The Trinity Times Chapter 23: Issue 23, a trinity blood fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Trinity Blood or its characters.

Fireworks over Albion.

The Trinity Times

Issue 23

ATTACK ON LONDINIUM!

Proof of Extraterrestrial Civilization with Access to Lost Technology?

Londinium- The capital city of Albion suffered great loss of life and property when an aircraft of unknown origin attacked it last night. Death rays and lasers destroyed scores of buildings as far from the epicentre as Roslyn Chapel. The historical Roslyn Chapel was one of the many pre-Armageddon architectural wonders of Albion. Miraculously, the only occupant in the chapel at the time of its destruction escaped unscathed. The aircraft was seen hovering over the Thames where it exploded from unknown causes. The attack, though lasting only a brief three hours, has left the city reeling.

Experts are baffled as to the origins of the craft which has been described as far beyond what even the most advanced nations of the world are capable of. "Such a craft is aerodynamically challenged, the design as described by eyewitnesses defy all known rules of flight. However, we cannot discount the possibility that it may be a revival of Lost Technology or an advancement of technology," Albion University professor of aeronautics Gregory Wright stated when interviewed. The Thames will be trawled for the wreckage of the craft to ascertain its origins.

Strange Winged Beings Spotted in Albionian Skies

Numerous eyewitnesses as far as Salisbury, Dover and York described a pair of winged figures duelling in the skies above Albion last night. It is not known if they were related in any way to the mysterious craft that attacked the capital around the same time. The sightings lasted about fifteen minutes. "One was a white angel of destruction and the other a black beast of lightning. The Apocalypse is upon us all! Repent! Repent, you evil generation!" The Archbishop Thomas Beckett of Canterbury, an eyewitness, declared from his ward in the Bedlam Institute of Mental Health where he had been admitted for observation.

HEIR TO ALBIONIAN THRONE FOUND?

In a shocking declaration, Westminster has announced that the true heir to the Albionian throne has been found. A young woman has been named as biological grandchild of the late Queen Brigit of Albion. The will of Queen Brigit has been released to the council by Count Virgil of Manchester. The document has been since verified by experts from the Albion University. The will named her biological grandchild as her heir. The identity of the woman will be withheld until DNA tests confirm her parentage. Duke Erin and Ludwig of Germany are expected to challenge this claim.

Ask Leon

Dear readers, I apologize but today I will be leaving you in the capable hands of Lady Asta, a visitor to the Holy City, as I have urgent matters to see to. I assure you that Lady Asta is fully qualified as an advisor, having held diplomatic court posts in her home country. God bless you for your kind understanding, Lady Asta (rushes off)

Lady Asta: What? I thought we were going to do the peace treat… Hey, you better get back soon if I do this gig!

Dear Leon,

My brother is engaged to this nice and beautiful woman, but father keeps insisting she's a Methuselah, just because she hangs around them! Now he's planning to show up at their wedding with a gun and silver bullets. I am no Vatican member, but a bullet no matter what material has to hurt, right? Whose happiness am I suppose to choose, warn my brother for his, or stay quiet for my father's? And if you're telling me to get them to sit down and talk, father's already locked brother out of the house and brother's already tried burning the door to get in.

- Now Living in a Madhouse

Dear Madhouse

If your bro has any brains, he should hold the wedding in broad daylight outdoors to allay your father's fears or confirm them. Either way, it will solve the problem. If the bride-to-be has any objections, I recommend a good old fashioned elopement. I have two vacancies in my mansion in Byzantium after my butler and lady's maid had an unfortunate run-in with my pet tigress while having a little tête-à-tête in the garden one night. Any takers?

- Lady Asta

Dear Leon (or Catherina if you're still here,

I am seriously concerned about the sibling rivalry the current Cardinals suffer from. I have diagnosed shocking malice between the two of them. Sitting down and talking does not seem to work, and while drastic measures would be locking them together in a room or closet for a day, we're concerned about one of them turning up dead. So, any suggestions?
- Vatican psychiatrist

Dear Doc,

In my hometown, we have a charmingly effective way of resolving family disagreements without turning it into a death-duel. It is called overseas posting… which is the reason why I am here answering your letter after that spat with Sis over my tigress eating her Pekinese. You throw as much distance between the parties as possible and hopefully things will cool down. I would recommend sending that Inquisition cardinal to a remote island to convert the rocks. Don't let him back until the rocks start singing Alleluia. Sis, if you are reading this, I am sorry about that mangy dog, you old bitch! I have just received my pet's pelt via express post and I am not amused. Death duel anytime!

- Lady Asta

Dear Leon

My girlfriend's father is not a robot so the solution posed by HC-IX won't work, so thanks for nothing you two-bit priest with an obssession for redheads! Sorry, got a little carried away there, back on topic now. My girlfriend's father is threatening to move his family to an undisclosed location so I can't see my girlfriend! What should I do about this?. By the way, if someone doesn't attempt to offer some helpful advice I'll make Rome my next target for attack! In case your wondering, I am not completely rational in situations like this.

General Zargon, feeling extremely desperate and worried

PS. You are invited to the execution on the general who started this whole thing, I never really like him anyway

Dear Zargon

In my country, your problem is easily solved by a death-duel. Basically, as I am not an inhabitant of this bloody city, I wouldn't mind you attacking… excuse me, my superior has telegrammed me a message…

Mirka (by telegram): Asta dear, remember to negotiate peace, not war and take care of Ion OR ELSE!

Asta: Oh (bleep) where's that blond brat? (Runs out frantically)