500 Miles
Hellfire
By Princess Alexandria
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Warning on language.
Nightcrawler was only a familiar face because she'd met him in the first world she visited, but this one was younger. Christy glanced at the blue man again and then out the window. She'd listened to the lecture about going out on her own barely without saying anything. Apparently Raven was left out of missions on purpose often, because people didn't respect her lack of offensive powers or defensive powers. Christy could understand how useless her doubles powers might seem, but she'd done well in her home world with only her ability to sense death. It could be done.
Christy pitied her double yet again. Raven paid a harsh price to be a member of the team, lost the woman she loved for this team, and she couldn't tell them. She'd more than earned her right to be a hero if she wanted it, but Christy couldn't understand how Raven could follow a man like Xavier. Look what he'd done to Tessa. Christy could never follow a man that did something like that to someone she loved, or even someone she didn't even like all that much.
Storm's Mohawk drew her eyes a few times. Strangely that looked good on her. The leather made Storm look like a bigger dyke than Christy really was though, and Christy thought about some of the speculation people in her own world, the ones that saw the Xmen as comic book characters, had about Storm. Some said gay, some bi, some straight, but there was a lot of debate about Storm's sexual orientation. Maybe Christy would just ask.
"Good luck getting an answer." She barely heard the whisper out of her own lips.
"What?" Logan turned to look at her and Christy shook her head with a slight smile. She wasn't eager to start talking and accidentally expose herself to be the one possessing their teammate, instead of their teammate.
"Nice outfit." Kitty smirked at her. Christy glanced at the slavewear she still had on, the corset and panties, the cuffs, and just sighed, before looking out the window. She was pretty sure Raven would have been embarrassed to have her teammates see her like this before, but neither of them cared now. At least the cuffs covered the worst of the bruises. "You don't seem all that happy to be free."
"Oh I'm happy." Christy finally spoke. She just wished Tessa came with her.
Storm pulled onto the freeway and Christy could feel the tension in the car. She looked around to see Logan staring at her. "Want ta tell us why you were there?"
"Or what happened to you?" Kitty was staring at her wrists and Christy self consciously pulled her cuff down a little further to cover the bruise that had been revealed because Tessa hadn't wanted to make these too tight when Christy was still injured. It was dark enough that there was a chance Kitty was just looking at the cuffs and not the bruises.
Great, she had a choice of two questions to answer, one she couldn't and the other she didn't think was something they could talk about here. Christy sighed and her shoulders slumped a little. "Not really." The intelligent eyes staring at her from the rearview mirror as Storm glanced at her seemed a little concerned.
"How are you?" Kitty just wouldn't drop it. Christy turned to stare out at New York, yet another New York.
"It wasn't a great week." She spoke quietly and flinched a little when Logan reached out and rested a hand on her knee for just a moment. He moved it away after he felt her flinch.
"Darlin' do I need to go back and kill someone?" He spoke gently.
Christy turned to stare at him. Should she tell him?
"I thought Xmen didn't kill." Kitty muttered, and Christy looked at the sour look on the girls face. Kitty didn't get what they were talking about. Well she was a kid, and she shouldn't be on the damned team. Again the Professor was sacrificing a kid for his dream.
She turned to stare out the window again.
"Raven?" Logan spoke again, while Kitty was talking with the Russian boy.
Christy tried to open her mouth and tell him that he was right and that Raven had been raped, but Raven chose that moment to push her way into control. She couldn't answer him. Okay, she could take a hint. Raven didn't want to talk about this, or hear her talk about it either. "It was nothing Logan." Raven lied.
"It wasn't your fault, you don't have to lie about it." Christy thought to her double, concerned about her. "Are these people your friends, can't you trust them?" Christy added as gently as she could.
Raven didn't respond, but Christy felt she had no choice but to give Raven what she wanted for now. A van probably wasn't the best place to reveal this anyhow.
The rest of the ride to the mansion was filled with Kitty's nonstop chattering about the mission they'd been on, the one that kept them from coming to get Raven right away. Kitty proudly talked about her own contributions in that mission. Christy wished she would just shut up. She didn't say it though; the girl's talking did keep the conversation away from her experiences.
When she got to the mansion she got out of the van and moved towards the mansion, while being careful to not seem too surprised by the appearance. In the first world it had looked like a complex, but here is really was just one mansion. Someday this thing was going to get knocked down. She took the stairs, glad that most of her muscle pain had eased up. She waited for the boy, Piotr, to go inside, before following him, because she wasn't sure if there was a security system on the door as well as the gate, and she hadn't told anyone who she was yet.
As she stepped in Christy twisted her ankle just so and fell partly. It was a carefully orchestrated move. She hissed in fake pain and limped a few steps. "Are you alright?" A German accent was the first to ask.
"Kurt," Christy turned to look at him. "Can you help me to my room?" It couldn't have been more perfect. The teleporter just picked her up and ported her there. She'd have a tough time finding her way back, but she bought more time. "Thank you." She rested her hand on his shoulder as he put her down.
"My pleasure." He smiled at her and then tilted his head just a little. "The Professor would like to talk to you after you change." He blushed a little as he glanced at her outfit and then looked away. That shyness made her feel a bit embarrassed herself. She'd gotten used to it, but here, being the only one dressed like this, it was no longer comfortable. One good thing was that he was the first to see her in the light and he was too shy to really look.
