A/N: No amount of repentant words could apologize for the six-months gap between chapters four and five. So let me just say that I am deeply sorry and that both of us hope the next one will appear much more sooner. Thanks to all of you who supported us during this time. Thanks to all of you who came back to read it even after such a long time.
And Danae's personal credits goes: to Wade whose editing work worked wonders to this chapter, making it witty and juicy. And to Harmony Bites whose fantastic beta service made it as readable as desired.

oOo

Severus knew the way well. Guildford, a sleepy town about twenty miles from London, was a final destination for many of his customers. Today the A3 highway was almost empty, and the only thing he had to worry about was the wet, slippery road. It had drizzled all day, and it seemed that the real heavy rain was finally about to fall.Dismal weather, really. He turned on the wipers and kept an eye on the dark and empty motorway ahead of him. To be honest, he was grateful to pay more attention to his driving than what waited for him at Lupin's house. He had been trying to figure out what to expect for the past two days, but his normally clever brain always ended up at a dead end.

None of this made sense.

The whole encounter in the elevator was simply insane. Lupin had him cornered. All he had to do was speak a little louder, and the reward was his. Doubtless he needed it. Instead, he let Severus go--and invited him to dinner.

But what for? It could be a trap, but Severus didn't see the point. Indeed, Lupin's wife was an Auror, but how could a plate of home cooking be more effective than a flask of Veritaserum in one of the Ministry offices?

Could Lupin possibly trust him? If so, either Lupin was a much bigger fool than Severus had ever considered (and he had considered Lupin quite a fool and more back in the day) or Lupin knew something that Severus didn't. He didn't like the thought of that. Drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, he cursed softly under his breath. He couldn't imagine what Lupin must have on him. If the agreement with Dumbledore were truly known, the bounty on Severus' head would have been recalled long ago. But that wasn't possible. Their agreement was top secret, and then, at the end of the school year when everything went bad... Severus pursed his lips. Eleven years later didn't make the memory any less painful.

No, if Lupin trusted him, he surely had some other reason to.

Through the thick veil of falling water, he spotted the turnoff to Guildford, took his foot off the gas and turned left. Water splashed under the tires, but again the road was quiet and the only sound was the drumming of raindrops on the roof and the swish of the wipers. And something more. The loud beating of his heart. He put his foot on the brake, pulled off to the side of the road and stopped. He needed to breathe. To think. To decide.

Instinctively, he felt that the moment he stepped over the threshold of Lupin's house something would happen. He wouldn't be able to turn back, and he would be in it for good with his future uncertain. This was his last chance. Though Lupin had threatened him with Aurors, he knew full well that if he turned the car around, drove to Heathrow Airport and caught a plane to New Zealand, no one would come looking for him. Wizarding England had really much more important problems to solve right now than to look for a criminal accused of a murder eleven years old from a war long since past. Though escape was the only rational decision, something deep inside led him just the other direction. It was the same feeling that persuaded him to pass the suspicious parchment into Miss Granger's hands. And though things went rather different from what he had intended, surprisingly enough, it wasn't a complete disaster.

It was like he had walked into a new life the day he entered the Ministry. He had no idea where he was going, but still--for some reason he felt that it might be the right place for him right here and now. He could turn back and return to a life of minding his own business; to continue on this path required backbone and determination. But the tension and excitement of the past few days offered him something that he had gone without during the last ten years. Truth was, he missed it. He couldn't say he wanted to join Lupin's family for dinner. He had never liked Lupin nor had he ever been fond of Tonks. But it was a necessary stop on his way, a place to get a little more light for his dark path. He started the car again. He knew he didn't want to turn back.

The numbers of the semi-detached houses of Pewley Way were barely visible due to heavy rain and dim streetlights. Severus drove past the row of red brick buildings very slowly, trying not to miss Number Twenty-one. But when he got to the end of the street, he blinked in surprise. Behind Number Twenty was just an empty plot with a few bushes and a small, dilapidated shack in the middle. While such a building might have been Lupin's refuge in years past, he was sure the Ministry paid its Aurors more. He turned his car around and went back again--only to find the sad same shack, but no Number Twenty-one. He parked in front of the plot and turned off the engine. The drumming of the rain was much harder now, and he could even hear the howling of the cold wind. If this was the place where Lupin lived, it wasn't the standard Distraction Charm that covered his house--they only worked for Muggles. He stared blankly ahead, but then he smacked himself hard on the forehead and searched his pockets. There he found the card Lupin gave him at the Ministry.

