Ben a look at that one. "I forgot about her. Wonder how she's liking the shadows. I suppose once the wake is done I could go and exorcise her and let the woman go at least but she'll keep for now. The other two tracked us down when I took Dean to sunrise. They've fired the warning shots. What comes next will be for real. You ready for this?" He asked a little curtly.

"Yeah, yeah." Bobby said as the plane landed. "And how's Dean doing? He okay?" Demons could be handled, they always were one way or another. But Dean eating a bullet, that was a whole other problem he didn't want to deal with.

"Four." Ben said. "Four demons. One just happens to be disregarded most of the time." Sam would learn, when he crossed over, why that wasn't a great idea. Ben wasn't the utmost powerful of demons, but he wasn't one to be trifled with either.

"You don't count unless you have suddenly joined forces with a fallen angel." Sam pointed out " Dean is... Dealing about like Dad." He said, knowing that his father wasn't always the brooding, broken man that he had been when he had thought about Mary. He had conversations, he had laughed and joked and faked his way through happiness with his sons. It wasn't all guns and rock salt. Sam could see that now that he was over it. Now that he had made his peace with the ghost of his father inside him. And that was what Dean was doing. he was faking his way through being functional.

"She hasn't even been dead two days." Bobby said. "It's okay for him to be, well, broken right now. It's when he refuses to put himself together that I'd start worrying." Grief was expected, it was natural. It could even be good. "We just all have to get him past that broken stage. All of us, Sam." Because he knew Dean. He knew Sam. Two sides of a single coin if there ever was one. Sam considered himself lost, that was fine. But he wasn't allowed to take Dean with him.

"You asked how he was doing. I answered truthfully. I didn't say it was hopeless or inappropriate." Sam said with a sigh. "Speaking of which, I have to go check on him. We gotta get going here in a minute."

"Fine. I'll be there." Bobby said as he picked up the keys to his rental car. "Sammy, I know he's glad you came."

"I know... I'm glad I am here. Doesn't mean it was the safest decision I have ever made. I'll see you there." He said as he hung up. He headed to Dean's room and knocked on the door before entering. "Hey, Man... you gonna make it?" He asked, knowing that if he asked if he were alright now, the answer would not be his usual, and that worried him.

Dean was dressed. He forgot getting dressed, but he was dressed as his brother came in. "Yeah, I'll make it." He said with a sigh. He got off the bed. "Let's just get this over with before I decide it's really not a good idea." Their father didn't have a wake after all.

"Everyone needs the chance to say their ...peace." Final good byes? Bullshit. There were no final goodbyes. it was a euphamism for getting a little closure. Seeing that they are really truly irrevocably dead. "And maybe if they see you at the wake they won't come by tomorrow with more casserole dishes and condolences. "

"Yeah. I guess." Dean said as he grabbed his jacket. "Ben, if she so much has a gas bubble when I get home, you're waking up in an ice box. I swear it." He said as he picked Mary up and kissed her, putting her in the playpen. "Daddy will be back, he just has to go do something." He looked at Sam. "Come on." He tossed Sam the keys. "You better drive."

It had been a while since he had driven the Impala."Here's hoping she lets me. You know I could actually exorcise the car now." It was an old tired joke now but it was familiar.

"Don't even." Dean said. "And she'll let you drive her. She let Kaylie drive her after all. Went through brake pads like butter, but she let Kaylie drive her. Might not now, though." Now that he wasn't doped up in the back seat. "Just drive. It's on Fourth Street. Only one."

Sam did as Dean asked, and simply drove. The car didn't complain, didn't make strange noises. It wasn't that it had really ever complained about Sam driving. It was just Sam's way of teasing about the strange devotion Dean had to his car. Although it made sense in a strange sort of way.

He parked near the door, and handed Dean the keys back. "Bobby is on his way. Jack and Kaylie will be here, and I'm here. You can get through this. "

"I don't have a choice, Sam." Dean said tiredly. "Last thing I want for Mary is what we had. Then again, it was probably the last thing Dad wanted too." But he made himself get out of the car. The room was starting to fill with solemn, quiet people. Some were crying, others talking in low voices. Kaylie had set up the expected posterboard of pictures of Chavi, and Dean pointedly did not look at her casket. "Okay, two hours, I can do two hours."

Sam rested his hand on his brother's back. This was a pain he knew all too well. Although there hadn't been a wake, he knew the pain Dean was going through, he had felt so lost and alone after Jessica's death. Guilt and anger overrode everything else. It had been Dean and the hunt that had held him together. He smiled sadly at those that came to shake Dean's hand,and meet Sam, who told them politely no, he had never met his sister in law. He had been away on business for the last two years. It wasn't exactly a lie. Not that he could tell them what the business really was, redirecting the conversation when he had to and finally excusing them from all the mourners to get to a seat.

Jack wasn't far behind Sam and Dean. He looked over at Kaylie and shook his head. "I don't know if Sam being here is a good thing, or something that will send him completely over the edge when he leaves again." He said as he parked the car.

"I know." Kaylie said. "I don't know, maybe he's going off the edge anyway, and having what's left of his family all around him right now is only delaying it." She found Sam even odder than the last time she had met him. And privately wondered when Jack and Sam were going to come to blows. Somehow this wasn't the reunion any of them had ever pictured.

"Probably. I just worry what he is gonna do when he loses Sam again on top of everything else. Because we can't let him come back again. He is too close to the edge. Reminds me of my mom... the last little while I had her." He said as his throat tightened. "She loved me, took care of me, played games, cuddled, took me to the fucking zoo to see the tigers... and all the while she was tormenting my father and brothers. So I don't doubt that he loves Dean, and would do anything for him... but I don't want you alone with him... or anywhere close to him while he is here. I don't trust that he has any such warm and fuzzy feelings for anyone else here. "

"I know, I don't plan on being alone with him. Your brother or not, he gives me the wiggins." Kaylie said. "I think even Dean knows that, deep down. After all, Ben's watching the baby, not Sam. And Ben is as unlikely a candidate for that as anyone else I know. Dean realizes more than he wants to admit. It might be easier this time."

"I thought my heart was gonna stop when he offered to baby sit. That was Mom's gig, go after the kids when she really wanted my father. Sam might go after Mary to put the screws to Dean when he goes over the edge completely. Honestly... I wish he hadn't come. But he is helping Dean... I guess so long as we stay vigilant it will be for the best. " He said, getting out of the car. "Okay...time to go pretend this doesn't wig me out and put out the unified brotherly front for Dean's sake."

"It'll be fine." Kaylie said as they entered the funeral home. Between Ben's club and sports bar, Dean's business, and everyone's extended network of friends, there were plenty of people that knew Chavi and Dean. And seemed they came out in droves. Dean spotted Kaylie and Jack walking in, and managed to extricate himself from a weepy woman who was crying all over Dean.

"Excuse me." He said and hurried over to Jack. "You know, it's creepy that mainstream culture waits in line to see a dead body." He said. "You know that, right? It's not like she's even here. Could be a doll for all I really know." Because fifteen feet away was the closest he got.

"You haven't gone over there?" Jack asked, looking around the room, spotting Sam diverting the flow away from Dean. "It's ... you really should, You haven't seen her since the doctors chased you out of the delivery room. " That would come back to haunt him later if he didn't actually go over and say good bye. The lack of finality. The lack of closure.

"I will." Dean said. "Just...later. The minute I take a step over there, you know there's going to be silent period and everyone will start watching me. Maybe when everyone's gone." Maybe. He was still undecided on that. "Did a nice job on the posterboard." He said to Kaylie.

"Thanks." Kaylie said. It was one thing she could do. She and Jack had picked out the outfit Chavi was wearing too.

Bobby came in. He was in a decent suit, nicely pressed, but still had his worn cap on his head as he looked around. He hated funerals. But he came.

Sam looked up seeing Bobby and was relieved. Bobby he could count on if things got ugly. Bobby wasn't an arrogant bastard. He was just damned good and knew it. He had been forged in fires as hot as their father had, and for a good deal longer. If something ugly went down, he could count on Bobby to protect his brother. He excused himself from the woman that was currently filling him in on his deceased sister in law's virtues, to greet the man who was one of his few friends.

"Sam." Bobby said with a nod as Sam came over to him. "Good to see you." Maybe. Jury was still out on that part, but it was good for Dean to see him in any case. "Any strange occurances I should bounce out of here? Or just sit back and relax?"

"Sit back and relax... things haven't gotten twisted yet. Hoping they won't while we are here." Sam said. That would be the last thing Dean needed, which was why Sam figured it was the time they would strike.

"All right." Bobby said. "Wow, Dean knew all these people?" He said, looking around. "But good to see you're holding on right now. And you know what your father would say about that hair."

"Yeah. Who knew me out of his life would lift the curse?" Not the Dean would see it that way. especially not while he was in so much pain. But Sam knew. Dean was in pain, yes, but Dean had so much more even now than he had ever had a chance at in their previous lives. "And Dad wouldn't have said much at this point. He would have handed the shears to Dean and held me down." Sam said with a grin.

"Well, I wouldn't discount it now." Bobby said with a chuckle. "Dean and Jack, they could cut a couple of locks off that mess on top your head now if they really wanted to. Sam, there wasn't a curse. There was just a habit of always moving around. Chasing first your dad, then the demon. There was no curse."

"My conception." Sam said simply, and sincerely believed it. He had believed since he was a little boy that it was his fault his mother had died, the demon had confirmed it in the cabin wearing his father's body, and Dean had confirmed it again with the revelation that he was another creature. Another monster like Maggie. "That's when it all started. " He nodded. "They have bonded real tight. I'm glad." He said changing the subject.

"Well, Dean likes to look after people. Jack has a caretaker streak in him too, and Dean gives him a lot to take care of." Bobby said with a chuckle. "It's not that Jack replaced you, I think the little shit feels threatened that you're back anyway. But Winchester men have never been simple, transparent creatures, have they?"

"Nope." He said with a chuckle. "Don't know that Dad was all that simple before all hell struck either. I know I haven't been replaced. Not yet. Still hoping for that one. " He said in a strange honesty, even though it tore his heart out.

Bobby shook his head. As an outsider looking in, he knew that Sam would never be replaced. Even Dean knew that much. "So how's the baby?" He asked. Nice, neutral topic.

"She is adorable." Sam said with a smile. "And is going to have that Winchester nose in miniature." He laughed a little "Son of a bitch gave her the middle name of Samantha... poor kid."

"Do you two even know what the Winchester nose is? Just saying, you boys and your dad had your noses broken more times than nose job patient." Bobby said with a chuckle. "Yeah, I knew that had to be coming. Coulda made it the first name, you know."

"Oh god... Mary is a good name. I like Mary... Dad would like Mary. Samantha... no. Surprised he wanted the constant reminder. But then Dean was always one for constant painful reminders."

"You're not a constant painful reminder." Bobby said. "You two have a lot of good memories, don't you, kiddo?" The sort of undying loyalty Dean had toward Sam, there had to be good in there.

"Yeah... we do. That's why I wanted to be gone before things got bad... I didn't want him to remember me... like her. You saw the aftermath... I was there... He had a panic attack looking at her picture all these years later. I didn't even want him to see the eyes much less everything else. Didn't want to wipe out all those good times with me being a shadowy bastard ... that evil purple eyed demon... chip off the old block."

"Sam." Bobby said. "He's going to remember the baby he carried out of his burning childhood home. The chubby twelve year old who was happy to read all day. The man who refused to let him die at all, never mind die in peace. Nothing erases that."

"I wish I could believe that." He said sadly. "But I don't... especially not now. Not when I have to fight to keep what's left of... Sam... me... in control...Sometimes I'm more shadow than man. I should have ended it that night, but... I couldn't give up yet."

"Still pissed at me for dragging you here?" Bobby asked. "Thought you were actually going to come to my place and try to kill me or something."

"Not while I still have a body." Sam said. "Murder being a bad thing after all, and finding a confessor to hear my confession to demonic activities ... not likely to happen. Pavel is a bit busy these days." He half grinned. "Still pissed but the longer we last without demonic attack the less angry I am. No guarantees when the body goes since it takes the last of my soul with it."

"Then we'll deal with that then." Bobby said. "Father Pavel is being kept busy, isn't he? Poor old guy. I think he once had dreams of retirement in an apartment in Vatican City. But I suppose rest isn't just denied to the wicked."

"Yeah cause that man doesnt have wicked bone in his body." He started to share an anecdote with Bobby, when he looked up at the door and paled ever more than he already was. "Son of a bitch." He growled. "Get Dean out of here fast before he sees him." He told Bobby, his eyes never leaving the latest guest to arrive, as he strode forward.

Bobby stared in shock for a moment. Of all the low handed tricks...then went over to Dean.

"Dean, I sure was sorry to hear about Chavi." He said, trying to edge him out of the room.

"Bobby." Dean said, with nearly a sigh of relief. A normal person who wouldn't suffocate him with how sorry they were. He'd said his piece and that was it. "Glad you could make it. Jack, you remember Bobby Singer?" He said and was about to immerse himself in friendly reminders when he saw him over Bobby's shoulder. No matter how much Bobby was trying to edge him out of the room, and quickly, he saw him. "Son of a bitch." He snarled and started to push past Bobby to get to him. Where his brother was headed, but all Dean saw was him. The image of John Winchester, but Dean knew it wasn't John Winchester anymore than Dean was.