"Okay, well then I guess I'll have to change." She smiled weakly at him before opening the door for him. He could have teleported, but Christy wanted to see which direction he would walk so she had something to start with when she left this room. She closed the door gently and turned to lean on the door and stare at the room.
"I've never seen another Christy's room before." She spoke softly to Raven as she took in the large bedroom. It looked like Raven had a single, instead of sharing like Christy remembered reading a lot of the Xstudents had to do. That was one thing she was grateful for.
Christy took a deep breath as she realized that this was the first time she had actually been alone since she got there. Brief stolen moments here and there didn't compare to the fact that she could turn the lock on this door, so she did. Privacy. Her tense muscles started to relax.
Her hand caressed the dresser as she looked at the pictures. On one side of the mirror sat a picture of a younger Raven, dressed in the traditional black and yellow, sitting with the original Xmen. Christy reached out and picked up the team picture. She looked into the smiling faces of Scott and Jean, the joking look Bobby had on his face, but it was Raven's eyes that drew her attention. The smile looked false and her eyes looked sad. "You were an original Xmen?" Christy whispered as she stared a little longer. Raven didn't answer her. Christy glanced at the more recent photo, with Raven sitting on a couch and Storm standing behind her. The people that had just rescued her were all in that picture. Raven's new team apparently. Why wasn't she still with the others?
Christy moved to look at the room more objectively, or attempting to. It was hard to play spy in her own double's room. She caressed the bedspread as she passed it to look at a collection of drawings on the wall. They were good. She could see Jean sleeping with her head down on a desk. Another with Storm laying out in the sun. Another of a familiar pose but no details in the face, Tessa was hidden in plain sight on Raven's wall. The small scrawled signature in the corner of the drawings surprised her. Her double could draw and she did it well. Christy leaned closer and studied the clean lines and shading. She'd always wished she had artistic ability and here this Raven did. Raven had to, because she had no pictures of her Tessa. Christy saw other familiar poses, or the backs of women with short black hair. Christy would bet money that Tessa used to have short hair. Raven was probably passing her Tessa off as a character and not a memory.
The entire wall has scatterings of Raven's art, framed in whatever must have been on sale from the wide selection of frames Christy could see and arranged in a wild non-order. Christy glanced over Scott, barely took a moment to see Logan, she was searching for Tessa and she was finding her in the backgrounds of quite a few drawings, the main character in a few others. God, Raven must have been in a lot of pain when Tessa left.
"Just because you never made love to her doesn't mean you weren't lovers." Christy whispered as her finger traced over the line of Tessa's cheek on a more abstract drawing. Raven and Christy had more in common than Christy thought. It was just that Raven was searching for her lover in her own world, fighting things that kept them apart while still coming home to the same bed every night.
The cool breeze near the window reminded Christy she wasn't really dressed yet. She moved back to the dresser and searched out more comfortable underwear and socks. After setting them on the dresser she removed the clothes she'd been given, setting the cuffs and corset in a drawer, and since she didn't know where the laundry went she shoved the underwear in there. She'd wash them all later. It was morbid but if Raven had all those pictures of Tessa around, she might want to keep the clothes Tessa gave her to wear. Raven could figure it out later.
She stood in front of the closet in her fresh underwear and warm socks, looking over the selection. It was more varied than Christy would have expected. There were a few elegant dresses, jeans, tshirts, a business outfit or two. Maybe Raven wasn't the spy Christy was training to be, but her closet was a good start. There probably wasn't an occasion that Raven didn't have an outfit for.
The green sweatshirt caught her eye and Christy reached out to pull it off the hanger. It had a prominent place and was most likely a favorite. She pulled it over her head and then searched for a loose looking pair of pants to go with it. Tight pants would aggravate her bruises and cuts. Jeans would be too rough.
It took some work to find sweatpants, but she did. They even went with the shirt. Christy pulled them on and then stared as her feet didn't pop out the bottom. These were for someone taller. Given the height of most Xmen it could be almost anyone.
Still it was the softest pants she found so Christy just carefully folded the legs and tucked them into the socks in such a way they looked like they fit. She then pulled on some tennis shoes and moved back to the mirror. She was covered. Christy pulled on the sleeves noticing how they more than did the job.
The bed was soft as she sat on it with a sigh. The old man could wait a long time for all she cared. "Raven." She spoke softly. "Are you doing okay?" If this were a separate person in a separate body she'd caress her gently and look into her eyes with concern, but she couldn't do that.
She didn't get an answer, so Christy just sighed and ran her hand gently over her other arm, petting herself through the soft shirt. Christy laid back on the bed and took a deep breath, trying to feel more comfortable in these surroundings. "What do you want me to do about the Professor?" Christy imagined her rifle and his shiny bald head in the crosshairs. Would that help Raven and Tessa? Christy started to seriously consider it, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Just a minute." She called out loud enough to be heard out the door. A head popped through the door and smiled at her.
"Professor wanted me to make sure you didn't fall asleep. He's waiting."
"I could have been naked." Christy glared at the girl.
"But you weren't." Still Kitty blushed a little before stepping into the room right through the closed door. Interesting power.
Kitty was staring at her, studying her. "The Professor told us about how there are two of you. That you've possessed Raven."
