Life as a SOLDIER

Disclaimer: Chapter 40! It seems only yesterday that you were posting chapter 20! Or even 30! We have sure gone a looong way!

A/N: Yep, we have! AND ITS THANKS TO YOU WONDERFUL READERS! DON'T EVER CHANGE, AND ALWAYS REVIEW!
Muses: Sorry, she's kinda tired, so she's a bit loud. Don't mind her.
Me: Whee! Let's get going on…

Chapter Forty: A New Lighthearted Feeling
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After he had finished rewashing the dishes, Cloud trudged to Sephiroth's room. My hands sting really bad, thought Cloud. I'll have to ask Sephy about the type of bleach-lemon he uses… Cloud opened the door to Sephiroth's room. "Sephy!" he called. "I'm here."

"Well, don't just stand there, come in," said Sephiroth from the balcony.

Cloud blinked and entered the room, closing the door behind him. "So… What kind of lessons did you have in mind?"

"Come over here, stand by me really quick," said Sephiroth, indicating that Cloud should come stand next to him.

"Okay…" said Cloud, putting on the light blue fuzzy slippers and coming over next to Sephiroth. "Whoa… What an excellent view you have from here!" exclaimed Cloud. "How lucky… you get such a good view of the world, even places outside of Shinra…!"

"I didn't ask you here to enjoy the view," said Sephiroth bluntly.

"Eh…? Oh, right…" muttered Cloud quietly. "Sorry, I was just…"

Sephiroth looked down at Cloud. "…I suppose we could have five minutes before we begin," he said, turning to enter his room. "I need to get the lesson together anyway."

"Shall I help, or…?"

"No, no, go on and enjoy your view," said Sephiroth. "I'll call you inside when the lesson's ready."

"Okay…" Cloud smiled a little "Thanks, Sephy…"

Sephiroth felt a weird expression come across his face. Was he returning that small smile? He shook himself and entered his room. I haven't been feeling well lately, thought Sephiroth bitterly to himself as he walked to his bedroom and flopped back-first onto the bed. I must be catching something…like some kind of illness… That must be why I've been feeling more lighthearted recently…yeah, that's it…

The sound of humming caught his ears, and Sephiroth sat up curiously. The humming continued, so Sephiroth got up to follow the source of the sound. He stood by his door and looked out towards the balcony, where Cloud was still standing, apparently humming to himself.

Sephiroth watched for a few seconds, not sure if he should be annoyed, because that lighthearted feeing was returning. I usually don't like humming…in fact, I hate humming… he glanced down a little. …then why do I feel like I don't mind that it's Cloud doing the humming…? He shook himself. What am I thinking! I despise humming! No SOLDIER would ever dare to hum in my presence! Besides, we have those lessons to go through! With a firm nod to himself, he stepped over to the middle of the room and called, "Cloud! It's time to begin!"

Cloud stopped humming and looked back. "Already? Wow, five minutes sure does go by fast…" he walked from the balcony to stand a few paces away from Sephiroth. "Well…what were we doing today?"

"Sit down, right here," said Sephiroth, shaking his head of any lighthearted feeling. Cloud nodded and sat down. "…what do you do when that geostigma starts hurting you?"

"Huh…?" Cloud looked down. "Well, I… If it's a bad ache, I might flinch or whimper or something… If it's just a little sting, like it usually is, then I just usually wince. But sometimes, the pain is excruciating…it happened once, and it was all I could do to not yell in pain…"

"Ah," said Sephiroth. "And is it true that you remember sad and happy things?"

"Yes…"

"What kinds of things? Would you tell me what kind of things?" asked Sephiroth.

Cloud closed his eyes and lowered his head a little bit. "I…no, I really don't want to tell anyone…"

"Hmm… Well, I'm very curious as to what kind of things you remember," said Sephiroth. "If it started hurting you now, would you tell me what you remembered?"

Cloud didn't answer.

"Cloud," said Sephiroth more firmly. "That was an order."

"An order…? But--" started Cloud, looking up at Sephiroth.

"No more talking! This is part of our lessons to teach you how to ignore pain! You ready?"

"What are you going to do?" asked Cloud apprehensively.

"This," answered Sephiroth, pulling a Vincent and reaching down to grab Cloud's geostigma to make it start hurting.

"…" gasped Cloud in surprise.

"A gasp of surprise?" asked Sephiroth, releasing Cloud's arm. "Did you remember anything?"

"No, not really…"

"How badly does it need to hurt for you to remember something?" asked Sephiroth. He didn't wait an answer; instead he tried again.

Cloud winced at a memory.

Flash: Tifa was holding out her hand with a kind smile. "Please don't stay out here in this awful rain. You can come stay at my house. We'll have an extra room for you…"

Sephiroth released Cloud again and said, "Remembered something, right? You winced."

"Yes, I did remember something," murmured Cloud, placing his right hand over his left arm.

"And it was…?"

Cloud glanced away from Sephiroth. "I…can't tell you."

"You can't tell me?" repeated Sephiroth.

"It's…something I'd rather keep to myself… I can't tell anybody, especially not anyone from Shinra Company."

