Chapter Seventeen – Hamar

The next day was sunny again and began quite normally, except that they had to say goodbye to Morwen, which was difficult. Pazu hadn't got to know her very well and waited outside in the wagon, sat atop the sacks of barley. Sheeta took ages to come out and when she appeared Pazu saw her wipe her sleeve across her face.

On the way into town they saw another airship pass over. It was a medium sized one and carried the yellow and pink striped Marinaer flag on its tail fin. It seemed that military activity was definitely stepping up.

Tanner drove into the station yard and a foreman directed him to an open wagon standing near the end of a siding. He backed up against it and Pazu pulled out the pins that held the drop door of the railway wagon closed. This fell down with a bang onto the tailgate of Tanner's wagon and they were able to transfer the barley sacks direct into the railway wagon. With the three of them sharing the work they were soon done. Tanner sheeted the cargo over with a railway company tarpaulin. He explained that it didn't matter that they'd delivered a day early, the wagon would sit here overnight and the goods train would collect it in the morning and deliver his barley to the Kingsbury agent the following day.

"Are you busy now?"
"No, lad, I's got all me supplies yesterday. Just need ter pick up a paper then'll be off 'ome."
"Can you take us down a road near the quayside? I want to sell a few pieces from the glider?"
"Sure, I've nuthin' ter be doing now."

Pazu got a good price for his bits and pieces, especially the brass speaking tubes. When he came out Tanner was sat back on the driver's board reading a paper.

"What's the news?"
"It's happenin' lad, don't think nuthin' can stop the fools now."

He showed him the morning's paper. The Restormel Government had delivered an ultimatum to the Marinaer Government yesterday at noon, demanding that within forty-eight hours Marinaer recognize Restormel sovereignty over Greycastle county and withdraw all troops to five miles inside the border of Northhoew, the next Marinaer county to the south. As of this morning Marinaer had not replied except to send more troops into Greycastle and to step up air patrols of the border.

"They're going to fight aren't they?"
"Aye, lad. Damn fools."
"Can you take us back to the end of your lane, Tanner? We'll go north on foot from there and get a ride with a passing farm wagon if we can."
"Sure, I kin do that fer ye."

Tanner turned the wagon and set off back to the main road.

"Oh, here, I want you to have this."

Pazu held out the money he'd got for the iron mongery. Eight silver coins. Tanner gave it a quick glance.

"Them's yer glider lad, ye keep it."
"We don't need it, we've got a lot of the money you paid me. And we'll be living in the fields and woodland a lot, we won't need to buy beds in inns or food very much. I think you and Morwen might need it more than us, I think when the war starts prices of things in towns like Porthaven will go up. Unlike me and Sheeta you two are tied here."
"Nae lad, 'tis yours."
"Take it you stubborn old idiot. For the thing you gave me last night, if nothing else."
"Hm, alright, but I won't be considerin' meself in yer debt."
"That's alright. You're not. I'm in yours. You've been a big help to us this last week. I want to thank you and Morwen."
"Me too," Sheeta had moved forward from the back of the wagon to stand behind Tanner, "we might have been taken into town by the watchmen or soldiers if we hadn't be able to stay with you."
"Eh, up, what's this?"

Ahead of them in the road were soldiers. There were five large khaki coloured bell tents pitched at one side of the road a little way back in a field. Around the tents and across the road a cordon of barbed wire was being uncoiled by some of the soldiers while others worked in twos and threes digging weapon pits. Across the road was more barbed wire attached to two wooden poles so the obstruction could be lifted aside to let traffic through. There seemed to be about thirty soldiers here, a platoon. Unlike the green dressed Numenaorian troops, the Marinaer infantry wore blue jackets and red breeches. Sheeta thought they looked smarter than the dull green Numenaorians but you didn't win battles by looking pretty. At the control post two officers were speaking with wagon drivers. The roadblock seemed to be checking on vehicles coming into the port, and not those leaving. This was fortunate because Pazu and Sheeta were immediately concerned that the army might be looking for a boy and a girl, strangers to the area. However when they got to the barrier they were waved through without a second glance by a bored looking officer.