"Yeah, but it's temporary." Christy patted the bed as an invitation. "It was an accident and I'll fix it. It just takes time." How much did Tessa tell the Professor and why didn't anyone question how he knew this? Well, it was nice she didn't have to tell them herself and deal with the disbelief. She was sick of having to prove she didn't belong.
Really in all the worlds she'd been to, it was Tessa that believed her the easiest. Of course Tessa was the first person to actually know her double, and Tessa would pick up differences easily.
"What was it like where you come from?"
"Look, I'm really not in the mood to chat. I haven't had a great time since I got here." Christy sighed.
"What was it like, what happened?"
Christy opened her mouth to brush this aside, but then she stared at the girl, wondering if Tessa had been this age when she came to Xavier, or if she was older. "It was horrible." She spoke wearily.
Kitty moved to sit on the bed next to her and Christy hoped her double would forgive this, but she really didn't want to see a kid like Kitty become the next Tessa, or sadly enough Raven. "What happened? I don't think the others will tell me later, will they?" And Kitty proved to be more observant than Christy was giving her credit for.
"I was raped." Kitty gasped. "And that's just the start of the fun I've had, we've had. Raven actually had it worse." Christy stared into Kitty's paling face. "These missions aren't always a few punches and running away. It's dangerous Kitty."
"Oh God." Kitty whispered. "If we'd come sooner?"
She could sugar coat it, but she wouldn't. If Xavier was going to send children into danger they deserved to know the truth. "The worst of it, absolute worst, happened after someone tried to get word to the Professor for me. The White Queen had to save me, but no one could save Raven, and Tessa got me a doctor to heal up the damage. Emma and Tessa are the only reason we're alive." Only because if Christy didn't have those two to lean on she would have risked it all on an escape attempt, preferring death to that life. Christy sighed heavily.
Kitty opened her mouth, but she closed it softly before saying anything. The talkative girl couldn't think of something to say most likely. When the concern disappeared suddenly and Kitty sat up a bit more energetically Christy's eyes widened. "The Professor wants to see you now." Kitty stood up, moving like a teenager without a care and Christy's eyes hardened. She'd seen a mind wipe before. She knew if she asked Kitty what she'd just said Kitty wouldn't be able to answer her.
"Oh, well that's good." Her voice held a hint of a growl. "Because I really want to see him. Take me to him." She didn't bother with pretending to know the way. Kitty gave her a strange look, but stood up with her.
………………..
"How much did Tessa tell you?" Christy spoke coldly as she moved to sit in the chair across from his desk. The way he watched her made it clear he was intrigued by her. She watched him carefully as he leaned forward and put his folded hands on the desk.
"I know that you've possessed Raven, but that she's still aware."
Christy swallowed. Her possessing Raven didn't seem like the main issue right now. Christy pulled her sleeves up and put her battered wrists on the desk. She watched him look at them. "Raven fought hard, she probably would have cut her own hands off to get away. I don't know how many people raped her, well over thirty total I'd guess." Her words were an angry clip. "Are you going to make her keep it a secret, like she did something wrong? Is she supposed to just get over it? How about the fact that she knows Tessa endured a few rapes in her place to protect her, the woman she loves had no other alternative but to take her place because she couldn't contact you and you didn't give her any other contacts she could use." She was staring into his face as he looked at her bruises, but she didn't see shock, regret was there, but no shock. Christy suspected he knew about the rapes, probably told Tessa that the work she did was so valuable it was worth her pain. That would explain why Tessa stayed there.
Christy's eyes hardened. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I'm trying to help build a world where mutants and humans…"
"No, I'm talking about right now." Christy interrupted him. "Are you thinking what a shame, looks like Raven won't be useful for a little while. Who else can I send into danger until I can convince her to sell her soul to me again? OH, and I'm so glad Tessa handles being raped better than Raven, it means I can leave here there for years." Christy slammed her fists down on his desk and the pain radiated up her arms, but she didn't acknowledge it. "Or are you thinking about the therapy Raven needs and how you can get Tessa out of there before she's hurt again?"
His silence disgusted her. "You are a fucking monster." She remembered calling someone else that, but it applied to him too. Christy stood up. "I'll be working on separating from Raven. I know you want your pawn back, but it might take a little while."
"I've removed Raven's clearance to the more sensitive parts of the mansion, just until she's in control again. I can have Kitty or one of the others show you around."
"Yes, about Kitty." Christy stopped walking away. "Any reason why you wouldn't let her remember my telling her about the rapes? Would that be so that she wasn't leery of following you? Perhaps you plan to send the little girl to the Hellfire club as a Christmas gift next year? They don't treat their Christmas gifts well there."
"I would never send a child into that." He sounded angry.
"Oh, but you did." Christy's fists clenched. "And you sent someone's lover too. Why didn't you send Jean? Why Tessa? Why was Raven's love worth so little to you, but Scott's you kept here and protected?" Her eyes were watery and she turned to grab the handle. "You better think of a good answer, because I'm sure Raven would love to know, and Tessa deserves to know." She opened the door.
"Where are you going?"
"We're tired. We've had a rough week and just want to get some sleep." Christy's sarcasm and anger filled the room before she slammed the door hard enough to hear something crack as she left.
