Disclaimer: Naruto and everything associated don't belong to me, neither do the lyrics. I'm not claiming ownership of anyone's ideas.
Basics: PG13/T, General/Drama/Romance/Angst, AU, (?) chapters
Warnings: Boy x boy love, boy x girl love, profanity, mild mature themes
Summary: Sasuke always did mean to leave Konoha, and that intention breaks Naruto's heart. But fate pulls a 180, and instead it is Naruto that leaves, and Sasuke is the heartbroken one.
Author's note: No, it's not The Outsiders. But that's a really good book, too. Anyway, glad you're here. Note that Naruto counts one less day than Sasuke, because Sasuke counts the night of their fight, while only Naruto knows he left the morning after.
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Counting the waysto where you are.
X;
Tazuna sagged against the vinyl back of his driver's seat, watching his grandson Inari take a bite out of a McDonald's hamburger. 'Inari seems happier lately,' he mused. Tazuna was glad that he and Inari had taken this road trip. The sixty-something year old man smoothed back his graying locks lazily and pushed his spectacles back into place as he smiled indulgently at the ten year old wolfing down his Happy Meal.
The two were sitting in a dusty dark red pickup that had Mist Construction. Since 1967. printed in block letters on the side, parked and waiting for a certain blond teenage hitchhiker who had excitedly asked to stop so he could briefly drop in an internet café. Tazuna had agreed without giving the teen too much strife; and besides, he and Inari had wanted lunch. This was the reason why Tazuna and Inari were waiting patiently for Naruto, their blond hitchhiker.
Tazuna closed his eyes, stretching his still-strong arms in front of him. Naruto. Tazuna had only met the kid a mere day ago. Tazuna was the owner of a small construction company, and had gone to many cities in the direction of Konoha to pick up several things for his latest project (because he hadn't wanted to pay the multiple delivery fees and he wanted to spend time with Inari.) Tazuna had headed straight to the farthest city and was making his way back, stopping at each city and getting what he needed, and in the city fifty miles from Konoha, he had met Naruto.
Naruto, upon finding out that Tazuna's destination was the same as his, had pleaded for a ride. Tazuna had been reluctant, but Inari liked him and there was just something about that Naruto kid…
…who was now waving at Tazuna and his grandson and walking toward the red pickup truck. Tazuna have an acknowledging sort of grunt at the golden haired, scar faced, lean and wiry young man and started the engine. After making sure that Naruto had climbed up safely in the back, Tazuna gripped the wheel easily in his workingman's hands and they were off.
Naruto quickly snapped a picture of the Internet café as they were making their way down the street. As they hit the highway, Naruto opened his notebook and jotted down the café's name and the fact it was his second Internet café since he left Konoha and that this was where he sent his second email to Sakura. When he finished, he slipped the slender volume into his knapsack, content in knowing that within those pages, the past couple days of his life were kept:
Day one: Left Konoha really early in the morning. Bought ticket from bus station, took bus fifty miles to next city, Sakei. Really pretty city, but Konoha's nicer, I think. Still, I've never been anywhere else before, so… Wandered around a bit, went inside Sugiyama Internet Café, wrote email to Sakura. Slept in Sakei's bus stop.
Day two: Met Tazuna and Inari, they're going to the same place. Got myself a ride. The old man won't stop calling me brat and the twerp won't stop staring at me! Tazuna has to get stuff in a lot of cities on the way… Aoki, Andou and Kojima so far, but I don't mind, I think I'm beginning to like traveling. Surviving on subway sandwiches and snack mix. Slept in hotel, don't remember the name.
Day three: McDonald's breakfast and lunch, I swear Inari's addicted to that stuff. The old dude was nice and let me stop in another Internet Café- Maeda's- and I wrote another email to Sakura. Tazuna says we'll be there by nightfall…
X;
I walk the streets I never knew…And if you could see
What's come over me
Then you would know
Because I'm walking free
Wind at my back
Bathed in afterglow
'I'm here… god, I'm fucking here.' Naruto thought dazedly.
"Here's the pretty little city of Hara," Tazuna gestured with his hand at a small metropolis surrounding them. Naruto was leaning against the pickup truck door on the driver's side, ready to say goodbye to Tazuna and Inari. Funny, he'd almost adopted them as his temporary family- between the gas station stops and the bad fast food they had to endure together. Naruto felt his heart twang as he asked them for a picture.
"…Sure." Tazuna said slowly. Inari climbed over to his grandfather's side and poked his head out the driver's side window. Inari grinned for the camera while Tazuna maintained his normal composure and with a sudden flash of light from Naruto's camera, it was over and Naruto was staring strangely at the camera in his hands.