"'Spect that's part o' the security fer the naval base."

Pazu looked behind them as they went along the road. He expected a shout at any minute, and rifle shots. But they were allowed on their way without any sign of interest from the soldiers.

At the junction of the lane Tanner pulled up at the side of the road.

"Aye, well, here's where I be leavin' yer."
"Good bye Tanner. Thanks for everything. I enjoyed working with you. I learned a lot – not just about harvesting but other things as well."
"Oh, aye, well ye be sure ter put ter good use what I learned ye, eh?"
"Thank you Tanner, and bye. You've been lovely."

Sheeta leaned over from behind him and kissed his cheek.

"Eh, now, enough of that, Morwen'll be smellin' yer on me, ye'll be getting' me in trouble."
"Bye!"

They jumped down.

"Hey up, Ono, let's be getting' home."

They watched the wagon turn down the lane and grow smaller as it climbed the shallow valley. In the distance a wisp of smoke showed from the farmhouse chimney.

"I'm going to miss them," there was a tone of sadness in Sheeta's voice.
"Me too. He's a good man. I hope they'll be alright."

--I--
---o-o-oOo-o-o---
I I

They had been walking an hour, the higher ground on their left hand and the coast to their right. They had passed a number of farms but no villages. They had quite a lot to carry. As well as his bulging knapsack Pazu had been given a blanket by Tanner which he'd rolled up and looped over his shoulder, and tied the ends with twine. His jacket was tied around his waist by its arms and the poncho hung through the strap of the knapsack. His load wasn't heavy but it was quite bulky and the day was warm. Sheeta had a bag of food Morwen had given her, and another sack that Pazu had only learned the purpose of once they were a mile down the road and they were passing through a small wood.

"I need to do something. Wait here."

Pazu frowned and Sheeta climbed the wall and disappeared into the trees. While he was waiting an army officer came along the road on horseback. He looked at Pazu in the way that men in authority always look at teenage boys, as though he knew a teenage boy standing at a roadside meant trouble.

"Morning," Pazu greeted the soldier. Guilty boys wouldn't be friendly, right?

The officer gave Pazu a long cold stare but said nothing and rode on south. Pazu watched him go. He didn't look back.

"Well, what do you think?"

Pazu turned. A young man was sat on the wall.

"Sheeta?"
"Of course. Do you like it?"
"I preferred the dress."

She smiled at him.

"Typical boy. One look at a pair of girl's ankles and you lose all track of the practicalities of living off the countryside. Like this it's much easier to get around, climb and so on. And from a distance we look like two boys, if people are following up Muska's trail they'll be looking for a boy and a girl."

Sheeta wore what looked like a pair of riding britches. They were of soft cloth and a pale sandy colour. She had on a red checked shirt, a grey woollen jacket and a big soft cap, a workman's cap. Her hair was tucked up under it. Apart from her face she did look, from a distance, like a boy, which would help.

"That's great. And you look really cute."
"Oh, you, stop being silly. I had to get rid of Dola's old clothes though. I burned them in the kitchen fire this morning. Pink pants and a yellow shirt are quite distinctive, just in case anyone survived the Goliath crash, I thought it best to get rid of them."
"I'm impressed, you think of everything. Did you leave the dress in the woods?"
"No, it's in the bag. There may be times when a girls outfit will help us. Besides I really like it. I'm just sorry I couldn't bring the hat."

That had been some time back and they had walked in silence since then. They came around a curve in the road and began to climb uphill. They passed a side turning that led down towards the sea. A farmhouse was visible down the lane and coming up it was wagon piled up high with hay. Sheeta tapped Pazu's arm.

"Let's see which way he goes. If he comes our way, you ask for a ride. I think I should keep quiet and pretend to be a boy."
"Alright."

The hay wagon did turn their way and as it came up to them, Pazu stepped into the road and called out.

