A/N Thanks for all the reviews guys! You rock. Here, as promised, we get to climb inside Cristina's head

Cristina:

The first thing he'd been for her was a symbolic figure. He symbolized everything she wanted to become – a brilliant surgeon who was renowned and suspected. A pioneer of new surgical methods, and an attending at a relatively young age. Not just an attending, but head of a department.

She knew that to surpass her fellow interns, she'd need to be bold. So at the 'meet and greet' ball that the hospital threw for the new interns the night before they started, she was ready. Whilst everyone else was socializing, she was on a mission: to personally introduce herself to all the significant surgeons, the ones who she wanted to study under. And she was aiming higher than just residents.

After introducing (or perhaps steamrolling a conversation) with Richard Webber, the Chief of Surgery, she sought out a few significant attendings. There were two that most surgical interns were dying to study under. One was the new head of neurosurgery, a hot shot from New York, Derek Shepherd.

The other was the head of cardiothoracic surgery, Preston Burke. His reputation for brilliance preceded him – as did his arrogance. But that didn't phase Cristina. She reasoned that any great surgeon could be justifiably arrogant. She introduced herself, and emphasized her wish to learn from him. Perhaps she interrupted him and his date – but so what? He was a surgeon. That came first for her, and she was sure it did for him too.

Perhaps someone less driven would have been distracted by something other than his brilliant credentials when first meeting him. Burke was more than an impressive surgeon, he also had an impressive physique. Tall a broad-shouldered, with a handsome face, he dominated the room. A smile from him, though rare, was genuine.

Cristina reflected a month or so into the program about when he moved from being a symbol, to a distraction. She would've killed for that surgery on the first day of work – but Bambi got it. A few weeks later, they went over his head to the chief. Perhaps not the wisest move, but she ultimately got to scrub in on a harvest surgery anyway. During the procedure, she fixated on his hands. Swift, skilled, precise. She was more determined than ever to gain that level of perfection.

When she snatched Liz Fallon from under the nose of her fellow interns – ha! – she was ecstatic at the thought of scrubbing in on a whipple surgery. They would be so jealous. Plus, she wanted to see Burke in action again. She was hungry to learn, and so far, she thought he was the best teacher, when he'd give them the time of day. She was yet to learn that Bailey was giving them their most valuable lessons, most moments of every day.

What she hadn't expected was Burke to be so damned slow about the whole thing – telling her to follow up on inane tests, even sending her out from viewing the coolest surgery ever – removing nails from a guys head! – so she could get test results.

Liz Fallon read Cristina like an open book. But it didn't phase Cristina. Sure, it embarrassed her when she flaunted it in front of Burke. But she wanted that surgery. Liz Fallon was a strong willed woman, and Cristina could relate to that. She could respect that. What she couldn't relate to were the people that crowded around Liz's hospital bed, but everyone had to start somewhere.

"This hospital's got you interns by the balls," she told Cristina as she took her for an examination. "And it's easiest to get ahead if you've got nothing tying you down. Look at the determination in you eyes, girl! You want to get so far ahead you'll slam the door shut in anyone's face, won't you? Let me guess, no-one gets too close to you?"

"I do what I have to do," she answered shortly.

Though she was starting to get on her nerves a little, she was shocked when she realized why Liz Fallon was back in Seattle Grace – to die. She was so bewildered that she forgot to be pissed off at Burke for falsely misleading her about a surgery. She thought she'd seen something of a kindred spirit in Liz – a strong spirit, a fighting spirit. But this woman just surrendered to the cancer. Cristina would never surrender like that. She was adamant. She was a fighter. How could Liz just roll over and accept the consequences? You couldn't be a victim in life.

She rolled her eyes at herself. This is what she got for trying to identify with a patient. Screw Bailey's advice, it was back to cold detachment from now on.

Instinct took over when Liz Fallon was crashing. She'd trained for eight years to save lives. And Liz was a strong woman. She deserved a fighting chance. She didn't know why everyone else, especially the nurses were being so utterly useless, just standing there, insisting she was DNR. A deeper and firmer voice joined these, but Cristina had a singular focus. Getting that damn heart beating again. She was shaken from this when someone actually grabbed her, and pulled her back. Burke's eyes flashed with anger as he ordered her to not resuscitate.

She glared at him, and shrugged him off. She felt an odd sensation rising in her chest. She tried not to choke on her words, as she called the time of death, and left the room in a hurry. She sought refuge in the nearest bathroom, and leant her forehead against the door of the stall. She focused on the feeling of the cool metal, and concentrated on keeping her breathing steady. She'd just called her first death. She'd spent four years at med school, working her body to exhaustion so that she'd know how to save lives, whatever the situation.

She'd just called her first death. And the patient – Liz, she had wanted to die. She wanted it to end.

Knowing what would happen if she stood there wallowing one damn second longer, Cristina banged out of the bathroom, and into the stairwell, determined to find Bailey, to find something practical to do. She tried to continue past Burke, but he did it again: reaching out to take a hold of her, gripping her upper arms, more gently this time. After he was sure he had her attention, he released her. "We have to let her go."

How could his voice be so steady? He'd been like that in the room too. She knew her eyes were tinged with sadness as she met his. She found her breath hitched in her throat, for an entirely different reason this time. Oh, god. Nothing about this day made sense. She had to get out of there.

When did she start noticing Dr. Burke like that? Noticing when he strode by in the halls, always stoic, and businesslike. But she began to see beneath the surface, when his eyes flickered to her. Sure, she should be impressed by him. Any sane person aspiring to be a great surgeon would. But why were those lingering looks getting under her skin?

She decided to ignore it. She was tired, and probably just PMS. She hurriedly filled in a chart at the nurses station one day, when a dark hand began to slide a coffee cup towards her.

What the…she looked up to Dr. Burke standing next to her, casually sipping his coffee. She just stared at him, unsure of what else to do. He'd bought her coffee. Was there really more to this, than just sustained glances? She mentally shook herself. He was an attending, bringing her coffee.

No, that didn't make much more sense.

"It's just coffee."

Of all the things to say…oh crap, it's my turn to talk now…"good," she replied.

"Ok." He picked up his cup and left.

"Ok." She glanced at the cup for a moment. Just coffee? Well, who was she to waste it. She picked it up and sipped it as she walked away. A mocha latte, her favourite.

That man was good.

A/N Of course he's good! He's Burke. Speaking of which, we're back to the sexiest man alive next chapter. Woohoo.