Jack looked up and followed his brothers stalking across the room. "Oh my god... son of a bitch. Kaylie go home... now... We are going to need Ben here." He said as he joined Sam and Dean in an unexpected sign of solidarity. John Winchester didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to be used as a cattle prod against his sons.

"Well, well, all the boys together again." 'John' said. "Seem to remember saying this wasn't a good idea at some point."

"Get out." Sam said in anger and exhaustion. "I'm not going anywhere until things are settled here. You've won... so just get over yourself, and out of here."

"Giving me orders? Oh the arrogance of an exorcist. But without your Father Pavel here, you're no threat to me." 'John' said, laughing. He watched as Kaylie gave them a wide berth and ran to the car. "And how is your pretty little girlfriend, anyway, Jack?"

Jack lunged forward only to be held back by Bobby Singer, arriving a split second before the man could attack the demon and start the downhill cascade. He could only hope that Sam and Dean had enough sense to think before acting.

"What the hell do you mean how is his girlfriend. Have you been stalking my brothers?" Sam asked with a frown. "You breaking deals, Dad?" He said the last word sarcastically.

"Our agreement was that you keep away, and I leave your brothers alone. You never said anything about girlfriends." The demon purred and it was Sam that laid the first blow.

"You know that was a deal breaker." He said

"No... no... " he said laughing quietly. "You are the one that pointed out the letter of the law not the spirit of the law with your covert messages, and trip through America's police archives. This is all on you. Like everything else that happens to your family. It all comes back to you, doesn't it Sammy?"

"You shut your mouth." Dean snarled and had a restraining hand put on his chest. Bobby's hand.

"Dean. Think." Bobby said.

"Of course, Dean. Stop and think. It would be such a shame if I had to kill you now. What with your daughter waiting at home for you. But you two know a lot about waiting for your father, don't you?" The demon said with nearly a smirk. "Not as much as he does." He nodded at Jack. "Wondering why Daddy didn't love him enough to come for him, or even call him. Send a card, something. He died for Dean. Sacrificed everything to keep Sammy safe...you sure got the raw end of the deal, didn't you Jackie?"

"What would you know about it?" Jack said, his own voice almost an echo of the one the demon was using. "Then again, you couldn't hold on to him anymore than the rest of us could. I've heard he was in heaven kicking back with their mom."

"Yeah, too bad yours couldn't make it. She isn't dead you know. trapped in some rock somewhere. Believe me if I could find her I would arrange for such a family reunion. Especially now that my boy here has pretty much declared it open season on you Winchesters again. So tell me Dean, was it worth it to see him again, knowing what it's going to bring? Knowing what I am going to do to all of you?"

"You're not going to do anything." Dean said. "You're not going to touch us."

"Or you'll do what? Cry?" The demon mocked.

"Maybe. Humans tend to do that." Ben said from behind the demon. "But declaring open season on MY family, you know better than that." Kaylie had come to Dean's in a panic. Not quite sure what was going on, but recognizing Jack's urgency. Ben had a feeling, and came straight away. Could he kill a Fallen? No. Could a Fallen kill him? Unfortunately, no. But it would be one hell of a Mexican stand off.

"Your family?" He said. "You don't have a family." The demon turned to face Ben. "You have a list of promises and a list of secrets and you keep them. That's all you do, it's all you are. An accident of creation. Neither fish nor foul and you are no Winchester, so go on about your mourning over the dead bitch you were fool enough to touch."

"There is a funeral going on here." Bobby said. "Why don't you boys step out side before you break out the tape measures?" He said as though he were speaking to a couple of unruly drunks.

"Good idea." Ben said and walked outside. Dean fixed the demon with a hard glare and brushed past him outside. His wife's wake was not going to be disrupted by this son of a bitch.

"Come on." Bobby said with a sigh, shaking his head as he urged Jack and Sam outside. Ben lit a cigarette as soon as he was outside. Taking all the self control inside him not to really start a war, calling his own deceased wife a bitch. "What are you doing here?" Bobby demanded of the demon. "Rubbing salt in wounds? Don't think right now anyone notices."

"They will later." The demon said. "Amazing how the truth comes out, isn't it?"

"You speak of truth?" Ben spat. "The very word gets twisted in your mouth."

"It's the way of demons. Even those like you, born of a woman. You twisted the truth around that boy's head so tight, I am amazed he is still such a Winchester. John might be in heaven, but what a sight to look down on. His three sons. The failure, the demon and the wannabe. Then again I suppose they are all failures in their own unique ways."

"Shut up." Jack growled.

"What are you gonna do about it, little boy? Cry for mommy?" He asked with a grin. "Or maybe Daddy. He wouldn't even look at you, would he? Couldn't stand the sight of you because you were born of a demon whore. Pretty pathetic one at that. Couldn't even manage to twist John Winchester into a knot with his boys lives in her hands. "

"You're still pissed even you couldn't twist and kill John." Bobby said. "He's dead because he let you kill him. Big difference there."

"He was dead the moment I killed Mary." The demon said smugly. "I just gave him an out. His mother was nothing but a whore to scratch an itch with. He thought he might live for the other two, but they were such disappointments. Now they're all just toys for me to play with. Sam made sure of that, didn't you?" He chuckled. "Sam, always the good son. The smart one. The law abiding one. The one with real balls. The other two couldn't possibly measure up, and he wasn't even really John's son."

"Now I know you are full of shit." Sam said. "Or delusional. So go home already. Don't make me break out the ritual. Three of us here wouldn't enjoy it much. Although Ben and I might manage to hang on through it just to see the look on your face."

"Don't mind Sam. He still holds pretty little Jess against me. He'll get over it." The demon laughed. "Then again... who knows looks like a pattern here. John couldn't save Mary, Sam couldn't save Jessica... Chavi died on ole Dean here- probably just anxious to get away from him and the squalling brat... gotta wonder though... if Kaylie is gonna be the one... the one that lives. Or is she just going to be another notch in my proverbial belt?"

"You had nothing to do with Chavi." Dean said through clenched teeth.

"You sure about that?" The demon said. Sure, he hadn't. That had been an act of nature, pure and simple. But why let one of John's boys off the hook?

Jack struggled against Bobby, but the hunter had no small amount of experience keeping people and things put when he wanted them put. "You stay away from her, you lying son of a bitch!"

Sam sighed, and pulled the rosary out of his pocket and wrapped it around his han. "You had nothing to do with Chavi." He said produced a well worn book and opened it. Not because he didn't remember it, but because there were ways to do things. "Sorry Ben." He said as he made the sign of the cross then looked into the eyes that mimicked his father's eyes. "Last chance..." He offered the demon.

"Still trying to be the good little Winchester boy. You aren't Sam, you're a demon and every word you read burns like hot coals. Did your priest tell you why? Because God has turned his back on you and all things holy reject you as well."

Ben took over holding Jack back. He knew when the younger man was flamingly angry, and this was one of those times. "You better hope these three don't figure out how to kill you." Ben said. "Because then they'll be gunning for you instead of the other way around."

"Such threats." The demon said. "I'm surprised at you Ben. All your stance on neutrality. You think by doing a few good deeds here and there you can buy your way into heaven? Or that it will buy your beloved's way out of hell?"

Ben wasn't bound by any promise where the demon was concerned. And whatever bargain Sam had struck with the demon, didn't apply to Ben. So he felt no trepidation on slugging the son of a bitch. Besides, he had the best chance of making good contact, he existed in this world, but not at the same time. And watched with a smirk as he knocked the demon on his ass. Because in human form, even as ghostly as it was, the demon was bound by the laws of physics. What goes up must come down.

"Do it, Sam." Ben said. Bobby knew what was coming and took his flask out and tossed it to Ben. Might help if he could fortify himself first.

Sam smiled slowly. "All creatures have a chance at redemption, And no one is sent to hell for love." He told the demon before he began to read the ritual. It burned, but it was a pain Sam was accustomed to, a pain he could bear. His voice resonated with the ancient words rising in pitch as the yellow eyed demon yelled profanity against it. He took his own flask from the breast pocket of his suit and twisted the cap off with a practiced hand and sprinkled the holy water at the appropriate times. Droplets hitting his fingers, and blisters rose.

"You know nothing, boy. You are just making this worse. I will rip the flesh from their bones before your eyes. You belong to me, Samuel. You are mine!"

"Shut up." Ben said, venting all the pain the exorcism was giving him. Pain he would have rather not relived at any point in his long life. But he vented it into rage against the demon.

Dean and Bobby joined in with the parts they knew, Bobby knowing more of the longer ritual than Dean. But Dean saw the blisters and took the flask. He could sprinkle holy water as well as anyone. With a howl, the demon disappeared. Or maybe dissipated and vaporized was a better word. Not that he was truly exorcised, not by a long shot. But he'd been suitably convinced this was a fight for another day.

Sam took several deep breaths before putting things away. "Damn that gets harder every day." He said. "Sorry about the discomfort there." He said to Ben. "But we should be able to finish the wake in peace, however. " Unless he retaliated right away but he doubted that would happen.

Jack was instantly on the phone to Kaylie. "Baby, you alright?" He asked her, as she answered Dean's home phone.

"No problem." Ben said with a groan. "Let's just not do that again for a while, okay? I'd rather be stuck in a walk in freezer."

"I'm fine." Kaylie said. "I'm feeding the baby. Jack, what's going on?"

"An unwelcome demonic visitor wearing John Winchester's face. But he's gone now. They made him leave. You have the windows and doors protected right?" He asked. Glancing worriedly at Ben. He wasn't liking this at all but there was nothing he could do about it. He didn't figure anyone was particularly happy about it all.

"Of course." Kaylie said. "This is Dean's house after all. Salt and brick came standard. Look, I gotta go. Mary's starting to, well, smell. I love you and be careful." She said. Demonic visitors to a wake, and not the good demonic kind either. The kind that made Jack usher her away in a panic were never good.

"Well, anyone else had their fill of family bonding the Winchester way?" Dean asked as he examined his brother's hands. Because checking Sammy over for wounds was an old habit.

"Coulda done without it." Ben said, taking a long pull off Bobby's flask before handing it back.

"Dean, I'm fine. I'm used to it. Just a blister." It was nothing compared to the pain that came with the ritual. Or for that matter communion that he planned to take the following morning. He didn't look at the pain as a rejection of himself, but a rejection of the evil within. Every blister, every moment of pain was a little more of the evil eaten away even if for just a little while.

"Yeah... Let's go and reassure the visitors and pay our respects properly. Kaylie is in the middle of a diaper change... you are so going to owe her." Jack told Dean.

Dean chuckled a little. "Yeah I know." He said as they made their way in. The wake went quietly, everyone assuming the new widower had needed some air. Wasn't unheard of. Of course, people always chose to see what they wanted to see. And when it was finally just Dean, Sam, Jack and Bobby in there (Ben having decided to stay outside and chainsmoke) he looked at his brothers. "Could you, I don't know, give me a minute? I'll be out in a minute." He said, leaving his brothers to approach his wife's casket.

Sam walked with the other men outside. "Go on and wait. I'll make sure he's okay." Sam said as he stepped into the darkness, watching his brother. Not so much to see how he handled saying good bye but to make sure there were no further attacks. He knew they would be waiting for the next oportunity to appear, to torment them before swooping in for the kill.

Dean sat by the casket for a long time. He was silent, because he didn't see the point in talking to a corpse. He just thought. And thought. Silently, as the tears poured down his cheeks, unnoticed by him. He didn't notice them at all, so he didn't bother to wipe them off. Of course he also thought he was alone. He definitely wasn't out in a minute. He didn't move until the funeral director politely told him it was time to close. They had already delayed closing by a good chunk of time. Dean looked at him nearly in surprise, as if he didn't know where he was at first, then nodded, taking the tissues the director had offered discreetly and wiping his face. He blew his nose and threw the tissues out.

"I'll see you as soon as I can." He whispered to his wife, kissed her forehead and quickly left. Before he thought better of it.

Sam exited the home, reappearing behind a tree, making a show of being on his cell phone. It wouldn't do for Dean to know he had been spied upon. That hadn't been Sam's reasoning. He had never been more grateful for a small child's existence howerver, because in those moments, if there had been no Mary... there very likely would be no Dean.

He closed the phone and walked over to the others. He didn't ask if Dean were okay, even though not so very long ago it would have been the first words out of his mouth a hundred times a day. There was no need to ask the question he knew the answer to. Dean was not okay, he was not alright, he was not fine. And there was no reason he should be.

"Hey." He said, as he joined them. "Want me to drive back to the house?"

"Yeah." Dean said and handed over the keys. Ben found his own way home, and Bobby looked at Jack.

"Come on kid, you can ride with me. This way I know where I'm going." He said. Since Kaylie had taken Jack's car back to Dean's already.

Jack nodded. He figured his brothers needed all the time alone they could get. But he was still leery of it all. "Okay. That works. Nice to finally meet you." He told Bobby, watching as Sam took the keys and walked with Dean over to the Impala. "So... you don't mind if I pick your brain do you?" He asked.

