Thank you dark rolling sea, your advice is priceless :)
Now, I hope you enjoy the latest instalment…
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CHAPTER 12 – Of Anticipation, Promises and Revelations
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Saturday morning was dawning and the first rays of sun were washing over the city. Mac stirred in his bed and slowly opened his eyes. His brain registered that he was supposed to go to work. He hadn't slept that well and getting up wasn't a very good incentive. Then he remembered his lunch plans and things started to look up. Last night he had thought about where he stood when it came to Lindsay and he had noticed something valuable – she had brought a new light into his life. He wanted to spend time with her and be there for her. Lindsay had become his strongest reason to live. He had friends, but after Claire had died a huge gap had opened. No one could ever take her place, but he truly hoped life would provide him with another chance. This was it and he knew it. There was no way he was going to just let it slip away.
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Lindsay was at her front door, trying to reach her keys while balancing an enormous bag of groceries. After what could be called a struggle against time and falling vegetables, she got in and headed straight for the kitchen. Checking the time she wondered if she should just head to the lab. She hadn't made any plans with Mac about where they would go, so it would be wise to just meet up. She started putting the things she had bought away, glancing at the clock on the wall every now and then. Lindsay was looking forward to her lunch plans. She felt a little tentative about what the lunch might mean but decided not to over think it. Underneath the surface she was hoping this would be the next little step in their relationship, because something was telling her this wasn't just an ordinary lunch.
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Mac was shifting through the reports and other documents that had once again taken over his desk. It was times like these when he sometimes wished he would have a different job. He wasn't completely done yet and considering the time he thought of calling Lindsay about where to meet her. He abandoned the idea and returned his attention to the piece of paper he was currently holding on to. Frustration was growing in his mind, as every report seemed to resemble the last one more and more and there was still some to go. The task felt endless. A couple of minutes passed before there was a soft knock on the door and Lindsay let herself in.
"You almost done?" she asked with a smile.
Mac's mood immediately improved a notch when he saw her. "Done, no, but I could really use a break right about now," he said, getting up from his seat.
"Good, I was a little worried my timing was completely off."
"No such thing – it is Saturday after all," he said. Lindsay was happy to notice that he seemed to be in a good mood and according to his last statement, he might actually let loose, even if it was just a little bit.
"Great, otherwise I would've dragged you out of here whether you were ready or not," she joked but Mac was pretty sure she would have done that.
"So where are we going?" he asked, pulling on his suit jacket. It was warmer than last week and he doubted he'd need anything warmer. Lindsay was also sporting lighter clothing and he figured his decision was a good one.
"I don't know, but what I do know is that the sun is shining and we could walk to some place close,"
"Alright," he said and opened the door. "After you."
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They ended up walking for quite sometime before they settled for a fairly little place next to Central Park. They kept on passing other places because of various reasons; either they were too crowded or were specialized in something they didn't want. Lindsay passed one because to her the place looked 'hazy and a bit creepy'. She had given him a funny look after he had laughed at the basis on which she had dismissed the restaurant.
'You have to admit, it was creepy,'
'You mean the fact that the interior was completely yellow and orange, even the furniture,'
'Yes!'
'OK, it was a little out there…'
'Ha, told ya…'
He smirked at the recent memory. Talk of the devil, she was lost in her thoughts, staring at nothing in particular. Mac wondered what she could be thinking but was interrupted by the waiter. When they started eating they resumed the playful banter that came to them so naturally. Laughing at each others comments, time passed quickly; a little too quickly, if you asked either of them.
"I should probably get going," Mac informed when they exited the restaurant. A flash of disappointment crossed Lindsay's face. She really didn't want him to go just yet.
"You sure? It's not like those reports need to be read by tonight…" Lindsay said. "Or so I presume," she continued. Mac was obviously weighing his options. "Come on, we could both use the company,"
She was right and Mac knew it. Plus, there was really no competition between Lindsay and paper work. Especially when he didn't, in all truthfulness, have to do it today. Spending the afternoon with her was doubtlessly the better and more preferable alternative.
"OK, I can live with that," he affirmed, earning one of Lindsay's biggest smiles.
"Great, what do you want to do?" she asked enthusiastically with a little jump in her step.
Mac loved seeing her like this, happy and full of life. She too had her demons but the times when they were out of her mind she was pure joy. "Hmm, we could go to the park,"
"Sounds good," Lindsay asserted and they crossed the street.
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They walked around for what felt like mere minutes but was actually an hour. Coming across an empty park bench in a quiet place, they gladly sat down. After all the walking, sitting down felt remarkably good. They sat in silence until Mac broke it.