She doubted that anything she could say would sway that man, but Raven was a witness to everything Christy did, and Christy didn't want her double near that man. Charles Xavier was a traitor. That man took in young mutants and manipulated them into doing what he wanted, and if he could do what he did to Tessa, he was clearly not a good man in this world. Any man that would send a young girl into the Hellfire club to spy, abandon her to that treatment, was not a good man.
Why the hell did Raven stay here after Tessa left?
Christy walked up the stairs, ignoring Storm's searching look as she passed the woman and moved into Raven's bedroom again. She wasn't in the mood to play twenty questions, and anyone here would want to know more about her, or what happened, and why bother to tell anyone if Xavier wouldn't let them remember?
Who in the hell was going to be there for Raven when Christy left if he wouldn't let anyone remember what she told them about the rape? Was it so that he could continue to control Tessa, so that the Hellfire club was kept safe so he had something to spy on?
She had never liked that man.
Christy moved to lay on the bed fully clothed and stared at the ceiling again. She would have liked to talk to Raven, but she didn't know what to say. The person Raven had decided to trust with her life wasn't trustworthy, and Raven's lover was still in that hell. Did Raven have anyone she could trust? Anyone else?
"My family wasn't thrilled with having a mutant in the house." Raven whispered. Christy felt like her heart was being squeezed, that was horrible. Christy wrapped her arms around her body and tried to convey to Raven who she was really hugging. "These people, the Xmen, are the only family I have left." And that answered why Raven stayed.
"I'm sorry." Christy thought as she moved a hand to caress her stomach softly, moving the shirt out of her way so she could.
"He really knows doesn't he?" Raven's voice cracked. "He knew all along what they were doing to my Tessa."
"I think so." Christy thought and let the tears fall. Raven was crying. "Oh Baby, I'm so sorry." Christy thought and she hated that she was trapped inside at this moment.
It would be so easy for her to kill that man for Raven. He'd never see it coming. He was just a telepath and they didn't have any power over Christy.
"You said you were a murderer." Raven spoke softly, asking one question Christy really didn't want to hear. "Seeing you from here, that's hard to believe."
Christy thought for a moment. How could she explain that she had to kill, and kill so often, to protect and provide for the people depending on her? How could she admit this to Raven without looking like a monster? She could lie and say everyone she killed was evil, but they weren't, or she didn't know if they were. She killed those that were convenient. Christy thought about her home world, the violence and death. She remembered Casey and lowering her into the ground, how watching the children die got too hard and she resorted to drastic measures to try and avoid watching them die. It took Emma's telepathic abilities to explain this to her lover, she showed Emma everything, but verbally, she had never really tried to explain it.
"Hell." The voice distracted her. "Your world was like I imagined hell to be." Raven sounded a bit shocked, and Christy realized how much her double could see of her thoughts. Somehow she hadn't expected that she shared everything she thought about.
"Yes it was hell." Christy thought mentally sighed. It was a strange feeling not controlling her mouth, but she didn't want to take it back, because she couldn't hear Raven's thoughts. It was all one way. "But I really did learn that what doesn't kill you can make you stronger." She thought about the rape and wanted her double to know she could come out of that stronger. That it didn't have to destroy her.
"You were raped too."
"But I left the worst of it to you." Christy felt a wave of guilt about that again. "And yes it may take a while, but I plan to be okay, because I won't let them win. They wanted to break us Raven, it wasn't about anything else but trying to hurt us, and I refuse to give them that."
"You make it sound so easy."
"It isn't." Christy caressed Raven's stomach again. "It's damn hard to shake off pain, but it's better than living with it. I've buried so many people I loved, it's sad to say but I learned to distance myself from pain because I had to. I would have killed myself long ago if I didn't learn how to survive, to keep moving." Christy rarely talked so frankly about herself, but Raven needed this.
"Don't kill the Professor." Raven spoke so quietly it was a strain to hear it and she was right there.
"Okay." Christy still wanted to do it, but Raven said no, and Raven's no was going to mean something again. She wasn't going to rape Raven of her choices. Still, Raven and Tessa would be better off if that bastard died.
"I'm tired." Raven told her and Christy rolled onto her side while kicking off the shoes. In the morning they could decide what to do now.
……………….
Christy rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Her Emma hadn't filled her thoughts lately and she felt a little guilty about that. Her life had consisted of just surviving for this past week, and she knew it was normal that she'd pushed other concerns away, but it felt like she'd been even further from her lover than normal. It was still hard to believe she was safe, she felt like she still needed to watch her every move, but these were Raven's people. It was over, wasn't it? It was time to work on separating from her double.
"Can we try it without Emma first?" Raven asked. "I mean, we are connected differently, you said so, and I've watched the Professor training Tessa. I know something about telepathy, even if I can't experience it."
"Is that how you take over and talk to me?" Christy asked teasingly. "I'm not sure I want a trained Xman next time, it's a little creepy." She smiled a little, and wondered how insane they'd look if anyone could watch this conversation. "Although you are the prettiest body I've possessed lately."
"Are you flirting with me?" Raven chuckled and Christy managed to blush. "You are. Oh my god." It was just natural for Christy to flirt, but when she thought about it, it was probably a little creepy. "A little creepy, yeah." Raven's voice softened. "It's sweet too." Raven took control of a hand and Christy's eyes widened when she lost the control. This was new. That hand caressed Raven's stomach softly, bare skin because the shirt had ridden up in their sleep.
