THAT FEELING
I awake with the feeling again,
It's the feeling that my mind is broken and my body is dazed.
It's the feeling that I shouldn't be here.
It's the feeling that I don't know how I got here.
It flips the switch, oh dear.
That's why I am here, I did it again.
It's the feeling of shameful remorse,
It's the feeling of "who did I kill today?"
It's the feeling of self-loathing and hatred.
It's the twisted realisation of what I have become...
It's the feeling I love.
It's the feeling I cherish.
It's the feeling I live for.
It's the feeling you die for.
-Unknown
He was feeling nauseous.
The pain in his stomach wasn't subsiding any less in fact it had increased ten-fold, the bile kept rising to his throat only to be shoved down and any relief by medication was fleeting and rarely worked. He couldn't figure out why he was so sick, he lay on the cool cotton sheets as they slowly warmed to be flames beneath his body and he moaned at the heat. He was dying. He was so sure of it.
And it was a horrible way to go.
"Your majesty, I-" Oliver stooped as he took a good look at his king, rolling on his sheets with a feverish glistening on his skin. He was moaning in unease and was grasping at the sheets tightly as if they were his only life line, Oliver stored over and placed a hand on his friends face but jerked it away quickly as his forehead nearly burned his hand. "Kal? Kal are you okay?"
"So much pain… Make it, stop… Please." The raw emotion in his sire's voice floored Oliver, Kal wasn't exactly known for opening up to other people. Especially when it came to his venerability, having had it drilled into him at a young age that venerability was weakness in a king. Oliver often wondered if Kal wasn't worse off then he, for Oliver had lost his loving parents and still become a good man while Kal had so much pressure placed upon him Oliver was surprised he wasn't mad.
"Kal, what's wrong."
"So much pain…" He trailed off and Oliver sighed pinching the bridge of his nose impatiently. "I hurts, God I feel so hot." He began to turn again and scratch his arm and Oliver snatched his hand away when he saw deep, bleeding and agitated clawed marks down his arms.
"Kal, oh God… I'm going to call Ariadnne …" Oliver looked around and pushed the communications to Ariadnne's cottage, she answered with a 'Kal? What's the matter?' and Oliver quickly explained everything to her as she told him she would be right there and disconnected. When she got there Oliver nearly collapsed with relief, it had felt like forever and Kal hadn't improved.
"Oliver, how long has he been like this?" Ariadnne's short brown hair was pulled into two clips to keep her fringe away from her face as she scanned Kal with warm blue eyes slowly, taking in every aspect of him calculatingly as Oliver watched her worried. She met his worried brown eyes and a small comforting smile graced her face, and answering smile bloomed across his.
"I don't know, I just came in and he was like this…"
"Okay, Kal… Do you have nausea, vomiting, feel hot, tired and unexplainably uneasy?" Kal nodded wordlessly and shifted, groaning and dragging the sheets with him, Ariadnne turned to Oliver annoyed. "How long has it been since he saw her wife?" Oliver looked startled at the question before shrugging uneasily.
"Maybe a week? They had a fight over their… Living arrangements and Kal is refusing to apologize and Chloe locked herself in her room…" Oliver was cut off by a smack to his head as he looked at the healer annoyed, she was tapping her foot impatiently. Oliver considered asking her what the problem was but the pain in his head told him that was probably a bad idea, although she only came up to his shoulder she was a powerful teenager, Oliver even trained her himself.
"I saw her highness today, same symptoms, same reaction… You are an idiot Oliver, they were bonded at that wedding. They are so adverse to their… Union it is making them sick! And what do you do? Allow them to act like teenagers! God, how you rule the army of this planet as well as you do I will never know…" She trailed off as she placed a cold rag upon Kal's head; the prince arced up into the cloth gratefully. "Why are you still here? Go get her highness…"
"But…"
"I mean it Oliver, now!"
"No! He'll kill me!"
"Don't be ridiculous…
"What? I'm being ridiculous? He runs an army Ariadnne!"