"Can we ride with you please?"
"Whoa, Morris," the driver called to his horse, "Well hello there, sure, ye can have a ride. Where're you headed?"
"As far as you're going. Where's that?"
"Rutsford, north of Kingsbury."
"Perfect! Thanks."
"Alright, jump up on back."

They ran around the side of the wagon and boosted themselves up. The wagon was indeed heaped up and overflowing with hay but they squeezed onto the back of it and lay back on the soft straw. Sheeta looked at him.

"So lucky! This is good."
"I wish I knew where places were though. I have no idea how far north Rutsford is."
"Does it matter? Its north, the way we want to go."

It was late morning now and the sun was hot. They unloaded their bags and coats onto the hay around them and settled down. Pazu offered Sheeta a drink from his water canteen. They made small talk for a while then the conversation petered out and they lay in silence.

"I'm sorry about last night."

Pazu had been dozing, hat over his eyes. He pushed the peak up and looked at her. Sheeta had rolled over and lay on her side facing him, her head propped up on one elbow. He got the odd feeling that she had been there some while, just watching him.

"I was rude to you. And I told you a lie. But I'm sorry, I can't tell you what that means, what I said in my sleep."
"It's alright. I was just curious. But I thought it might be important."
"It's a line from a song. One I like to sing. It's almost like my song really."
"Is it a sad song?"
"Yes, in a way. Why do you ask?"
"Because when you said the line in your sleep you started crying. I got scared and left the room."
"Taeg! You should have given me a hug."
"Oh."

what? she wants me to hug her when she cries?

Pazu's heart leaped inside him, hope seemed to burst there.

"And what does taeg mean?"

She laughed,

"Idiot. Or silly. Yau taeg tho-or. You silly boy."
"What's 'girl'?"
"Tho-brwnweg. Tho is young. So or would be man and tho-or is boy. Although usually brwnweg, for woman is shortened to just brwn."
"Yau taeg tho-brwn."
"Good, that's it. Although not a particularly useful phrase to know with me around, since I'm not silly."
"Or an idiot."
"You noticed."

He smiled. He liked doing this, talking about her language, he liked the sounds she made when she spoke it.

"You'll have to teach me some more Gondoan. I like the sound of it, it's all earthy and breathy."
"It's a very pretty language, when you speak it you breathe out a lot, lots of air passes across the roof of your mouth and you can give slightly different meanings to words by how much air you trap or release with your tongue."
"Sounds complicated."
"No, it's a very simple language and the grammar is really simple. It's a very basic language the beauty of it all comes out in the way you accent or emphasize different parts of words. If you don't know the exact way to say something, just breathe out more, make the sounds softer and you can't go far wrong."
"Do it again."
"Yau taeg tho-or."
"Again. Sounds nice."
"Yau taeg tho-or."

It was lovely, like she was blowing out a candle, or rather as though her breath was lighting one. Inside him.

"Sheeta, you can call me an idiot as much as you like."
"You said it," she beamed at him and in his heart a thousand flowers bloomed.
"So, what is he-ayerth?"

She looked down at the hay between them, fidgeted the fingers of her free hand through it.

"I'm sorry Pazu, I can't tell you. It's a complex word with lots of meanings. One day I'll tell you."
"Alright. Your song, that song. Did you sing it last week when I carried you to the stream?"
"When I was bathing?"
"Yes."
"Were you listening?"

and looking

"Yes. It sounded nice. Sad though too."
"Yes, as I said it's a sad song, but there are hopeful parts in it."
"Would you sing it now?"
"I knew you would ask that!"
"Do you mind?"
"It's not a song for now, Pazu. It's a song for the evening, the end of the day."
"Or your bath time."
"Yes."

She smiled.

"I'm hungry. Are you?"
"Starving."
"What have we got?"

She opened the bag. There was a big chunk of Morwen's cheese, a bloomer loaf, several hard boiled eggs and a greased paper sheet crumpled up with a large dollop of her pickle in, and two apples.

