I tried to upload this on Saturday -- Saturday! -- and for some reason, FFNet wouldn't let me. SO...! I apologize o . o I should be updating weekly, however.
If you're reading, then please review; it really warms the heart, y'know?
ii
Retrospect
Chapter 2: Yuffie to Squall
Dear Squall,
As your best friend, I naturally demand several things from our relationship:
1. You obey me.
2. You listen to everything I have to say.
3. You buy me gifts for every godforsaken holiday out there; being Atheist does not excuse you.
4. You obey me.
5. When I say "jump", you ask "how high?" and when I say "fetch me cream-filled donuts", you ask "6 pack or 12?"
Now that we've all reviewed, let's pick out a few from the list. Say, numbers 1, 2, 4, and 5 (number 3 comes later because hey, it's Yom Kippur soon). What it all boils down to is that you should listen to me when I try to nudge you in the right direction.
Well, yeah, Squall, if you haven't noticed, I've been trying to "nudge" you for weeks now and you're just being oblivious; so, time for the "push".
GO TO THE REUNION! GO, GO, GO, GO, GO! SHOO! GET! NOW! I DEMAND THEE TO GO!
Oh, and before you ask:
Aerith told me that she was going and I know you guys went to the same school. Her fault!
-ahem-
But that's besides the point. I want you to go to the reunion because A) Aerith is going, B) it should be fun and you never have fun, and C) you need to socialize more – and by more, I mean... well, you need to socialize period. Become a mortal, human being, Squall, it's not too bad, y'know.
Plus, I know you're too manly and proud to go back; I'm assuming the horror stories of you as a teenager are true then? Well, if you're too embarrassed to go back and face the reputation you left behind, you should at least go to give your ex-classmates a better impression now.
Though, how someone could have gone from ADHD spaz-kid to "I'm talking to a rock, aren't I?" stoic man, I have no idea.
... hm, good luck with that.
Still not convinced? Alright, then here are my trump cards. The first one will kind of piss you off... actually, both of them will piss you off, but this one will really rile you up. Ready? Okay, brace your unemotional self.
I already forged an affirmative letter to your school; you're going bud, whether you actually want to or not.
And well, I smooth-talked your boss into giving you the week off (he's still paying for your days, however), so if you don't go to the reunion, you'll be stir-crazy in your apartment. For 7 days. Straight.
So, um, just remember when writing me back that you love me because I'm your best friend, and regardless of circumstance, you will never, ever try to wring my neck. And that you think of me as your sister and that we have an unbreakable bond that you don't want to lose.
And with that said, Squally-dearest, I leave you to your thoughts (coughFUMINGcough).
Don't kill the goddess trying to help you!
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Yuffie
Dear Yuffie,
It's Leon. Not Squall. LEON.
You are a devil woman who never respects my wishes. No, really.
And I can't believe you would expect me to get you a present for Yom Kippur. You're Atheist too; it's not going to happen.
Call my boss, write another letter, and set things straight or I won't even get you a birthday gift. Or even a card. Or a phone call.
Fix it because I am not going to that damn reunion – I would repair things myself, but some she-devil has apparently stolen my letter and the address that goes with it and has personally ordered my boss not to take any of my calls. So.
Chop, chop.
Leon
Dear Yuffie,
I forgot to mention:
That list was horrible, what makes you think I'd actually go out and get you donuts?
Leon
Dear Squall (SQUALL, S-Q-U-A-L-L),
XP
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Yuffie
Dear devil-spawn,
LEON. L-E-O-N. Leon. Leon. Leon. LEON. Spell it right...!
Leon
Dear rock-head,
Make me.
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Yuffie
Dear Yuffie,
It's been a week, she-devil, and I still haven't heard any word from my boss. This leads me to believe that things are not taken care of.
One last time. Fix this – I'm not going to that reunion, period.
Leon
Dear Squall,
That beautifully crafted affirmation letter says differently, Squally. Pack your bags, m'boy, you're headed to Traverse Town in a couple of days!
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Yuffie
Dear Yuffie,
Dead. You are dead next time I see you.
Leon
Dear Squall,
Aw, you don't mean that!
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Yuffie
Dear Squall,
... you don't really mean that, do you? I thought you were kidding at first, but then I realized you don't joke. Ever. So now I'm kind of worried.
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Yuffie
Dear Squall,
This silence is giving me a bad feeling, Squall. Still worried over here... Seifer did give you that nice display sword for your birthday...
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Yuffie
Dear Squally,
Oh shit.
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Yuffie
I don't know Yuffie all that well... so pardon if she's OOC. Yeah, Leon used to have ADHD -- how messed up is that? Pff, Yuffie has one of those electronic signatures that goes on all her emails :P
Next week? Parents to Riku