"Any chance you can move that hand a little lower?" Christy teased and the petting stopped.
"Forget it pervert." Raven attempted teasing but the voice was too tense. Christy couldn't feel what the expression on their face was. Strange that it would be harder to read the woman whose body she was in than someone outside of her.
They hadn't really tried talking this much at the club, they didn't have nearly enough privacy for it. Doing it now gave Christy a strange feeling of closeness and a little nervousness. She hated to think it, but she worried about becoming the weaker one, the one trapped and unable to move anything herself. It was selfish, she knew that, but she preferred to be in control. Raven was the first one that could take that away from her. Christy was pretty sure given time Raven could do it.
"So there is no reason to think I can't help you separate by myself if you think I'm so powerful." Raven interrupted Christy's thoughts. "And now that you're a little more relaxed this is easier."
"We can try to do it without Emma, but we might need her." Christy could understand Raven's reluctance to letting Emma in.
"You know I'm surprised the others haven't tried to wake me for breakfast yet." Raven's control of the hand was underlined by the caresses continuing. Raven didn't want to talk about needing Emma just yet. It had to be hard to have to trust someone you considered an enemy, but really, the person Raven had trusted proved to be untrustworthy. Sometimes new alliances had to be formed.
Christy might not trust that Emma completely, but she did like her. That Emma had come through for her when she needed her to. She'd tried to help spare Tessa pain as well. Emma had also looked upset with Tessa going to Sebastian.
"Maybe they figure you deserve your rest." Christy answered gently. "Or maybe they're not so sure about me."
"Or maybe they're busy with Christmas stuff." Raven sighed. "God, I want to skip that this year. The sight of decorations makes me sick and the music… All I can see is them hurting me when I hear it. I hear a song and I remember what I was doing the last time I heard it." The hand caressing stopped and Christy felt herself regain control of it. "I just want them to pack up the tree I know is in the living room and hide it so I don't have to see it."
"We could avoid that room if you want." Christy didn't know what to say to that. It wasn't like she was all that fond of the reminders either. Her stomach growled, reminding her that it was past time for breakfast.
"Go get something for us to eat." Raven sighed. "I'm getting tired with all this talking anyhow."
"Love you." Christy thought, feeling helpless to ease the emotional scars, but wanting to.
"Flirt." Raven chuckled weakly, it sounded fake, like the woman was trying to pretend to be okay, and then Raven was gone. Christy sighed as she rolled out of bed and stared down at the clothes she'd fallen asleep in. A little straightening and it was good for another day. It wasn't like she wore it long before sleeping and really it was the most comfortable thing in Raven's closet.
"You could have told me how to get to the kitchen before you took off." Christy mumbled before opening the bedroom door and stepping out into the hall.
………………
Christy finally stepped into a large kitchen, with a soft sigh of relief at having found it she moved towards the refrigerator.
"Raven is a friend of mine." A cold voice spoke and Christy turned to see the black clad woman staring at her from the kitchen table. "I would hope you know better than to hurt her in any way." Storm's eyes were just as cold as her voice. Christy just stared for a moment, grateful that someone here was protective of her double.
"I'm doing my best not to." Christy told her as sincerely as she could and then moved towards the fridge. "How long has she been an artist?" She asked as she inspected the selection. "Her drawings are beautiful. I can't do that."
"As long as I've known her," Storm still sounded suspicious, but not as blatantly so, "she's been moving around drawing anyone standing still long enough. For my birthday she gave me a painting of myself."
Christy grabbed the orange and turned to look at Storm. "She paints too. Okay, officially feeling like the less talented sister." That earned her a more relaxed pose from Storm as Christy faced her while peeling her breakfast. "I always wanted to be able to do those things, but I never learned. Art just never was my thing."
"What was your thing?"
Christy had to think about that one for a moment. She had lots of interests, but nothing she'd pursued back in her home world. "School, I went to college for years and everything else was put on hold." And if she knew then what she knew now, she would have picked the major she wanted instead of the one that gave her a better future. "Then I became a teacher."
As Christy ate her orange they talked about the classes Christy used to teach. She was trying to make people believe she was more harmless than she really was, because she liked having the ability to walk around freely.
"How did a teacher end up here, stuck in my friend's body?" And the accusative tone was back. Storm had pretended to be put at ease. Good actress.
Christy sighed as she sat down at the kitchen table with Storm. "I have different powers than Raven. My lover and I were attacked and I used them, but I got caught up in my own portal, dimensional portal, and I've been trying to find my way home ever since." She slumped down in her chair a little. "Every time I get the wrong world I get stuck in another Christy's body, and it takes me a while to get free and try it all over again."
"Raven doesn't go by Christy." Storm's hand was warm as it settled over her own. "Her split from her family was too traumatic, she prefers Raven to the name her mother gave her." And that was baffling. Christy had talked to three other versions of her mother and knew her own mother well. She couldn't imagine a situation that would make that woman turn her own daughter away.
"Okay, I'll remember that." Christy gave Storm a nod to acknowledge the advice.
"And my name is Ororo."
"Ro.. Ro..." Christy teased.
"I'd hoped that at least one version of my friend could attempt my name." Ororo smiled, this time it seemed genuine.
