Hehe, I was feeling momentarily creative so I wrote a short fanfic.. :D
Title: Of Feet And Centipedes
Author: pirateystripes
Rating: PG
Summary: April needs Casey's help to kill a certain something in the bathroom, and he's more than happy to help out; for a price.
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"CASEY!!"
Casey Jones was downstairs at the kitchen table, playing a game of Parcheesi with Donatello, when he heard April shrieking his name.
"Whoa, what the heck was that?" Donatello asked, looking up at the ceiling.
"That my friend," explained Casey, getting up from the table, "Was the sound of opportunity." He grinned and winked at his friend, and then headed up the rickety stairway to the second floor of the old farmhouse. When he reached April's bedroom, he found her pacing the room frantically.
"Hey, babe, what's up?"
"What's up?" she asked, her voice an octave higher than usual. "What's up? Why don't you take a look in the bathroom and see what's up for yourself!"
He glanced at the open bathroom door. "In there?" he asked, gesturing with his thumb. "What, is Raphael awake or something?"
"No, that's not it. Look on the wall next to the bathtub." She suddenly shuddered, and made a grossed out face. "Ughhh, it's the most disgusting thing I have ever seen!"
"That gross, eh? You're acting like Pinhead is in there."
"Just go and look, please. Pleeeeease," she begged, her fingers intertwined.
He stepped into the bathroom apprehensively, and looked around. "Babe, I don't see nothi--holy friggin' shit, look at the size of that centipede!"
"You see!"
He quickly stepped backwards out of the bathroom, scratching the back of his head. "Yeah, uh, so.. why don't you just kill it?"
"Me?" she squealed in disbelief. "Why me? You're the man! It's your job to kill the creepy-crawlies!"
"Live and let live, that's my motto."
"Please, Casey. I'm begging you," she pleaded. "How can you just leave poor Raph in there with that thing?"
"Raph probably eats those types of things. He's a turtle for cryin' out loud!"
"I'll give you anything you want if you kill it," she said, looking at him beseechingly.
He cocked his head in her direction, cupping his hand next to his ear. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"
"C'mon Casey, don't make me say it again." She folded her arms over her chest, and awkwardly started inspecting her bare feet.
"Sorry, still can't hear you. Old hockey injury."
"I said 'I'll give you anything you want!'"
"Now we're talkin' business here," he smiled, rubbing his hands together fiendishly. "Hmm, whatever I want.."
"Well, within reason."
"Uh, uhuh, sweet cheeks! You said anything , if I do recall."
"I'm just going to pretend that you didn't call me that," she fumed, hands on hips. "Look, if you're going to make a big deal out of this, I'll just get Mikey to do--" She started walking out of the room, but he stepped in front of her and gently grabbed her shoulder.
"Wait, I know what I want."
"Okay, what? It better not be something nas--"
"Is that how you think of me?" His face was a portrait of mock injury. "I'll tell ya what. I'll kill the bug, but you gotta do one thing for me."
"What's that?"
"Rub my feet."
"Excuse me?"
"What? That's not that bad!"
"Says who? I'm the one who'll have to touch your smelly, corroded feet!"
"They are not corroded! Slightly calloused, but corroded? Nah."
"You forgot smelly!"
"Have you ever met a guy who didn't have smelly feet?" She didn't answer right away. "Hah! See? Now, do we have a deal, or not?"
"Yeah, fine, whatever."
"Excellent. I'll be right back." He left the room and came back a few minutes later carrying a wooden bat.
"Are you kidding me?" April laughed, doubling over and slapping her thighs.
"Do you want me to kill it or not?" He motioned with his bat toward the bathroom. "Because I'll be more than happy to let it live, so that the next time you're in there it winds up crawling in your hair."
"God, that's a mental image I didn't need! I can't watch this. I'll be downstairs; just call me when it's good and dead."
"I'll call you when my feet are ready for the rubbin' of a lifetime." He grinned, and ducked when she threw a pillow at him.
When she was gone, he crept back into the bathroom, bat at the ready. The 'thing' was still sitting motionlessly on the wall, its legs twitching every so often. "Christ, that bug is as long as my--"
"What are you doing?"
"AHHH!" He turned and raised the bat in the air, but paused at the last possible second. "Don! You scared the beejesus out of me!" He clutched at his chest.