"Hm, exactly like the lunch you'd make for us in the fields."
"Her food is really good, but very simple. I'd go mad eating the same lunch day after day."
"You've not eaten her meat pie."
"Is it good?"
"Wonderful. Lots of gamey bits of meat and gravy. And pastry so light that if you let it go, it doesn't fall but floats upwards. Yummy."
"Oh, don't. You'll make me want to eat meat again!"
"You know, we should share this with our driver. That's fair isn't it?"
"You're right. Let's climb up front, but you do the talking."

"Hello."
"Hey, little friend."
"Do you plan to stop for lunch?"
"Lunch? Hey, what's lunch? I has breakfast and dinner and that's it. Only the rich stop for lunch."
"Well we have some food with us, and we're hungry. It felt a little rude to eat it and not offer you any. So – bread, cheese, boiled egg?"
"Hey, that's very kind of you. Yes, that would go down a treat."
"I'm Peter by the way, and this is my brother Simon."

lying seems to come easy these days. why?

"Hey. I'm Hamar (he pronounced it Hay-mar), pleased to meet you."

He stuck out his hand and Pazu shook it. Hamar nodded at Sheeta and she, keeping her cap low over her eyes, nodded back. Pazu got his knife out and sliced Hamar a chunk of bread and cheese and spread pickle on it. In companionable silence the three of them stuffed their faces.

Hamar was young, only in his mid-twenties. He had a round boyish face, blue eyes that sparkled and blonde hair cut in a strange shaggy style, longer than men normally did. He wore the usual workmen's clothes but favoured a beaten up old straw hat which kept the shade off his pale skin. He sucked constantly on a clay pipe which he never lit.

"Was that your farm back there?"
"Hey, no. I'm no farmer. I'm a journeyman. I owns the wagon, all mine, all paid for. And Morris, and the two of us contracts for various loads. Go anywhere we do. I live near Rutsford and come and go around Kingsbury carrying all sorts of things for people. It's a good trade, I'm my own boss and no day is like the one before. Not so much fun in winter mind, but if I work hard in summer and put some money away I can stay indoors more days in winter. How about you two?"

He spoke in a rush, his words tumbling over each other. It was hard to tell when one of his sentences ended and another one began.

"Farmers. We live near Kingsbury and came down to Porthaven to help a friend with the harvest."

lying. easier and easier.

"Hey, that's good. Friends are good to have."
"You won't get to Rutsford tonight will you?"
"Hey, no. I'll stop at the Cross Keys at Pemberton. Nice place. Good soft beds, good beer. Not too pricey."
"We haven't any money, we're travelling cheap. I don't suppose we could sleep in the wagon could we?"
"Hey, yes. If you show me I can trust you."

This line rolled out of Hamar's mouth so easily and happily, like all the others, that it caught Pazu by surprise.

"How do we do that?"
"Drive for me, show me you are farmers. Animals like farmers."

He pulled the wagon over to the side of the road. Morris stopped and began to eat a bush. Pazu and Sheeta exchanged a look. She winked at him and climbed forward off the hay pile and onto the driver's board. Hamar slid over and with Pazu leaning between them Sheeta pulled her cap down more, picked up the reins and gently coaxed Morris on.

"Usu."

The big horse began to move, with a deft flick of the reins she got him walking at a good steady pace. Hamar watched the driver. Pazu worried if he would realize she wasn't a boy. Hamar sat for a while studying Sheeta and the way she drove.

"Hey, alright. So you know horses. That's good. Now, Peter, I've got a wagon load of barrelled beer. I'm delivering it to the railway station. How long would it take to unload the wagon in the yard and load it up again on a train?"

Pazu smiled.

"How many people have you got helping the driver?"

Hamar smiled back.

"Two. A boy and a girl."

Pazu looked at him, hard. He wasn't going to assume that was deliberate, not yet.