"Nope, go ahead." Bobby said as he led the way to his rental car. "And we've met. You just don't remember. I think I remember you drinking pretty hard at Dean's wedding." Bobby said with a chuckle. "Surprised you found your way home after that one."

"Kaylie drove me home...and almost drowned me in the shower after that sobering me up." He laughed a little sheepishly. "Wow I got a tongue lashing from her over that... wondered why Dean was so pleased with me after that. " He shrugged. "You see... Dean has this view of my father that goes back and forth between him being a saint and martyr to him being a cold hearted son of a bitch depending on how much he is missing Sam and how much he has had to drink. I guess I wanted another opinion. I also understand you knew my mom before she went completely psycho." Jack had no idea he was getting into the car with one of the original 'bad men' one of the hunters that had very nearly taken his life, and had driven his mother to make the bargain in the first place.

Bobby looked at Jack and started the car. "Better give me the long way directions." Bobby said as he pulled out of the parking lot. "John...he wasn't a simple man." He said. "I didn't know him before his wife was killed, didn't meet him until a few years after that actually. By then the hunt for the yellow eyed bastard demon had pretty much consumed him. But he was a good father, he did what he could with what he had. Those boys, especially after your mom kidnapped them the first time," since Jack seemed to want honesty, "had to know how to protect themselves. With everything after them, to do less would be killing them. Maybe he put too much on Dean, expected him to grow up faster than he should have. He was probably wrong to make Dean Sam's primary caretaker. To get him into the hunt as early as he did. But he did what he could with what he had. Your mom...Jack, honestly I never liked her. I found her to be a self righteous bitch in the best of times. Way before she went evil. Always had to be right, had a temper on her as wild as any storm under the ice princess facade she tried to fool us with. Then again, there might be a reason why I'm a cranky old bastard. But John, he liked to work with her. Even before they started, well, you get the picture. You were born after all."

"Mom... was opinionated. Even at 6 I could see that." He said with a faint laugh. "She didn't go after them the first time to be cruel... not the first time... after that I guess she was consumed by something. My only memories of my father are of him standing at that window... refusing to look at me... telling me to call him John. " He said. "I don't know how I feel about his parenting skills. I'm trying to be open minded. Guess I can't say I figured he was a bad parent. You can't be that way with kids and get the kind of loyalty that he has from Dean. He might have put up with a lot from himself but he wouldn't have forgiven anything done to Sam. It's because of our father that Dean is that dependant on him, isn't it?"

"Your dad was a marine. He took responsibility seriously." Bobby said. "His boys were across that wasteland because of him. And they were the only reminder he had of the man he used to be. A man he liked a lot better than the man he became. He wasn't ever abusive though, get that thought out of your head. Not to Sam, not to Dean. You...well, I'm not sure he was convinced you actually existed then. And not some illusion made by your mother to hurt him. Your mom sprung you on him, he had no idea you were even there until she brought him back, wounded, possibly dying. And he knew the life he was giving Dean and Sam wasn't the best, it was just the only one he had to offer." He breathed out at the last question. "Yeah, it is. Got chewed out for that one too by Amos, an old Indian I introduced John to. He, ah, well, John didn't think he had a choice, not with what he knew about Sammy."

He nodded. "Yeah. I understand." Didn't make it any easier. Still didn't change anything. He supposed nothing would. "So...what do we expect next from this demon? So nice of him to crash the party." Maybe talking about his father wasn't a good idea, but damn seeing his face like that. Hearing his voice. How was he to not focus on it at least a little.

"This demon...killed Dean and Sam's mother. Killed Sam's girlfriend. Killed a lot of other mothers of other children like Sammy. Possessed John and tortured Dean nearly to death. Then arranged for the car crash to hopefully finish them off." Bobby said. "Made John choose between his own life and Dean's. He's a nasty son of a bitch. Had some of his more smoky children going around killing friends of ours." Pastor Jim. Caleb. "What can we expect from him? Anything you could possibly imagine and worse. This is a war your brothers are in. Just by association, you're being pulled into it."

"That started after the trial. When Kaylie was taken " Jack said, told Bobby to turn left. "Gonna make a stop by a liquor store. I think Dean is out of Tequila. I think it's going to be one of those nights. There isn't any way to stop the bastard or John would have done it long before now. So we just what... hang around and watch Sam torture himself with attempted exorcisms until they succeed in getting through?"

"Well, Sam we can handle. Djinn bindings work on ones like Sam, and your mom." Bobby said. "As for the big pain in our ass, well, I know of only one thing that will kill him. A gun, strangely enough. But John traded that for Dean's life also. So we're back to square one on that one. I'm working on Sam's half. Got a friend working on it, hopefully he'll come up with something. And we'll need tequila. Tequila, whisky and beer."

"Working on something to save Sam? It seems like it's too late for that. But what do you mean Djinn bindings. Is that what they did to my mother? Bound her into something like a djinni in a bottle?"

"That's exactly what they did. Then Ben took her someplace that even if she manages to crawl out, she wouldn't be able to find her way back here." Bobby said. "That wasn't your mother anymore. Your mother had ceased to exist, that's when Ben took you wherever he took you."

Jack sighed and leaned back against the seat of the car. "I know. That's what I have been told by Ben. That it wasn't her anymore. But it's words, you know. It's an abstract concept that someone isn't themselves anymore. It's something you say when people go insane, but it's not true. Still the same person. Do I want her back? Not as she is. I don't think Dean would want Sam back all the time the way he is now, either. But it was my mother. Here's the liquor store." He said.

"Sit tight, I'll get the booze." Bobby said and pulled into the liquor store. He came out a short time later with two bags full of bottles. "I know how Winchester men drink." He said with a chuckle. "Just to be clear, we didn't know you were in the house." He said quietly. "My brother and Bill Harvelle, they'd done the research. The recon. They said Maggie was alone, and maybe it was our fault for trusting them. But they paid for that mistake. The rest of us have too." He thought of his brother dying in his arms long ago. Of how John was punished, though he had nothing to do with it really, through Dean and Sam. How he continued to be punished knowing that he had another son out there that he couldn't see. Even Ellen and Jo, completely unrelated to the whole thing, uninvolved as anyone could possibly be, were punished.

Jack felt his chest tighten. This was not what he had expected. He had never expected to see one of the bad men, had never thought of them as anything more than an abstract concept. Yet here he was face to face, hell sitting in the car with, one of the boogey men from his childhood. "Wow." He said and swallowed hard. "I didn't realize that you... ahm... wow."

"Yeah." Bobby said and put the car back into gear. Nothing more to say on that subject. "So which way to Dean's?" John would have been proud of this one, Bobby was sure. Seemed to have a good head on his shoulders, and a lot of guts on top of that.

Jack gave him directions, all the while comparmentalizing what was going on with him in that moment. He had spent his entire life hating the abstract of this man. But the man himself... it was hard. "You know... the family business as Dean calls it... sucks ass. Seems like it does nothing but cause alot of misery on both sides. That whole no good deed goes unpunished crap...on both sides."

"Yeah, it does." Bobby said with a nod. "But Dean, he doesn't see it that way. He sees the people he's helped instead. Don't know if you've noticed, but your brother's priorities are a little skewed. As in skewed away from himself. Thinking like that, I'm still surprised he hasn't gotten himself killed yet."

"From what I have heard he has a few times, but someone always comes through to save his bacon at the last moment. Sam, John... too bad you guys don't come with insurance. Life, health, malpractice." He said with a faint smile that he didn't feel. It was a lot to process. His life had nearly ended because of this man. Because of some stupid careless mistake in research of all things.

"Yeah, well, no carrier will cover us. Don't think I haven't looked into it." Bobby said with a chuckle as he followed Jack's directions until he pulled up in front of Dean's house. The Impala was there, and an even older Impala (Jack's rebuilt remade courtesy of Dean car). "So far so good, everyone seems to have made it back fine."

"That's good." Jack said as he got out of the car, taking the booze with him so Bobby could take his luggage in. "Hey, " He said as he entered the house, scanning the room for Kaylie, to make sure she was there and fine. Her abduction in the past had almost killed him. He couldn't bear that again.

"She's in the bathroom." Ellen said, coming out of the kitchen. She had seen Jack scanning the room for someone, had to be his girlfriend. She was the only one not in the room right now. "I'm Ellen Harvelle. Shame to meet under the circumstances. My daughter's in the kitchen, I put her to work on the dishes. I, well, I knew your mom. And your dad for that matter."

"Ellen runs a roadhouse we've stopped by." Dean said, playing subduedly on the floor. Well, waving a brightly colored bear over his daughter's face at any rate. "Ellen, that's my brother Jack."

Jack extended his hand to the woman. Harvelle. Bobby had mentioned a Bill Harvelle. Had to be related. Well if this wasnt a day from hell he didnt know what was. "It's nice to meet you. Hopefully the memories of my parents aren't being held against me." He said with a laugh. He could cover. He could. He didn't have to show how he was feeling about all of this. Today wasn't about him and his issues. It was about Dean.

"Honey, I just run a bar." Ellen said with a laugh. "Your father was a pain in everyone's asses, God rest his soul, and anyone who tells you different is on a hallucinogen or lying. Your mother, well, my direct memories of her are fond. We were like family once. Come on, give me the bag. I know a thing or two about booze."

You wouldn't have known that Jack was tense until he relaxed. He handed over the bottles. "Bobby said we would need a lot. We run out I know where else to go. Ben owns a strip club and I have keys to the storage room."

Sam chuckled at that from his position on the floor. "Yeah that would be amusing. Sorry Ben, raiding the club to get a bunch of hunters drunk."

"Tax write off." Ben said, "Then I'd just charge you all for them is all." Being in a room with this many hunters was weird. And uncomfortable.

Kaylie came out of the bathroom. "Jack!" She said and went over to him. Sure he'd called her after that demon disappeared. But he was still the last to arrive. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." He said as he closed his arms around her. "No one got hurt except for a little blister on Sam's finger. We're good. How about you?"

"I'm fine." She said with a sigh of relief. Today was a tough day all around.

"Get a room you two." Dean said with a laugh as he cracked open a bottle. "I can honestly say there are now innocent virgin eyes watching you."

"You see more than this on Disney." Jack said laughing as well. God he needed a drink. He seriously needed a drink. Well at least there was one person in the room with fond memories of his mother. He would have to talk to her later. Take some of the curse off of the memories he had. He was playing it cool as far as Bobby was concerned. There was remorse for his pain there. But none for his mother. Never mind it was that moment that she had been lost. Sacrificed herself for him.

Jo came in with some food, Ellen rationed out the booze. She knew how hunters could drink. And though she didn't know Jack at all, if genetics held...well, she knew how John could drink. And quickly led everyone into a conversation that could come no where near Chavi, or hunting or anything of that sort. It was difficult, but she didn't run a road house for nothing.

"Okay, Jo and I are going to head back to the hotel." She said as the hour grew late. She embraced Dean. "Sweetie, you and that little girl are going to be all right. I promise." She said. All Dean could do was nod. "Sam, honey, I don't know what you're going through, but it'll work out."

"Thanks." Sam told her with a smile. Ellen wasn't in the know. Not really. She wasn't stupid but she and Jo weren't on the need to know list, either. "It's good to see you again.. Missed our talks."

Jack handed the keys over to Kaylie and pushed himself to his feet. Oh yeah... definitely not driving anywhere. "Yeah we should get home too. "

Kaylie laughed and helped Jack the rest of the way to a standing position. "Yup, time to pour the boyfriend into bed and hope he doesn't drunkenly snore." She said.

"Hey, that's what you get for the whole living in unabashed delightful sin." Dean said. "Right, Sammy? You're the Catholic now. You tell me."

Sam laughed. "Yeah I think snoring is one of those natural consequenses things, still have to do penance for that one."

"Snoring is purgatory, Hell is when he pukes on her." Jo said in parting as she and her mother headed out the door.

"He wouldn't dare." Kaylie said. "Would you? Oh god, do you have to sleep on the couch tonight?"

Dean laughed. "Crazy kids. Bobby, you grabbing a bed?" He asked as Bobby nodded and grabbed his overnight bag to throw into one of the guest rooms. Dean nodded to Sam. He wasn't stupid, that drunk, or that out of his mind. They were afraid of reprisal, so Bobby and Sam were sticking around. "I can pull out the air mattress and you guys can crash here." He said to Jack and Kaylie.

"Why don't we put the mattress in the nursery? Or are we pulling the crib into your room?" Sam asked. Personally he wanted to be right where Dean and Mary were. He trusted the others to do their best but he was the one that had the best chance of getting between the demons and Dean. He wasn't planning on sleeping until after mass the following day. He was used to lack of sleep now. Side effect of the job. Insomnia was pretty common in the slow times.

"Nah, she's sleeping with me." Dean didn't move much in his sleep, never really had. The one time when the perpetual motion machine was motionless. His father used to joke that he was just recharging his batteries. And newborns didn't move much either, so they were fine in the bed. He could keep a much closer eye on her that way. "So, seriously, guys, you two can crash here."

"Go ahead and take one of the guest rooms. I'll keep watch tonight. I don't sleep much anymore. " He grinned at Bobby. "Comes with the territory. Sad thing is I can still be out done by a septigenarian. Did he tell you I passed out after our first exorcism. 5 days... we fought that thing for 5 days straight. I don.t make it out of the room. He gets me tucked in at the hotel, orders room service, takes a shower and goes to bed like any other day."

