Regrets and Longing
She couldn't take it anymore. Being called a murderer crushed her very soul and it wasn't her fault he was taken and killed. She was framed, but no one believed her. She only got off because the evidence wasn't enough to put her away. But the villagers had a different view of their once respected neighbor. Children were afraid of her. She couldn't have that anymore.
So she moved. She packed up and moved to a different city and placed herself under a new identity and a new name. She didn't want to remember the past, the pain. It hurt too much. She wants to bring him back, but she knows the sacrifices she will have to make for a human transmutation.
Forbidden alchemy. She knew better though. She was taught better than that, and she wasn't going to kick her mentor in the mouth by attempting it. There had to be another way. She knew that other way, but it was a myth - something you tell to children to put them to sleep. Adults searched long and far for it, and nothing has ever been found.
But that didn't mean the Philosopher's Stone wasn't out there somewhere. She could find it, she knew she could. She learned about it through her father since he left sufficient notes for the gaining of its whereabouts. But it would be dangerous.
So what? She loved danger. The beginning of this entire thing started when she was younger and she met danger up face to face. She was an alchemist… and a damn good one too. Hell, she'd be able to take on several State Alchemists at once if she felt like it. That's how confident she is in her abilities. But not only that, she was fast. Able to fight with lightning speed, she would attack and no one would know what hit them.
She could find the stone if she wanted, no big deal. She just needed a place to start, some leads. But the thing is… she had none. Well, if you count the Military, but there was no way in hell she was going to become a State Alchemist or associate herself with them. She despised them and would quickly put any one of them in their place if they crossed her path. It was a waste of their abilities and a disgrace to their names. All they are to the Military are their firepower. Alchemists were used to clean up messes the Military couldn't and were sent to do the dirty work.
Lap dogs; they were all lap dogs and she refused to become one just to get to their confidential files. There were other ways.
She felt so much anger with the Alchemists in the Ishbal Rebellion when she learned about it. It was just sick. If she weren't sane, she would have committed genocide against the State Alchemists a long time ago.
But she would have to wait for the right moment. Right then, she was on the search for a Homunculus; one by the name of Envy. She never knew why she was so interested in finding him, but she was more confused about why she would run away when he found her. It's happened and for some reason she felt quite strange around him whenever she caught a glimpse of him. Something seemed familiar, and she could never quite put her finger on it.
But she hasn't looked for him, and he hasn't found her. She was somewhat relieved that he hasn't been around. She liked the quietness of her new home in Lior. She liked the city, but was a little on edge to know that a State Alchemist came by about a few weeks before she moved in. She was happy she missed that. She really didn't like them.
But what she looked forward to was the reply she would receive from Pinako. She had just mailed a letter to her that morning, so it would get to her before Edward and Alphonse were due to arrive in Resembul.
Thinking about them made her sick sometimes. Not a disgusted sick, but a sorrowful sick. They were her brothers, and she was their older sister, and yet she didn't take the trip to go back and be with them. Her father said she couldn't go back. She never found out why not, but she listened like a good little girl and stayed away. And according to Pinako, they were looking for their father. That meant they could find her, so she took on a new identity and a new name.
Sometimes walking around Lior acting like a teenaged boy wasn't so bad.