Author's Note: Good morning sunshine, the earth says hello! I miss writing on but this son of a gun DSL isn't letting me online... Errrrk... Oh, and the quote about the skin screaming is copyrighted by my boyfriend :D Hehe... we have naughty conversations.

"You want to love me… you want to huuug me, you want to smooch me," Reno half-serenaded, half-taunted over Tifa's homemade spaghetti. He grinned like a madman and watched her stab her pile of noodles violently, the tomato sauce squirting out and landing with a plop! on the table.

Tifa had invited him over for dinner as a form of apology for the… telephone cord incident. Reno knew otherwise. He watched her with great pleasure, and played with her mind and threw sexually suggestive comments her way every minute or so.

Now he thought she was like putty in his hands… a very attractive, hot piece of putty that made drinks and kicked ass.

She quickly wiped away the sauce with a crisp white paper napkin. She crumpled it in her hand and looked for the wastebasket. "Reno," She said, turning around with the paper napkin still in her fist. "I'm just a very considerate person, and I haven't had anyone over for quite a long time. It gets lonely, you know?"

A myriad of naughty thoughts flew around in his head like a Pornado (Porn plus tornado equals a whole lot of online pornography on your e-mail) when Tifa said she was lonely. He mentally smacked himself and repeated the word "PRUDE" as many times as he could in his head but alas, it was a futile attempt.

"Doesn't your skin scream my name? Doesn't it long for my attenti—

Tifa threw the napkin in her fist at his head. Reno didn't even flinch and kept drawling on. The helpless napkin bounced off his head and hit the floor with a soundless crash.

"-on? Don't you just want to get me all riled up, wet, and oiled down—"

"Gunther, wake up. I think I heard a crash from next door."

"Go back to sleep Regina. It's probably that crazy local drunk doing weird things."

"Since when did the Turk move in next door?"

"He's seeing the Lockheart girl."

"Oh…"

"Mmm… go to sleep."

"Gunther, when was the last time we had sex?"

"For Christ's sake, Regina! I'm getting to old for this!"

"66 isn't that old, Gunther!"