Okay so I think you will want to kill me again! Kind of awhile ago since I posted on this one! I know I know!! Sorry sorry…anyways here is a new post the drama is not over yet. But how could it be it's Newport…well anyway thanks so much for all your reviews and I hope you'll like this post!! Love yah Noor!! By the way I skipped 2 years so the boys are now 8!

Chapter 8: The rage

Ryan and Seth were sitting in the living room both thinking of the same thing and neither knew it.

Ryan watched the cartoons that were passing by on the large plasma screen. He didn't get into anything his mind was racing as fast as it could. His grandmother had died a week ago and he didn't know how to feel. He didn't know whether to be mad or sad. He knew everyone else was sad but he didn't know if he could. Ryan looked at his twin brother and saw the tears that were forming in his eyes. He would cry everyday and his mom or dad would hug him and tell him everything would be alright and that one day they all got to see their grandma in heaven, because that is where she was now. Ryan didn't believe one word of it. Heaven was a place where God lived and if there would be heaven than there also would be a god and well quite frankly Ryan didn't believe that any God would take away his grandmother.

Seth could feel the tears well up in his eyes again. He couldn't believe that his grandma was really gone. Everything just happened so fast first she was sick then she got better and then suddenly after 2 years she got sick again and she died. Seth looked back at Ryan and saw him sitting and staring the same way he had for over a week now. He didn't talk to anyone unless he had to, he didn't want to do anything with Marissa, Luke, Summer and himself. Ryan was scaring Seth he had become this brother who you could read anymore. As hard as Seth wanted to know what his brother was thinking he just simply couldn't.

'We are gathered here today to give our last respects to a very beloved wife, mother, grandmother, mother in law and our dear friend. Nicole Nichol. She has been the most genuine woman that anyone could ever know. The way her eyes lit up when she saw her grandchildren those eyes are the ones were going to miss. I'm sure she can make everyone happy in heaven with one look of those beautiful eyes.' Sandy said.

Sandy looked at his family and felt a pain go through him that he had never had before he wanted to protect his wife and sons for all of this but he couldn't and he knew he couldn't. Sandy watched Kirsten who was sobbing on Julie's shoulder with Seth on her lap. Caleb sat next to her and held his daughter's shoulder. Next to Caleb sat Hailey, who had come back for her mother's funeral. He saw his curly and normally very chipper son sit on his mother's legs and he held her tight sobbing in the crook of her neck. Sandy then looked at his other son who sat at the end of the bench looking down. Next to him sat Marissa who held his hand. Sandy had a little smile on his face but it soon faded when he saw Kirsten come up to give her speech.

Kirsten looked at her two sons from the kitchen and didn't know what to do what could she do. She was dealing with everything herself, she couldn't even wrap her mind around everything and she was an adult. She saw Seth he got up and walked over to her he needed a hug. Kirsten bend down and scooped Seth in her delicate arms. Seth sobbed on her chest. Kirsten rubbed his back gently knowing it would be just a matter of minutes he would calm down again. It became a routine for them Seth would walk over to her and would want to cry Kirsten would comfort him and hold him very tight. She actually felt she was doing something right with Seth, Ryan was a different story she felt utterly helpless with him and so did Sandy.

Sandy walked into the kitchen and saw his wife hug one of their sons. Sandy made his way to both of them and kissed each on their heads. Seth had calmed down already, but he still held his mother very tight not wanting to let go. Sandy watched Kirsten's worried expression he followed her gaze and it landed upon his sandy blond haired son. He was watching some cartoons without actually watching them.

'Sandy I'm getting worried he hasn't said anything, since I don't even know anymore' Kirsten said her voice beginning to quiver.

'Honey don't worry he'll be fine he just needs to get over things it's hard on him too and he deals with it this way' Sandy said in a reassuring voice.

'What way Sandy? By staring into space not talking to us and hiding all his feelings you know at one point he will burst' worry over took Kirsten's voice.

'Well what do you want us to do? We can't force him to talk to us…' Sandy looked at his son one more time he shook his head and then looked back at his wife and other son who both had worried expressions written all over them.

Seth tried to get out of his mother's arms. Kirsten set him back down on the ground. Seth looked at his parents and said 'I'll try'. Sandy and Kirsten saw the determination but also the fear that was written in their sons eyes. He walked over to Ryan who immediately stood up he had heard every word off their conversation, he didn't understand what he was doing wrong he just wanted to protect them. He didn't want his mommy and daddy to worry about him as well.

