Author's Note: I'm so damned horny. I don't know what else to say.
Reno put his forehead to the wooden door of her bathroom and pounded on the door with his right fist. Tifa's forgotten panties were curled up in his other hand, the frog design wrinkling. He could hear sobs of anguish and female hormones, and he could smell the distinct scent of her patchouli candles.
"Tifa! Open the damned door!" He cried, trying the doorknob roughly, almost wrenching it off in the process. It was locked, as expected.
The muttered curse words stopped for a moment, and he heard footsteps coming towards him. Placing his ear slowly on the surface of the door, and listened. He didn't quite expect what would happen next.
She kicked the door down.
Wood chips, splinters, and chunks went flying in the air, most of it landing in and on Reno. A barrage of slivers pierced his ear, and he was thrown back to the wall opposite the door-less doorframe. When Reno opened his eyes that were previously squeezed shut, he could see her outline, her face darkened by the light, and her arms at her waist.
Tifa did not give off the Zen-like mood. It was more like a Mike Tyson mood, complete with ear-biting.
"Dude, never mess with chicks with dicks."
"She doesn't have a dick, you moron."
"You said she did this to you? She's gotta be on the manly side."
"Are you calling her manly?"
"Naah, man, just wondering if she works out or not."
"She does."
"Hey man, can you spare some money?"
"I don't have cash on me. Want a smoke instead?"
"Sure man. Hey, you can't smoke on the train."
"Does it look like I give a damn?"
"Right."
Tseng drove his sleek black car (that was bird shit-free) to a deserted country road, miles away from people. Windshield wipers went back and forth, clearing away the raindrops that were falling quite heavily as the night wore on.
"Where are you going?" Elena asked, adjusting the radio.
He grabbed her wrist and set it back on her lap, not taking his eyes off the road and other hand off the wheel. "Don't."
They rode in silence, until he stopped at random. He unlocked the doors, and got out, beckoning Elena to do the same.
Two doors were slammed shut simultaneously, and Tseng used his Turk-style charm to roll over the hood of the car and land in front of Elena. The headlights were still on, and they shone brightly as his weight bumped the car.
"What the-
Tseng and Elena were soaking wet from the downpour, and she was beginning to get a little uncomfortable. He shoved her against the passenger door, and kissed-no, devoured- her mouth completely, showing feeling through actions.
Taking time out of her normal Wednesday night LOST time, she sacrificed seeing Jack and Sawyer to clean up the mess she made with the door. Painstakingly, she also pulled out several splinters from her foot, each feeling like a pinprick; the pain magnified by hydrochloric acid.