Naruto:
Naruto walked into the classroom and saw the teacher sitting with all the kids in a circle.
"Hello…" he waved as the children all turned to stare at him.
"Class, this our new assistant: Naruto Uzumaki." She said standing up and walking over to him.
"Hey! Your hair's funny looking!" a little girl with purple hair exclaimed.
The teacher smiled, "They're harmless, don't worry."
"Umm…"
"I have to run to a meeting with the other teachers," she told him, "I'll be back in an hour. Make sure that Tomoyo doesn't eat the glue, and that they aren't let outside."
Naruto started to protest, but she quickly left the classroom, leaving him to fend for himself.
"Okay, who wants to hear a story?" he asked.
"We heard one yesterday." A boy with blue hair told him.
"Well, you're going to hear another one today," he answered, "Now everyone to the circle."
They did as he asked and sat around him.
"Okay, once upon a time there was this guy and his name was… Sasuke," he began, "Sasuke was a 'great ninja' and everyone loved him, but one day-"
"Hey! I like Sasuke!" a little boy with a band-aid on his head cried.
"I know he's so hot!" two girls giggled.
Naruto groaned, already the class shad been tainted by him!
"But one day as he was walking through the woods some Sound ninja attacked him, leaving him without a leg and an arm. Then-"
"EEEW! That's gross!" girls chorused.
"Whatever, on with the story," Naruto said, "Sasuke was able to get back to the village and-"
"Did he have to hop?" a boy piped up.
"No, he crawled."
"Oh…" he said.
"Okay, and when Sasuke returned-"
"Did he have to go through mud?" the boy asked again.
"Yes." Naruto said, stamping on a smile, "When he got back all the girls fled from him and wept at his sorry state-"
"Poor Sasuke." A girl commented.
"POOR SASUKE!" two others wailed in unison.
Naruto tried to control his temper, "But Sasuke was able to get a job and pay for medical treat-"
"What did he do?" the first boy asked.
"He was a… custodian."
"Where?"
"At the Hokage's estate."
"Oh."
"Any more questions?"
"Nope."
"Good," Naruto commented, "So Sasuke worked there and suddenly he died of a heart attack. The end."
"… That's it?" the girl with purple hair asked.
"Yeah."
"Oh, umm… okay!" she said.
"Hey Naruto…" a little boy called from the back.
"Yes?"
"Miyuki just puked."
"What?" Naruto exclaimed and found a girl with throw-up dribbled down her jumper and onto the floor around her.
"Hey look!" a boy exclaimed, " I can see a carrot!"
"Where?" the other boys exclaimed, struggling to see.
Miyuki broke down into tears while the boys only inspected her bile further. Naruto picked her up and placed her onto the edge of the sink, a few of the boys followed them.
"Okay," Naruto said to himself, "what do I do? What do I do?"
His thoughts were shattered when he heard the distinct sound of something big breaking. He cringed as another thing was broken, then another, and another.
"Okay!" he cried going over to where three flower vases were shattered on the ground, "Who did it?"
"He did it."
"No! He did it."
"I didn't do it! HE DID IT!"
Naruto sighed as the three boys startled fighting over who had done it. He took the boys and placed them in separate corners, going back to the sink only to hear the wails of "I'm hungry!" He took out a box of Cheerios and had the class line up.
"Alright, all of you get ready," he told them grabbing a handful, "I'm going to throw it in the air and you have to catch it with your mouth. NO hands."
"COOL!" some boys exclaimed.
Naruto threw some in the air and sighed when heads banged into each other trying to get a snack. He threw two handfuls at a time and watched as turmoil ensued. At that precise moment the teacher returned.