Disclaimer: I do not own Trinity Blood or its characters.
I am back! The Night Lords arc and someone has her own column. Do you think Cartago ever recovered from that diplomatic visit? An apology from the VBI? Is the apocalypse upon us again?
The Trinity Times
Issue 14
Letter from the Vice Editor
A piece of good news: our paper's circulation has extended into Eastern Europe. To kick off our launch in Eastern Europe, we will be featuring a series of actual letters from a young girl from Byzantinum, the walled capital city of the Empire. With your prayers we hope to extend our reach and goodwill further. In addition, my fellow editor will issue an official apology to the good citizens of Cartago
– Duchess of Milan
APOLOGY NOTICE
The Vatican offers sincerest apologies for any damage or distress caused as a result of decisions taken by a rogue patrol of the Inquisition. However, we rule out compensation for any beach bungalows damaged in any raids for vampires. – Vatican Bureau of Inquisitions
CARDINAL SORFAZ RETURNS TO ROME
Cardinal Sorfaz has returned to Rome after a gruelling diplomatic tour. The tour has fostered better relations between the European countries and the Vatican, with the notable exception of Cartago, which is still smarting from the highhanded treatment received from the Bureau of Inquisition. The Cardinal was greeted the airfield by her brother, Cardinal Francesco di Medici. The welcome was characteristically dignified and cool, as have always characterised the relationship between the pair.
However, inside sources claim that Lady Catherina's Cartago visit was not as fruitless as thought. An unidentified member of the Cartago Council was said to have been escorted by Inquisition captain Brother Petros to meet the cardinal for secret trade negotiations. Brother Petros has remained tight-lipped when interviewed in the hospital where he was recuperating from a misadventure involving a Goliath tank. The mystery visitor is believed to be the youthful blond Benjamin al-Shalom or his equally blond and youthful cousin Lady Sara, rising councillors in the conservative city council. The duo is known for their radical roots and favour of continued Vatican power as a stabilizing force in the region. Both have denied the meeting.
Inquisition Law Lifted in Cartago
Political Chaos
The citizenry of Cartago welcome the lifting of military rule with the withdrawal of the last battalion of Inquisition guards by the Vatican. The Cartago Council has voted on the issue of autonomy for the city this morning and the results are overwhelmingly in favour of a total withdrawal of all Vatican control. The city of Cartago has been under self-rule for the past fifty years with essential defence and trade managed by the Church. This decision brought about a significant change in power dynamics of the Middle East.
Hours after the decision was announced, known Vatican sympathizer, Lady Sara al-Shalom, was attacked and lynched by supporters of the conservative wing of the Cartago Council. Her cousin and fellow councillor, Benjamin al-Shalom, avenged his kinswoman's death by having Conservative leader Emir Ismaeel Saladin's house firebombed. By evening, both Reformist and Conservative parties and their supporters were rioting in the streets of Cartago. At press time, the death toll is in the hundreds and neither al-Shalom nor Saladin is willing to call a truce.
Weather forecasts predict a major sandstorm in the coming week. The storm is expected to bear down on Cartago. Authorities have yet to call for an evacuation as they are too busy killing each other.
Von Kampfer Family Return from the Dead Shocker: Macabre Prank?
Berlin- World class Methuselah pianist Ingerta Hildegrade von Kampfer was admitted to hospital in a state of severe shock after returning from the Berlin Concert Hall to find the bodies of her deceased sons propped up in her parlour. Investigators find no signs of forced entry to the residence. The twins' bodies were among those spirited away from Methuselah crypts in a recent spate of bodysnatching. The bodies showed signs of being dissected and hastily snitched together. Speculation is rife that Lady Ingerta was the victim of a malicious prank, though no one can explain why a charitable patron of the arts and music was targeted in such a cruel manner. The other families affected by the body snatchers did not report any return of their loved ones.
(Somewhere, Isaak reads this issue and mumbles something about killing a certain puppeteer in a slow and very painful manner.)
Letter from Behind the Wall
Dear readers,
As a humble tea-seller, I am honoured that I am given a chance to introduce my hometown to the outside world. I am an average young girl living in Byzantinum. I know what some of you may be thinking; but no, Terrans are not oppressed by the Methuselah nobility or anything. In fact, both races have equal rights and privileges in the eyes of the law… okay, maybe Terrans get preferential medical treatment at the hospital, since Methuselahs hardly get ill or injured enough to warrant medical treatment (unless it's an accident with some silverware). Alright, maybe we do have some minor differences. Most of our nobles happen to be Methuselah. I guess when you serve the empire for a few hundred years; you are bound to do something that warrants the conferment of a hereditary title.
Anyhow, most Terrans live in the eastern sector of the city. The nobility have their mansions in the west, from the old days before the blood serum invention. Back then, we had blood donation drives very week. Since they have developed a blood serum substitute a few hundred years back, they have no need for drinking human blood directly. So they did away with the silver canal between the neighbourhoods. I am a medical student at the college, so I know these things. The Empress takes a very dim view of any Methuselah who harms Terrans. In fact, Methuselahs who wilfully ill-treat Terrans are punished by law. The amazing technology of the wall allows both Terran and Methselah to interact openly in the streets even in daytime. It builds understanding. Oops, I have a lecture to attend now. Bye!
- Emma Seth (just a pretty young girl)
Ask Leon
HC-IIIX reporting. Leon has been hauled up for misconduct by Vice-Editor Medici. Forecasted time of return is 90 gazillion seconds. During this time, I will be responding to your letters.
Dear Leon
I have big, ugly bugs crawling up my balcony walls. Blasting them with regular bug-spray does not work! Help.
- Squeamish in Cartago
Dear Squeamish
I recommend a pair of 18-calibre St Michael pistols for blasting unwanted intruders off your balcony. It worked for me in Cartago.
- HC-IIIX
Dear Leon
My bathroom pipes are choked with sea slugs and myrrh. The pool is stagnating and turning rancid and I am expecting guests for a pool party. Help!
- Party Animal.
Dear Party
After computing the inputs, the resulting advice is: get a plunger to unclog your pipes or a plumber. Change the water in the pool. Backup plan: let your guests play board games instead of pool games. Oh, and do not wash sea slugs and myrrh down the sink.
- HC-IIIX
Personal notice:
Isaak! you miserable worm! You are a disgrace to us! The von Kampfer clan knows you have something to do with what happened at Greta's place! We, the von Kampfers of Berlin, disown Isaak Ferdnand von Kampfer. Show your sorry face around Berlin and we will fill your sorry carcass with silver!
Personal Ad:
Issak, I have returned your precious nephews to their Ma as they are wimpy specimens compared to you. Are you interested in donating your remains after death for my medical education? – D.
NOTICE to all Rumourmongers:
The Asran family baths are not filled with the blood of Terran maidens for crying out loud! We have better things to do than clog up our pipes with blood. We use special bath oil made from the milk of the endangered Kiev giant sea slug from an old family recipe. – Duchess of Kiev
NOTICE to would-be day-trippers
DO NOT trespass on the Asran family mansion grounds in the Imperial capital. We, the Asran household, will not be liable for any damages to your life and limb by our beloved house-tiger.
Author's Notes:
Can't resist a dig at the Duchess' bath recipe and her pet tigress. Too bad in the anime, they did not have the tigress using Abel as a chew toy as in the manga. "Bad girl, spit that out. You don't know where that has been." Muah-ha, poor Abel.