"I have a training session with the team scheduled in a few minutes. Would you like to come?" Storm started to stand up. "It would be interesting to see how another Raven handles herself."
"I have no desire to play Xman." Christy spoke, and then realized she needed to tone down her animosity at the idea. "I'm not really a team player, and I hardly feel at my best."
"Okay, well I'll see you at lunch then."
Once she was alone Christy looked out the window, at the cold, and knew she wasn't going to be sitting by the side of the lake in this world. It was a shame, that had been a relaxing setting.
"Hello Christy." The Professor spoke. "I have a doctor coming by later, to make sure you're okay."
"Great." She let her lack of enthusiasm show. "Shall I pretend I fell down the stairs? Any doctor with half a brain will know better."
He paused and then stared at her. "A fight with the Hellfire club isn't a good idea, and anyone here that heard what Raven went through would want to defend her honor."
"Anyone but you." Christy crossed her arms in front of her. "So is that a vote for telling him I did a dive off the stairs?"
He sighed. "No, you're right, any doctor would know better. You can tell the doctor anything you need to." His voice was gentler, as if trying to tell her she could get the support she needed, like it was a gift.
"And how much will Doc remember later?" Her voice held her aggression, and she just turned to leave the room before he could answer. She knew how telepaths dealt with keeping secrets.
"You know Tessa would be caught in the crossfire." He called after her. Christy hated him for using that to control Raven and her. It was pretty clear she was not allowed to tell, most likely ever.
"Leave him." She spoke as she climbed the stairs. "Just leave him. This is abuse, plan and simple and you don't need it."
……………..
Going through another thorough exam was no fun, and the Professor didn't have the foresight to get a female doctor for her either. She busied her mind as he looked at the healing job the first doctor did to her sex by trying to mentally comfort Raven. It distracted her from her own nervousness as well.
The doctor was so clinical and unsympathetic that Christy didn't bother talking about what had happened and let him just catalogue the damage and give her a cream for the scratches and bruises that still existed. He made her feel like an object he was repairing, not a person, and she hated every second around him. She was grateful to see him leave. He couldn't have been the regular doctor around here.
This all happened right before lunch, and she found she'd lost any appetite she might have had. She just walked past the kitchen and went back to Raven's room.
Christy closed the door behind them with a sigh. There really wasn't anything more she could think to say. "Shower?"
"Please." Raven answered her and her voice was shaky. "I want to get the feel of his hands off of me." And that's how Christy thought Raven might take that exam, like another violation.
……………
That night she was sitting on the floor in front of the wall of drawings, staring at them while she let her shield down. With no desire to visit anyone she'd stayed in the room for hours, working on building up her powers.
The knock interrupted her and Christy raised her shield and took a few deep breaths to try and calm down a little before answering. "Yeah?" It wasn't an invitation to come in.
"Dinner will be ready soon." The Russian accent gave him away. "Will you be joining us?"
"Sure." Christy stood up and had to stretch. She'd been sitting too long. "I'll be there soon." She was hungry now.
After she'd washed up she left the room in search of the dining room. She walked past the living room while keeping her eyes away from the tree and could hear the voices, which helped her find the others.
Kitty stared openly at her eyes and Christy gave the girl a soft smile, knowing that the glowing eyes weren't something Raven must have walked around with or it wouldn't gain Christy this type of attention. "It'll fade soon." She spoke softly, fully aware that more eyes were on them.
She took the chair across from a woman that hadn't been on the rescue team and pretended to not notice the stares. Her water glass became the focus of her attention.
The Professor said something about peace and his little dream, but Christy ignored him and watched the mashed potatoes instead. Once they were dishing up she barely bothered looking at anyone. If she thought she could get away with eating alone she would have just taken her plate and left.
When she reached out for a second helping of potatoes Christy barely touched the spoon before it fell out of the bowl and landed with a thump on the table. She watched as potato flew through the air and a small clump hit Storm in the face.
"I'm so sorry Mis…" She managed to stop herself from finishing the word Mistress. She didn't like that it seemed a reflex to call strong women that now.
"You're too formal." Storm smiled at her while using her napkin to clean up the potato on her face. "Ororo or Storm will do."
"Okay Storm." Christy's smile was fake, and her mind on other things, like wondering if she'd know if she'd been broken. Her fear of punishment had been too real.
…………
"Okay, this is getting ridiculous." Kitty's voice rose louder than needed to get past Raven's door. "It's a Christmas party. Why don't you come down and join us?" Because it's a Christmas party, Christy thought a little bitterly. She'd managed to stay out of the way for the last few days, spending most of her time pulling power, exercising, or just staring out the window. Raven wasn't feeling any more social than she was. They were perfectly happy alone in their room. "I'm Jewish and I'm going."
"How nice for you." Christy leaned back against the side of the bed. "But I have other things I want to do." Christy looked around the room hoping to find something for the next question.
"What? What's so important that you won't even let Raven come open presents?" Oh, so now she's preventing her double from doing things. Great. Christy just shook her head and picked up a nearby book. When Kitty's head slipped through her door Christy tossed it at the girl. The look of surprise was all she got for her effort, Kitty was still phased and untouchable.
"We don't want to go. I think she'd prefer to open her own presents when she actually has control of the body."
"What about yours?" Kitty stepped inside.