"Mr. And Mrs. Lupin," he read in a low voice. "Twenty-one Pewley Way, Guilford." Looking up, he saw a dark shadow appearing in the middle of the rain curtain, more and more similar to a little red brick house. The lit windows shined though the dark wall and illuminated the wet garden and the falling rain.

oOo

"Would you like a drink before dinner, Samuel?"

He hadn't expect this. He sat at a table in a well-lit cozy kitchen, but his companion wasn't Lupin, but Tonks in a simple blue polka-dot dress. Cassie, a little girl about two, toddled around her, hiding from time to time behind her mum's chair and throwing long, mysterious looks at him from there. The older girl he remembered from the elevator, who met him at the door and excitedly invited him inside, now sat on the floor in the middle of the room making paper airplanes one after the other from a stack of paper in front of her.

"No thanks, I'm driving," Severus replied.

Tonks paused, confused for a second. "Oh, that's right. You arrived by car. Well, it's good to have a friend around in abstinence." She smiled and put her hand on her round belly, such a contrast to her slim figure. Turning to Lupin--Remus, Severus reminded himself--she asked, "What about you, honey?"

"Ogden with water, love, but just a little one." He indicated an inch between his thumb and forefinger.

Remus bustled around the stove, finishing dinner. Severus guessed spaghetti a la Bolognese by the smell. The apron saying, "Don't kill the cook, he's all we have" was in desperate need of a washing. From time to time he touched the paper airplane his daughter proffered him. Severus winced every time her high voice squealed in excitement as the plane took off and began to fly towards the ceiling.

Tonks put a bottle of Ogden, one glass jug with water and another with blackberry juice on the table. As she poured the drink for Remus and juice in the other four glasses, she asked, "Why didn't you Apparate? It would have certainly been more comfortable." She nodded towards the window, which was now rattling slightly with the wind.

Severus appraised her carefully. She was smiling and held herself with grace, but he felt she was as uncomfortable as he was. However, it didn't seem that Remus had given away his identity. Maybe she just needed some time to get used to his deformed face, like many he met for the first time.

He shrugged. "I'm out of practice, really. I've lived so long in the Muggle world, and I would have really hated to have arrived today without one of my legs." Tonks smiled at his joke. "I certainly drive better than Apparate now," he said, "especially when I want to get somewhere I've never been before. I didn't expect your house to be protected by Fidelius. Is it now Ministry policy for each and every employee?"

She nodded with a slight shrug. "Circumstances require it. But you...it seems you have a few unusual years behind you. I hear you drive a Muggle taxi now. Tell me something about it."

Severus inhaled uneasily. The question was innocent enough, but before he could even answer, an airplane flew swiftly past his ear.

"Lily!" Tonks shouted. Severus gave a slight start at hearing that name again, until he realized that Tonks was reprimanding her daughter.

"Stop it right this instant and sit at the table." The girl frowned a little but scampered into the empty seat next to Severus. With one swish of her wand, Tonks made all the airplanes land on the floor.

"She learned this at the Ministry," she said, gesturing with her wand at the planes. "One would believe she has already chosen her career."

"No, I won't work at the Ministry," Lily said. "I'm going to be a teacher, like Daddy--and Mr. Hawke."

Severus held his breath and Lupin paused stiffly at the stove. Tonks looked at Severus in surprise. "Remus told me you two met at school, but I had no idea you were a teacher, too."

"He taught at Hogwarts!" Lily cried. "Dad said so."

"Oh really?" Tonks' face was full of genuine interest. "What did you teach?"

Severus gripped his glass tightly. "Defense Against the Dark Arts." He learned long ago that half-truths were much more effective than blatant lies. "You might recall that the position was cursed. I had to leave after just one year."

"When did you teach? I certainly would remember you if it was during my studies..."

"Supper's ready, gang!" Lupin said cheerily and walked to the table with a large, steaming bowl. "Hand over your plates!"

Severus exhaled slowly. Tonks didn't pursue an answer, but before she put her littlest daughter on her lap, she gave him a searching look.

To Severus' relief, the two girls kept her quite busy during the meal. Especially little Cassie, who ate very reluctantly. She seemed more interested in their guest than her food, staring at him in such a scrutinizing way that she forgot to open or close her mouth. Her look made him nervous but didn't put off his appetite any. The spaghetti was delicious, and manners dictated that he say as much to the chef. Remus seemed pleased by the compliment.

"Remus is a fantastic cook," Tonks said, trying to feed Cassie another spoonful of spaghetti. "Actually much better than I am--he has no reason to be afraid of experiments. I was never too keen on cooking. My mother always said that I was hopeless at homemaking."