"Can you blame me? From this angle it looked like you were about to club my brother like a baby seal."
"I'm not tryin' to club Raph, you Chromedome!"
"Are we playing this game again, Dingleberry?"
"Can't you see that I'm doing somethin' important here, Elephantitis-face! Check out what's on the wall over there."
Donatello leaned over and inspected the wall that Casey was pointing to. "I don't see anything, Froglegs. 'Cept for Raph."
"Huh?" Casey searched the wall frantically. "It's gone! Oh shit!"
"What's gone?"
"A centipede the size of Long Island, Gnomebiter! April is gonna kill me!" He slammed the toilet seat down and sat down moodily.
"A centipede? Is that all?"
"That centipede was gonna be my lucky break. April promised me a foot rub if I killed it for her," he explained. He put his head in his hands. "No centipede, no foot rub. Get it?"
"Why the hell would April want to touch your feet, Homo-erectus?
"Homo-erectus? What, are you comin' on to me?"
Donatello shook his head and sighed. "Look, if you want that foot rub so bad, why don't you just tell April that you killed it."
Casey furrowed his brow in confusion. "Because I didn't kill it. What letter we on again?"
"I. Are you even listening to me? I don't even know why I'm trying to help you out here. My sympathies go out to April for even having to get within 2 inches of your tainted feet."
"You want me to lie? Damn, I don't have an 'I' insult."
"I'll back y--"
"Hey, guys! Is it dead?" called April, peeking her head around the doorframe.
"Er."
Donatello quickly looked at Casey, who cleared his throat nervously. "Y-yeah. I got it, babe. No prob."
"Great." She looked at them both strangely. "You two alright?"
"Fine!" They spoke at the same time.
"Okay.. Casey, just call me when you want me to keep up my end of the bargain," she said, still watching them carefully. "I'll be sure to get my heavy duty gloves ready. Later, boys." She waved and disappeared from the room.
"Whew, she almost had you, Idiotbox," said Donatello, breathing a sigh of relief.
"It worked. I don't believe it."
"I told you it would."
"I guess you're smarter than you look, Jughead! I knew your head had to be so big for a reason," Casey laughed, slapping him on the shoulder.
"Hey."
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Casey and Donatello were finishing up their board game a few hours later, when Michelangelo strolled into the room. "Hey Mike, what's up?"
"Nothin' much, dude. Hey Donnie. Where's April?"
"She's.. somewhere. I don't know where she is. You check upstairs?" Casey asked, a look of concentration on his face. "Hey! You moved 10 spaces. That dice says 9, buddy!"
"What, did you use your fingers to count that, Walrus Breath? I only have 6, and I can still see that the dice with the 5 and the dice with the 5 adds up to 10!"
"You wanna take this outside, Xyl.. Yak.. Za... uh.. Aardvark-butt?!"
"Look who's accusing me of cheating? You skipped 3 letters of the alphabet, Banana-Brains!"
"Catpuke!"
"Doofusaurus!"
"Guys, can we get back to April?" Michelangelo asked impatiently, rolling his eyes.
"Why you wanna talk to her so bad?"
"I just killed a ginormous centipede in her bedroom. It had more legs tha--"
"Ahem." April was standing in the kitchen doorway, an angry expression crossing her face. "I thought you killed it, Casey?"
"I.. uh.. Maybe it was a different bug. An old house like this, you probably got a huge infestation goin' on..."
"I rubbed your feet."
"Babe, Honeybunch, Sugar-apple.. Sweetiepie? Pumpkin-seed? Crap."
"Uh oh, she's got your bat, Casey!" Donatello said, scooting away from the table.
"C'mere, Casey.. I wanna rub your feet again," said April, slamming the bat into her open palm.
"You see, this is what I get for tryin' to be nice!"
"Get back here!"
"Can't we make a deal, babe? I'll rub your back--for free." He put his hands up defensively, circling around the table.
"I wouldn't let you touch me with your filthy claws for all the tea in China, buddy!"
"Isn't it romantic?" Donatello said, glancing up at Michelangelo.
Michelangelo was watching April intently as she chased Casey outside, waving the bat. "You know what this means, Donnie?"
"What? That I won the Parcheesi game?"
"No, April owes me a foot rub!"
"Oh boy.."
The End :)