"Half an hour."
"Hey, are you a circus strong man?"
"No, I just use my head and don't unload the wagon in the yard. I ask the yard foreman which railway wagon the load is going out on and back the cart up against the wagon and do both moves in one."
"Hey, alright, you've done this before."
"Lots of times. But not with beer barrels. Barley in sacks, yes."

is this a feature of war and travelling incognito – that I lie with every breath?

"Hey, alright. You can sleep in the wagon tonight. But I'll take Morris into the Cross Keys stable and I'll put the wheel scotch blocks on."
"Hamar, that's very kind of you, it'll save us getting wet under a hedge."

--I--
---o-o-oOo-o-o---
I I

Sheeta drove most of the afternoon. Hamar lay back and pulled his hat over his eyes. But Pazu noticed he didn't sleep. And from time to time he saw him watching Sheeta, and more than that he watched the way she drove. Pazu didn't know how to drive animals, but he worried that Sheeta might be doing it in a way that wasn't common locally. Her call to Morris to start off, 'usu' was strange, and he thought it must be a Gondoan word.

They left the coast and went inland and crossed a countryside of gently rolling hills with fields now bordered by hedges instead of walls. There was more woodland here and orchards as though this were a fruit growing area. More than once they saw airships fly over and once a formation of strange small flying machines that reminded them of Dola's flaptors. These were slender sleek craft, more like a boat and had two men on them, one a pilot and one in a rear seat as a gunner, but the distinctive whirring wings were the same. Had old uncle stolen one of these once and built the flaptors based on this idea? Pazu couldn't help think that at midday tomorrow they would be in a country at war. And then he felt sure that travelling would get a lot harder, people would ask more questions, and strangers would be the focus of more suspicion.

Hamar tried to get them to come in the inn for a beer but Pazu declined. He knew that Sheeta would appear strange if she kept her hat on and it would be impossible to go the whole evening without her speaking. So Hamar unhitched Morris and took him to the stable and then returned to lock on the heavy steel scotch blocks to the wheels, preventing the wagon from moving.

"Hey, see you in the morning."
"Good night."

They watched him go into the inn.

"Make up a bed, and a fire and I'll go find us some dinner."

Pazu wondered what sort of bed Sheeta wanted. Why was his whole mind fixated on being near her, or rather being too near her? He sorted through their possessions and stashed them in as near to a tidy heap as he could at one side of the wagon, keeping out the poncho and the blanket. Then he picked up armfuls of hay and threw them higher up onto the middle of the wagon, leaving an area by the tail gate that was only covered by a foot or so. It made a bed. A bed for two. For two people who would sleep close together.

damn it Pazu, cut it out. think sense, it's just a wagon with hay in, a place we have to sleep because there's nowhere else.

Then he jumped down and looked around for something to light a fire. He came across a night watchman's brazier, a steel drum on legs, pierced with holes, presumably used by someone who looked after the stables and wagons. He dragged it over to near the wagon and finding scrap timber in a shed he filled it and broke one of the chemical fire tablets under it. Within a minute a good warm fire was blazing. He found a couple of wooden boxes and placed them near the fire.

The harvest season heralded the end of summer and while the days were still warm the nights were growing longer now and cooler. He found it really helped to be near the flames, standing doing nothing as the evening lengthened into night he really noticed the colder air now. He wondered how long their journey would take. Sleeping out in the open would soon get a lot colder. In a month's time it would be a real hardship, if not impossible.

In the gloom he saw a figure approaching from the road. Sheeta had picked mushrooms, juicy fat plum tomatoes from he would rather not ask where and herbs – chives and parsley. She cooked in one of their pans, adding the last of the cheese and broken up bread chunks to make a vegetable broth.

Pazu wiped his chin on his sleeve.

"That was delicious."
"Pleased you enjoyed it."
"First the fish and now this. I didn't know princesses could cook like this."

He had brewed up tea from his diminishing stock of leaves. They'd bought a second tin mug but he didn't use it. He just liked sharing a cup with her, putting his lips where hers had touched. It was almost like touching her.