"That's because you're a wimp." Dean said as he gathered up the baby. He went into his room, came out with a big shirt for Kaylie and sweats for Jack, since they were still in their formal wake clothes. "And I'm serious man. No sex. If I'm not having sex in my house, no one's having sex in my house." Oddly, it wasn't a painful thing to say. Because even if Chavi had lived, he wouldn't have gotten laid for about six weeks anyway.

The night, as well as the next few days passed uneventfully. At least demonically. Sam kept watch, did his best to help his brother through this, but it was rough. Especially when they could sense the time was coming for Sam to leave. He had stayed as long as he could, but that morning at mass, he found it painful to even cross the threshold of the church. It was then that he knew his time was coming to an end. And it was time to leave.

He entered Dean's house and gave Bobby a look that said everything. "Can ahm.. you give me a few minutes with Dean?" He asked.

"He's in the garage." Bobby said, who had been relegated to babysitting. But she was sleeping in her bassinet and he was watching NASCAR so it wasn't that big a deal. Sam nodded and headed through the house to the connected garage, Bobby watching him with sad eyes.

It wasn't his professional garage, but Dean needed to keep busy right now. So he was under the Impala changing the oil. He heard the door open and slid out from under it. "Sam, you're back early."

"Yeah, mass didn't work out this morning." He said. "So ahm... I ... wow... " He swallowed hard. "I have to go." He didn't want to leave him. He was days, maybe hours, away from eternal darkness, and he didn't want to leave his brother. He shouldn't have come. "I've got this job I have to go do. I hate to go. I really do."

Dean sighed. "Yeah, I know." He said. He should be used to it. Everyone left him eventually, right? "It's not a job, is it?" He could still read Sam. And he wasn't blind to what he was seeing anyway. "Then you should go." Because I haven't figured out a way to save you. Because I let myself get sidetracked. Forgive me. But that went unsaid.

"I know." He said, the tears welling in his eyes as he stood there staring at his brother. "I'm gonna leave some things here." He said. "The rosary is for Mary... My books are for you... I know you haven't retired. Who knows... the journals might come in handy. " This was really the end. He was going to fade into nothing. " I'm sorry." He said. "Go watch a sunrise for me every now and again, okay?"

Dean badly wanted to assure his brother that it wasn't over. Not yet. It wasn't over. But right now, it sounded like empty promises, a drowning man grasping for anything to save himself. His cheek twitched as he blinked away tears of his own. "No, I'm sorry, Sam." He said. What else could you say? He couldn't say 'behave.' He couldn't say 'remember me.' He couldn't say 'stop by for a beer sometime.' There wasn't anything to say. So he swallowed. "Maybe someday."

"Tomorrow. Take Mary out and watch it tomorrow... watch it through the window... watch it at the park... watch it from the front seat of the Impala. It doesn't matter, but watch it. " He looked at his brother, one last time and simply walked across the floor to the shadows and disappeared. Going to find his own sunrise, wondering if he could chase it around the world.

Dean was borderline unbearable for the rest of the day. He didn't say one word to anyone except Mary. And poured over documents. He called Ash. He called Joshua. Everyone he could think of. Bobby tried to call Father Pavel, but wasn't able to get ahold of him. For a very good reason.

Two days later, the elderly, hunched over, frail priest knocked on Dean's door. Bobby answered it, and Father Pavel took one look around. "I have come too late." He said mournfully.

Jack looked up at the man who entered. Sam's Priest. "Yeah... ahm... a couple of days ago he left again." Jack had been waiting for the man to return, because that was how it worked. He would go insane and cross over into shadows then all hell would bust loose.

"You must be Jack. Sam spoke of you." Not nearly as often as he had of Dean, but he had been mentioned. "I am Father Pavel. I was...stuck in Rome." In the Vatican Archives, which held so many secrets the world couldn't even dream about. But one of them had panned out. He'd parted ways with Sam so he could enter into his research, in a place where, no matter how well intentioned Samuel was, he could never follow. Because of the darkness. "Perhaps we are not too entirely late."

Dean came in, washed his hands, and saw the strange priest. "Sorry, Father, I don't donate to organized religions. Try next door, they're real Bible beaters I hear."

"And you must be Dean." Father Pavel said with a slight smile.

"This is the priest Sam talked about. " Jack said by way of introduction. This entire situation was bringing up far too much baggage of his own. Baggage he kept buried for Dean's sake mostly. Hard to cry on a guy's shoulder about your missing mother when she was his first torturer.

"Pavel." Bobby said, following in after Dean. "I've been trying to get a hold of you for days. It's good to see you."

"I wish I could have arrived earlier." Pavel said as Dean gestured he could sit down. He carefully took off his coat and his hat and laid them next to him, setting his battered suitcase at his feet. "I did receive your messages, Robert, but I could not come until now."

"About what?" Dean said. "My brother? He's gone. And you know why."

"That is right, it is about your brother, Samuel." Father Pavel said, nodding. "I might have found the key to restoring his soul to his body."

"He couldn't go into the church the day he left." Bobby said. "But very definitely had a body." He pointed out and clasped Dean's shoulder. Hope was a double edged blade. He hoped it didn't bite his young friend in the ass this time but having the chance to try might actually make all the difference.

"It's possible to do that?" Jack asked, shaking his head slowly. He wasn't up to dealing with this. He had nothing against it all coming together for Sam in the 11th hour but the fact that Bobby was so excited... the man who had wanted to kill his mother before her soul had ever started to decline...was overjoyed at bring Sam back from the depths... had been working from the beginning to save him... it was insult to injury, even if he did want Sam back as much as the rest of them did.

"It is." Father Pavel said. "Though it's only been done once before successfully. It's...nearly a reverse exorcism, to put it in layman's terms."

"Okay." Dean said, carefully. Careful to not get his hopes up too high. "What do we need?"

"A nice group would be nice. A way of luring Samuel to a secure location." Father Pavel said. "And of course, luck."

"Secure location. How secure are we talking?" Jack asked, sucking it up yet again. One more time just suck it up and forget. It was years ago... she was long gone, just suck it up and forget. Cause Winchesters had so much luck with that in the past right?

"Devil's trap work on him? Cause I can tell you he is too strong to hold down with a few leather straps." Bobby told them. He didn't know where to go with it. "Can probably spot weld a few chains in place that might hold him for a minute or three, don't know about a trap though.. not until it's too late. Then he'll be looking for us. Sam is an impatient one."

Dean was thinking. "On it. We put him on it." He said. "We'll use the garage, cover the place with traps. Is blessing chains to hold down Sam covered in your god given authority, Father?"

Father Pavel nodded. "It is. They must be strong chains. Perhaps etched with symbols in their own rights." He opened his suitcase and pulled out a worn portfolio, taking out ancient papers. "Please be careful with these, I have to return them."

Jack stood up and went to look over Bobby's shoulder as he laid out the papers to look at them without handling them overly much. "okay, the chains I can manage in probably by this after noon if Dean doesnt mind sacrificing a few heavy duty tow chains" He said "Question is where to anchor them that Sam cant destroy with a dirty look. "

"We anchor him in the pit." Dean said. "Hopefully all the traps, and get the ritual started right away, he'll be...weakened...enough." This was going to hurt his brother. He knew it, could nearly feel it himself. And he was going to be doing the hurting. "I'll wash them out with holy water before we lay down the trap markings." Oh god, that was going to burn.

Jack looked at Dean. "It's alright. If it brings him back... if it has a chance of bringing him back... he would gladly take the pain. I don't need to know him well to know that. He wasn't going to mass and performing exorcisms because he enjoyed the pain. He was doing it for a chance. This is his chance... and it's your chance for closure no matter what happens. " He knew how Dean was feeling. He knew that look of guilt and horror that he tried to hide.

Bobby looked up then. "And you can't back out. No matter how much Sam seems to be in pain, no matter how much he begs or accuses. You're his anchor in this world and you have to be front and center. " He warned him.

Dean took a deep breath. "Got it." He said, nodding. Because there really was no other choice.

"Your brother may not survive this." Father Pavel warned. "It's always a chance."

"Sam would rather be dead anyway if this doesn't work." Dean said. Of that he was sure. Sam had begged Dean to kill him before, when he wasn't all...like he was now. "I can do this. No backing out. We're going to get this done."

"Good man." Bobby said. "Now, Any idea on how to get Sam into a position to chain him down in the first place? All the resolve in the world won't amount to a hill of beans if we can't get him pinned down." He said as he began to sketch the symbols he was going to put on the shackles on a napkin.

Jack pulled out his cell phone and called the one man he knew that could possibly pin down Sam long enough to put him in the circle in the first place. "Ben... you're gonna kill me but I have a favor to ask."

"I hate it when you start a conversation like that." Ben said. "Do I even want to know what this favor is? And how much am I going to want to kill you?" Ten to one it had something to do with one of his brothers.

"Oh probably enough to be willing to buy my head stone." Jack said honestly. He knew how much Ben hated to be involved. "We have a possible way of being able to put Sam's soul back in his body. Trouble is we need someone to go get him, and bring him back... hold him down long enough in a created holy place to shackle him." Oh yeah Ben was going to want to kill him. But Jack couldn't not ask. Dean needed it.

Ben was silent for a moment as he moved from the outer club to his office, locking the door behind him. Processing this. Nephilim, holy ritual, holy places. "And this is the only way they've come up with?" He asked quietly. It was quite possible Jack didn't understand the full metal of what he was asking. And he'd hate to have to tell him.

"Yeah... it is." He said. "Apparently it's a long shot as it is. But either he comes back to us or he dies before he ..." Jack's jaw clenched. "Before he turns out like my mom. He has people that give a damn enough to find a way even if it is a long shot." Unlike his mother. "Had to .. had to ask... I understand... I really do... so if you can't do this... or if it's going to be too dangerous for you... I understand." He did. He didn't really want to ask, but he couldn't not at the same time. "Wow this is insane."

"It's completely insane." Ben said. "And some people gave a damn, they just couldn't do anything about it. Call me when it's time to get Sam. Then you'll see why." And he hung up the phone. This would be...painful. And he'd need to prepare. By drinking massive amounts of booze.

"Ben? Wait-" He frowned into the phone. "Damn it... okay... I am a newbie here, and therefore don't get a lot of this... esoteric religious demon vs. hunter vs god thing...so someone want to fill me in on why Ben is sounding so horribly resigned about doing what I just asked."

"You asked Ben?" Dean said. That thought hadn't crossed his mind. He was thinking more along the lines of a lure, but each one he thought of was rejected. He looked at Bobby, who shook his head.

"May I ask?" Father Pavel said. "Who is this Ben?" Sam might have mentioned him, but Father Pavel was human, he couldn't be expected to remember everything.

"Ben...ah..." Now how to explain this to a priest? "He, ah, raised Jack here, after his mom was...lost." Bobby said, tactfully. "He's, well, he's not quite human. I don't know the whole story on him, but I know he's, well. He's part demon. Part enough to travel in flame, do freaky things with flame, and look damn presentable for his age."

"He is half demon but he isn't one of the bad guys. He doesn't go around eating people or tempting them... well ... unless you count owning a strip club as an act of evil he is pretty much neutral. But definitely demonic. They aren't all bad you know." Jack said the last rather firmly. Not wanting Ben outed and suddenly hunted by those that didn't have the sense to know that it mattered if they were evil or not.

"Child, I am an exorcist and a priest. I do not 'hunt'." Father Pavel said, reading through the lines quite nicely. "It is not my place to judge who is bad and who is good. That is far beyond me. I help where I can, possession is inherently evil. This does not sound like a possessing demon." Dean nodded at that to confirm it. "But he is demonic. Which means the presence of holy idols, symbols and words will not be pleasant for him."

"Not pleasant... that's a euphemism for hurt like hell. Is there any chance it will kill him too if it goes wrong? Or if he is in there too long because even I know that if those circles are gonna trap Sam... they will trap him?"

Father Pavel was honest. "I do not know. This ritual has been performed once, and never in my lifetime. Possibly never in this Ben's lifetime." Everyone, human or demon, was 'this person' until he met the person face to face. It was just his way. "If you do not mind, perhaps I can discuss the ramifications of this with this Ben face to face?"

Jack shook his head, not in refusal but in rejection of all that was going on. "He's only doing this because of me. When he gets Sam to the site... you have to find another way of getting him in there." Jack said heading into the kitchen, going straight for the Tequila.

"He's right." Dean said. "We gotta think of another way."

"There might not be another way." Bobby said. "And I say that if Ben wants to do this, we let him. Cause we could use all the help we can get."

"You guys don't get to take my dad too." Jack said not realizing how he said it. John was his father but Ben had been his dad. Ben was the one that had tucked him in at night, Ben was the one that had saved him from his mother, Ben was the one that had always been there. John hadn't even wanted look at him. "I want to help Sam. I will do what ever it takes to get it done and pull him back from this. But I won't let Ben sacrifice himself for someone he doesn't even know. Not just because I asked him to do it and that's the only reason he is. There has to be another way to get him into that pit."

