Jen raced down the corridor this was so not one of my better ideas she thought
"JEN, GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW SO THAT I CAN MAIM YOU!!!!" Came Lily's furious scream
Jen desperately tried to think of something to say that would pacify her friend
"Lily," she called behind her shoulder as she ran
"WHAT!!!???"
"Um… Please don't hurt me. I know that we haven't always had the same opinion on everything, but I've really always admired you"
"Really…" came Lily's suspicious reply
"Um, yes! Yes I have. I've always wished I looked like you too. You're so pretty"
"Really?"
"Uh, yeah. You have such straight teeth… They're so… white… and your fillings are so… shiny?"
"SHINY!? YOU ADMIRE ME BECAUSE MY FILLINGS ARE SHINY??!!"
Using her excellent powers of perception, Jen concluded that this may not have been the most tactful thing to say
"No!" She stammered "That's not what I meant to say. I was… Joking! Ha ha, yes, very funny. I… Of course your fillings aren't shiny. Did I say they were shiny? I meant they were… not shiny! They're dull, incredibly dull, so dull that if someone looked in your mouth they would think: wow, those are some dull fillings… Wait, you're still glaring at me. No, don't take out your wand Lily. Lily, no! Please don't hex me, Lily! Don't forget about anger management, anger management!
"Traitor!"
"Now Jamesie-"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"
"Sorry Jamsie"
"Sirius, I am going to kill you!"
"Na na na na na na na" Sirius sang "you can't catch me"
"SIRIUS!"
"What's the matter, Jamesie? Gotten slow in your old age?"
A hex shooting past Sirius's ear in the form of a small lightning bolt told him that teasing his friend when he was this angry was not the best of ideas
"Oh, come on James. It's not like she actually likes me, it's just a spell!"
"Yeah, a spell that YOU put on her!" James yelled, sending another jinx Sirius's way
"James, cut it out!"
"Backstabber!"
"Look James, do-"
"Traitressco!"
The spell hit Sirius in the back of the head, sending a shock through the rest of his body
Bugger Sirius thought
"James, what did you do th-"
Sirius's words were interrupted by another spell that hit the side of his left cheek, barely grazing his lips
"AAAA!!!! That stings!"
"Die!"
"My lips! What have you done to my lips?"
"He he he…"
"James! James, get away from me!"
Sirius tried desperately to think of something that would distract James long enough to
"James, look!" Sirius pointed wildly behind James "It's Snivellus!"
James whipped around
"What? I haven't hexed him this week: where is he?"
But the corridor was empty. James turned back around. The corridor was very empty: Sirius was gone.
Eliza sprinted down a corridor
I am so going to kill Lily... Eliza thought That is if you can kill people with dung bombs. Can you kill someone with dung bombs? I mean, they're just like bombs, only with dung… actually, there's really isn't dung that comes out of them, only dung stink… Can you die of dung stink? Why do they even call them dung bombs? Why not smells like dung bombs, or dung bombs: they only smell, or perhaps smell bombs: they only dung. Wait, that last one didn't really make any sense, did it? What does that even mean? Why can't I make any sense? How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Eliza was about to answer her own question when she ran into Peter. Literally.
"Ouch!" Exclaimed Peter as he fell over
Being the sweet, kind-hearted girl she was, Eliza made a tactful and sincere apology:
"Hey, watch where you're standing weirdo!"
"Sorry" apologized Peter
"… Well, I'll let it slide this time, but don't get in my way again"
"Sorry"
"Have you seen Lily?"
"No, sorry"
"You're no help"
Eliza started to run off again, but was stopped by Peter
"Wait, don't leave me!"
"Why?"
"…"
"Why!?"
"I'm… Lost"
"Lost! How can you possibly be lost?! You've lived here for seven years!"
Peter shrugged helplessly
"Oh great" Eliza sighed resignedly "Okay then, come with me"
The two walked in silence for a little while, Eliza walking as far away from Peter as possible
"What are the dung bombs for?" Peter finally asked
Eliza had a feeling that Peter would not approve of her plan to maim Lily, so she gave her customary excuse:
"Medical practice. I'm studying to be a doctor"
"Oh, cool! Can I help?"