"I'm a princess in name only you know. I have to cook and mend and wash and sow and milk Yaoko and pick vegetables just like anyone else."
"Do you?"
"You know I do. I told you about my farm before."
"Yes, but I thought maybe you had servants to do that."

She stared at him for a while. Her expression was so odd he became worried. Then her face split into a wide smile and she laughed.

"Servants? To work my farm?"
"Sure, princesses don't work farms. Own them, yes, but work?"
"Pazu, you are funny. They do in Gondoa. Everybody helps out, we all help each other. I told you my parents died when I was little and my grand-mamma last year. Since then I've worked the farm alone. Relatives and friends come to help out of course but don't for a minute think I sit on a big golden throne and have an army of servants."
"I did."
"Did you? Taeg! Yau taeg-dhu Paetsu! You are so funny!"
"I suppose being a Gondoan princess isn't like I thought."
"It seems not. Centuries ago, yes, when we had all our silly old rules and rituals, but part of abandoning the old ways meant abandoning those boring stupid rituals too. And a good thing as well, I would have hated to be royalty in the old days. Do this today, do that tomorrow. On the last day of each week say these words, visit these people, give these symbolic gifts. I would have gone mad."
"Who can princesses marry?"

Pazu immediately regretted saying that. Why had he blurted that out?

"Anyone they like. I think. I've not heard of any rules about that. Although I want to marry someone special. A person I've liked quite some time. He's really noble."
"Oh. Well I'm sure you'll be very happy."

She gave Pazu a funny look, a mischievous look. He was so cute sometimes, and at other times so dim. He didn't get it at all, and that silliness was something she found really appealing.

one day, Pazu, I'll spring it on you and enjoy the look on your face.

"I hope so."
"Taeg-dhu? You said something -dhu the other night."

he's changing the subject

"Maerth-dhu. That was the name of a constellation. The great wolf, the wolf-god. Lucita represents life, birth and renewal. Life in the heavens if you like. Maerth-dhu is her enemy. They battle through the centuries for ever and neither wins, it's a perfect balance although not quite a harmony. In the night sky Maerth-dhu rises first and devours the day in his jaws, he brings darkness, lies and the night when people are afraid. Maerth-dhu is from the underworld, he dwells in caverns. Tho-Brwnweg is the maiden, and that's another name for Lucita, she rises in the sky later, and in spring just before dawn. She represents the victory of new life over death, or rebirth in the spring. Of course the winter comes again and the cycle goes on. It's very poetic, there are several songs about this heavenly dance they have where first one has the upper hand and then the other. The old legends tell that one day they will marry and then death will be taken away and all Laputans will be reborn as their children and live for ever in heaven."

Pazu looked at her, at her eyes in the firelight, at the tangle of her red hair.

"That's beautiful. You can't let those songs be forgotten, that would just be wrong. If Muska to you represents people digging up the past then please look past him and what he did. If you let him become a model of how to hold onto the past then you're accepting all the wrong and obsessive things and letting go of all the beautiful, magical, poetic things, like these legends, these songs."
"I know what you are saying Pazu, but in the past when Laputans have tried to remember times gone it has always been like this. They rediscover what we had and the power the castles carried and they think it would be the right thing to have that back. Muska wasn't the first crazy man to think like that, there have been others."
"We can remember and not become like Muska!"

Pazu suddenly found he was standing up.

"This is such a lovely thing. Just hearing your voice speak the language I know it would be wrong to lose it. Teach me. I have nothing, no family, no history, no past. Give me your past."
"Pazu!"
"Well. Don't look so surprised. Why not? I'm not going to go looking for crystals and I know there are no more flying castles."
"No you don't."

She stared down, into the flames of the dying fire.

"What?"
"You don't know that there are no other flying castles."

He watched her face, he could see on it that she wasn't messing him about.