"Oliver," Ariadnne sighed as she dragged a hand through her hair distractedly, her clip fell out and she cursed and glared at Oliver. "I'm going to give you to the count of three. One, two…"
"Ow! You said I had until the count of three…"
"I shouldn't have had to have gotten to three." She said pointedly looking to the door.
"Okay, okay... I'm going!" He slinked out of the door as it softly closed behind him, Ariadnne shook her head and sat upon the edge of Kal's bed, stroking his hair soothingly. She was a few years younger then Kal but was without a doubt the only person he trusted to have all the answers when he was sick. She was by no means perfect, between her ever changing moods and her constant sarcastic manner she often pushed people away and wasn't quite everyone's idea of normal. Especially being a healer at such a young age. Kal murmured something unrecognizable and Ariadnne sighed at her prince's attitude.
"You would think you would act at least a little grown up about this, it's not her fault you know. She was trying to do her best even while you were acting the snobbish prince I know you're not, plus you know how bonds work yet you ignored the warning signs… I know you are still caught up with your, well I guess it's an affair now, with that stupid kitchen girl Alicia. Oh, she has told me all about it and tried to rub my face in your relationship, as if I care about that stupid spoilt brat. The fact is she wasn't fit to rule the country and I'm sorry but I couldn't let you drag this country down. That's why I allowed you to be bonded to Chloe… She'll make such a great queen if you just give her a chance Kal…" She trailed off uneasily and removed her hands from his hair, looking down at them on her lap.
She recalled a bond mate and spoke to him softly of exactly how a bond mate is a serious thing. "It takes a lot of work to get rid of one, because it exists on a far more spiritual level then many other bonds of connection and marriage. It is love beyond adoration, want beyond desire and passion beyond infatuation, almost impossible to control once forged and resiting it, as you have figured out, ends with withdrawals and an aching need that cannot be fulfilled by anything other then that person…"
"I need…" Kal started as Ariadnne rolled her eyes and sighed, dragging her hands through his hair again as one would do with a particularly restless child.
"What do you need sweetie?"
"I don't know Ariadnne." He murmured sleepily into the pillow, "I think I'll feel better when I have it though." She shook her head softly as he hoped earrings hit the side of her neck softly, looking down at Kal with a mixture of frustration and love.
"You are a silly boy my prince." The door opened softly and she looked up to see Chloe in the arms of Oliver, who was having trouble holding the thrashing, moaning girl and keeping her from falling and killing herself. "Having fun?"
"Not now Ariadnne, what do I do with her?"
"Um, put her on the bed next to Kal."
"But…"
"Oliver, just don't argue with me right now okay. It's late, I'm tired and I get the feeling Kal is going to yell at me when he recovers… Just please co-operate." Oliver sighed and ruffled her hair affectionately as he placed Chloe onto the bed next to Kal, Oliver watched on in shock as Kal reached over and draped an arm over Chloe before pulling her closer. Their breathing became more regular and the two slumbered on.
"Much better." Came the breathless whisper from Kal's lips as Ariadnne tried unsuccessfully to hide a snort.
"That's not what he was saying before." She muttered affectionately as Oliver looked at her and walked over to the wall, pushing a few buttons two cups of what was the equivalent to tea came out and he brought it over to her. The two moved over to the couch and sipped their brew together while keeping an eye on the couple, they rarely stirred and when they did move it was simply to pull the other closer or change positions. Not once was the touch between the two broken.
"Why is this happening?" Oliver asked Ariadnne as he slowly sipped the drink, Ariadnne curled her feet under her as she stirred hers and blew softly across it to cool it down.
"Bonds are very strong things Oliver, they are rarely entered into lightly and to do so can be dangerous both physically and mentally…But you know all of that already. I think the main problem was that Chloe did not previously know about the bond and Kal was too stressed-"
"-And stupid."
"And stupid," Ariadnne agreed. "To have done anything about it, his annoyance at his marriage to Chloe made his overlook, or forgot everything he was told about bonds. He holed himself away from the world and mentally and physically ignored the bond… This resulted in his illness and Chloe's too, because she was more willing but the bond is a shared experience. Its purpose is to heighten everything you feel for someone in a positive fashion. It's not supposed to trick people, it just allows a person to see the good in their partner and allow them to love and honor that person…"
"So, because Kal ignored the bond…"
"He made Chloe sick and himself too, that boy always was far too stubborn." Ariadnne shook her head as Oliver laughed in remembrance of a little boy he had been raised with, who often got him in trouble as a child.