"Um… sure" said Eliza, and thrust the bag of dung bombs into his hands "You can be, uh, Commander of the dung bombs"
"Wow, I've never been a commander before" said Peter happily, who had never been in charge of anything
"And with good reason too: You're a slimy little inferior worm"
"Gee, thanks"
"That wasn't a compliment, commander"
"Thanks"
"Don't say that"
"What, thanks?"
"Don't. Say. That" growled Eliza, her right eyelid twitching
"Uh… Thank you?"
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY THAT!!!" Eliza exploded
"Sorry!" Peter quailed
The two walked in silence for several more minutes
"So…" Peter asked after a while "What should I do with the dung bombs?"
"Well, if you see Lily, throw them at her"
"But why-"
"I'M A DOCOR, ALLRIGHT? I JUST KNOW THESE THINGS!"
Peter decided not to ask any more questions.
Jen ran as fast as she could, Lily in hot pursuit
"Get back here!" Screamed Lily
"Why should I?"
"So I can kill you!"
"Uh… No thanks"
"There they are!" Screamed Eliza, pointing "Launch the dung bombs!"
However, Peter didn't so much as launch the dung bombs, so much as fell on top of them.
"I said launch you moron, not fall!"
"I tripped"
"Nonsense!" Eliza narrowed here eyes "Are you conspiring against me?"
"What? No!"
"Then get up and start throwing those dung bombs!"
Peter tried to get up, but in the process fell down on top of them again. This, however, was too much for the dung bombs: they exploded.
"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Screamed Peter as the force of the explosion threw him into the air.
"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Screamed Eliza as her evil plan exploded before her eyes
"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Screamed Lily and Jen as the stench of the bombs reached their nostrils.
Lily and Jen took off away from the smell, each of them taking off in a different direction.
Jen hurtled along the corridor. Praying that Lily had gone the other way, Jen selected a door at random, opened it… and ran straight into Sirius
"Ahhh!" Screamed Jen
"Ahhh!" Screamed Sirius
"What are you doing in here?!"
"Hiding, duh. What are you doing here?"
"Hiding from Lily"
"Lily's around here?!"
Jen nodded glumly
"Ahhh! Hide me!" Sirius grabbed Jen by the waist and pulled her in front of him
"You're already hidden!"
"Oh…"
Several minutes went by
"Soo…"
"What?" asked Sirius
There was a long pause
"You can let go of my waist now"
"Oh. Uh, sorry, it's just, uh"
"No, it's okay. I don't mind… Oh, wait. I didn't mean it like that. I mean, don't think I'm a slut or anything, I just"
"I know, I'm sorry. I mean. No. Wait. I meant no, I know you're not… Let's just pretend this didn't happen, okay?"
"Okay"
The two stood in silence for a little while, listening
"Do I have anything on my face?" Sirius finally asked
"What?"
"I mean, James hit me with a spell and-"
"Oh… No I don't think so"
"Are you sure? Look closer"
Jen leaned closer
"Closer"
Jen leaned even closer
"Closer" Said Sirius, his voice almost a whisper
Jen leaned closer, and was about to tell Sirius that she was quite sure that there was nothing on his face when he kissed her.
To Jen it was one of those perfect moments that you want to capture and hold forever, and when you were feeling down you had only to think of that moment to be happy again. At lease, it would have been one of those moments had not a bright red bold of electricity sprung from Sirius's left cheek exactly where James's spell had hit him, barely grazing his lips – which were at the moment connected to Jen's lips. The electricity hit Jen, and she went flying backwards, falling painfully on her side.
"Jen!" Sirius ran over to her "Jen, are you okay?"
Jen pushed Sirius away, fighting back tears
"I can't" she began in halting tones "believe I fell for that! I mean I really… I thought you-"
Jen started to cry, sobbing tears of embarrassment, shame, and hurt.
Not caring if Lily saw her, Jen flung open the door and ran out, leaving behind a dismayed Sirius Black.
Sirius didn't follow Jen, he knew she wouldn't want to talk to him after what had just happened, he just sat quietly. When he finally spoke, it was in a low, venomous whisper
"James, you are so dead"
Well, that's the end of the chapter. Sorry for the delay in updates people.
To all of you who have been reviewing: Thank you! I'm so glad you like the story.