"She wasn't right," Remus replied, looking up from Lily's plate, where he cut her meal into smaller bits. "The girls love your meals, and I would kill for your desserts."

"Well, Saturday dessert is my payment to the family." Tonks gave Remus a little guilty smile and then turned to Severus. "They don't see much of me during the week, so I bribe them on the weekends. We saved this week's treat for tonight."

Severus smirked while helping himself to a little more Parmesan. Whatever was prepared for tonight, dinner seemed to be one of the better things.

The little girl on Tonks' lap wiggled impatiently. Just before Tonks released her--it was obvious that she knew Cassie too well to force her into eating more--the little girl kissed her mother's cheek. Severus blinked; for a very short time, he had the impression that he was seeing two identical faces, a tiny copy next to an inspiring original. Then the girl disappeared under the table, and Tonks just smiled at Severus and helped herself to some more spaghetti.

Severus realized how little he knew of the woman sitting opposite to him. Eleven years ago, she was a new member of the Order and, in his opinion, foolishly pining over the coward werewolf. He still saw her as his student--and he had never liked her when she was his student. Yes, she was extremely capable but also quite careless, disrespectful, and rich in that boisterous kind of humor that he rather detested. But the woman here wasn't a student anymore. She was a mother of three, a woman with a surprising career, and a woman with the experience of a war that left none of its combatants untouched.

In short, she was now an unknown person, and he realized that he had to start again with her and had better do it right this time, because any misstep would result in the same ending as eleven years ago.

He hadn't realized he was literally staring at her until something nudged at him from under the table. He jerked. Something touched his leg. Right next to his chair stood little Cassie, staring at him with her dark, serious eyes. Then, very slowly, she began to smile.For some reason the smile troubled him more than her cautious look. And then it happened--Cassie reached her chubby little hands to him.

Severus gazed at her in horror. He didn't like little kids, and he avoided them as much as possible. He didn't touch them or talk to them. And for most of them, the feelings were right mutual. But these obstrusive kids were different. It seemed he had gained supporters he had never asked for. Was it just Lupin's incredibly trusting genes? Or did his reputation of Kids' Eater die on the last day of the war ten years ago?

His life hung often on the thin string of flexibility, self-denial and instant decisions. He reached out his hands, picked Cassie up and put her awkwardly in his lap.

It was a strange feeling--not exactly uncomfortable, but a little odd. It was like carrying something extremely fragile but living and warm at the same time. He had no idea how to hold her, and if he was allowed to touch her at all. Cassie didn't seem to notice any discomfort, however, and rested her back against his stomach so he could clearly feel the beating of her little heart. He just hoped she wouldn't stay long.

"We've trained her not to bite, Samuel," Remus said, bringing Severus' attention back to his surroundings. He realized his internal horror must have expressed itself in his body language.

"It's just that I--I don't have much experience with children," Severus stammered. "At least, not ones this small." While he felt quite tied down, Cassie was more than comfortable and proceeded to chase down the leftovers on the plate in front of her. After a particularly greasy bit landed on the bridge of his nose, he was thankful to see Tonks clear the table. Cassie took this as her cue and settled against his stomach, yawned, and promptly fell asleep.

He was so absorbed in the little girl; he didn't realize that Tonks was also talking to him. "Sorry?" he asked, tearing his eyes away from the child.

"I just want to know if I can offer you a piece of cake."

"Of course," he replied, though he couldn't imagine how he would be able to eat it.

He thought better of accepting Tonks' offer once he laid eyes on the cake. It was...lumpy--and moving. A Mimbletous Mimbletona sprang to mind, but decorated with garish frosting flowers in unappetizing colors.

He now understood why Lupin did all of the cooking. It was a relief that he didn't get squirted with ooze when she sliced into her creation, but it didn't ease any of his apprehension when a slice was passed to him. The death rattle didn't seem to bother anybody else, though, and the Lupins tucked in excitedly. Giving a furtive glance around the table, he gathered his courage and scooped up a forkful.

By the coloring, he surmised that it was chocolate and the smell confirmed it. He quickly stuffed it in his mouth and immediately felt a calming, soothing sensation spread from his head clear down to his toes. Strange. Something was magnifying the medicinal properties of the chocolate, but before he could consult his rusty internal potions catalogue, Tonks spoke up again.

"You know, Samuel, when Remus told me he had invited an old schoolmate to dinner, I was surprised. I thought I knew all of his old friends." He could feel his inner alarm start to fight the cake in his stomach. He rested against the chair and kept his face calm. There was a smile on her face and her voice was light, but he knew the conversation was going to turn serious.

