Disclaimer: I do not own Trinity Blood or its characters.

Someone dies in this issue, in fact, more than one. Goodbye Dietrich. Even dead, he still manages to cause a spot of trouble for those nasty child welfare groups.

The Trinity Times

Issue 22

ATTACK ON LONDINIUM'S BUCKINGHAM PALACE

Act of War by Person Unknown?

Londinium – The capital city of Albion has declared a state of emergency after an audacious one-man attack on Buckingham palace yesterday. The motive for the attack and the identity of the single perpetrator remains unknown. However, both Albion and Vatican officials have stated that the attack has nothing to do with the Inquisition troops recently posted to the city. Eyewitnesses describe the attacker as having long blond hair, dressed in an outlandish white outfit. He was also described as having handsome looks.

"He was just floating there like, you know, an angel or a demon…" one of the injured palace guards reported. "He stuck out his hand and all our bullets stopped mid-air like, and then he blew apart the palace. Oh my god! The horror, the horror…"

The historical Buckingham Palace was left a smoking ruin. The attack left fifteen dead and numerous injured, including Albion Security Chief, Captain Mary Spencer. The good captain escaped severe injury but was reported to be in a state of severe shock at press time. The Westminster Council has condemned the attack as an act of war by person unknown. Albion intelligence agents are currently investigating the incident. Rumours place the blame at the door of the new Breed Empire-based terrorists. The Empire has strongly denied responsibility for the attack and condemned it as an unprovoked and senseless act of war. The Empress has sent a statement through the Albionian embassy in Byzantinum to express her condolences to the Albion nation.

Puppeteer Goes Missing

Londinium Puppet Theatre Cancels Controversial Show

The Royal Londinium Puppet Theatre announced yesterday that they will be cancelling the controversial R rated show Sleeping Beauty in light of the mysterious disappearance of the lead puppeteer, Dexter Longman. The puppeteer has come under fire from child activists recently for his upcoming show. Child welfare groups have held protests against the show since Monday. His manager has called in the police in light of several threatening letters received. It is understood that Dexter Longman was last seen leaving his hotel two nights ago. Authorities fear the worst in light of violent protests by child activist groups in the vicinity. It is not known why he had left the hotel alone despite being warned of the danger.

Speculation is rife that Dexter Longman has been secretly killed. Distraught young women believed to be fans of the young man were seen placing flowers at the doorstep of the theatre. The ladies declined to be interviewed. The manager has asked all fans not place flowers at the door of his theatre as he is suffering from a bout of hay fever. The theatre will be closed till further notice.

Ask Leon

HC-IIIX reporting. As Lady Katherina has certain pressing matters to see to, I will be covering her duties. Proceed to analyse letters and find appropriate solutions… BEEP!

Dear Leon

I am in a bit of a pickle. You see, there was this puppeteer who was out to corrupt children's fairy tales, so me and my mates decided to warn him off a bit. Guess what, PC Plod is knocking on our door to question us about the said bloke's paying the piper. I swear on the grave of my dear grandmamma that we have nothing to do with the bloke's one-way trip to his Maker. We were intending to tar and feather him only! Then run him out of town on the next ferry to France.

- Thomas Darling, vice-chair of Albion Child Welfare Society

Dear Sir

Failure to compute: PC Plod, paying the piper… No solution computed.

-HC-IIIX

Dear Leon (or whoever is answering the letters this time)

I have taken Cardinal Katherina's advice and hidden all my weapons in my underground catacombs, I have also washed the bloodstains out of my clothing so everything was going well. Notice I said 'was' going well, everything went to hell in a handbasket when one of my generals showed up and started talking about some of my more bloody campaigns. Yeah, my girlfriend's father pretty much exploded, anyone know a way to erase someone's memory or getting rid of some select knowledge from their mind without killing them? By the way, I will hold off Francesco's assasination until he is suitably humiliated. I would also like to inform Katherina that I now owe her a favor for telling me how to get bloodstains out of clothes.

General Zargon, feeling very murderous and worried

Dear General

Recommend selective deletions of relevant memory files.

-HC-IIIX

Obituaries:

Dietrich von Lohengrin, aged 17. Remembered fondly as a treacherous snake in the grass, a sadist and a grave-robber by all. I told you so. Do burn in hell and don't say I didn't warn you. Oh, to save on the Club's budget, we have voted not to claim your sorry carcass for any funeral.

– Your comrades of the Rose Cross

Dear Father Abel, rest in peace and God's perpetual light shine upon you (sob). A private service will be held in Roslyn Chapel, outside Londinium. We will miss you

– your colleagues of AX.

Advertisements:

Calling for bids for reconstruction of Buckingham Palace, Albion. Interested parties please contact Count Virgil of Manchester via Londinium Gentlemen's Club.

Author's Notes:

I used British slang in the letter from the Child Welfare. PC Plod is referring to the police. Paying the piper means died. Guess who wrote Dietrich's obit?

The next one will be on the Orden's attack.