Chapter 9: I'm a Mistake
Stella walks into the kitchen, her wet hair returning to its normal curliness after her shower. Mac is setting the table, back to her. "Can I help?"
He jumps. "No, I've got it."
"It's take out, Mac. We don't have to be all fancy."
"This is nothing compared to what Claire would do," he tells her, going to the counter to get the food.
She remembers the few times that they had insisted she have dinner with them. "You don't do this everyday, do you?"
"No, just because I have a guest."
"You really don't have to do this. I mean, you've seen how fancy it is when I've cooked you dinner."
"Stella, that's not fancy."
"It was sarcasm, Mac," she sits down in the chair he pulls out for her.
As they eat their Chinese food, they talk about the day's events and what happened to her when she was kidnapped. After they finish cleaning up, Stella lies down on the couch, ready to fall asleep.
Mac watches her, smiling. "Don't fall asleep there, or I'll have to move you."
"Why? I'm fine right here, or I will be once I find a blanket," she doesn't open her eyes.
He grabs one from the back of a chair and places it on top of her. "I don't understand why you can't get up and move to my bed now so I don't wake you up when I move you."
"Just leave me here, or you're going to have to put up with me all night when you wake me up 'cause I'm not going to be able to fall asleep again."
"And we all know how grumpy you'll be tomorrow without sleep."
"All the more reason not to move me. Now shut up, and let me sleep," she twists so she is lying on her side, away from the light.
"Good thing I won't have to put up with you tomorrow. And neither will anyone else," he teases.
"Are you trying to tell me you're going to purposely work late tomorrow?" Stella mumbles.
"Yes. I'll leave you a list of rules in the kitchen tomorrow morning so I know you won't get into trouble while I'm gone."
"Like what? I'm not going to do anything stupid that'll help him find me."
"First, you can't go outside my apartment."
"Wasn't planning on it unless my father ends up in here somehow," she rolls back over to face him.
For the first time, Mac sees the sadness and fear in her green eyes. "Stel, it's okay for you to be scared of him."
"I'm not," she snaps, not wanting him to think of her as weak.
"You are. He wants to kill you for no reason; anyone would be afraid. Don't hide it from me."
"I guess I was better off in an orphanage than with him. I always thought my life would be better if I was with my parents. Now, all I want is to forget this day, not to know that my mother is dead and that my father killed her and is after me."
He sits down beside her and holds her close to him. "It's not your fault, Stella. He may blame you for whatever it is that caused him to kill her and come after you, but in the end, it's his own fault; if he would've used protection, she wouldn't have gotten pregnant with you." It was a big mistake to say this to her.
"My whole life is a mistake; I shouldn't even exist," Stella takes a deep breath to hold in the tears. "No one wants me anyway."
"That's not true, and you know it. I'm glad to have you by my side; I'd be dead without you here with me."
"No one wanted me when I was born, and I'll die of HIV with only one person who's going to miss me. What a way to live."
Mac, not knowing how what to say to help her, let's her cry into his shoulder. He rubs her back gently.
Finally, she lifts her head. "He told me I look a lot like her."
"Very true. If it helps you to know, you don't look at all like your father."
"Can I see her?"
A/N: Three more chapters to go. I'm printing out millions of stories from like Christmas time that I have saved to add to my collection. I can barely read them the font is so small. It's like 4.5 or something; I'm trying to reduce the amount of paper I use to print out fanfiction. By the time I get all of this printed out, I'll have another pile of stories to do. I actually don't know what's on my favorites list right now, or rather how many I have on there. And I'm trying to tape one scene of Wednesday's NY where she gets tested and then probably the one where she finds out it's negative. The stupid printer is too loud though so I have to wait. I've got a cassette tape of Mac and Stella scenes, or what they say. What will I do next week when I'm going to want the whole episode practically, or at least all the Stella scenes with her past? I'll have to flip the tape over; she can't be on more that a half an hour total of the show. Or maybe she can. But once you take out the commercials the show can't be more than fourty-five minutes. I still haven't finished Lord of the Flies. I got through ten pages in a half an hour last night. I also have to remember to take the flan out of the oven in less than an hour; that's what I have to make for Cinco de Mayo and we're making sure we understand the recipe. Finally, the printing of half of it is over. I'll update again tomorrow.