"And I said we'd figure something else out!" Dean shot back. He'd heard Jack. And on behalf of John, it hurt. Logically he couldn't blame Jack, he supposed. But man, it was like denying the one connection that made them a family. But like everything else, he shoved it to the bottom with everything else. So he started pacing. "There has to be another way."

"I don't think there is." Bobby said.

"That's because you're not thinking." Dean snapped. "Okay, okay. How about me as bait?"

"If he's that far gone, he'll rip the meat off your bones and we still won't have him." Bobby pointed out.

"Oh yeah that's good. That leaves Mary without a father. It's not the getting Sam that's the problem." Jack said. "Ben will do that and I don't have a problem with it or I wouldn't have called him. It's the jumping into the pit to be tortured that is the problem. How do we get Sam into the pit once Ben brings him back? Is there anything that can be done to knock him out?"

"I don't know." Dean said. "You'll have to ask Ben. Because he's the one that took on your mom. Twice." He reminded Jack. "Out of everyone involved, if anyone knows how to fight the type of demon Sam is becoming, it'll be Ben."

Jack scowled at that one. "Yeah.. when she was a demon." He pulled out his cell phone and called Ben once more. "No it's not time." He said by way of hello. Didn't want him thinking they were ready. "You might wanna be in on the planning of this. You wanna come on over, please?" He asked. He didn't want to deal with this. Didn't know if he could deal with this. It was too much to expect.

Ben sighed. "And I was starting to have fun." He said dryly. He hung up and flamed into the room. Which did catch Father Pavel by surprise, but Ben ignored the elderly man. He could...feel in a way...that he was a priest. "What exactly are we planning? I said I'd find Sam and drag his sorry ass back. Any hold up is on your end."

"We're just making sure here." Dean said. "We're a little concerned about this means for you, if you get stuck in the pit with us."

"Really?" Ben said, eyeing the priest.

"Yes." Father Pavel said honestly. "Your son tells me you are one of those who is able to make a choice. That is a rare gift. We would like to avoid bringing anymore harm to you than absolutely necessary. I understand you have fought a nephilim before?"

"We all have a choice. Just most of us choose the so called evil side. Because no matter what we're hunted, exorcized, ostracized. The dark side, they don't try to kill us as much. Plus, usually the pay is better." Ben said and Dean rolled his eyes. "But, yes, I have. I can take down Sam, that's no problem. I told Jack that."

"The problem arises with getting Samuel into the space for the exorcism. The only way to hold him there would be binding circles. You would be trapped with him."

"So there has to be a way to knock him out or something so that you don't go anywhere near that damned pit." Jack interjected. He wasn't going to allow it. No. There was no way it was going to happen.

"Jack," Ben said in what was a gentle tone for him. Calm, without any sarcasm or rancor. "Nothing in that pit can kill me, no matter what they put in it. I've been through exorcisms, priests have attempted to banish me from existence. I outlived them all."

"That isn't the point." Jack said. "And you don't know that. He said that the ritual had only been done once before, and it obviously wasn't on you. It's a reverse exorcism they were saying... God only knows what that would do to you... literally God only knows. They have to consecrate the ground... just being there is going to be torture."

"Reverse exorcism? Will horribly fail on everyone in that pit except for Sam. Because everyone else in there has a soul already. Only room for one, really." He shot Father Pavel a look. "Yes, I have a soul, and yes it's mine."

"Can you knock him out and throw him in?" Dean asked. It would hurt like hell, but it was something.

"Sure. And chance that he doesn't wake up half way through the throw." Ben replied. "Where's the tequila?"

"At which point he rips Dean to shreds slowly and painfully." Bobby interjected.

"There is another answer. We just aren't seeing it... But you guys have to get that pit prepared, the rest of us can debate what the hell to do once we get Sam here that doesn't involve death or torture." Jack said, wanting Bobby away from him at the moment.

"It's going to be torture for everyone in that pit." Father Pavel intoned solemnly. "Demonic or human. Because Sam's body will fight the return of his soul."

"Great." Dean said. He looked at Jack. "First thing's first. We get Kaylie to babysit at your place. Keeps both Mary and Kaylie away from this."

"Right...well... come on." Bobby said to Dean. "I gotta get to welding those chains and you have a pit to clean out and make ready to be blessed. And that's just the begining. Sam doesn't have time for us to be standing here debating on if it's going to hurt or not."

Jack glared at him for that. "I'll keep an eye on Mary until Kaylie can get here to pick her up." He said and pulled out the ever present cell phone once more.

"Let me know when she gets here. You know me, I'll have a list of instructions." Dean said with a weak smile. But Bobby did have a point. His professional garage had to be cleaned out, the cars moved out, the tools moved out, the pit scraped and cleaned.

Ben nodded to Dean and found the tequila himself. "Here we go." Ben said and started drinking. "Should I even be here when Kaylie comes?" He asked with a chuckle. Kaylie could be a firecracker when she wanted to be, and this whole idea wasn't going to go over well.

"Hell yes, someone has to protect me from her, and Dean has work to do." Jack said honestly. "So who else are we calling to come in for this anyway? Shouldnt we get that moving so that they can get on the road?" He asked "Hey, honey, we need you to watch Mary for a while, can you do that?"

"I'll call Ellen. Ash, Joshua, some others I know." Dean said with a sigh, getting out his cell phone and started making calls as he packed Mary's diaper bag with every conceivable thing Kaylie might possibly need.

"Why? Boy's night out?" Kaylie teased as she finished her shift. She had taken an early afternoon shift, so she was just counting her tips right now. "Watch porn and wish women with those measurements really did exist?"

"Nah, that lost it's appeal when Ben hired Candy. You know the one with the back trouble." He said, teasing out of habit more than anything else at the moment. "Sam's priest arrived. He has a ritual that might be able to save him. We need you to watch Mary while we get everything set up and ... and while we perform the ritual."

"Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. We? We're performing a ritual? You mean the metaphorical we because you're not going to be near that, are you?" She said, counting her tips was now the furthest thing from her mind as she went to her car and closed the door so no one else would hear her. Especially given the nature of the conversation. "Baby, I love you, but are you absolutely nuts?"

"Yeah... to the nuts part. But I mean we as in Dean, me, a priest that reminds me of your great grandfather, and a bunch of hunters I really don't want to know, are going to try and save my brother. " He had to remind himself that Sam was his brother too sometimes. It was just that he didn't know him. Had met him so rarely and only once before the darkness had settled in. The Sam Dean described was so different than the one he knew. He hoped Dean's Sam could be retrieved. He could learn to like and probably love that Sam. The demonic son of a bitch that abandoned Dean at the drop of a hat... he wasn't so fond of.

"My great grandfather was a born and raised and died rancher who screwed any cowgirl he could get his hands on." Kaylie said off handedly. "Look, I know you want to help Dean. But stop and think. This is the same guy who you told me not to be alone with. Not even for a millisecond. Because he was that dangerous. And you're going to try some ritual on him? And I'm supposed to be okay with this? The same guy your other brother, who we know, was nearly tortured to death over?"

"No, you aren't supposed to be happy about it. Not at all...but it's something I have to do." He said honestly. "Come on over, we'll talk while we pack up Mary for you to take her home." Jack sounded tired. He was very tired.The sort of emotional tired that came of years of pent up emotions bubbling to the surface. Dean had lived in fear of Maggie as a child. When reminded of her. When she would arrive and turn his life upside down. Jack had lived in fear of Bobby even if he hadn't known it was him. Always afraid of the Bad Men. The boogeymen that were waiting to drop a house on him, or invade his home and force him to hide in the darkness with a fallen angel for safety. Hell was, he liked Bobby as an individual. And that messed with him in ways he didn't think anyone he knew would understand.

Kaylie made it over there in record time. Dean made a strategic retreat to the nursery with the baby, everyone but Ben evacuated, matter of fact. Ben didn't because he knew he'd be pulled into it sooner or later. Less yelling for Kaylie to do.

She came in, taking off her waitress apron as she closed the door behind her. "You wanted to go on a hunt with Dean for Sam. I was...all right with that. But I am NOT okay with this." She said point blank.

"I'm not asking you to be okay with it." Jack said. "But I'm not asking your permission either. I know it's dangerous. I do. But it's going to happen and I am going to be there. We can spend our time arguing about this or we can spend our time supporting each other in this. Up to you, baby. But I'm doing it."

She looked at him, and the impact of what exactly he was saying hit her. She looked down at the carpet, because she was NOT going to cry. "That is asking a lot of me. You have to know that. Last night we were going to get married, have half a dozen kids, and grow really old. Now, you're telling me that I just might have to bury you and I just have to deal with it."

Ben looked at Jack. Shit, the kid sounded so much like his mother at that moment. It was nearly scary. He looked, and thank whatever higher power gave Dean a pearl of wisdom, Dean wasn't there.

He looked at her a moment and stepped closer, gently pushing the blond hair from her cheek. "I know. But it's family. Even if I don't know him...haven't learned to care about him, it's family. It's the chance to get rid of the monster in side him... to... do for him what no one even really wanted to do for my mom." He sighed. "I have to be a part of it."

The tears spilled from that simple touch. "I hate this." She said honestly. "I don't understand any of this. And I am so scared." She'd spent enough time around the house as Ben and Dean would trade 'war stories' to know the inherent danger. "But if it comes down to you or Sam, baby, please choose you."

"I don't know that it will come down to that. I don't know how long this will take or what have you. It's kind of a reverse exorcism. Shoving Sam's soul back into his body. It sometimes takes days to chase a demon out, from what Sam had said during tiier hunter pow wow when he was here. I can only imagine it will be the same to chase a soul back in. But you can't let yourself think that I won't come out of there. Because I will, and we will start making solid plans on getting married, not just some day. Never know what life's gonna throw at us. Don't have time to wait until it's convenient, you know."

Kaylie sniffed and managed a smile. "So does this me you're finally formally asking me?" She said. Ben had to chuckle at that. They'd been talking hypothetical for years.

Jack chuckled a little. "Yeah... I am finally formally asking you. I have the ring... but it's back at home. Didn't plan on this being how I finally got up the nerve to do it. " He said.

"Okay. I promise not to look for it." She said with a laugh. "And I'm finally, formally, saying yes." Good distraction, on his part. The worry was still there, oh boy was it still there, but the anger had finally dissipated as she kissed him.

Dean figured that was a nice safe time to come back in. "And here I thought Mary would be the maid of honor." He said, the baby in her car carrier as he collapsed the portable playpen.

Jack held her close to him for a few moments longer. "Nah, we gotta get married otherwise how are we going to give her any playmates that understand how her daddy isn't really a complete nut job. He just sounds like one."

"Ha ha. But I'm a COOL nut job." Dean said. "All things being equal, any drop of Winchester DNA kinda negates that whole sanity thing."

"Yeah I kinda noticed." Kaylie said with a sigh. She kissed Jack once more, and moved to take Mary. "Come on, kiddo. Let's go watch some chick flicks and forget that your father and uncle are completely psycho, okay?" She looked at Ben. "I can't believe you're condoning this."

"I'm not condoning anything." He said. "Just the chances for success are better if I help." Success meaning, to Ben, Jack not getting killed.

"Yeah, the funny thing is that the Winchester raised by a demon is the sanest one of the three." Jack pointed out "Although right now that is debatable since I am getting into that hole with you."

"Yeah, definitely makes it debatable." Dean said with a chuckle. "Okay, be a good girl." He said to his daughter. This was hard. This could take days, a week. Any amount of things could go wrong. But he couldn't live with himself if he didn't take this chance while he had it. That driving force deep within him wouldn't let him turn his back on the only chance he had to Save Sammy. He wondered if he should curse his father for the driving force, or thank him for the balls to do it in the first place. "Okay." He said and slung the heavily packed diaper bag and then a carry on onto Kaylie's shoulder. "Formula. She likes it room temperature, not hot, not cold, room temperature. But if it's out for any more than two hours, chuck it and start a new one. Diapers, cream, powder, wipes, all in there. Outfits, toys she likes, music I got her addicted to, her blanket, and a few stuffed animals. Playpen, another blanket for on the floor. After she's fed she's gotta be walked, not rocked. And if she can't sleep, take her for a drive with all the windows open."

"Dean. Dean. I got it." Kaylie said. She'd laugh, but she wasn't happy with Dean right now.

Bobby watched the scene playing out before him and wondered what John would make of it all. He liked to think his old friend would be proud of the two young men before him. That he would be proud of the fight that Sam had put up over the last two years. And it had been a hell of a fight. He had Father Pavel's word on that. Bobby was no fool. He had been keeping tabs on Sam's progress, and ... decline. He wondered how different the world would be if John had been able to deal with Mary's death a little better. He had a feeling it might not be as safe a place.

"I'll take those." Jack said reaching around to take the heavy bags. "Got the car seat ready to transfer?"

"Yeah, the base is in the Impala." Dean said as they walked out. "I swear, Kaylie, any reckless driving and I'll hire a girl to beat you up, got it?" He said as he retrieved the base from the backseat and put it in Kaylie's car.

"Whatever Dean." Kaylie said. But she smiled at Jack, her shoulder felt a lot better without what had to be nearly all of Mary's possessions hanging off it. "Just give me the baby, so we can go."