"Thanks, old man." Naruto said honestly, his clear blue eyes meeting the gaze of the man who had driven him a hundred miles, putting him that much closer to his ultimate goal. Tazuna surveyed the boy in front of him, giving him another characteristic grunt. He'll be okay, he decided. Yes, if the two days with Naruto had shown him anything about the boy, Tazuna was certain that somehow, the blond would persevere.
"No problem kid." Tazuna started the engine of the car, and gave a firm wave in Naruto's direction, and the pickup started rolling away from the teenager, down the street, ultimately headed for the outskirts of Hara.
"Bye Naruto!" Inari called out the window.
Thank you, Tazuna, Inari. And so Naruto watched grandfather, grandson and red pickup truck drive away from him, just as the golden orange lights of the declining sun began to illuminate the city of Hara in the singular and unique glory that is a sunset.
X;
Day four.
Rock Lee was, in Sakura's description, a cute, sweet older guy who can be really funny. Lee was a junior with bowl-cut ink-black hair and very muscled body, and large round eyes with impossibly long eyelashes and an impressive set of eyebrows. Lee was also currently suffering with Sasuke Uchiha at the mercy of a pink-haired slip of a girl with more fire than the most violent volcano.
However, Sasuke Uchiha noticed vaguely, that Lee didn't seem to be suffering from Sakura's lengthy but rather humorous account of her day, Lee seemed to be loving it. Poor fool. Yes, Sakura's story was rather amusing, but Sasuke just couldn't keep his mind present at the lunch that the three were sharing (Sakura had absolutely insisted on him not eating lunch alone… now that… that…)
Sasuke caught the words Sakura… pretty hair, you have… off the other two's conversation and decided that listening wouldn't be beneficial to him in anyway, and besides, the word hair just brought the idea of sunshine-golden strands that smelled faintly of some fruit wash. And suddenly, Sasuke felt supremely lonely.
Never mind that he was sitting in a crowded cafeteria jam-packed with at least three hundred other students. Never mind that he was sitting at a table, with one of his closest friends and her boyfriend. Never mind, never mind, because Sasuke would always be alone if Naruto wasn't there, and Naruto just wasn't. Was this what the dobe was terrified of when Sasuke brought up his desire to leave Konoha, to leave the dobe?
Because if it was, then Sasuke would admit, if only to himself, that the dobe had every right to be afraid of this. All these people around him- they didn't know him like Naruto knew him. All of the people- millions, billions- in the world, and there was only one who really understood him. His broken childhood, boarding school here and there, then his family's brutal murder at the hands of the eldest son, then the orphanage; through all of this, Sasuke had known two constants- and they were loneliness and Naruto.
The loneliness had never been so great. Perhaps that was because he had never known truly what he was missing.
"Sasuke?" Sakura looked at her silent friend with concern. For the past few minutes, she had noticed that he had not been listening to a single word of their conversation. He was gazing straight ahead with a blank look on his face, and Sakura knew his thoughts were far, far away. Just like a certain best friend might be. She called to him softly once again, to see if she might snap him out of his daze that Sakura knew must be something hurting him to achieve that blank look on his face. And just like that, Sasuke refocused his dark onyx eyes at her and nodded slightly.
'I was spacing out at lunch, of all times…' Sasuke thought disdainfully of himself.
Oblivious, Lee continued his and Sakura's conversation about her hair. "Pink is such a lovely color, Sakura-chan!"
"Thanks, Lee."
"So, what was your natural hair color?"
"Actually… it was blond. I decided to try to dye it red in junior high, and it didn't really work. That's why… Naruto calls me Red sometimes." Sakura snuck a glance at Sasuke. Now he was listening. She smiled a sad smile inwardly. Sasuke missed Naruto badly, she knew, but he also hadn't figured out why he missed his friend so goddamn much. You love him! She wanted to scream at him. But it wouldn't work with an Uchiha. It would only incite further denial…
So she dazzled Lee with a bright grin, "Well, I learned to like the pink-disaster, and so… voila!"
'Sakura's trying to either tell me something… or she's hiding something from me,' Sasuke realized with his unfailingly accurate logic. He narrowed his eyes slightly; what the hell was that girl up to now? He knew Sakura was holding a happy masquerade at lunch for Lee's sake because the girl fancied herself in love with Bushy-brows, as his M.I.A. blond best friend dubbed him. What Sakura really wanted to talk about was whatever she was thinking every time she gave him the funny look.
Sakura continued to chatter and Lee continued hanging on to every word, completely smitten with the younger girl. While Sasuke couldn't blame Lee, not really, Sasuke found that he was ready to gag with all the mindless trivial nonsense floating around him. He was thankful when the bell rang signaling the end of lunch, grabbing his books and heading through the double doors when Sakura, sans Lee, touched his arm lightly.
"Sasuke."
