Logan wanted answers, it had been several days since the incident with Jean and no one except the Professor and Blue, who had taken time off from his government job to be here, had been allowed in to see her. When asked all they would say was that she was doing well and she just needed some time.
Just needed some time. Time for what exactly? Time to get over the shock of losing the man she loved to one of her best friends? Time to plan her next attack? Shit, he didn't know but he was sure as hell about to find out. Logan pushed open the door to the outer lab.
"Hey Blue you got a second," he asked?
"Logan my good man of course I have a moment for you. How can I help you?" Hank asked without looking up from the files he was working on.
"You can tell me what's really going on with Jeannie or better yet you can let me see her," Logan responded.
Hank laid aside the files he was reviewing and turned his full attention to Logan.
"Logan," Hank sighed. "You know everything there is to know about what is happening with Jean. The Professor and I have both told you that she is doing well and that she just needs a little time to herself right now and I am sorry to say that she has requested no visitors for the time being."
"She requested…she can't stay locked up here in forever, she's going to have to face everyone eventually."
"She has no intention of staying here, Logan," Hank sighed, "she'll face everyone when she's ready." Hank frowned down at Logan. "We need to allow her to do this at her own pace and in her own way. Give her some space Logan; allow her to handle this in her own fashion and not how you think she should."
"I just want…"
"Logan this is not about what you want," Hank stated.
"I know that…"
"Hank?" Jean asked as she interrupted Logan's response.
"It's all right Jean. Logan just came down to ask me a few questions. He's leaving now." Hank sent Logan a pointed look, which he ignored.
"No I didn't and no I'm not," he turned to Jean, "I came down here to see you."
"Well now you've seen her and you can go," Hanks tone and body language conveyed his exasperation with Logan.
"Hank, it's okay." Jean smiled at Hank and then turned back to Logan. "Come in."
Jean led Logan into the inner lab and across the floor to one of the private recovery rooms. Entering she sits down on the bed and looks up at Logan standing in the doorway.
"What can I do for you Logan?"
"I just wanted to make sure that you were doing okay. Wheels and Blue said you were but I wanted to see for myself."
"Well as you can see I'm here, I'm in one piece and I'm not attacking anyone. So I must be doing pretty well. Wouldn't you say?" Jean asked sarcastically.
Logan's only response to her sarcastic tone is a raised eyebrow and a slight tilting of his head to the side.
Jean responds to his unspoken inquiry by crossing her arms defensively in front of her and huffing loudly.
Logan leans against the door jam, standing quietly for a few moments as he waits for Jean to answer his questions. Seeing that she is not going to respond, Logan shrugs and decides to try and get answers to others questions that he has.
"So you want to tell me what the hell happened the other night?"
Jean's eyes jerked up to meet Logan's for a few seconds before dropping guiltily away.
"I'm not sure that I can." Jean says.
"Come on Jeannie, just tell me why. Why'd you do it? Why'd you have to let her loose and go at Summers like that?" Logan waited as Jean looked everywhere but at him, just when he thought she wasn't going to, she answered.
"I had to. I couldn't loose him Logan. I know I said that I was ready to let him go and move on with his life, and I probably could have if he would have chosen anyone but Ororo."
"What? What in the hell is that supposed to mean?" Logan asked in obvious confusion.
"It means just what I said Logan. If it had been anyone but Ororo I could have handled it, but not her never her."
Logan continued to look at Jean, confusion written plainly across his face.
Jean sighed and tried to explain.
"I know you don't understand; but I couldn't let him go to Ororo. If it would have been anyone else besides her I could have accepted it, it would have been hard but I could have dealt with it because I would have still have had a chance with him. But with Ororo that chance, that small hope is gone." Jean's lips twisted into a parody of a smile. "Scott and I have a long history, there's so much that we have shared, friendship, passion, anger, joy, sorrow, and love." Jean snorted. "In some ways Logan, I know him better than he knows himself and there is no other woman out there who can compete with the history that we have together, no one that is except Ororo.
Jean rose from the bed and started pacing back and forth across the room in front of Logan.
"Ororo not only shares with him much of the same things that I did, history, friendship, anger, love and as I now know passion; she also shares his need for control, his love of the X-Men and the Professors vision of the future. I even think that in some ways she knows him even better that I do. They are so much alike and he knows that he can trust her, that she'll never treat him the way that I did; she loves him too much to do that to him and her honor would never her allow her to act in such a manner."
Logan watched as Jean suddenly stopped pacing and turned to face him.
"You know none of you ever asked why, why did the Phoenix attack him, after calling out to him for weeks for help, none of you ever asked why she…I attacked him at Alkali Lake. Didn't any of you ever wonder?"
Logan frowned at her abrupt change of topic.
"No, we just…." Logan started to answer but broke off as Jean continued as if he had never spoken.
"Because I can tell you why. I can tell you exactly why it happened," Jean stated.
Logan considered Jean for a moment and then gestured for her to continue; as this was obviously something she needed to say.
"When Scott freed us from the lake we were both there the Phoenix and I, I would like to say that I had control but at that time I'm not sure if either of one us had it completely. Scott was so happy to see me, his mind so open when we kissed that we couldn't resist reading his thoughts, his memories. We saw and felt everything that he had experienced while I was gone; the pain he endured at my passing, his inability to handle his grief and his belief that he was loosing his mind because he kept hearing us calling out to him. Then I saw something that hurt so much that I couldn't handle it and I ran, hid inside my own mind and that allowed the Phoenix to take charge. She didn't run, she didn't hide she got angry, she wanted to make him pay for what he had done and she tried to destroy him. I didn't realize what she was doing at first, not until I heard him yelling my name. As soon as I saw what she was trying to do, I stopped her. I couldn't let her hurt him because of that; I had no right. I had died and he owed me nothing." Jean's voice tapered off and she appeared to be lost in her own thoughts.
"Jeannie," Logan inquired. Getting no response he levered himself from the door frame and approached her. "Jeannie what did he do? What hurt that badly?" he asked.
Jean looked up at Logan tears in her eyes and lips pulled into a grimace.
"He slept with Ororo." She stated.