Okay again my apologies for the lack of updates. I'm so sorry! But to make it up to you I have a post! Hope you like it and yes I'm sorry I know this fiction has been drama free till now actually till the last post but it's still Newport and the way I see it drama only makes it a little more fun to read. I'll stop rambling now! Review please, love Noor!

Chapter 7: The visit.

Kirsten was staring out the window with her cup of coffee in one hand she had been stressed the last couple of weeks. Her mom had cancer. Her mom was doing chemo. Her mom's hair was falling out. Her mom threw up every 5 minutes. Her mom looked pale. Her mom was weak. Her mom's hands were always trembling. Her mom had bags under her eyes. Her mom couldn't play with her sons anymore. And worst of all her mom was not her mom. She was always groggily which was completely understandable but Kirsten had never seen her that way ever. Even when she had fought with her dad she would always stay clam and these last couple of weeks her mom had turned into someone else someone who was weak and scared. A woman who wanted to die and leave everything behind. A woman who had yelled at her grandchildren and almost slapped one of them in their face. A woman that was loosing it. She was Kirsten's mom but she didn't act like it, but how could she, she had cancer for god sakes she was supposed to be weak she was supposed to be groggy she was supposed to be mad whenever she wanted to be. For some odd reason Kirsten could not understand she was mad at her mother disappointed even she knew she had no right to be but still she couldn't help herself.

When her mother had raised her hand to slap Seth, Ryan had jumped in front of him her father had taken her hand in his. Ryan and Seth had been standing behind their grandfather eyes closed and their hands tightly gripped around his legs. Caleb had turned to see his frightened grandchildren as had Nicole she had cried so hard and since that faithful day had been to ashamed to talk to anyone or even see anyone. Caleb had told Kirsten that her mother had been sleeping in the guest bedroom ever since she only came out to pie and to drink some water and eat something and of course for her chemo.

Kirsten felt tears trickle down her face how could such a strong woman become such a weak little girl. She was brought back to reality when she felt to little arms wrap around her leg. She smiled down at him and set her coffee on the counter she then scooped him into her arms and he rested on her hip.

Ryan: Mommy?

Kirsten: Yeah sweetie?

Ryan: Are we okay?

Kirsten felt more tears sting in her eyes when she saw how scared he was his big blue eyes looking hers wanting her to say something that would make him feel good. She smiled at him and kissed him on his lips.

Kirsten: Yes we are okay.

Ryan smiled a little and then sighed with relief but still not completely convinced.

Ryan: Good. Can we see grandma today?

Kirsten: I don't know sweetie.

Ryan: Why not?

Kirsten: You know I told you grandma is not feeling really well.

Ryan: But she will feel better if we go see her.

Seth: Yeah mommy she will.

Seth came into the kitchen wearing his Spiderman pyjama pants and a Spiderman t-shirt. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and yawned. He walked over to his mom. Kirsten sat Ryan on the counter and Seth next to him.

Kirsten: Well then we'll go to grandma.

Kirsten, Sandy, Ryan and Seth were seated in the living room of the Nichols. Caleb was making everyone something to drink the stress had gotten to him as well he was tired he was looked tousled. He had not slept well a single night he had heard his wife crying his once strong wife but now she was just weak and ashamed he tried to talk to her but every time he did they ended up fighting. Caleb poured coffee into mugs for himself, Kirsten and Sandy. He made some hot chocolate milk for Ryan and Seth. He walked through the room expecting to see them still sitting on the couch, but was faced with no one. He heard some voices coming from upstairs.

He walked up the stairs and saw the door to the guest bedroom was open he stood in the doorway letting everything sink into him. He looked at the scene unfolding itself in front of him. Nicole had her two grandchildren in her arms sobbing uncontrollably. She had never meant to hurt any of them she never wanted to hit them either of them. Seth was just talking so much at that moment she just didn't realise she had raised her hand she had never ever laid one hand on anyone in a violent way. And now she was a grandmother who almost hit her own grandchild of 5 years old. She couldn't think back to that day. She needed to be with her grandchildren and her family as long as she still had. She knew she didn't have long her body told her. The doctors were telling her different but her body told her it was over and she knew deep down she knew it had been all along she just never wanted to admit she wanted to fight. She had only opened the door to the guest bedroom because she had faced whatever was coming at her because she knew it was over. She wasn't going to see her grandchildren go to high school; she wasn't going to her about their first kiss, their first love, their graduation, their first fight, their first A, their first F, their time in college. She wasn't going to witness their marriage, their children. She was simply not going to watch them grow up, because she would be gone. So now she held them as long as she could not wanting to let go because knowing that if she did she would be faced with reality again. The cruel reality that didn't allow her to be with her family that didn't allow her to watch the most precious boys in the entire universe grow. And that shamed her, she was no longer the strong and divided woman she always was she was weak and she hated being weak. She hated having no control over her body, emotions, and her life.

Nicole: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

Ryan and Seth didn't know what was going on they just knew that their Grandma was not herself and she was sad which made them sad and so they cried not really knowing why but they cried in her arms they cried. Kirsten looked at Sandy seeing a tear trickle down his face she leaned against him and let her emotions come without hesitation. She knew deep down that this was it, she was losing her mother, the woman she had always looked up to, she was loosing the woman she had spent 18 years and still spent some days with she was loosing her one and only rock she could always count on.

Okay I wrote it and I'm actually crying…please review and tell me what you think! Love Noor!