The pale, impassive boy turned to look at his friend, who was gesturing to the library. "Free period after lunch right?" Sasuke 'hn'ed and Sakura took the ambiguous sound as an affirmative and went on, "Well, I'm checking my email. Want to come?" Sasuke looked darkly at Sakura, who knew the negativity in his gaze was not directed to her. They both heard the unspoken question underlying what she actually said: Do you want to see if Naruto sent another email?
So they started up the stairs to the library on the sixth floor of their high school, flashing their student ID's at the security guard at the library's doors. They went in and signed out a computer. Drawing up a chair to Sakura, who was already typing quickly in front of a school computer, Sasuke sat down with quiet dignity and watched the screen intently.
You have (1) new message.
Sasuke inhaled sharply. Yes. From- believeitninja (at) emailservice dot net…
To- sakuraxblossoms (at) emailservice dot net
From- believeitninja (at) emailservice dot net
Subject- Hey again
Hey Red,
Does it bother you that I email you when I'm on the road like this? I mean. You might be really mad at me right now and ready to beat the crap out of me when I get home. Well… I don't know. I just need a place to rant, talk…. So I give you full permission to delete every email I send you! Yeah. I'd totally understand. So… all of this is really exciting for me. It's a lot tougher when you gotta find day-to-day accommodations, but I'd bet it'd be a lot harder if I was looking for a psycho mass murderer. Sorry Sasuke. I know you must be reading over Sakura's shoulder right now. And you prolly know what I said in the last email. So, yeah… I meant what I said about forgetting. And I hope you're following the same train of thought I am. That'd be really great. Well yeah. Greet Iruka for me, Red.
I don't think I'll be writing again.
Thanks to you both, miss ya,
Naruto
…Again with this forgetting? Did Naruto want to hurt him like this, again and again? Sasuke blinked rapidly as the dull ache settled over his stomach, consuming him inside out. He clenched his fists together, then relaxed. Clenched, relaxed- clenched, relaxed- clenched, relaxed… Sakura looked over at her companion and wondered why Sasuke was so upset in his subtle way. Then it hit her- why the Uchiha had flinched when his eyes traveled over the word forget.
The genius Uchiha was misinterpreting Naruto's words.
Idiot! Sakura wanted to smack him. Why couldn't Sasuke realize that Naruto was in love with him and was trying to tell him he was forgiving him? Didn't Sasuke say they had a fight right before they left? Boys! Sakura thought vehemently.
The warning bell rang and students began to diligently file out of the library. Sakura pulled her book bag closer to her and looked Sasuke dead in the eye.
"We are going to see Iruka after school and you are going to stop being emo because that's not what he means!" said Sakura, leaning over and hissing into Sasuke's ear. Then, huffing, the strong willed girl promptly slung her pink bag over her shoulder and left Sasuke still staring at the computer screen, completely confused and suffering from turbulent emotions that he couldn't quite name.
X;
And as I sit here in this dark roomCruddy hotels. Naruto wrinkled his nose at the faint musty odor that the entire tiny hotel room radiated. The wallpaper was in a sorry state, slowly peeling off the thin plaster walls. The bed that Naruto was stretched out on creaked with the rusty squeak of old poking-through-mattress springs every time Naruto made the slightest move. Naruto snorted derisively at the thought that he would be getting any sleep tonight, presented with these crappy accommodations.
'At least it was cheap.' Naruto tried to console himself. Only 35 bucks a night- not that he'd pay anymore for this crap- for a bed, a table, a lonely chair, and a very old lamp on the table. The space was rather cramped, but as Naruto was by himself, he didn't particularly need much more room. Naruto laid there in the dark, remembering how the sleazy, greasy guy at the desk tried to weasel an extra ten dollars by overcharging the teenager.
The guy didn't even ask for his age, and that was how Naruto knew that this was quite a shady hotel. He scowled in the dark. The downsides of traveling.
He wondered if Sasuke ever thought about this kind of thing when Sasuke said that he was going to run away. But the bastard probably had enough money to get a place way better than this. Sasuke always did have all the material things.
Sasuke. Naruto couldn't help it, but his thoughts kept returning to the handsome raven haired boy with the intense dark eyes, his best friend. 'That I'm supposed to be mad at,' Naruto reminded himself, but knew that he had forgiven him already. Several times, as Naruto's mind wandered to Sasuke during the empty moments of his journey… wandering that first city, in between stops while in the back of Tazuna's truck, and now…
Because that was what love was. When you couldn't get your special person out of your head, when you keep forgiving them for all the things they had done to hurt you. Naruto certainly loved Sasuke. Loved him for a very long time in fact. He loved the other boy very much, and it didn't surprise him that he forgave Sasuke so easily.