"You know, I never asked you how you came to work for the royal family. I mean you're only…"
"I'm 16, 2 years younger then his highness, but with more common sense." She said rolling her eyes. "My mother died when I was 6, well she killed herself. My dad tried so hard to keep everything together, and he did an amazing job… But in the end it was all too much for him and he went insane, kept seeing my mother everywhere and even began to talk to her. So then I was moved to an orphanage, one day the royals came to do a check, right? and Kal was bitten by a… Well, it was going to kill him if I hadn't known what to do… So they apprenticed me out and poof… Healer."
"Do you miss your parents?" Oliver's eyes were sympathetic as Ariadnne became thoughtful as she shook her head slowly; she was frowning in thought and sipped her drink before replying in a low, slow voice.
"No, I miss who they had been sure, I mean from the few good memories I have of them… But I don't really miss the people I lost." She startled off the couch so suddenly Oliver fell off and landed with a thump, he had been about to protest but when he looked up and opened his mouth all that came out was laughter.
Ariadnne stood at the foot of the bed gaping as Kal began to kiss Chloe's neck, he was murmuring something and Oliver and Ariadnne were torn between amusement and the urge to get this recorded for future blackmail.
"Kal... Kal…" Ariadnne called softly trying not to disturb Chloe, when that didn't work she turned to Oliver and shrugged in a 'you do something' way, Oliver looked at the two of them and walked to the head of the bed grabbing a glass of water on the way. He grinned mischievously and waited for Kal to wake up.
Kal left a sleeping Chloe to go to his throne room. He hadn't been there for days, spending most of his time sleeping or thinking. But now he needed time away from her, she was causing his mind to spin and his thoughts to change and morph and Ariadnne assured him that no bond could create these feelings, simply enhance them to their full potential. This was both wondrous and disturbing in its potential. Like a flower newly grown and lovingly neglected, it could rise like a phoenix or crumble like a wall of war.
"Kal, you cannot change what you feel, and to ignore this bond you have… I am not saying you have to love the girl but to become friends with her is really all you need, to deny any connection with her may kill you both."
So here he was, annoyed, restless and generally concerned that even after 3 days Chloe's fever was breaking and Ariadnne had said she was going to watch after the princess until she woke up. Kal was both thankful and bemused about how quickly and easily the younger girl had taken to the princess, in fact almost everyone he had met had seemed to accept her with a smile on their face. She was truly adored by his subjects and…
Oh, who the hell cares! He was not meant to feel this way, especially not for a human, the spineless pathetic creatures. Chloe who was one of them, with her stupid argumentative tongue and know-it-all attitude. Chloe who could infuriate him with one word and have them screaming at each other, who could arouse passion in him with one slip of the tongue…
Oh, curse it all he did feel something for the blond haired hurricane. She was embedded in him in some way, he wasn't sure if it was admiration but he was going to give it a go. He owed it to her and him and the fact that she had almost died…
He was going to do it because it was the right thing to do.
And Ariadnne was going to kick his butt if he didn't.
Hey guys, Sorry this chappy is short too, it's just I wanted to finish it and find a direction for the romance and stuff… And normally I hate OC's… I just wanted to bring this one in. I'm on the look out for a BETA too so if anyone wants to help…
P.S. Here's another little skitty thing for you.
Click.
Bang.
Click.
Bang.
Click.
Bang.
Click
…
"Yes…"
Bang.
"NOOO!"
Click.
Bang.
Crash!
Chloe stood above the device with a triumphant smile on her face.
"Ha, ha! I beat you." She laughed dancing as the machine lay smashed on the ground, it almost looked like it was glaring… But it was a machine so it wasn't.
"You know," Ariadnne told her leaning against the door. "Chloe, the reason it didn't stay down was because you pushed instead of pulled."
"No way, the arrow clearly pointed…" Chloe trailed off as she discovered her mistake. "Um, oops?"