"Claire and I used to come here, usually on Tuesdays… not sure why on Tuesdays," he said, revealing the little detail. "She used to love to watch people who were here," he added. Lindsay smiled with a hint of sadness. She felt somewhat privileged to be hearing this; Mac was not one to talk about her late wife very often. Lindsay assumed it was too painful and also very personal.
"I really miss that, but I'm glad I can still remember the good things. Luckily it gets a little easier every day," he said, voicing his thoughts. Lindsay was listening intently and she knew that this was something he had to do – needed to do. He continued to talk about Claire and his life before and after her death. Slowly the bits and pieces started to form a picture of their life and the love they had shared. They sat very close and Mac took comfort in that.
"I – I think I've made my peace, but that doesn't take away the fact that I miss her," he said, his eyes watering. Lindsay took his hand in hers and gently squeezed it, offering whatever comfort she was able to give. "I'll take the bad if I can still remember the good," he concluded and returned the squeeze.
Lindsay looked straight in front of her and began, "My past, it's got its darker side too…" She went on to tell Mac about her life and the good and the really bad things. She talked for a long time and it almost felt like badly needed therapy. There was no exaggerated drama, but the tears began to stream down her cheeks as the memories flooded into her mind. She shuddered and at that point Mac took her into his arms and held her. She hadn't lost control of her emotions completely but gladly complied. They stayed like that for quite some time, almost entirely still, holding each other. It was almost as if they were absorbing each other's emotions. Everything seemed silent and when they parted – neither of them knew just how long they had been leaning on each other. What they did know, was that they felt better and some of the baggage had disappeared.
A new level of closeness and intimacy had risen between the two during the revelations they had just shared. A tiny, knowing and relieved smile was forming across the lips of both of them. No words were needed at this point and getting up Mac held his hand out for Lindsay. She accepted it and he helped her up, holding onto her hand a little longer before giving one final squeeze and letting go.
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They started walking in the direction they had previously come from and Mac looked at his watch. They had spent nearly two hours talking about their lives and the afternoon was effectively turning into evening. If he had even thought about going back to work earlier, now the thought was farther away than he could've ever known possible. Work was what he was good at and mostly what he lived for these days, but as he had realized before, things had changed. His eyes drifted to his side where Lindsay was striding.
"I could really use a cup of coffee…" she said wishfully, meeting Mac's eyes.
"So could I," he replied, "The usual place?"
"Definitely," Lindsay answered contently and they quickened their pace, all the while walking very closely, arms brushing continuously.
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After having their coffee, both Mac and Lindsay were feeling more brisk. All the emotion had, nevertheless, taken its toll and tiredness was taking over. Mac saw Lindsay trying to stifle a yawn.
"Want me to walk you home?"
"I'd like that," she said, sounding pleased.
They stepped out on the street when Lindsay suddenly stopped on her feet. "Wait, you probably went to work by car, didn't you?"
"I can walk on Monday morning," he said with a warm smile.
"Okay then," Lindsay acknowledged and they started walking again.
It took some time before they reached Lindsay's apartment building but time wasn't an issue. It had been fun and the light-heartedness had resumed, creating a pleasurable atmosphere – one that didn't put much strain on their emotions. They had had enough seriousness for one day. Walking up the stairs to Lindsay's door, she started to search for her keys.
"Thank you," Mac said when they ceased to walk. Lindsay looked at him questioningly. "For listening and–"
"Thank you to you too, this was a nice way to spend my Saturday," Lindsay told him. "It's good to know there's someone who I can confide in," she finished with a tiny smile.
"It truly is," Mac asserted.
They gazed into each other's eyes for a moment and when Lindsay was about to turn and open the door Mac took hold of her hand and pulled her into his arms. They hugged tightly, expressing the things they had experienced together that day; the things they had shared with one another. Mac pressed a gentle kiss on her head. It was a promise of future and an implication of his growing feelings.
"I'd better get going," he said, reluctantly letting go. "See you soon," he said, uttering it more as a question than a statement.
"You can count on it," Lindsay said, half whispering and watched him turn and head for the stairs.
'What a day it had been…' was the top thought in the minds of both of them.
That night sleep came easily and the nightmares that tended to haunt them were replaced by dreams of everything that was good. Any doubts they might have had about going down the path they were about to, had vanished into thin air. It had been a day of revelations.
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Here you have it! I loved writing this chapter because I felt this was a very important one. Well, I loved writing the previous ones too but… hope you got the idea. :) So, what did you think?
Oh and things get even more interesting (and better) in chap 13… So stay tuned!