"Kaylie, I mean it." Dean said.

"Got it." Kaylie said as she took the baby. "We'll be fine. I promise."

"Dean, come on... walk away before she puts the baby down and has a hand free to deck you with." Jack suggested "Only so long I can distract her with kissing you know."

"Then you're not doing it right." Dean said with a chuckle. But Jack was right, maybe not about Kaylie decking him (maybe), but that the sooner Mary was away from the scene, the better Dean would feel. "Come on, we've got a pit to clean. Been meaning to do it for at least a month anyway." And he led Jack away as Kaylie pulled out (quite responsibly too) and headed back to the house she shared with Jack.

Dean and Jack headed into the garage, where everyone was working. "Hey, where's Ben?" He asked.

"He said to 'move your asses, I'm bringing the prodigal son back.' His words, not mine." Father Pavel said as he carefully drew on the walls.

Sam stared at the house and watched. Sarah. Probably the only woman he had kissed in his adult life that was still living. So beautiful... so accepting and open. She had been one of the few bright moments along his road. One that he had thought of often. The one he had left behind, one that would have taken him anyway. It wasn't love. He didn't know if he could still feel that any longer. Didn't care. It wasn't love he was after as he watched her move through her home. It wasn't sex either. not really. He wanted her the way most people would want a pet. Something living and breathing and dependant upon him to own and keep to himself.

"So what do you say, Sammy?" Ben said, appearing behind Sam and whispering in his ear. "Burn the house down? Pin her to the ceiling? Or maybe, just maybe, take her hostage and break her. So many options for creatures like you. So little time. She is mortal, after all."

It hadn't been hard to track down Sam. Oh, there were a few misses, a few near misses, a few near catches. But when Ben was in tune to the demonic world, not many could hide. Especially some snot nosed wet behind the ears but still human in a way nephilim.

Sam slowly took a step forward and turned to face Ben. "Not in the mood today, Ben. You should have killed me before this point. It's a little late now. Go on back and spent what time you can with John's bastard. He's somewhere on the list." He knew it would piss the demon off but he didn't care. What was left of his humanity hoped it would be enough to drive him to kill him before the body faded, but the rest of him reveled in the darkness, and the near invulnerability it allowed him.

"I'd watch your tone, kid. There are worse things than death." Ben growled in a low tone. "But it must suck to be you. Playing all peeping tom and I come to ruin your little adventure. That the best you can hold against me? Jack? I raised him, I did right by that kid. But he's a grown man now. My promise was kept. Oh, wait. That is the best you can use against me. Because everything else is anecdotal comments you might have heard off hand. Go ahead, tell me my wife is burning in hell. That's the only other thing you could say to distract me. Because you can't read my mind, you can't sense my feelings, I'm just a big thick granite wall to you." Maggie had had things to say, because she knew him. She'd talked with him. Sam didn't have that leverage.

"Your wife isn't in hell, Ben." Sam said. "She is in heaven. Of course you'll never get there to join her. Don't you think it's time to just get over it already? Pretty pathetic for someone your age." He said, eyes glowing faintly, A slow smile played across his lips as he tossed the demon across the street, and into a parked car, setting off the alarm.

Ben flared right back into Sam's face within the blink of an eye. "Again, that the best you can do?" Ben said. "Please." He didn't possess telekinesis. But he was abnormally strong. And Sam's body was still human. So he decked him. "You gotta get quicker on the learning curve, junior."

"Why is that Ben? Here to kill me? Bigger demons than you have tried." He said phasing into the shadow he lay upon and reappearing behind Ben, delivering a sucker punch to the back of his head.

Ben went down, then back up. This little shit wasn't going to best him. Even if he passed out after he threw him into the binding trap. "You still don't get it." Ben said, grabbing Sam and sliding to a shadow world. Because he was more experienced fighting there than Sam was. By centuries. "By the time you do figure it out, it'll be way too late for you. Just between us, I look forward to standing over your battered corpse and pissing. You've caused me enough headaches."

"I didn't tell you to take in Johns brats." Sam said going insubstantial to escape Ben's grasp. It was easier in the shadows to become one with them. "Or pay for their schemes. That's all your own doing."

"Yeah, yeah." Ben said as the area erupted into flames. Hard to find a shadow if everything was lit brightly. With light that danced, swayed and moved. Unpredictable. And every time Sam was forced from a shadow, Ben was there to assault him. "Keep saying that, Sam. John's bastard, John's brats. He was your father too as much as it must burn you to admit."

"He was just the sperm donor. The horse my father rode in on" Might as well admit it. Revel in it. He was the child of a fallen angel. One of the princes of Hell. Who was John Winchester in the light of that? A mechanic. Who couldn't get past the rank of corporal in the military. A man who had raised and loved him. Taught him to be strong. Then left him in the dark to face what was coming. "John Winchester isn't my father. Not now.."

"Oh, we're playing that game now?" Ben said, slamming Sam again. If this ritual worked, Sam would be in some serious pain. "Then how about Jessica? Or even Madison? Were they just whores for you to entertain yourself with as you waited for your transformation? Playthings to be cast aside and forgotten about? Used and discarded?"

With that, Sam roared and actually joined in the fight, adding his own flames to what Ben had to offer. No one spoke of them. No one. Martyrs in the war that had always been Sam's life. Beautiful, warm, beacons of light and compassion in a world that didn't deserve them, or the sacrifices they made. "You think fire is going to hurt me? Think a little heat is going to waken this body? " The two men fought, Sam, limited by his lack of experience with his powers and Ben, by the fact that somewhere along the way he was supposed to bring the little bastard home. The battle raged in the umbra, their flames deepening some shadows, eliminating others, but eventually Samuel tired. Eventually he couldn't continue the fight because, as much as his soul and sanity were being eaten away his body, was still there. His humanity hung heavily over him while Ben's did not.

"Fire?" Ben laughed. "You fight me with fire? I was born of this!" He said and knocked Sam out cold. Then Ben cracked his neck and picked Sam up, heading back to Texas. Appearing in front of the garage. "Incoming!" He shouted as he threw Sam into the pit where Dean and Jack were waiting.

Jack moved quickly to pull Sam toward the chains, relieved that Ben was having nothing to do with this part of it. His heart pounded in his chest and he looked at Dean to be sure his brother was ready for this, not that there was any choice. Not now.

Sams eyes opened and he growled lowly pulling away from Jack and Dean. "You should have killed me while you had the chance." Both of his brothers were shoved away from him by an invisible force, pinning them against the wall. "I was going to be nice and give you a little more time with Mary but if you want it this soon... where is the little angel anyway? Let me guess, with the next Winchester casualty... someone else has his eyes on that one."

Ben hadn't gone into the pit. Because he knew what it would mean. It would mean he couldn't get out until it was all over, one way or another. But then Sam decided to go after Jack. And that was not allowed. The threat against Kaylie, Sam didn't even try to veil it, was another straw to break his resolve.

So in he went. Knocking Sam around enough to break his grip on the boys, seeing them slouch to the floor out of the corner of his eye. He grabbed the chains, burning his hands, but he grit his teeth and restrained Sam. "I told you to watch your fucking mouth." He growled. He looked at Dean and Jack. "Do it."

"No... get Ben out of here. The chains will hold long enough to do that. Get him out of here. " Jack said.

"They can't do that." Sam said and laughed, inspite of the pain coursing through his body. "They can't let him out without having to redo everything... so what's it gonna be Jackie boy... your brother or your daddy... the brother you hate, or the daddy you wish really was so that he won't leave you. "

"If I hated you, I wouldn't be here." Jack countered.

"Oh come on. Tell the truth and shame the devil. " He said as he sat up shoulders twisting out of joint to allow him the manuverability. "You're here cause you know if you fight it and Dean succeeds, he'll ditch you for me and be gone in about 3 seconds flat... baby and all. Hell he just might do it anyway. So what's the plan Jack... flub a line here and there? No one could blame you, you aren't an exorcist. You aren't even a hunter. You're a demon lover... if Kaylie had horns it would just make the package more perfect, wouldn 't it? Maybe a little bit of a tail... or are you a bat wings and a push up bra kinda guy?"

"I said watch your mouth." Ben said and decked him. "Jack, do it. There's no choice in the matter. We end this now, or he comes back after you guys. I'll be fine."

Dean couldn't believe this was his brother, all that was coming out of his mouth. He winced as he heard Sam's shoulders pop out of joint. "Bobby!" He called up and Bobby threw down a bottle of tequila. He handed it to Ben. "Sorry, man."

"Yeah, I know. Just get going." Ben said and started drinking. He'd need it.

The brothers looked at one another and then at the priest, before the three of them took their places and began the ritual.

"You can't save me, priest, there is nothing to save. Pesky old soul is gone... gave it up so Dean could go and fuck up his life with out dragging me along for a change. Let me go and we'll call it a night. I owe you for the teaching. That and cutting down the competition. "

Dean looked up sharply at that. But it wasn't the yellow eyed demon who had saved him. With a breath, Dean decided to hold onto that nugget for a minute or so as he talked over Sam. Chanted and recited. He had years of experience in talking louder than Sam after all. Father Pavel likewise ignored all the talk. This wasn't comfortable for demons, they'd say anything to get any speck of release and reprieve.

Ben stayed out of the way, but even this early it felt like a million knives were hitting him. Cold knives at that. So he just kept drinking and hoped this would be over soon.

"I promised I'd save you, Sammy. And I'm going to." Dean said as he made the sign of the cross over Sam's forehead with his thumb, dipped in holy water.

Sam cried out and twisted his head away, blisters forming on his forehead. "Save me? Dean... you're just going to kill me. But that's what Dad wanted, wasn't it? For you to do what he couldn't. What he wasn't man enough to do. Hell, I don't think you're man enough to finish it either. People always say I'm the soft one but they're wrong. You're the one that can't make it on your own. You never could."

It was like a sucker punch to the gut, seeing the blisters form like that. But Dean took a deep breath. "You're right." He said to Sam with a shrug. "But the good part is, I don't have to. Oh, you left out that I'm the better looking, more charming one too." He said as he patted his brother's cheek then stood back up and nodded to Jack. Had to keep going.

The priest rained down holy water, chanting and canting with a voice that belied his age and diminuitive appearance. Never faltering, never stopping. At times he seemed to not even need air. Chanting in a language even older than Latin, he was going to restore this soul. Not even the devil himself could stop him.

Jack fought through the process. It was a learning experience for him but he kept going. Doing what he needed when he needed, and looking over at Ben when he simply wasn't actively needed. Ben didn't wear his pain as obviously as Sam. But then Jack was sure that normally Sam didn't either. This was the demon he was becoming lashing out at Dean. His guardian, his protector, the one that was the true heart of the ritual, and Sam wanted that heart broken and broken fast.

Sam cried out and struggled for Dean's benefit, for hours he screamed until his voice was hoarse, then laughed sharply and began to cant the Rituale romanum backwards, his voice rising in pitch and volume like a well seasoned exorcist.

"Wrong ritual, child." Father Pavel said calmly to Sam as he lit the holy incense. "You cannot stop it, but you fight it anyway. Causing so much harm to those around you that care for you. In the hopes of stopping us? The more you resist it, the harder we fight for the Sam that we know. I am sorry for the pain, but it is of your doing."

Ben covered his mouth and nose, the blessed incense smelled like a dead and dying skunk to him. But then again, this whole thing wasn't easy on him either. Dean looked at Ben, then he looked at Jack, and regret was clear in his eyes.

"Jack...I can't have this thing passing as Sam come back for Mary. I just can't. I want my brother back, and I have to protect my daughter. I'm sorry." He said. And he was. But it wasn't going to change his plan.

Jack nodded, taking a drink of water in the lull. "I know. I understand. But we're gonna have a talk about some things once this is done... all of us... about a lot of things. If this family is going to work."

"Aww are we having a bonding moment?" Sam asked choking on the incense, his eyes burning, red rimmed. "Or is this where you tell him that you can't go risking everything you care about for everything he cares about... which was pretty much me until that kid came along. Look at the bright side Dean, once I get out of here you will have all your eggs in one basket. Just won't know where it is but you are used to that, aren't you? You two are perfect for each other really. Someone gets 10 feet out of your reach and you are sure you are abandoned. " He laughed, coughing again and the laugher turned into a growl. "Nobody loves me everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms." He sang in a lilting mocking tone. "Oh wait... it'll be the worms eating you."

"Shut up, Sam." Jack said with Sam saying it with him. "Son of a bitch." Again in unison then Sam laughed.

"You do a good impersonation of Sam." Dean said, shaking his head. Block it out, block it out, block it out and focus. He kept repeating to himself.

"Are we ready?" Father Pavel said, allowing the younger men a break, but they needed to keep up the momentum. "Then let's continue." He said as he stood at Sam's feet and started the ritual again.

The brothers nodded and they went back to work, those standing around the pit above adding their efforts and reciting the ritual prayers as directed. Everyone was exhausted by the end of the first day, and well into the second most of those above were losing hope. Jack refused to give up however. He wouldn't allow Dean and Ben to go through this preview of hell for nothing.

"He's been through worse. Quit you're whining about it." Sam said, genuine exhaustion in his tone. "For fuck's sake I can hear you thinking. Bad enough without the constant bitching in that head of yours. Grow up, Mama's boy, give the rest of us a break."