"When he told me your name, I was even more surprised. Just that day, Hermione Granger had told me of her new hire in the DIA." Leaning forward, she managed to rest her elbows on the table in front of her and rest her head on her laced fingers. "She said you were a very...well-connected man." Her right eyebrow arched, and Severus understood her meaning completely.

She knew about the parchment and his missing past but knew better than to say too much in front of her children. He nodded slightly. "Even I am amazed at the people I meet in my line of work," he said, before taking another casual bite of cake.

"Driving a taxi is an odd line of work for a wizard. In fact, you've lived as a Muggle for...how long again?"

He swallowed forcefully. "Ten years."

"That's a long time. Might I ask why?"

Severus raised his glass to his lips to clear the lump from his throat. Lupin leaned on one elbow, just as interested in the answers to his wife's questions as she was. Bastard must have known there was going to be an inquisition, but too chicken to do the interrogating himself. Any faith Severus had in the man started to fizzle away.

"Well," he said once the glass was safely returned to the table, "my father was a Muggle. A prominent town leader, in fact. I felt as comfortable in his world as I did my mother's." Just as comfortable. Meaning not at all. "The Muggle part of my upbringing was always alive--and sometimes very alluring. Both the magical and non-magical worlds have indisputable strengths and weaknesses."

Lupin finally spoke up. "I've always thought of trying to work in the Muggle sector. If I could find a way to have excused absences once a month. Sooner or later, people would be suspicious." He shrugged in resignation.

"And you didn't raise any suspicion, without Muggle identification papers or education?" Tonks asked.

"Muggle identification papers aren't difficult to obtain, and you don't need much of an education to drive a taxi." Severus replied. He knew his answers were slightly incriminating, but not nearly as bad as if he had included his previous employment, as well. Better to let her think he lived on the fringes. "It's amazing how easy it is to cross cultural lines without detection. Nobody suspects to see a wizard in the Muggle world, and vice versa."

The flicker in her eyes told Severus that he had hit upon what she wanted to know most. "But what made you want to cross that cultural divide?"

He shrugged as nonchalantly as possible while choosing his words carefully. "Like most people during the War, it was either stand up and fight or run. I had no attachments in this world--I was single and my mother had died years before--so like a coward, I ran."

"It's not true!" cried an angry little voice on his left. All of them turned to Lily in surprise. Severus felt a chill run up his spine.

"Lily," Tonks said sharply before she controlled her surprise. Calmer, she asked, "What on earth is wrong?"

"It's not true!" she said hotly. "It's not true he's a coward! He can't be a coward if Dad said he was a war hero!" With one fist on the table, she raised her arm and pointed to her dad. "He told me they fought side by side. War heroes never leave the fight, and Dad never lies!"

Severus cursed quietly. As nice as it is to have an ally, her emphatic outburst was doing more harm than good for him at the moment.

Tonks turned slowly to Lupin. "Is that true? Did you tell her that you fought with Samuel in the war?" Severus could tell Lupin was thinking as quickly as he could, but before anything useful came to mind, Tonks' expression started changing.

He could see her picture every member of the Order in her mind...here comes the teachers at Hogwarts...the fact that he was half-blood...the fact he had been living among Muggles for exactly ten years...

When she turned back to Severus, she didn't smile anymore. Their eyes met, and he could feel the cold sweat start to run down his back. The silence was never ending.

Swiftly she stood and came around the table. "Remus," she said in an icy tone, quickly snatching the sleeping baby out of Severus' arms, "it's time to put the kids to bed."

Lily said: "But I don't want..."

Tonks quickly cut her off. "Without any argument." The hurt in the little girl's eyes made him feel slightly guilty. "You're welcome to stay, Samuel," she said from the bottom of the steps, her voice as sharp as a knife. "But I would certainly understand if you wanted to leave before the storm gets any worse." It was evident that her self-control was teetering on the edge.

Lily was obviously confused at the change in her mother's demeanor. She looked between her mother and Severus, trying to figure out what she had done wrong. Lupin stood and said quietly, comfortingly, "Let's go, honey."

Slowly she slid down from her chair and walked around Severus. Before she reached her father's outstretched hand, however, she turned back and threw her arms around Severus' waist. "Good night, Mr. Hawke. I'm sorry I got you in trouble. I hope you can come back; I like you."

He gulped and as her father led her to the stairs, he whispered, "Good night, little one."

Lupin was the last one in the room and looked back. Holding up his hand, he indicated that Severus should wait.