He'd even written of it to Sakura through the emails! Because it was true, Naruto was… maybe not forgetting the fight they had, but it was just becoming another one blending into the so many they've already had. Forgiving Sasuke was both difficult and really easy.
I miss you, I miss you
We're a bittersweet story, an almost tragedy
But that's okay, because that's how we love…
Naruto wished Sasuke were right beside him… Sasuke had never understood why Naruto wanted to go with him, if he did leave. But, Naruto supposed, my journey is one I had to take, Sasuke or no Sasuke. To set things right. Still, Naruto missed Sasuke and Konoha, and so tried to think of happy things, like Iruka and Sakura and imagining Sasuke's lips on his…
Naruto had slipped off into some Sasuke-involving light doze, and didn't hear the door open quietly and graceful footsteps padding lightly against the flimsy thin carpeting of the hotel room's floor. He did, however, feel the small bed wheeze squeakily as someone's weight settled on the edge. What the fuck? Naruto was regaining his senses and he caught a whiff of cheap perfume drifting across his face.
Who the hell? A woman? How the fuck did she get into my room-? Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but a hot mouth was set over his and the curves of a female body were pressed against him, pushing him against the wall at the head of the bed. She purred something into his ear, something along the lines of missed me? and hey sexy. Naruto was too shocked to think, respond- what the fuck, I'm getting molested by some woman?! Naruto snapped to full awareness and violently tore his lips from the strange woman's and firmly pushed her away from him.
His hand shaking, he reached for the bedside lamp and scrambling away from the woman, flicked the lights on.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Naruto said roughly, swiping a hand across his lips, trying to eradicate all that she had imprinted on him.
Naruto took a good look at her- and her horrified expression at seeing his face. "Oh, shit," she said, eyes wide.
X;
Sakura was pulling Sasuke towards the Umino apartment. Sasuke was… dreading going to the apartment. He didn't know if he could take seeing Naruto's things without being hit with a wave of loneliness, guilt, and something else- a wave with the force of a two-ton truck plowing through him. Sakura didn't care; she had to deliver the message to Iruka, and make Sasuke really see. She tapped her foot impatiently in the elevator while Sasuke stood silent next to her, looking especially haughty.
Sakura knew that proud look meant something was warring inside him.
Sasuke and Sakura let themselves in the Umino apartment, and as expected, it was empty because Mr. Umino usually didn't get home until six o' clock. But that was okay, Sakura thought. It gave her time to talk about the strange relationship between her two male best friends. If Sasuke wouldn't recognize his own feelings, if blatantly point them out to him wouldn't work, then Sakura would work from a different angle.
Sakura would point out Naruto's feelings, instead. She hoped that her genius emo would be able to see that the affection was mutual.
"C'mon Sasuke, sit."
Sasuke quirked en eyebrow elegantly but sat. A couple of years ago, Sakura would have swooned at the cool look that he bestowed upon her, but today, she had a mission.
"First of all… these emails?" Sakura waved them in his face and Sasuke flicked his eyes away from them, not wishing to be reminded of what he thought was Naruto trying to sever their friendship with distance.
"I know you're over thinking them. You guys had a fight before he left. He's not forgetting your friendship with him. He's forgetting the fight. He's forgiving you, Sasuke!"
Sasuke sat unmoving, silent, and it bothered Sakura that she couldn't read his expression.
"Second, Naruto loves you," she added, hoping that would get some sort of reaction out of the Uchiha, to prove to her that she wasn't wrong about the ice prince's surprising feelings for Naruto.
What?
"Sakura, do not mess with me like that," Sasuke growled, forcefully getting up from the Umino's couch so that his full height towered over hers, dark eyes boring into the slightly frightened emerald ones. Still, the smaller girl tilted her chin up defiantly, daring him to again disbelieve the honesty of her statement. Sasuke's eyes turned into slits as he turned away.
Sakura was watching Sasuke turn this new piece of truth in his head. Turning it over and over, Sakura knew. Trying to fit the puzzle piece in the world he's carefully ordered into school, friends, home, revenge, Itachi, Sakura, and Naruto.
"You deliver the message to Iruka," Sakura said, not unkindly, leaving Sasuke to figure out what his head and more importantly, what his heart, should be telling him.
Sasuke vaguely registered her leaving, but it was the girl's words that were left ringing in his head.
Naruto loves you.
Oh hell. Now what?
X;
Author's note 2: Anyway, about the book, the second hint is that the main character meets a prostitute, like Naruto just did. In a different way, though. Upon revising this chapter again, I have officially uploaded every single chapter three times.
Okay, that's it! Comments would be very much appreciated. Lyrics are from Five for Fighting's 100 years, Vanessa Carlton's The Wreckage, Vanessa Carlton's Afterglow, (my) I miss you.