"There are more?"
"No longer flying, but the other three castles are somewhere, on the earth, buried. They may even have those horrible weapons still on them. And all the other islands I mentioned last night. One day people will find them. Miners, or explorers. And if the knowledge is kept alive men will again try to use their power. We both know where that will lead them."
"There are three more Laputas buried in the earth?"
"Somewhere, yes."

Pazu sat down. It wasn't over. The madness that had been Muska would happen again. Some other lunatic would find a castle with a crystal in it and the craziness would be repeated.

"There must be other stones then, like yours."
"Somewhere, yes. No one knows where."
"That's good. The chances of someone finding the right stone that would activate the right crystal is very small."
"But not impossible. Do you see now? There are very few pure Laputans alive now, and not all of them know the legends. For each generation we tell the old stories to, the chance of someone finding a stone and a crystal grows. There are explorers now going out from the civilized countries and discovering new worlds, airships are getting better – you said it yourself. Soon someone will find the other castles. I can see how the future will be Pazu. I love the old songs, I love the old legends and poems. It makes my heart ache to lose them. But we have to. It's even wrong for me to teach you the language."

She had stood up now and was walking around the fire, her hands wringing in a knot in front of her.

"Do you see how much this hurts? All I want Pazu is to go home, live on my farm, raise a family and forget everything. But this war, these Government people. I just feel they'll never let me rest. Pazu."

She looked at him and he had never seen such a piteous look on her face.

"Pazu… I just want to be left alone. To live in peace, have children, see my children have children, and die. No one can ask for more, or deserve less."

She walked around a second time and this time he stepped up and stood where she was walking. She walked up to him and stopped. It was dark now, the only light was from the embers in the brazier. As she looked at him he lifted his arms and held them open. It was a simple thing, just two more steps. She took them and walked against him. He dropped his arms so that they enclosed her, held her. As he felt her against him he realized she was crying. He'd never seen her cry, not even in the worst moments when she had faced Muska, but she cried now, when the thought of a Government coming after her, perhaps even in years time when they had found another castle and she was grown up, coming for her again to force her to tell them how to turn a forgotten island into a machine of death. With that hanging over her, she could never rest.

"Sheeta. Let's sleep. You must be tired."
"Pazu. Hold me. Tonight. I don't want anything else, I just don't want to be alone. Hold onto me."

He got up onto the wagon, held out his hand and she took it, her small warm hand in his, a simple thing. A little thing, only friendship, only a thing between friends, a thing she craved because it held at a distance the fear of her enemies. He shrugged off his jacket, his boots, and she hers. He spread the blanket and got out the poncho and she slipped off her riding britches. He looked at her, standing in just her shirt.

"Don't. Don't say anything. They are just too tight. Good for climbing walls and crawling through hedges Pazu, but hopeless for sleeping in, so I don't need any comment from you."

He hadn't known what sort of comment she expected, he certainly didn't have one ready, he was just stood there looking at her wondering (and scared out of his mind) if she would take anything else off.

He crawled into the poncho and held it up and open and she scrambled in too. He then dragged the blanket over them both and lay down. She faced him, one arm around his waist, the other tucked against her front, just leaving them far enough apart so they weren't pressed together. Was that how it was done? He had no idea, he didn't know where to put his arms at all. Her face was tucked down under his chin. Without speaking she reached for one of his arms and put it around her. He slid his hand up her back and pressed her closer against him. She snuggled down further and he lay there a long time. Long after her breathing had become deeper and more gentle, he was awake, thinking. As he lay staring past her hair, feeling it tickle his chin, watching the world turn blue silver under the moons, he heard her again, muffled and in her sleep.

"Paetsu…Paetsu… Yau he-ayerth al om-e tuh."

She repeated this line not twice, not three times, but over and over, it became a chant, and a lament. He held her tighter and in her dreams the struggle came again with the enemy, the enemy only she could see and which he could only guess at. And then, later in the night, as he knew they would come, came the tears. And this time he was there to hold her.

So he did.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

11 March 2007

For author notes about Chapter Seventeen, please see my forum (click on my pen name)