Sephiroth raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Especially not Shinra personnel? Why not?"

"If I told you why, I'd only be putting myself in danger," said Cloud.

"Oh, really? It's some dark and deadly secret, is it?" Sephiroth narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Does this have something to do with the Jenova cell you have within you?"

Cloud closed his eyes and shook his head. "I can't tell anyone…not you, nor Zack, nor Tifa… I can't tell anyone."

"Pheh," scoffed Sephiroth impatiently. "I don't like it when people keep secrets from me! Why is it that you won't tell anyone? How would it endanger you?"

"I don't like it when people badger me about things I would rather keep secret!" snapped Cloud, glaring up at Sephiroth. "Everyone has their little secret! I'm sure even you have a secret or two! I can't tell anyone about it, all right! It could mean terrible things if even one person in Shinra Company were to remember it!" Sephiroth narrowed his eyes again, and Cloud gasped. Oh, no…! Why--Why did I shout at him like that…! I'm in trouble now…

"You…have a lot of nerve," said Sephiroth after a few minutes of silence. "So there is a more assertive persona inside you after all. Why don't you let it out all the time?"

"No, I'm not assertive…" said Cloud quietly, lowering his eyes. "I…I just can get like that sometimes…"

"Hmm… Well, fine, be that way," said Sephiroth. "I'll find out, one way or another… Let's continue with the lesson, shall we?"

"If we must," said Cloud apprehensively.

"Good," said Sephiroth. "Let's see what you remember next…" Without warning, he suddenly grabbed Cloud's left arm in a very painful grip.

Flash: Cloud had tentatively approached the group of kids and asked if he could join them, but then the bullies started laughing and had all the kids join them in tossing basketballs at Cloud, causing Cloud to cry out and flee…

Cloud pulled away from Sephiroth. "That hurts! Let go!"

Sephiroth stared at Cloud. "What did you remember?" he asked curiously.

"…I--I had asked some kids if I could join them…they looked like they were about to agree when those bully kids just laughed, and they and the rest of the kids started to toss basketballs at me…"

"You were really the unpopular one, weren't you?" asked Sephiroth.

"I don't know why they always picked on me!" exclaimed Cloud. "I never asked them to mistreat me or something! I wanted to make a lot of friends, but as it turned out, Tifa was the only one who actually treated me like I was a person rather then trash! I wanted to make friends, too!"

"Whoa, calm down," said Sephiroth. "Jeez, I'm sorry, Cloud."

"No, it's nothing about you," said Cloud more quietly. "I…just don't like remembering the past. No matter how I try to forget it, it always sneaks up on me somehow…"

"You had no family in Nibelheim?" asked Sephiroth. "You had no parents or anything?" Cloud shook his head sadly. "Then where on earth did you come from?"

"I can't tell you."

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. "Sigh… One day, I'll get the truth out of you. One day…"

"How much longer will we go on?" asked Cloud.

"Oh, let's go for one more. Try not to show any pain this time. The whole point of this lesson was for you to avoid any pain, remember? Let's try again."

Cloud braced himself for the harsh pain the suddenly came when Sephiroth whammed the stigma hard.

Flash: "He's our docile little Chocobo!" announced one bully. "And his owner, Tifa, isn't here at all this week! Let's wreak all the havoc we want onto this Chocobo!" Cloud had tried to pull away from the bullies, but it was to no avail…

Flash: Cloud was sitting on Tifa's bed, hugging himself tightly, not saying anything, and then he glanced at the little juice box Tifa had left for him…

Flash: "Don't forget! You promised me!" called Tifa as she waved Cloud goodbye…

Sephiroth watched Cloud's expression carefully. "You winced a little, but you made no sound. That's good. What did--"

"I remember?" finished Cloud. He sighed. "The bullies were going to wreak havoc on me because Tifa had to leave for a week, and I--I remembered the day I promised Tifa I'd become stronger for her."

"Is that all?"

"Yes…"

"Hmm…fine," said Sephiroth, though he had a feeling still that Cloud was hiding something. "You're dismissed for today. Go back to your room and check your e-mail or something. There'll be no meals for you today or the rest of the week."

"But I haven't eaten anything for three days!" gasped Cloud in shock. "I'm starving! I'm lacking in sleep greatly, too! How am I supposed to keep up with your training!"

"By swallowing your weakness and let your inner strength out," said Sephiroth. "If you concentrate on the hunger, then hunger is all you'll get. Learn to ignore hunger, remember? Off you go."

"But I…" Cloud trailed off and sighed sadly. "Fine, I will… See you later, Sephy…" he stood up, trudged to the door, put his boots back on, and left the room.

Sephiroth stared at the closed door, surprised to feel that lighthearted feeling again. "Why is it that every time he leaves the room…" he stood up and walked to the balcony to watch Cloud walk back to his room. "…I want to watch him leave…?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh-hoh! Is Sephiroth feeling an infatuation with little Cloud? Or is it something else? These new feelings will be seen a lot, won't they? HAH! We'll see what happens, won't we? See you next chapter!