"It's rude to use your powers to come in when I clearly had the door locked." Christy gave Kitty a dirty look. "And I don't have any presents."
Kitty smiled at her like a child that knew a secret. "I saw your name on one of the gifts under the tree. There could be more."
Her name? No one knew she was even there until five days ago. Oh great, someone wanted her to feel like she belonged and now there wasn't a way out of having to go. I'm sorry Raven, Christy thought to her double.
"Not your fault." Raven whispered.
"What did you say?" Kitty asked.
"Raven says she doesn't blame me for this ruining our plans." She'd go, but there was no reason to stay any longer than necessary. Kitty seemed to deflate a little bit at Christy's less than thrilled sigh as Christy stood up. "Let's get this over with."
"Scrooge has nothing on you." Fine, they could blame her if they wanted. "Everyone's here." And that meant what? Christy didn't know any of them.
She was irritable as hell and did her best to rein that in as she came down the stairs. She could hear Christmas music and the murmur of a crowd and her body tensed, half expecting it to be the Hellfire club when she stepped into the room. The family like scene of people talking and laughing and hugging in the living room seemed almost wrong for this holiday.
How do you know if you're broken, Christy wondered again as she tried to blend into the wall and go unnoticed. Wanting to run from a simple party wasn't normal. After a deep breath Christy leaned against the wall, determined to be normal.
There was Scott. Christy watched him sitting with his arm around Jean. Her eye traveled over the crowd to find Bobby, and more of the original Xmen in the first photo she'd seen of Raven. The team that saved her was here as well, and then there was Rogue, another wallflower keeping away from the laughter and family air of the room.
Christy walked around the edges of the room and up to the other woman. Allies could be useful. From what little she'd heard Rogue hadn't been with the team all that long. A few suspicious looks Rogue's way confirmed it. "Hi." Christy gave Rogue a small smile. "Awkward isn't it?"
"What?" Rogue tilted her head just a little as she looked at Christy.
"Being at a party you know you don't belong at." Christy moved to lean against the wall and look at the others. "These people just wanted a Raven shaped person here, not me. I'm the woman that possessed their friend and got her all bruised up." Christy felt like she was being a little too manipulative as she glanced at Rogue out of the corner of her eye. Rogue seemed uncertain and out of place, painfully so. She seemed so easy. There were a few things Rogue could help Christy and Raven with. "You know how it is."
"Yeah, Ah do." Rogue spoke so softly.
"I heard about Carol. Can you still here her in your head? Raven has it the other way around apparently, she hears me." Christy remembered the stories about Rogue's touch powers absorbing Carol more permanently and it did seem a lot like the relationship Christy shared with Raven, the sharing of a body with one normally in charge.
"Ah can hear her." Rogue sighed, and then went quiet as they both watched the two Xmen teams talking and friendly with each other, but no one noticed either of them yet.
Christy turned to look into Rogue's face. "Do me a favor?" That got Rogue's attention. "Help me get out of this party as soon as possible? We were tortured to Christmas music and it's making me sick to hear it." Rogue's eyes widened just a moment, and then she just nodded. Christy found herself able to relax a little. Maybe the Professor would even let Rogue remember this.
Telling Rogue paid off quickly. Irene had sent her present via mail and aside from clothes and money, there was a few cd's. "Oh, Ah got to hear this one." Rogue's eyes caught Christy's as she gushed about her gift. "Can I put it in?"
"Well, it isn't exactly holiday music…" Someone hedged, but Rogue plowed on and got her way. Christy felt her tight shoulder muscles start to relax to the new music.
"Destiny sent that for you." Rogue whispered as she moved to stand behind the chair Christy was sitting on. "Normally she'd just send me a gift certificate to get my own."
"I always liked that woman." Christy gave Rogue a small smile, and spoke softly enough that Rogue had to lean in to hear her. Christy's voice softened. "Thank you."
"Did you really?" Rogue asked while they ignored the fact that Scott was opening a gift.
"Actually I never met her." Christy could have kicked herself for opening this can of worms. "But I heard nothing but good about Irene." The fact that Irene would be dying in a couple years was most likely something the precog would like to keep quiet. It was unlikely that Irene didn't know when she was going to die.
Rogue gave her a shy smile and leaned over to rest her arms on the back of Christy's chair while they waited for more gifts to come their way.
Christy carefully took the present being held out to her and studied the card. It was a simple card, with her name on it and nothing else. She had a very uneasy feeling about it, and the fact it didn't list who it was from.
She slid her nail under the box and loosened the tape, pulling the decorative lid off and stared into the box with a sick feeling of dread that proved almost precognitive. Staring up at her was a pile of photos. "That fucking bastard." Her growl had too many tears in it and she barely noticed the silence in the room as she quickly put the lid back on it and looked up to glare at the Professor.
"What is it?" Kitty asked with some concern, but Christy kept her eyes on the older man, glaring and dangerous. Christy got up and moved towards the Professor, slamming the box in his lap harshly. She leaned down and stared into his eyes.
"Look at those, every single fucking one of them." She pushed on the box. "Look at them and then tell me how we're supposed to pretend it didn't happen." She could feel Raven's unease, but Raven wasn't taking over. That was enough consent for Christy to leave that box of photos on the old man's lap.
"Raven, what are you talking about?" Scott demanded. Scott always demands in any reality doesn't he, Christy thought to herself, never just asks.