To hell with that. Severus felt riveted to his chair. A strange silence prevailed in the kitchen, but outside he could hear the pounding rain and howling wind. Perhaps leaving wasn't the best tactic. Surely the angry Auror activated some Guarding Charms, or Tracking Charms, or... What he needed was information.

He stood and quietly approached the bottom of the staircase. Eavesdropping wasn't an honest form of gathering information, but it was usually the most effective. Gently testing his weight on the bottom step, he heard voices from upstairs. Lupin's quiet voice and indistinguishable words told him that they weren't at the top of the stairs but rather in a room with a door open.

"...You even told him how to get through the Fidelus Charm! Where we live! Don't you realize you have endangered your own children? Lily! And Cassie!"

He couldn't make out Lupin's reply. Perhaps if he were to get closer...but he decided against it. He didn't know if the steps creaked, and he definitely didn't want to be on the staircase when Tonks came out of the room.

"Yes, he did," Tonks replied. Her voice was even louder now. "Quite a handy piece of evidence to come up with, don't you think? Severus Snape has always been a terrific actor. He played his loyalty to the Order oh so perfectly for so many years."

Lupin's words were undistinguishable again.

"The fact he is able to caress a baby's cheek doesn't prove anything!"

He didn't hear what Lupin was saying, but Tonks' angry answer was hard to miss. "Fine! Don't share whatever your reasoning is. But I can't help you. You've manipulated me into a rather precarious situation as an Auror just because you wanted to play detective. Just remember, if you're wrong, you will have put the whole wizarding world into grave danger!"

This time Lupin's reply was much longer, but all Severus could understand was the tone of his voice--peaceful and soothing. When Tonks spoke again, her voice was quieter and very tired. Severus had to listen carefully to her words. "All right, this evening is yours, but he leaves our house right now. I don't want to see him anymore tonight. We'll save any decisions for tomorrow. But please, please don't forget that the last man who trusted him ended up dead."

Severus clenched his fists. That hurt. A lot. Swiftly he turned away and summoned his coat. He had just opened his car door when it slammed shut on him. Behind him, Lupin was pocketing his wand as he hurried to catch up. The sheet of rain blurred his outline, but it was obvious that he was coatless and soaked. Severus had no pity.

"What in the hell was that?" he asked, pointing angrily at the house.

Lupin was obviously confused for a bit. Whatever he was expecting, it wasn't that.

"For God's sake, Lupin, what was that for? Why bring me all the way out here for a cozy family dinner just to out me to the head of the Auror department? You could have done just as well at the Ministry!"

Lupin crossed his arms and stepped back appraisingly. "Would you rather I had?"

Apparently that wasn't a rhetorical question. He definitely expected an answer. Pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, Severus felt his anger slowly dissipate and sighed. "Just...what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that Severus Snape is neither philanthropist nor fool. Whatever brought him out of hiding and into the walls of the Ministry must be serious business. I wanted to know what that business was."

"You're an arshole."

"And apparently, a poor strategist." Lupin shrugged. "Severus, look. I know you have no reason to trust me. And that you resent the hell out of me. But shit's going down, and we don't have time to play the ally-or-enemy game. For what it's worth, I'm not going to turn you in."

"And Ms. Tonks?"

"She'll be keeping an eye on you." Severus raised an eyebrow at Lupin's admission. "But she's not turning you in, either. At great risk to her career, I might add." Lupin's stern look clearly told him not to take that for granted and do something stupid.

He scoffed in return. "How generous."

Did he trust an old enemy or not? Lupin seemed sincere enough. The Aurors hadn't rushed in yet, and he did take a huge risk of lifting the Fidelius Charm for a convicted murderer. I'm out of practice. Firmly grasping his wand in his pocket, he tried a bit of Legilimency to determine the truth of Lupin's intentions. He was incredibly rusty, but Lupin kept eye contact. He was getting feelings of sincerity, and...remorse?

Digging deeper, he tried to look for reasons why Lupin would trust him now.

"Because anyone in your position and in their right mind would be on a plane to New Zealand by now." Lupin answered aloud. "Unless they had a damned good reason to stay."

He scowled. Damn, he forgot Lupin knew Legilimency, too. He let a moment of silence pass before he answered, "Okay, then."

"Okay what?"

"Bleeding hell, Lupin, you don't expect me to pour my heart and soul right here in the rain, do you? It's fucking freezing out here!" He glared at Lupin as if the cold were his fault and wrapped his arms around himself.

Lupin cracked a grin. "Come on. There's a pub down the road. I'll buy you a pint. Merlin knows, I owe you one."

Severus opened the driver's door. "You owe me more than just one," he mumbled. "You'd better have one hell of a bar tab."