'Ryan…where are you going' Seth asked uncertain as to how Ryan might react.

'I'm just going to play some soccer' Ryan said rather quickly not wanting to deal with anything that was coming.

'Alone?'

'Yeah alone…' Ryan walked as fast as he could and he was hoping that Seth would give up and do something else. But he heard Seth's footsteps following him.

'What?' Ryan asked rather bluntly.

'I just want to come with you'

'You hate soccer' Ryan said trying to think of an excuse to get him away he just needed some alone time. He just needed to be unaccompanied especially right now.

'That's not true I love to watch you' Seth said a devious smile making its way across his face.

'Fine!'

Ryan and Seth were playing some ball at the driveway. Well actually Ryan was playing and Seth was watching. Seth couldn't take this anymore Ryan just had to talk to him.

'Ryan! Stop it!!' Seth practically screamed even shocking himself.

Ryan stopped playing and looked at Seth 'Don't do this Seth please don't do this' he thought to himself.

'What? Stop what?' Ryan asked acting dumb.

'This you're too silent…I like to be stealth but you're not stealth. You're scary, you're scaring me and mommy and daddy.' Seth looked down at his feet and felt the tears start to burn in his eyes again. He looked back up at Ryan who was now standing in front of him.

'I'm not scary' Ryan said he wasn't scary he just wanted to be on his own he was just trying to protect everyone he didn't want his mom and dad worrying about him as well. He just didn't want to be a burden, that didn't make him scary…right?

'Well you're scaring me…I just want you to talk…' Seth said his voice was beginning to quiver he didn't know what was happening everything was happening all at once. His grandma died and now he didn't even recognize his own brother. They were supposed to be best friends and they were brothers. Best friends tell each other everything and Seth had told Ryan how he felt but he only received an 'It's all going to be fine' Ryan never told him how he was feeling.

'I don't want to talk' Ryan looked down at his feet. Why did he think he couldn't let his emotions come out why did he think he had to be strong? There was no need to be strong his grandma had died he didn't have to be strong and yet he still needed to be strong.

'Ryan grandma Nic died!!! She died she's in heaven talk about that!!!' Seth was loosing his patients every time acted this way. He looked at Ryan and saw something change in his eyes he couldn't quite make out what it was though.

Seth's words hit Ryan as a bullet that went straight to his heart, 'why did you have to say that Seth' Ryan thought to himself. He remembered the day still so vividly.

'Mom…I'm so sorry that I have to say goodbye to you already. You were taking from us far too soon. I just want you to know that you'll always be in my heart in our heart and we will carry you with us wherever we go. I love you' Kirsten wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. She walked over to the coffin and kissed it.

'Ryan you're not nice anymore' Seth said, he did his best to be strong and he wanted to help Ryan but he just couldn't handle this anymore. He didn't want to loose his brother and best friend. Ryan was building a wall around him and Seth didn't want that.

'Goodbye Grandma I will always love you' Ryan said quietly and threw his rose on the coffin.

Seth was still telling Ryan how stupid he was being and how selfish. Ryan couldn't take it anymore and was starting to loose his temper. A lot of things were going through his head right now. He heard his mom crying, he heard Seth crying, he then heard his grandma say goodbye and tell him all the things she wanted him to do. Ryan could feel his own tears starting to form. He fist were clenched and he took a step closer to the first thing he saw in front of him and took a swing at it. The thing immediately landed on the ground and cried.

Ryan felt a lot of emotions being weight of his shoulder until he saw his brother sitting on the ground with a lip that was bleeding and tears that were streaming down his face. Marissa was just coming to stop by when she saw something she had never witnessed before and wished never to see it again. Ryan just punched his own brother, his best friend, his flesh and blood.

Marissa rushed over to Seth she didn't know what she should do so she just screamed for Sandy and Kirsten who were standing next to them within seconds.

'Oh my God!! Seth sweetie are you okay?' Kirsten asked panic overtaking her voice.

Seth crawled onto his mother's lap and held her tight again. Kirsten looked at Marissa and from Marissa she looked at Ryan who was glued to the spot.

Ryan felt someone take him away by his arms. When he looked at who it was it was his father looking humid more then ever. Ryan didn't say anything he didn't say that he was sorry and he didn't say that his dad was hurting him he just looked back at his brother and felt guiltier then ever.

Okay so that was a little dark I know but then again what can I do then make it dark their grandma died…and I also wanted to show you that Ryan is Ryan he is the way he is he has to deal with his rage. Come on give it to me!! I'm dying to know what you think!! Love Noor