"Raven has left the building, and I'll be following her." Christy marched past the Xmen and grabbed a set of keys as she moved out the door. It shouldn't be too hard to figure out what car was Raven's.
"Christy." Rogue called after her and Christy didn't slow down, but she heard the footsteps running to catch up to her and then walking beside her. "What was in the box?"
"Pictures." Christy's jaw clenched. "Reminders that it won't ever be over for her, that Raven will always have that hanging over her head."
"They took pictures of your torture?" Rogue sounded horrified and it slowed Christy's steps down.
"Yeah." Christy took a deep breath and glanced up at the girl. "You know of any bars open today?" Christy reached out and grabbed Rogue's arm. "I need to get out of here. Come with me?" The cold in the air was starting to chill her uncomfortably.
"I don't know of any bars," Rogue spoke hesitantly as she was clearly trying to think, "but I was invited home for dinner, if I wanted."
"Perfect."
"Umm." Rogue looked down at the walkway. "You do know that Mystique is my mother, don't you? She's not really… one of the good guys."
"Good and evil are far more relative than you'd think." Christy sighed as she looked back at the mansion. "You'd be surprised how relative." Rogue left Mystique for Xavier, and Christy couldn't really say one was better than the other at this point in time.
"The garage is over there." Rogue pointed towards a building.
"Do you have a license?" Christy asked softly as they started walking that way. "I don't feel up to driving."
"I can do it." Rogue gently caressed Christy's arm before taking the keys out of her hand. "Don't you need a coat?"
"I don't want to give him a chance to tell me I can't go." She wouldn't listen, but there was a lot of Xmen in there to do his bidding and Christy knew she couldn't have taken them all on even in her own body.
"Okay."
When Rogue pulled out of the driveway Christy felt her body relax a little. No one was stopping them. Part of her had still felt like a prisoner here, but she was free, really free to leave.
Would any of them even remember she had been at the party?
……………..
"Rogue." An older woman's voice called out happily and Christy found herself staring at Irene hugging Rogue. "And you brought a friend. That's nice." The older woman smiled at her and even blind it was clear that Irene didn't need Christy to speak to know where she was.
"Why don't you come in dear, it is too chilly out here."
"Thank you Ma'am." Christy grimaced a little after she said that. Mystique she can just talk to like she's a regular woman, she'd always done that, but Destiny intimidated her. Christy followed Rogue and Irene into the townhouse. Her eyes looked around the living room for a familiar face, but she didn't see anyone else.
"I sent Mystique to the store."
"Afraid she'd see an Xman and start fighting first?" Christy smiled just a little as she closed the door behind her.
"Yes, and you aren't really an Xman are you dear?" Irene stared at her. Christy couldn't see her eyes through the dark glasses, but she felt like she was being stared through.
"No, not really." Christy spoke quietly, her unease obvious.
"Well, how about you kids help me set the table?"
"Come on Christy." Rogue grabbed her hand. "Kitchen's this way." The way Rogue acted and how Irene treated her made Christy feel like a school age child visiting a friend's house. It wasn't really a bad feeling, just awkward.
The table was set for four and Christy was sitting at the kitchen island with the other two women when she heard the door open. She looked up from where she was mashing potatoes to see Mystique walk into the room. The spike of pain at the familiarness was something she had gotten over when it dealt with Emma, but Mystique made her feel torn again. Her friend and not her friend, she hated how this worked. She took in the glare the blue skinned woman gave her, but disregarded it in favor of looking at what Mystique was wearing. The white complemented her skin, but the belt of tiny skulls was overdone and the loincloth-like appearance of her skirt a bit odd.
"You should try black leather pants. They'd look good on you." Christy smirked, unable to let this one go.
"Irene would you like to tell me why there's an Xman in our kitchen?"
"There's two." Rogue spoke a little coldly.
"No," Christy glanced at Rogue, "Just you, not me. Don't lump me into that."
"Mystique, this is Christy and she's our guest for dinner." The look on Mystique's face made Christy think maybe this hadn't been her best idea yet.
The best thing to do would be to take care of this tension first. "What's the going rate for a hit on a powerful and rich mutant?" It was still up in the air which one she was talking about, even to herself.
"Christy!" Rogue scolded her.
"What?" She asked Rogue with some irritation in her voice. "Are you going to spew something about Xmen not killing, because let me tell you something, sometimes the best way to deal with someone is a bullet in the brain." She sat back and forced her irritation out of her voice. "Besides I'm just asking. I'll probably do it myself. I just like to know how much money I'm saving."
Mystique started to chuckle and Christy smirked. Same old Mystique. "Irene doesn't let us talk about hits at the dinner table and it smells like dinner's almost ready."
"Want some wine?" Christy was sitting closest to the wine bottle.
"Sure." Mystique moved to the fridge and started to unload the bag she'd brought in. "So what's your deal Xman?"
"I'm not really Raven." Christy poured a glass of wine and ignored the strange look Rogue was giving her , probably because Christy felt more at ease now that Mystique was here. That was a very not Raven thing to do. "I've accidentally possessed her." She outlined her trips across realities and hinted that she'd run into trouble in this one, but she kept things vague as they sat down to Christmas dinner without any music in the background and no visible decoration. She found she was hungry, unlike her appetite at the well decorated mansion.