"Sam, shut up." Dean said, but even his voice was starting to lack the growl it had gained half way through. But he kept pushing forward. If the old priest could do it, he could do it. He'd do most anything for Sam regardless.

"Now there's an idea." Ben mumbled from his corner. "Don't worry, Jack." He said with a wink. "I was in one exorcism that lasted two weeks." Exorcisms could only evict a soul that didn't belong there, not one that did, which was why they'd never worked on him. At least never as intended. They couldn't get Ben out of the pit, they'd tried. So they sent down every blanket they could find. Ben liked heat, and especially now, every last degree of it helped. Also helped hide the blood and other injuries.

Sam however liked the temperature cold. Or at least liked the effect that keeping the pit literally frosty cold had on those around him. The old priest's words formed puffs of smoke in the chill of it all inspite of the heat of the Corpus Christi summer.

"It's going to kill you old man... you know that. It's going to rip that soul right out of your body to do this. "

"I know." Father Pavel said and smiled serenely. "But I have a strong soul." Ben was working on bringing the ambient temperature up, and it got up the room temperature at least. He could not wait until this was over. He really couldn't. Father Pavel looked at everyone. "We will take a five minute break." He announced. There were human needs to attend to. Bathroom. Food. If they were to last, they had to take small breaks where they could.

Sam tugged at the chains as though in boredom, but the flesh around them was blistered and bleeding. Even if he survived this it was going to scar him permenantly. The holy water had left blisters and welts across his body. Sam was pale, and his breathing was ragged. The mortal body very much in distress and nearing the point of complete exhaustion. "Hey, don't forget me down here." He said. "I have needs too." He waggled his eye brows.

"Will you shut up?" Ben snapped. "I, for one, don't give a fuck about your needs. Once they're done, then you can have your needs taken care of. Just do me a favor and shut the fuck up. I'm unrestrained, remember." He just couldn't get out of here.

Outside the pit, eating fast, Dean looked at Father Pavel. "How much longer?" He asked. "I don't know how much more Sam can survive."

Bobby came over and lay a hand on Dean's shoulder while handing him a bottle of gatorade. "There is no way to know that. But there is a part of Sam still in there. He hasn't tried to kill you since this whole thing started. Something deep inside is restraining him better than we could. " He didn't like what he was thinking, but it was what he had been afraid of from the beginning. Failure would mean death. "Go talk to him. Not to the demon he is becoming but... go talk to Sam. He's giving up. Don't let him."

Dean sighed and hopped back down into the pit. Gave Ben another bottle and sat down besides the restrained Sam. "You thirsty, dude?" He asked, he had the bottle of Gatorade with him. He'd treat Sam like Sam until told other wise. But Sam wasn't allowed to give up. Because what everyone else was going through, Dean wouldn't let it be for nothing.

Sam looked up at him a moment. "Yeah." He said quietly. "But keep it. This has to end, the sooner it ends the better." Sam's body ached. His soul ached. Or what was left of it anchored in his body. His mind was spasming between wanting to be whole and real again, wanting to die, and wanting to rip everyone within his line of sight into very small very blood pieces. But always there was Dean.

"Come on, Sammy, you gotta drink something." Dean said, raising Sam's head and holding thebottle to his lips. "Because I'm not giving you your soul back only to have you die of dehydration. Just hold it together, a little longer. Just hold it together, man. Please."

"I was going to hurt her." Sam said, drinking a little only because to do other wise would be to choke. "If he hadn't stopped me... I would have hurt her... I was going to hurt Sarah. Let it end... don't risk any more of this... or any one else... He can't do this and survive it... I won't have that on my conscience. Let me die."

"You and Dad never once let me die." Dean pointed out. "This was his idea, you know. Came all the way back from Rome with this in his suitcase. Whether we help him or not, he's doing this. ANd I'm doing it. Because you are not going to die,you hear me? You're not going to die. We're going to fix this."

"I feel like I'm flying apart. One moment I'm me and the next I'm this monster and I'm not possessed... this is what I am ... Dean... we have no way of knowing how long this will take, or if it will work. I made the deal... it's what I wanted to do ... it's okay... just let it go."

"I'm not letting it go, and I'm not letting you go." Dean said. "Dammit, Sam, I wish you would have told me about this deal a lot sooner. He didn't hold up his end of the bargain. It wasn't him that saved me. It was me, and my own...well...totem. The demon had nothing to do with any of it. He did nothing to save me, or fix me, or stop me from dying. There's no deal to uphold."

Sam looked at Dean for a moment, so many emotions playing across his face. Relief, outrage, horror were the simple ones. But emotions are never really simple. Nothing in life is simple. Most especially not when it involves a man's slowly fading soul. And body. "I will kill him.'" He said then, his voice deep and resonating. Which was impressive coming from a chest that faded in and out of existence in that moment. "Do you hear me you sorry son of a bitch?" He roared, knowing that the yellow eyed demon couldn't be far away. "I will pluck out those yellow eyes and eat them for breakfast!" He pulled against the chains, bound in place inspite of his fluctuating substatiality.

"Later." Dean said. "Later we'll kill him. Right now, I need you back, Sam. So with whatever's left of you in there, I need you to hold on. And I need you to fight. Because you can't cross over, that's giving him what he wants, what he tricked you into agreeing into. So we're going to fight. Because it's the first thing we can do to piss him off."

Father Pavel lowered himself carefully back into the pit. "It's time to continue." He said. "Are you ready, Samuel?"

Sam looked up and nodded. "I'm ready." He swallowed hard. "I'm sorry." He told the aging priest, knowing what this was costing him. "Can't talk you out of this, can I?" He didn't want to lose his friend. Even if this was what the man had known was coming his entire life.

Father Pavel smiled kindly and patted Sam's cheek. "It's quite all right, child." He said. "I do not mind, I could not think of a better reason if I tried." He straightened up. "Let's continue. The day grows late."

Jack tucked the blankets around Ben, managing to smile a little as he pushed himself to his feet once more. "Yeah, our local friendly demon population is looking a little worse for wear. They both need this to be done as soon as possible."

Bobby watched on from above, wishing there had been another way as well. ANY other way. But life had a way of playing itself out. He turned his attention to an exhausted Ellen. "And here you thought you had retired." He said moving back to his position.

"Yeah, well, one can hope." Ellen said as she straightened up, finishing her coffee in one giant gulp.

"Oh yeah, hope this finishes fast." Ben mumbled. RIght now, in this moment, he didn't feel like he was being pulled apart. That would change as soon as the priest opened his mouth. Not all the screams were Sam's after all.

The priest looked at everyone, then started. Continued. Leaning against the wall for support. He knew this would be the last ritual he would ever do. Then, he'd retire. Of course, most exorcists only retired one way, and that was the way he was going.

"No!" Sam screamed knowing what was happening. Knowing it was going to happen and watching it happen were two different things. It was like finding his father on floor again, it was losing someone else that he cared about. "Not for nothing... not now... not yet... oh God." He said in a hoarse whisper, his head falling back to the floor of the pit, eyes closing as they filled with tears, dark inky tears. His form becoming more fluid, shadow then slowly solid, each transition taking longer than the last.

Father Pavel kept praying, falling to his knees as he chanted the ritual. He was gray, and soaked with sweat, but kept going, until he was nearly lying on the floor. Then...nothing.

"Father?" Dean said. "Father?" The old priest was on his knees, bent foward so his forehead touched the floor, his arms outstretched. Dean went over to him and rolled him onto his back, where sightless eyes stared at the ceiling far above him. "Oh no." He said. "No, no, no, no."

"He's dead." Ben mumbled from his corner. He could nearly feel the exorcist's spirit leaving.

Jack moved quickly to Sam. "I think we're losing him too. Dean... we gotta come up with something quick." He said, checking Sam's vitals during the times when he was actually substantial. "Or we are going to have one hell of a pissed off demon on our hands instead of a soggy brother."

"Boy," the voice said, "the bond... you must renew the bond."

"What the fuck?" Jack asked his own head almost spinning around like a refugee from the set of The Exorcist.

"I've got a monopoly on pissed off demon." Ben said, using the reprieve from the ritual to drink. He didn't think anything of the voice, thought he must be drunk or something at this point.

"The bond. Right. The bond." Dean said, and left Father Pavel's side and looked around the pit. He thought the voice was in his head, not realizing that Jack heard it. "Okay, okay." He said. Finally he found a shard of metal from where one of the chains had busted. He went back over to Sam. "Okay, here we go." He said and sliced Sam's palms while he was solid. "Your blood..." he said, then dragged the shard over his own palm until there was a nice, deep, bleeding cut, making him hiss, "my blood..."

Jack held his hand over to Dean's, before he could cut his other palm. Sam was his brother too. "Our blood." He corrected gently and waited for the cut to come. He wasn't entirely certain what he was getting himself into, but it didn't matter. These were his brothers. His family. Dysfunctional or not, they were his and he wasn't going to let either of them go.

Dean was surprised, a bit, but he nodded as he held Jack's wrist with his bleeding hand, and sliced the palm of his youngest brother. "Our blood." He agreed as he pressed his hand into Sam's, palm to palm, cut to cut, blood to blood, as Jack did the same thing with Sam's other hand. "Winchester blood, and it's the only thing that counts in this moment." He said firmly.

The bear roared as she appeared behind the brothers. "Welcome home, boy, " She said as she passed through the two of them and into Sam, taking the essence of both brothers with her as she went, grounding it into Samuel as she continued on through into him. "Welcome home." She repeated.

The garage was filled with a blinding white light. The ritual, the priest's sacrifice, the bonding of the brothers...all necessary to bring it to being once more. The purity of it was almost painful, as it concentrated around the brothers, eventually slamming itself into Sam, leaving everyone blinded in the darkness of its absence.

Time stopped, it seemed. Along with the absence of light, there was an absence of sound. Time, motion, everything stopped. Then sped up painfully as the outer garage door was raised.

A small contingent of priests, five in all, all in formal robes, stood there at the edge of the pit, looking down. Dean had to shield his eyes with his free hand as he looked up, seeing only silhouettes.

"Sam?" He said. "Sam? You with us?"

"Dean..." Sam said weakly, barely conscious. He hurt. By God he hurt so badly he almost couldn't bear it. "It doesn't burn any more." He whispered, slipping into unconsciousness.

Jack rushed over to Ben, finding him slumped against the wall of the pit, unconscious but breathing. "Thank God.." he breathed and rested his head against his foster father. "We gotta get him out of here, please break that circle... please."

"I'm on it." Ellen said, as she started rubbing turpentine along the circle, to remove the paint. Making a path to raise Ben out of and get him out of there. She'd never seen anything like that, a demon throwing himself deliberately into harm's way with no actual benefit to himself. She was still processing it. "Jack, honey, he's pretty heavy...we're going to have to winch him out." Clip the winch onto the blankets and lever him out that way.

The priests came into the pit and surrounded Father Pavel's body, praying and giving last rites as another came to Dean.

"We've arranged for a car accident down the road." He said softly. "We need to get him into the wreck and call an ambulance." All the while discreetly flicking the unconscious young man with holy water, and seeing it not burn or blister his skin.

Jack got the winch settled on a knot the blankets and watched as they pulled Ben up and out of the circle. He then turned his attention once more to Sam. "Dean... come on... let's get him undone. He has to get out of here pretty fast, he needs medical attention." He didn't have time to think about what had just happened. What he had done or seen or felt. He'd process that later.

Dean nodded and let go of his brother's hand to undo the chains binding his brother to the pit floor. Then they rolled Sam carefully to get another blanket under him and raise him out of the pit.

"I'll go to the hospital with Sam, get him settled and then I'm going to your place." Dean said, shakily, but strong. "Go with Ben, I'll send Kaylie over."

"We will clean everything up." Bobby said, meaning him, Ellen and Ash. "Place will be spotless by tomorrow."

"Thanks." Jack said. "Call me once you get him in a room." He told Dean then raced out of the pit and over to his car where Ellen was just fastening Ben into the seat. "It's okay." He told him even though he was sure he wasnt hearing him. "It's over. I will get you home and crank the heat up all the way... maybe even start a fire in the fireplace." He said as he started the car and began to drive. He had never seen Ben unconscious before. He had never seen anything that had been able to do more than piss him off before. Jack was scared.

Dean got Sam out of the pit and the priests took over.

"You cannot come. We'll plant his identification on him, with your number, and the hospital must call you." A priest said, gently leading Dean away.

"But..."

"Too many questions otherwise."

"How do you know my number?" Dean asked, eyeing the priest suspiciously.

"We know it. That's all you need to know. Now go home to your baby, and wait for the call."

Dean wasn't happy with that, but he was outnumbered. And too tired to argue. Shit was he tired.

It was more than an hour later when the call from the hospital came. "Mr. Winchester? I'm sorry to call you so late at night." The young woman on the other end of the phone line said. "I'm calling from St. Mark's hospital. Do you know a young man named Samuel Winchester? He has been brought into the emergency room. I'm afraid there has been an accident."

"Oh god." Dean said, instilling the right amount of panic into his voice. "Yes, I have a brother named Sam. Is he...is he all right?"

"The doctors are still with him." She said politely.

"I'll be right there." He said and gathered up the baby, barely unpacked from her days with Kaylie and got into the Impala, calling Ben's house and spoke to Kaylie.

"All right, I'll tell them. No, he still hasn't woken up." She said and went back into Ben's bedroom, where Jack was waiting for Ben to wake up. "The hospital finally called, Dean's going there to find out what's up with Sam." She said, sitting back next to Jack. At least he'd let her bandage his hand. They were both one step above being just in their underwear, and it was a short step at that. But they had the heat blaring as high as it could go, a fire in the fireplace, and Ben was covered in blankets and heating pads.

But Ben had explained to both of them that it was impossible for him to ever go to a hospital. He went once, and barely escaped dissection. Because he wasn't completely human, and the demon was right, it was an accident he'd been allowed to be born in the first place, he didn't have pulses in the normal places. His organs were in different places, or altogether missing, or just completely different from purely human organs. Not to mention his natural body temperature was much higher than even Dean's in his worst fever. So all they could do was wait.

Jack watched Ben worriedly. "He jumped in there to save me. " He told her, reaching out to touch her hand lightly. He wanted to pull her close but it was too hot. The temperature was steadily approaching 100 degrees. "I didn't want him in there. Didn't want him anywhere near that pit, but he dove right in anyway."

Kaylie reached down into the quickly dwindling pile of disposable ice packs and squeezed it, shaking the chemicals together. Then she rested it on Jack's shoulder and rested her head on the ice pack. Beacuse, damn, it was way too hot in here for them!

"I know you didn't want him in there. And I also know he didn't think twice about jumping in." Kaylie said. "Because he loves you. If he didn't he would have flamed away when you graduated." She knew Jack, she really did, and knew that was one of his biggest fears. But she also knew Ben, and his commitment to his obligations. Once they were fulfilled, that was it. He was done. But he wasn't done with Jack, though he'd kept his promise and raised him. And since no one could make Ben do what he didn't want to do, he stuck around because he wanted to.

"I know. And that's why he is in this condition. Because he loves me and I asked him to help. I can't help worrying that we are going to lose both him and Sam. Did you see how he looked when the priests took him out of there? " Sam had looked like he was on death's door. "Dean has got to be going insane. God I wish I could hold you right now but I think we would both melt with that much contact."

"Oh probably. Which is why when Ben wakes up, and we get the word on Sam, we're headed straight for some quality time in the walk in freezer at Ben's club." Kaylie joked. Though that did sound good right about now. "Jack, what exactly happened?" She asked, since she'd been watching Mary the whole time. Next thing she knew, Dean was coming in, looking beat to hell with a slice on his palm. She headed straight to Ben's, to find Jack looking not that much better, with a matching cut. Ben, well, she'd never seen him so much as ill before, so she was still processing that.

Jack took a deep breath and then began to explain it all to her from start to finish. He was sure the ritual would be emblazened on his mind for all time and eternity. "I still feel like this is something out of the twilight zone. My own brother was this evil thing. My God he was ... I've never seen anything so twisted except for the demon that came for you. All my life, I thought that Ben was the norm. That most demons were just like people, and just wanted to go on with their lives and be left alone, but that's not really the way it is. Ben and the demons he has let anywhere near me have all been the exceptions to the rule. "

Kaylie agreed that it was the weirdest and strangest thing she'd ever heard. Or even seen in some horror movie. Then she sighed. "Jack, you never come to realizations without coming to a decision." She pointed out.

"I can't close my eyes to it anymore. I want to help Dean. I know it's going to piss Ben off, and I don't want to, but... there is so much evil out there, actual gut wrenching evil... I can't ignore it or pretend it's all perceptions anymore. "

Kaylie closed her eyes and exhaled. She should have known something like this was coming. Somehow. "Can we...can we talk about this when Ben is awake and fine? And we know Sam is fine?" One thing at a time. She could handle multiple crises, but when one involved the love of her life going off on a hunting spree with her brothers (who she wasn't exactly convinced were sane to start with), that one had to be handled on its own.

"Yeah... we can wait. " Jack said. "I'm sorry. I know this isn't the sort of life you thought you would be having with me. It's not even the life I thought I would be having, but I guess it's inevitable. " He closed his eyes as well. "God I love you. I have to do something to be able to protect you."

"You can't protect me if you're dead." She said quietly. It was too hot to debate on whether or not she needed protection. She could, by, all rights, take care of herself. She could throw a punch as well as the next girl raised partly on a ranch. She was fairly articulate and had been known to talk her way out of things. She also knew when to run, most importantly. But it was too hot to get into an argument about that.

"Let's talk about all of this when we can breathe again." He said as he got up to go check on Ben again. "I want the whole family here to talk anyway." He needed things resolved. It had been two years and nothing was ever resolved. Well he needed that to change. He desperately needed that to change. He had spent too long living with the fear of losing his brothers utterly. The fear of losing Kaylie.

Ben groaned when the blankets were shifted and opened his eyes, wincing at the light a bit. "Okay, next person that loses their soul, they're on their own. Really." He mumbled and looked at Jack through half opened eyes as his eyes adjusted to the light. "Did it work at least?"

"Yeah... it did." Jack said. "Sam is at the hospital, the priests came to take away Father Pavel... who died in the process... and then they arranged for a car wreck for Sam to be found in, so not even a blip on the police radar even. Although how he is going to explain the burn marks around his wrists and ankles, I don't know. How are you feeling? Is it warm enough for you in here?"

"The Catholic Church is a master at conspiracies and cover ups." Ben said with a bit of a chuckle as he pushed himself into a sitting position. It was nicely temperate in the room. "Yeah, it's good." Then he laughed. "Which means now that I'm awake, feel free to run outside into the cold air."

"It's in the 80s out there, doubt it's cold to anyone but you." Jack said with a faint laugh. "Anything you want or need before we go and breathe for a minute or two?" He wasn't going to leave Ben until he was better. It just wasn't going to happen.

"Yeah, stop looking at me like you expect me to die. I told you that wouldn't kill me. Also my cigarettes...can't remember where I put them last." Ben said. But that whole day was hazy right now, as he had just woken up.

"Got it. Cigarettes and you're going to live." Kaylie said and took Jack's hand. A breath of air would be nice. And, probably, eighty degrees would feel cool right now.

Sam had gotten into an ICU bed, and Dean had to stop himself from laughing. It was one he had stayed in once. The doctors held out hope, but that was about it, and couldn't explain half the injuries, but said that could sometimes happen with car accidents.

Which meant they had no idea and had to try and sound smart. Dean saw right through it.

But he sat by his brother's bedside, with his daughter. His feet propped up on the end of Sam's bed as Mary drank from a bottle, oblivious as babies often were to what was going on around her.

"Come on Sam." Dean said. "Can't leave now. Just got you back."

Sam was aware. Not that he was conscious, but he was aware of what was going on around him. He had felt the holy water on his hand and had wanted to cry in exhausted relief when it didn't burn, had felt them move him to the car, had heard the EMTs speculating on what had happened to him, and whether he was even going to make it to the hospital in time. Was this what Dean had felt and heard every time he had been so close to death?

He moaned softly, trying to come to the surface again but his body refused to let him draw any closer than that.

Dean exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Any little response was a good response as far as he was concerned. "It's okay, Sam. Get some rest." He said, blinking back tears of relief and exhaustion. "I'm here, Jack's with Ben, he's going to be fine. Just rest and get better. You know how wiggy hospitals make me."

One burned and bruised hand came up to Sam's face. "Hospital... that's usually your place of residence."

"Doesn't mean I like it, dude." Dean said. "How are you feeling? Do you need something? Do you want a nurse? Me to leave the room and invite a candy striper in?"

"No... I think my world has been rocked enough for one day... week... how long were we down there anyway?" He asked, his voice ragged, whisper soft. "Oh god, something to drink would be good."

Dean poured him a glass of water, stuck a straw in it and held it for Sam. "Three days." Dean said. "Plus four days of Ben finding you, and the two day head start you got." He shook his head. "Thank god for Bobby, Ellen, Ash, and Jacob. They cleaned the garage up good, can't tell that it was ever used for anything but a garage."

"What happened to Pavel?" He asked before taking a drink of the water. "I know he died... he... he had to sacrifice himself for the ritual to work." Sam said and his eyes welled with tears. "What... happened to his body?"

"Priests swooped in. Set you up in a car accident, took the body." Dean said. "From what I've been able to find out, they buried him in a catacomb along side popes. They said when you're ready, you can go pay your respects." In Vatican City itself. Which meant Sam had to be more than ready, he had to be back fully.

Sam nodded. "He has earned it. I wish you had been able to get to know him. He was an amazing man. I learned so much from him." He groaned a little at a wave of pain but breathed through it. "I think I've turned into a wimp again."

"You were always a wimp." Dean said with a laugh. "Yeah, he seemed it. He blessed Mary, not a baptism, still working on that, but he blessed her all the same. He really cared about you. I'm glad you weren't out there all alone."

"It's a start. We'll get her baptized. " He smiled a little with cracked, dry lips. "I know. I wouldn't have made it as long as I have without him. He gave me the tools to fight it as long as I could, but I never really fought all the way. I was afraid to I guess."

"Well, that's why you've got brothers, right?" Dean said with a bit of a smile. "To push, shove and basically beat the shit out of you when you need it."

"Yeah...you covered all of that this time, didn't you?" He said with a weak laugh. "Trouble is, now you are stuck with me."

"Well, you were right. I don't deal with abandonment well at all. I like people in hearing, if not seeing distance. If they're not, I get edgy, cranky, pissed off..." Dean said as Mary finished her bottle. "Which doesn't bode well for this little one at all."

"Nah... she will be fine. Kids need parents like that... but Dean... those things that I said back there. It was ... I was... I don't even have the benefit of saying I was possessed. I was... well... pretty much a soulless bastard back there. I was trying to hurt all of you as much as I could. I'm sorry for that, and most of it wasn't true at all. if it was... it was twisted. You just gotta treat it like it was coming from a demon, cause it pretty much was."

"Sam, shut up." Dean said. "I'm okay. I really am. Maybe I'm not as...sensitive is the wrong word...as I used to be. But I'm good. We're good. That was evil freaky girlie purple eyed Sam. Not freaky long haired girlie Sam. There is a difference in my mind you know."

"Glad to hear it." He let out a long sigh. "Not sure what to do with myself anymore." He admitted. "I guess right now I lay here and pretend it's all good for a while. I ahm... don't think we have to worry about me turning dark again though. Not even if I continued doing exorcisms." He hoped. He would have to speak with one of the other exorcists when he went to pay his respects to Father Pavel to make sure. He didn't want to exorcise his way into hell.

"Dude, you just woke up. Really don't have to worry about what to do with yourself. What you're going to do right now is get better so we can get you the hell out of here." Dean said with a laugh as he burped his daughter. "But...gotta ask, dude. Because you know it's going to come up, and I'll be a whole lot less defensive on the issue...but you said another one had its eye on Kaylie. Talking out of your ass?"

"Yeah. I was." He said with a sheepish grin."But it sure got him focused, didnt it? Guess he really is a Winchester." Sam hadn't really planned anything other than lashing out . It was all he could think to do while in that pit. Everything was blinding hot pain and anger.

"Yeah it got him focused all right. Thought he was going to kill you there for a moment." Dean said with a chuckle. "But that might haunt him for a bit. You know, after what happened to Mom, and Jessica. Don't worry, he'll get over it. Oh, they're officially engaged now. So lots of good things came out of it. You came back, and Jack finally found his balls."

"Yeah. He doesn't like me much but that's okay. He doesn't have to. Things will settle down eventually." He said letting his eyes drift closed for a moment. "The demon isn't going to be happy, you know. He seemed to think I was going to be some sort of special monster in his court. "

"He doesn't like or dislike you. He doesn't know you." Dean pointed out about Jack. "Give him some time. And as for the demon, he can kiss my ass. We won, Sammy. He didn't. Let's just think about that for a while, until you get out of here."

"We won the battle... not the war... " He then smiled a little. "Yet... for that I need that yellow eyed son of a bitch's name."

"We'll find it, then we'll exorcise that son of a bitch. Then go to a bar." Dean said with a laugh. "Yeah, we definitely deserve a drink even after this. Would it be in bad form to raid Ben's stock?"

"I'm not going another three rounds with Ben, thank you very much. That one you are going to have to fight on your own, big brother. But god I could use a drink."

Dean laughed. "You've got your pick. Water or formula." He said with a smirk. "Because I remember people, including you, never sneaking me in beer during any of my hospitalizations."

Sam laughed then groaned because it hurt to laugh. "Jerk." He said with a grin.

"Hey, pay back's a bitch. And come to think of it, so are you. Bitch." Dean said with a grin. Felt good to say that too.

A/N: "In the name of the father" coming soon to a computer screen near you! Our boys finally get a chance at getting rid of the yellow eyed demon, hoping to end the family curse before its passed on to thier children. Now that I have given a shameless plug for the upcoming story, let me give another for our homepage. It gives images and short bios on the characters and the stories we have created, well... and how we have tweeked those Kripke has created as well. Simply go to either my or StrangeOblivions profile and click on home page!